Chapter 10 Listening What do you think? Why do you think effective listening is so important to communication? Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery. Joyce Brothers Listening and Communication Purposes and Payoffs of Listening Learning Relating Influencing Playing Helping For discussion What internal and external obstacles make effective listening difficult for you? How can you overcome these obstacles? Stages of Listening Process Receiving Understanding Remembering Evaluating Responding Stages of ListeningReceiving Focus Attention on Speakers V & NV Avoid Distractions Focus on Speaker, Not What Youll Say Next Avoid Interrupting Stages of ListeningUnderstanding Relate New Information to What You Know See Speakers Point of View Ask Questions for Clarification Paraphrase Speakers Ideas Stages of ListeningRemembering Take Notes Tape Messages Memory is not Reproductive Memory is Reconstructed Stages of ListeningEvaluating Resist Premature Evaluation Give Speaker Benefit of the Doubt Distinguish Facts from Inferences Identify Speakers Biases and/or Prejudices Stages of ListeningResponding Support the Speaker with Back-Channeling Express Support for Speaker Respond Honestly Even in Disagreement Own Your Responses Provide a Supportive Atmosphere Problem-Causing Listening The Static Listener The Monotonous Feedback Giver The Overly Expressive Listener The Reader/Writer For discussion What types of nonlistening behaviors do you exhibit? How might you overcome these behaviors? Styles of Listening Empathic and Objective Punctuate from Speakers Point of View Punctuate from Speakers Point of View Engage in Equal, Two-Way Conversations Engage in Equal, Two-Way Conversations Seek to Understand Thoughts and Feelings Seek to Understand Thoughts and Feelings Avoid Offensive Listening Avoid Offensive Listening Styles of Listening Nonjudgmental and Critical Keep Open Mind Avoid Filtering or Oversimplifying Recognize Own Biases Avoid Uncritical Listening Note the different requirements in the following situations: Youre lost, and you ask a stranger for directions. Your child comes to you crying. You are in trouble and someone offers to help. Your spouse is being affectionate and playful. Opposing council is cross- examining you in court. Styles of Listening Surface and Depth Focus on Verbal and Nonverbal Focus on Verbal and Nonverbal Listen for Content and Relational Messages Listen for Content and Relational Messages Note Statements that Refer Back to Speaker Note Statements that Refer Back to Speaker Dont Disregard Literal Meanings Dont Disregard Literal Meanings Styles of Listening Active and Inactive Paraphrase Speakers Meaning Paraphrase Speakers Meaning Express Understanding of Speakers Feelings Express Understanding of Speakers Feelings Ask Questions Ask Questions For discussion What are some ways to get others to actively listen? TQLR T -- Tune in (The listener must tune in to the speaker and the subject, mentally calling up everything known about the subject and shutting out all distractions.) Q -- Question (The listener should mentally formulate questions. What will this speaker say about this topic? What is the speaker's background? I wonder if the speaker will talk about...?) L -- Listen (The listener should organize the information as it is received, anticipating what the speaker will say next and reacting mentally to everything heard.) R -- Review (The listener should go over what has been said, summarize, and evaluate constantly. Main ideas should be separated from subordinate ones.) Activity Listening to the sounds in your environment. What do you hear?