chapter 4: coaching, counseling and supportive communication what did you say?

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Chapter 4: Coaching, Counseling and Supportive Communication What did you say?

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Page 1: Chapter 4: Coaching, Counseling and Supportive Communication What did you say?

Chapter 4: Coaching, Counseling and Supportive Communication

What did you say?

Page 2: Chapter 4: Coaching, Counseling and Supportive Communication What did you say?

Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 2

Objectives

Differentiate between coaching and counseling problems

Avoid defensiveness and disconfirmation in interpersonal communication

Improve ability to apply principles of supportive communication

Improve work relationships by using personal management interviews

Page 3: Chapter 4: Coaching, Counseling and Supportive Communication What did you say?

Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 3

Communication Facts

Communication ability determines promotability

Communication quality between managers and employees is often low

80 percent of a manager’s day is spent in verbal communication

Page 4: Chapter 4: Coaching, Counseling and Supportive Communication What did you say?

Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 4

Effective Communication

Accurate, complete shared meaning – what sender means is what receiver gets

Supportive – relationship between sender and receiver is enhanced by communication

Timely – message arrives when receiver can use information

Page 5: Chapter 4: Coaching, Counseling and Supportive Communication What did you say?

Relationship Between Unskillful Communication and Interpersonal Relationships

Abrasive, insensitive, unskillful

message delivery

Distant, distrustful, uncaring

interpersonal relationships

Restricted, inaccurate

information and defective

communication flow

Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 5

Page 6: Chapter 4: Coaching, Counseling and Supportive Communication What did you say?

Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 6

Managerial Communications

Coaching giving advice, direction or information to

improve performance “I can help you do something better”

Counseling helping someone understand and resolve a

problem him/herself by displaying understanding

“I can help you recognize that a problem exists”

Page 7: Chapter 4: Coaching, Counseling and Supportive Communication What did you say?

Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 7

Obstacles to Effective Interpersonal Communication

DEFENSIVENESS One individual feels threatened or attacked

as a result of the communication Self-protection becomes paramount Energy is spent on constructing a defense

rather than on listening Aggression, anger, competitiveness, and/or

avoidance as a result of the communication

Page 8: Chapter 4: Coaching, Counseling and Supportive Communication What did you say?

Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 8

Obstacles to Effective Interpersonal Communications

DISCONFIRMATION One individual feels incompetent, unworthy,

or insignificant as a result of the communication

Attempts to reestablish self-worth take precedence

Energy is spent trying to portray self-importance rather than on listening

Showing off, self-centered behavior, withdrawal, and/or loss of motivation are common reactions

Page 9: Chapter 4: Coaching, Counseling and Supportive Communication What did you say?

Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 9

Supportive Communication Principles

Problem-oriented, not person-oriented “How can we solve this problem?” NOT “Because of you there is a

problem.”Based on congruence, not incongruence

“Your behavior really upset me.” NOT “Do I seem upset? No,

everything’s fine.”

Page 10: Chapter 4: Coaching, Counseling and Supportive Communication What did you say?

Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 10

Supportive Communication Principles

Descriptive, not evaluative “Here is what happened; here is my

reaction; here is what I suggest that would be more acceptable to me.”

NOT “You are wrong for doing what you did.”

Page 11: Chapter 4: Coaching, Counseling and Supportive Communication What did you say?

Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 11

Supportive Communication Principles

Validating, not invalidating “I have some ideas, but do you have

any suggestions?”NOT “You wouldn’t understand me, so

we’ll do it my way.”

Page 12: Chapter 4: Coaching, Counseling and Supportive Communication What did you say?

Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 12

Supportive Communication Principles

Specific, not global “You interrupted me three times

during the meeting.”NOT “You’re always

trying to get attention.”

Page 13: Chapter 4: Coaching, Counseling and Supportive Communication What did you say?

Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 13

Supportive Communication Principles

Conjunctive, not disjunctive “Relating to what you just said, I’d like

to discuss this.”NOT “I want to discuss this

(regardless of what you want to discuss).”

Page 14: Chapter 4: Coaching, Counseling and Supportive Communication What did you say?

Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 14

Supportive Communication Principles

Owned, not disowned “I’ve decided to turn down your

request because….”NOT “You have a

pretty good idea, but they just wouldn’t approve it.”

Page 15: Chapter 4: Coaching, Counseling and Supportive Communication What did you say?

Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 15

Supportive Communication Principles

Involves listening, not just talking “What do you think are the obstacles

standing in the way of improvement?”NOT “As I said before, you make too

many mistakes. You’re just not doing the job.”

Page 16: Chapter 4: Coaching, Counseling and Supportive Communication What did you say?

Response Types

DIRECTIVE RESPONSE

Generally useful when

coaching

CLOSED RESPONSE

Generally useful during later stages

of discussion

NONDIRECTIVE RESPONSE

Generally useful when counseling

OPEN RESPONSE

Generally useful during early stages of discussion

Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall

Advising, Deflecting, Probing, Reflecting

Advising, Deflecting, Probing, Reflecting

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Page 17: Chapter 4: Coaching, Counseling and Supportive Communication What did you say?

Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 17

Personal Management Interview (PMI)

Regularly scheduled, one-on-one meeting between manager and subordinate

Meeting is designed to assist in continuous improvement

Action items are generated and followed upCommunication is supportive and two-wayGenerally takes about an hour

Page 18: Chapter 4: Coaching, Counseling and Supportive Communication What did you say?

Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 18

Communicating Supportively: Behavioral Guidelines

Differentiate between coaching and counseling situations

Use problem-oriented statementsBe congruentUse descriptive, not evaluative,

statementsUse validating statements

Page 19: Chapter 4: Coaching, Counseling and Supportive Communication What did you say?

Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 19

Communicating Supportively: Behavioral Guidelines

Use specific, conjunctive statementsOwn your statementsDemonstrate supportive listening Implement a personal management

interview program

Page 20: Chapter 4: Coaching, Counseling and Supportive Communication What did you say?

An Analysis of “Find Somebody Else”

STATEMENT1. Ron

2. Mike

3. Ron

4. Mike

5. Ron

6. Mike

Etc..

ANALYSIS OF PRINCIPLESTends to be evaluative, so will cause defensiveness. Owns

rather than disowns feedback.

Indicates defensiveness; person oriented; confrontive approach with produce defensiveness.

Attempts to be problem oriented, validating, and descriptive.

Still person oriented; global, not specific; non-supportive listening.

Evaluative; advising rather than asking for alternatives’ implied accusations; non-specific.

Defensive; non-specific; avoids discussing problem definition or problem solutions.

Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall20