chapter 3: building self-esteem & self-confidence

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Interpersonal Communication and Self

We all are a Work-in-Progresshttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGFKAfixHJs&feature=related Stages of Psychosocial Development

Interpersonal Communication and SelfMost people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. ~Abraham Lincoln

Self Concept: Many selves Material self (you are your possessions)Social Self social situationsSpiritual self where do you stand with your valuesHow you play different roles.

Self-concept: Our many selves

Future selves or "possible selves" represent individuals' ideas of what they might become, what they would like to become, and what they are afraid of becoming.

Self image: You are in control

Self esteem: You can change your set point!

A person with poor self-esteem will feel the urge to put down or condescend to the person.

A person with good self-esteem when faced with a person showing ignorance or confusion or trouble will try and help the person.

Positive Self-Talkhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cc_szUYJAYE

Self-fulfilling Prophesy and the Placebo Effect

www.wired.com/medtech/drugs/magazine/17-09/ff_placebo_effectRead this article on External Links

The pole-vaulter experiment.In an experiment where pole vaulters were given mismarked heights that they believed were practice heights but were actually higher than their own personal best marks, it was discovered that most of the athletes cleared those heights because they believed they could do it from past performance.

How high can fleas jump?If you place a few fleas in a glass jar you can safely predict they will jump straight out again. (You see, fleas are quite capable of jumping high. Fleas are the best jumpers in the insect world. They can jump eight to ten inches high, many times their own height.) Now, if you catch them, place them in the jar again and put a lid an amazing piece of behavior reprogramming begins.

This time the fleas will learn that there is a limit to their freedom as they hit an obstacle, namely the lid, over and over. After a while you can take the lid off and you will discover to your amazement that the fleas keep jumping inside their 'prison' - just a little bit short of freedom. And, if you are not compassionate enough to tip them out, they will probably die within this 'safe space'.The fleas' ability to jump high did not change - but their willingness did. And that's what determines the difference. And this is pretty much the method of our own programming too, isn't it

Famous I.Q. Experiment In this field experiment, all the children in a primary school were used as subjects. Each grade, or year, was split into three streams (above average, average, and below average).The experimenters told the teachers at the school that they were going to administer an intelligence test that would determine which children would be academic "bloomers". These children would stand the greatest chance of becoming academically bright in the future. 20% of children in each of the 18 classes were chosen at random and labeled as bloomers. Their classroom teachers were told that these children were bloomers and therefore stood a good chance of becoming quite academic, when in fact, on average, the children would have been no different in academic ability than the rest of their classmates.After eight months the test was administered again to all of the children and the IQ gains were calculated. It was found that the children who had been labeled bloomers had significantly higher gains in IQ . The greatest gains were seen in the youngest children, grades one and two.

Self talk:Constructing your own reality

Calvin CoolidgeNothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

Self Efficacy: Its Role and Sourceshttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrzzbaomLmc&playnext=1&list=PL8DC68619C33582F8

Developing your inner confidence(within a realistic self appraisal)

Communication Starts with You:Believe in Yourself.

**www.wired.com/medtech/drugs/magazine/17-09/ff_placebo_effect

**If you place a few fleas in a glass jar you can safely predict they will jump straight out again. (You see, fleas are quite capable of jumping high. Fleas are the best jumpers in the insect world. They can jump eight to ten inches high, many times their own height.) Now, if you catch them, place them in the jar again and put a lid an amazing piece of behavior reprogramming begins.This time the fleas will learn that there is a limit to their freedom as they hit an obstacle, namely the lid, over and over. After a while you can take the lid off and you will discover to your amazement that the fleas keep jumping inside their 'prison' - just a little bit short of freedom. And, if you are not compassionate enough to tip them out, they will probably die within this 'safe space'.The fleas' ability to jump high did not change - but their willingness did. And that's what determines the difference. And this is pretty much the method of our own programming too, isn't it?

***

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