coaching for influence: two critical coaching moves: blending redirecting
TRANSCRIPT
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Coaching for Influence:
Two Critical Coaching Moves:
Blending
Redirecting
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Coaching for Influence:
Blending
Any behavior by which you reduce the difference between you and other people in
order to meet them where they are and move to common ground.
The result is an increase in rapport.
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Coaching for Influence:
Redirecting
Any behavior by which you use that rapport to change the
trajectory of that interaction.
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Coaching for Influence:
Listening to Understand
And
Speaking to be Heard
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Components of Effective Communication in
Coaching
• Asserting
• Active Listening
• Integrating
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Coaching for Influence:
Think of a satisfying communication
experience:
Jot down an adjective that would describe “how you
were” during that conversation.
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Coaching for Influence:
Think of an unsatisfying communication
experience:
Jot down an adjective that would describe “how you
were” during that exchange.
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Coaching for Influence:
The Problem: The Struggle to be Heard
I make an assertion.
You respond by making a counter
assertion.
I reassert my original view or
counter your assertion.
The communication deteriorates;
frustration escalates.
You reassert your original view or
counter my assertion.
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Coaching for Influence:
Asserting:
Expressing views and concerns frankly in ways
that minimize other’s defensiveness
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Key Elements of an Assertion Statement:
Concrete Data Grounds communication in
neutral, observable data
Feelings Makes accessible important
subjective data
Impact Makes clear why you think
there’s a problem
Tone of Communicates openness
Inquiry to hearing others’ views
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Key Elements of an Assertion Statement:
When (Concrete Data)
I feel (Meaning to you)
Because (Impact)
? (Tone of Inquiry)
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AssertionExpressing Concerns:
We often do not express our genuine concerns to others – we withhold them to spare
their feelings or spare ourselves discomfort and the
risk of candor
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Assertion
A Critical Barrier:
Putting the Problem FirstAnd not Imposing our
Solution
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AssertionExpressing Concerns:
When we do express concerns, we tend toward two extremes:
Either we are very blunt (leading others to be defensive)
Or, we are very indirect, in which case others do not get the message (and may become defensive or suspicious)
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Coaching for Influence:
Aggression Pursuing your views in ways that
disregard the view of others
Submission Sacrificing your views and interests in
deference to those of others
Assertion Pursuing your views and interests in
ways that respect those of others
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Components of Effective Communication in
Coaching
• Asserting
•Active Listening
• Integrating
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Coaching for Influence:
Active Listening:
Constructing the meaning of what another person is
saying in ways that encourage expression of underlying thoughts and
feelings
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Active ListeningThe Critical Choice:
To focus on the other person, attending carefully to what he or she says, means,
wants to say , thinks and feelsOR
To focus on your message by countering what the other person says
or reasserting what you have to say
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Active Listening
What are you doing when you are not listening?
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Active ListeningElements of Active Listening:Acknowledging what you hear
Encouraging the other person to say more
Actively exploring his or her perspective
Testing the meaning to the other person
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Active ListeningThe Critical Choice:
To focus on the other person, attending carefully to what he or she says, means,
wants to say , thinks and feelsOR
To focus on your message by countering what the other person says
or reasserting what you have to say
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Active ListeningTechniques for Active Listening:
ReflectingSaying back the essential meaning – key thoughts and/or
feelings
InquiringAsking Genuine Questions and checking out
interpretations
SummarizingPeriodically synthesizing and testing what you have heard
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Active ListeningWays of Reflecting:
Parroting the words (Revoicing, Backtracking, etc.)
Paraphrasing the content (Revoicing)
Reflecting back the “gist” – thoughts and feelings
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Active ListeningWays of Reflecting:
Effort tomirrorwhat was
literallysaid
Effort to capture implicit feelings, implications
Parroting
Paraphrasing
Reflecting the “gist”
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Active ListeningWays of Reflecting:
Risk of
sounding
insulting
Risk of being wrong
Parroting
Paraphrasing
Reflecting the “gist”
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Active ListeningDelivering Reflecting Responses
Tone Avoid Sarcasm Make a flat statement or use a rising inflection
Phrasing Avoid direct questions Common Introductions
“So you’re thinking that…” “Sounds like you’re concerned that…” “You feel…because…” “I’m hearing that…” “Let me see if I understand what you are saying…”
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Coaching for Influence:
Inquiring:
Constructing the meaning of what another person is
saying in ways that encourage expression of underlying thoughts and
feelings
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Active ListeningInquiring through Genuine
Questions:
Kinds of Questions
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Active ListeningSummarizing:
Provides some closure to the conversation
Makes clear the next steps
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Components of Effective Communication in
Coaching
• Asserting
• Active Listening
•Integrating
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IntegratingIntegrating:
Asserting your perspective and actively listening to that of the other person in ways that lead to mutual understanding and
joint problem solving
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IntegratingSteps to Integrating:
1. Assert your perspective2. Actively Listen to the other person’s
perspective by reflecting back what you hear
3. Actively Inquire if necessary4. Make transition back to your perspective,
clarifying areas of agreement and difference
5. Explore solutions that integrate both perspectives
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Key Elements of an Assertion Statement:
Concrete Data Grounds communication in
neutral, observable data
Feelings Makes accessible important
subjective data
Impact Makes clear why you think
there’s a problem
Tone of Communicates openness
Inquiry to hearing others’ views
![Page 34: Coaching for Influence: Two Critical Coaching Moves: Blending Redirecting](https://reader036.vdocuments.mx/reader036/viewer/2022062314/56649dc95503460f94ac0301/html5/thumbnails/34.jpg)
Key Elements of an Assertion Statement:
When (Concrete Data)
I feel (Meaning to you)
Because (Impact)
? (Tone of Inquiry)
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Coaching for Influence:
Two Critical Coaching Moves:
Blending
Redirecting
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Coaching Role Play
Triad Roles: Teacher Coach Observer
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Coaching Role Play
Observer “Look Fors” Blending Reflecting (Parroting, Paraphrasing, and Gist)
Inquiring Summarizing