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Meditations ofancient, classical,Odyssean advice forthe modern achaeanman in times of peril,tribulation andembarrassment

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Forward

Having been delayed in my journey homefrom the grounds of troas, whe re manslaughtering hector slew multitude ofmultitudes of Achaeans, I have learnedgreat wisdom from my experiences. Ihave formulated a volume in which myknowledge may be passed down fromgeneration to generation, so that if youare ever in great times of peril,tribulation and embarrassment, you maylook upon the illustrious wisdom ofwily Odysseus.

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to Ever-Patient Penelope

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Getting what you needHaving been cursed by earth-shaker Poseidon,I was set forth on the island of thePhaeacians, dirty and naked. After seekingshelter and waking from deep slumber, Iheard a group of girls nearby. In mydesperation, I walked from the bushes in mydesolate state scaring all away except forlovely nausicaa. To make the best of thingsin situations like this, might I suggest ofperforming one of two actions:

clasp their knees in supplication flatter them immensely

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lesser of two evilsI bemoan not making the best of everysituation. Being faced with the dangersof the Scylla and charybdis, I was forcedto maximize the utility of my situationto effect the best outcome. Like manytimes in life, we are presented withsituations that all too often result inbad outcomes no matter the choice wemake. We must choose the lesser of twoevils in these maligned times becauseour experiences in this lifetime arerelative; we know no absolutes.

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You cant stay onogygia

After being held captive on calypsosfor many long years, I am wise enough tomake this claim: pleasurable things canbe ephemeral. I am reminded of my the meof relativity because going home to mywife is what I truly sought and ogygiawas a hindrance in my way. Would that myexperiences allow you to define yourmost important cares?

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All things inmoderation

Remember my friend elpenor. Alcoholexcess may result in your untimelydeath.

Remember the sirens. In times of peril,take the necessary precautions toeschew harm.

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The rules of Xeniamust be followed

Breaking the rules of xenia may resultin dire consequences, such as:

Becoming blind

Agonizing death

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Procrastination canbe key to survival

My beloved wife is the paragon of thismodus-operandi. In times of tribulation,one may stall the motives of others todelay an undesirable outcome, such asmarriage.

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AfterwordA word of advice to you, my friends. Iimplore you to call yo ur mother, oftento just keep in touch. In my absence, shetook her life because she lamented myimagined destruction in troy.