A Family Mystery Dinner Theater

   

Written  By  Neesa  Hart                        

Cartoon  Capers,  Copyright    2017  

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SHOW  SYNOPSIS:  Everyone’s  favorite  classic  Saturday  morning  cartoon  characters  have  gathered  for  SatoonCon,  the  Saturday  morning  cartoon  characters  conference  held  by  the  country’s  biggest  cartoon  multi-­‐conglomerate,  Mega  TV  Network.  Once  attendees  have  had  a  chance  to  rub  elbows  with  the  likes  of  Fred  &  Wilma  Flintstone,  George  &  Jane  Jetson,  Captain  Caveman,  Popeye  &  Olive  Oyl,  Bugs  Bunny,  and  many  others,  they  proceed  to  the  dining  hall  for  the  evening’s  big  keynote  dinner.  But  the  company’s  CEO  is  missing!  Foul  play  is  suspected  and  the  worst  is  feared.  It  will  take  one  of  the  cartoon  world’s  greatest  criminal  minds  to  unravel  this  mystery…  Inspector  Gadget!  Even  with  the  help  of  Velma  Dinkley  &  Daphne  Blake  (Scooby-­‐Doo)  will  Inspector  Gadget  get  to  the  bottom  of  this  mystery  before  the  end  of  the  night?  Join  us  for  an  evening  of  nostalgia,  fun,  food,  and  great  detective  work  by  you,  the  audience.  

   STORY  LOCATION:  Local  city  convention  center      TIME  FRAME:  Evening  Any  time  of  year.    

 

STAGE  SET:  Unit  Set.  Stage  is  split  with  stage  right  being  a  conference  stage  set  up  as  an  area  for  presentations  and  keynote  speaking.    Stage  left  is  backstage  with  crates,  boxes,  tables  and  barrels  etc.        

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CAST  LIST      

Amelia  Baze   Angelica  Pickles  

Addie  Rose  Hendrix   Pebbles  Flintstone  

Aria  Cochran   Captain  Caveman  

Bethany  Eversole   Jane  Jetson  

Buffi  Crouch   Granny  (with  Tweety)  

Courtney  Cochran   Witch  Hazel  

Ella  Grace  Van  Fleet   Betty  Rubble  

Hailey  May   Elroy  Jetson  

Jack  Chambers   Marvin  the  Martian  

Jenna  Moss   Brainy  Smurf  

Joel  Whitesell   Phil  DeVille  

Karen  Stoll   Linda  Jamison    

Karen  West   Rosie  the  Robot  

Lacy  Lumpkin   Wonder  Woman  

Maxwell  Stoll   Boris  Badenov  

Megan  Robinson   Natasha  Fatale  

Mia  Lucas   Judy  Jetson  

Mia  Medlin   Smurfette  

Olivia  Hardy   Wilma  Flintstone  

Ryan  Hulsey   George  Jetson  

Ryan  Jensen   Inspector  Gadget  

Sarah  Grayce  Crouch   Daphne  Blake  

Sarah  Moss   Lillian  DeVille  

Sierra  Whitesell   Velma  Dinkley  

Zach  Baze   Batman  

_______________________________________________________________________  

Dale  Dye   Director  

Hannah  Riddle   Stage  Manager  

Denise  Dye   Costuming  

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CAST  By  Scene      SCENE  1  –  Opener     Jamison SCENE  2  –  The  Lights  Fell Velma     Daphne     Granny     Witch  Hazel     George  Jetson     Jane  Jetson     Rosie     Boris     Natasha        SCENE  3  –  Talk  About  Contracts     Velma     Daphne          AUDIENCE  GAME  –     Name  that  CarTUNE  70’s  &-­‐80’s      SCENE  4  –  Rugrats  &  Smurfs     Jamison     Gadget     Smurfette     Brainy  Smurf     Angelica     Phil     Lil     Wonder  Woman          

SCENE  5  –  Caveman  was  on  the  Catwalk     Gadget     Boris     Natasha     Pebbles     Wilma      SCENE  6  –  Crime  Fighters  Talk     Wonder  Woman     Batman     Captain  Caveman SCENE  7  –  The  Spider  Scene     Jamison     Velma     Marvin     George     Judy     Elroy     Rosie     Wilma     Betty      AUDIENCE  GAME  –     Name  that  Car-­‐TUNE  90’s  –  2000’s      SCENE  8  –  Pink  Slips     Gadget     Smurfette     Brainy  Smurf     Granny     Hazel     Boris     Natasha  

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SCENE  9–  Staff  Meeting     Jamison     Gadget     Velma     Daphne     George     Boris     Natasha     Wilma     Betty     Batman      SCENE  10  –  Mom’s  Unite     Jane     Judy     Betty     Wilma     Pebbles     Marvin   SCENE  11  –  Jamison  is  Missing     Gadget     Velma     Daphne     Witch  Hazel     Boris     Natasha     Betty     Wonder  Woman      SCENE  12  –  Fixing  Rosie     Daphne     Brainy  Smurf     Granny     George     Elroy     Rosie      

SCENE  13  –  Settling  Everyone  Down     Gadget     Velma     Daphne     Batman      SCENE  14  –  Questioning  &  Suspicions     Gadget     Velma     Daphne     Marvin     George     Jane     Judy     Elroy     Boris     Natsha     Wilma     Pebbles     Betty      AUDIENCE  INTERROGATIN Q&A’s  with  all  characters   SCENE  15  –  Hiding  Backstage   Marvin     Witch  Hazel     Phil     Lil     Boris     Natasha      SCENE  16  –  The  Reveal  

  Entire  Cast  

 

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SCENE 1 1   2  (STAGE NOTE: All characters on stage with CEO front and 3  center addressing audience.) 4   5  JAMISON (CEO): -- (taps mic, use feedback sound fx) 6  Attention. Everyone. Can I have your attention please. 7  Take your seats. Yes, you – take your seat. Yes sit. 8  Everyone sit. Ahem. I am pleased to welcome you all to 9  our inaugural SatoonCon – 10   11  (STAGE NOTE: Characters on stage lead wild applause) 12   13  As you know, I am Linda Jamison, the Head of Mega TV 14  Network. I want each and everyone of you to know that we 15  here at MT Network are committed to bring Saturday 16  morning programming back to the Golden Age – when kids 17  around the world get up early on Saturdays and spend the 18  ENTIRE morning in front of the TV following the lives of 19  these (she indicates the characters on stage) amazing 20  actors and actresses who bring their stories to life 21  every week. 22   23  Later Tonight – I will be giving the keynote address 24  about the future of cartoons in our programming. This 25  evening we will also have some fun with some audience 26  members selected to play “Name the CarTUNE”! So for now, 27  enjoy your meal as we continue to prepare for the rest of 28  this evenings festivities. 29   30  (STAGE NOTE: Lights down. Single light up on CEO who is 31  on her cell phone.) 32   33  JAMISON: …because I told you I had to take care of some 34  things first. Of COURSE I can handle it. I have handled 35  it. Yes. Yes. No. No. Yes. It’ll be done tonight, I 36  promise you. No matter what, I won’t let this deal fall 37  apart. 38   39  (STAGE NOTE: LIGHTS DOWN) 40  

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SCENE 2 41   42  (STAGE NOTE: Jane Jetson runs on stage where Boris, 43  Natasha, Witch Hazel, Granny, Daphne, George and Rosie 44  are assembled.) 45   46  JANE: George! George! Thank goodness you’re here. You’d 47  better come quick. 48   49  (STAGE NOTE: George has some sort of space mechanical 50  device that he cannot turn off) 51   52  GEORGE: Jane! Stop this crazy thing! 53   54  JANE: George, there’s been a terrible accident. Several 55  lighting fixtures fell from the trusses and nearly hit 56  Linda Jamison. 57   58  ROSIE: Oh Dear. 59   60  NATASHA: How dreadful. Isn’t it dreadful Boris? 61   62  BORIS: Dreadful. I hope no one was hurt. 63   64  WITCH HAZEL: A thing like that could kill a person. 65   66  GRANNY: Oh dear. That would be unfortunate. 67   68  (STAGE NOTE: There is a long pause while the characters 69  look at each other.) 70   71  NATASHA: No one was killed... I hope? 72   73  JANE: No, no. No one was hurt, but everyone is badly 74  shaken. Batman and Wonder Woman are checking the 75  integrity of the other lights now – and they’ve relocated 76  the fans to another part of the building. 77   78  GEORGE: I hope that none of those lights used any Spacely 79  Sprockets. Mr. Spacely will not be happy. 80  

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81  DAPHNE: Hmm. Where was Miss Jamison when it happened? 82   83  JANE: Only a few feet away. Daphne it was terrible. She 84  was having what looked to be a very heated discussion 85  with Marvin the Martian inside the control room when we 86  heard this creaking noise from the catwalks – and then, 87  CRASH! Three fixtures came down almost on top of her! 88   89  GRANNY: It’s amazing she wasn’t seriously hurt. 90   91  DAPHNE: We should check and see if there were any signs 92  of foul play. 93   94  BORIS: I am certain that is not necessary. It is just an 95  accident. 96   97  DAPHNE: It never hurts to take a look. I’ll see what I 98  can find out. 99   100  WITCH HAZEL: Perhaps we should leave that to the 101  professionals, dear. 102   103  GRANNY: I’m certain there’s nothing to worry about. Let’s 104  go see if everyone is OK. 105   106  (STAGE NOTE: Everyone exits except Daphne.) 107   108  DAPHNE: Jeepers! 109   110  (STAGE NOTE: Lights down.) 111  

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SCENE 3 112   113  (STAGE NOTE: Velma and Daphne are on stage.) 114   115  VELMA: There has to be something going on, Daphne. I 116  don’t believe it’s a coincidence. 117   118  DAPHNE: Didn’t you say that Batman and Wonder woman are 119  already looking into it? 120   121  VELMA: Jane Jetson said they were inspecting the lights. 122  Everyone seems convinced it’s an accident. 123   124  DAPHNE: Well, Jeepers, Velma. Maybe it is. 125   126  VELMA: I don’t think so. I think we should look around. 127  I wish the boys were here. We could split up. 128   129  DAPHNE: Fred, Shaggy and Scooby are at Scooby Land for 130  the Grand opening. I was surprised Miss Jamison was able 131  to get us out of it so we could be here. 132   133  VELMA: I wasn’t. Linda Jamison does what she wants – if 134  something like a contract gets in her way, she just 135  breaks it! 136   137  DAPHNE: Well, have you noticed that she’s holding 138  EVERYONE to their original contracts – even the ones that 139  are 30 or 40 years old? 140   141  VELMA: There’s a reason she doesn’t have any friends in 142  the industry. Come on, Daphne, it’s time we have a look 143  at those lights. (Looks down at her watch.) Jinkies, look 144  how late it is. (Showing Daphne the watch.) 145   146  DAPHNE: Oh jeepers. Tonight’s entertainment should have 147  already started. We need to get the game show MC out 148  here. (They Exit.) 149  (Granny enters to conduct the first round of “Name that 150  carTUNE”. 151  

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SCENE 4 153  

(STAGE NOTE: Angelica, Phil, Lil, Smurfette and Brainy 154  Smurf enter.) 155   156  ANGELICA: All right you dumb babies – I am going to tell 157  Jamison exactly what we discussed and you’d better back 158  me up. 159   160  PHIL: We’re with you Angelica 161   162  LIL: All the way. 163   164  PHIL: Yeah. Especially if you can get Jamison to buy us a 165  kitty. 166   167  LIL: A brown one. With spots. 168   169  SMURFETTE: I think we can just explain to Miss Jamison 170  what our concerns are and she’ll understand. 171   172  ANGELICA: Yeah, well, she better. 173   174  (STAGE NOTE: Jamison enters with Wonder Woman and 175  Inspector Gadget.) 176   177  JAMISON: (cranky) You didn’t have to escort me. I told 178  you I was fine. 179   180  GADGET: Well, I, for one, am very appreciative. Those 181  lights falling that way was very unsettling. Someone 182  could have been killed. 183   184  WONDER WOMAN: We’re just being extra cautious. The Super 185  Friends are patrolling the perimeter. Aqua Man is 186  covering the river. Batman has the loading docks and main 187  entryways, and Superman is on aerial surveillance. 188  Nothing will get by us, I assure you. Now, I am going to 189  do a security sweep of the convention hall. 190   191  

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(STAGE NOTE: She exits. Angelica approaches Gadget and 192  Jamison.) 193   194  SMURFETTE: Miss Jamison – if you don’t mind. We’d like a 195  moment of your time. 196   197  ANGELICA: Yeah. I have a complaint. (To Phil and Lil) 198  Come on, you dumb babies. Back me up. 199   200  LIL: That’s right, a complaint. 201   202  PHIL: A big complaint. 203   204  BRAINY SMURF: Now, now. We all need to smurf down! As 205  complaints go, it’s probably not the biggest, but it is 206  rather significant. 207   208  JAMISON: Take it up with Human Resources, then. I don’t 209  have time for this. 210   211  ANGELICA: I like to go straight to the top. 212   213  SMURFETTE: We spoke with Human Resources already and they 214  suggested we should talk to Management. 215   216  JAMISON: Well, you’ll have to find someone else then. (To 217  Gadget) I need you to go cover the workshop in the East 218  Room – the fans want you and Rosie the Robot to show them 219  how your electronics work. Elroy Jetson will be there to 220  assist. 221   222  PHIL: (Tugs on Angelica’s sleeve) This isn’t working. 223   224  LIL: You’d better do something. Talk about the kitty. 225   226  ANGELICA: All right you two, start crying. 227   228  BRAINY SMURF: I don’t think that’s necessary. 229   230  PHIL: What? 231  

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232  ANGELICA: Crying. It drives adults crazy. She’ll do 233  anything to get rid of us. 234   235  LIL: if you say so. 236   237  (STAGE NOTE: The pair starts to cry loudly. Smurfette 238  steps around them to address Jamison directly.) 239   240  SMURFETTE: I’m sorry, Miss Jamison, I really just need a 241  moment. 242   243  JAMISON: (turns on them angrily.) Really? You’re going to 244  do this now? 245   246  ANGELICA: They’re going to do that until you hear our 247  complaint, because we’re quitting. All of us. Isn’t that 248  right Lil? 249   250  LIL: Yes. 251   252  ANGELICA: Phil? 253   254  PHIL: Yes. 255   256  ANGELICA: (crosses her arms) We’re quitting. All of us. 257  This place isn’t safe and we’re walking away if you don’t 258  fix it. 259   260  SMURFETTE: Oh… my… Smurf! 261   262  GADGET: Not safe? You mean the light fixtures. 263   264  PHIL: Those weren’t light fixtures. 265   266  BRAINY SMURF: Angelica and the babies seem to think 267  something smurfy has happened. 268   269  LIL: They were aliens. 270   271  

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JAMISON: This is ridiculous. 272   273  ANGELICA: It’s true. We saw them in the catwalks 274  yesterday. Creeping around. Their eyes were glowing. 275   276  LIL: And they dropped their missiles on you. 277   278  GADGET: Aliens did you say? Interesting. We may have to 279  look in to that. 280   281  JAMISON: There are NO aliens. It was an accident. That’s 282  all. Now all of you --- go back to the workshop rooms. I 283  have tonight’s announcement to prepare for. 284   285  ANGELICA: That’s not the only problem. 286   287  JAMISON: What now? 288   289  PHIL: There’s nothing in the break room but a vegetable 290  tray. 291   292  LIL: And someone ate all the carrots. Every last one. 293  There’s nothing left but broccoli. 294   295  PHIL: And… we need a kitty. 296   297  ANGELICA: We can’t work under these conditions. 298   299  JAMISON: That’s it – Take whatever complaints you have 300  and go see Human Resources. I have a network to run here. 301  I can’t be worried about who ate all the carrots. 302   303  (The Rugrats and Smurfs exit one direction. Jamison the 304  opposite. Gadget is left on stage.) 305   306  GADGET: Ate the carrots? Interesting. 307   308  (STAGE NOTE: Lights out.) 309  

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SCENE 5 310  

(STAGE NOTE: Gadget is on stage inspecting one of the 311  broke fixtures. Elroy Jetson, Pebbles and Betty Rubble 312  enter.) 313   314  ELROY: Say, Gadget – do you still have time to show me 315  how those elevator boots work? 316   317  GADGET: Of course, Go Go Gadget – 318   319  PEBBLES: (interrupts him) Before you do that, there’s 320  something we think you should know. 321   322  GADGET: Really? 323   324  WILMA: I was talking to Betty and Pebbles and they said 325  that late yesterday afternoon, while they were waiting 326  for a costume adjustment, they saw Captain Caveman up in 327  the catwalks above the control room. 328   329  GADGET: Is that a fact? 330   331  (STAGE NOTE: Boris and Natasha enter in disguise.) 332   333  BORIS: Hello, allow me to introduce myself. 334   335  EVERYONE: (slightly bored) Helloooo Boooris. 336   337  BORIS: Fine! Gadget – you are just the man we’ve been 338  looking for. 339   340  NATASHA: We have small business proposition for you. 341   342  GADGET: I’m a detective, not a banker. (Looks at Pebbles) 343  Now, did you happen to see what Captain Caveman was doing 344  in the catwalk? 345   346  PEBBLES: We saw him up there stomping around with his 347  club. 348   349  

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WILMA: It seemed very strange. We just thought you should 350  know. 351   352  BORIS: I am sure there is perfectly good explanation. We 353  can ask him later. 354   355  NATASHA: Perhaps he lost something. Perhaps he was trying 356  to see what set looked like from that angle. There are 357  any number of reasons he could have been up there. 358   359  GADGET: True – but it does seem suspicious, doesn’t it? 360   361  BORIS: Not at all – why is everyone so suspicious all of 362  sudden? Nothing terrible happened 363   364  GADGET: Elroy, my boy, this gives me an idea. Would you 365  see if you could round up Caveman for me? I’d like to ask 366  him a few questions. 367  

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SCENE 6 368  

369  (STAGE NOTE: Wonder Woman and Batman are on stage.) 370   371  WONDER WOMAN: Have you seen anything out of the ordinary? 372   373  BATMAN: Nothing. Though I hear there were aliens in the 374  catwalk yesterday. 375   376  WONDER WOMAN: I’m not sure how reliable that report is. 377  Velma, Daphne, and Gadget are looking into it. 378   379  BATMAN: If you ask me, if there’s foul play here, someone 380  should look at Boris and Natasha. They’re up to no good. 381   382  WONDER WOMAN: Aren’t they always? 383   384  (STAGE NOTE: Captain Caveman enters wielding his club.) 385   386  CAPTAIN CAVEMAN: Captain CAAAAVEMAAAAAAAN ! 387   388  WONDER WOMAN: I see undercover work isn’t your strong 389  suit. 390   391  CAPTAIN CAVEMAN: Unga Bunga, Me know you not only 392  superheroes here. I have (poses) skills. 393   394  BATMAN: How many crimes have you solved with that magic 395  club? 396   397  CAPTAIN CAVEMAN: Me solve lots of crimes. If there is 398  criminal, Captain CAAAAVEMAAAAAAAN find him. 399   400  WONDER WOMAN: We can use all the hands we can get. 401   402  BATMAN: I’m not so sure about that. 403   404  

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CAPTAIN CAVEMAN: You think you so good because you got 405  cape. Well, I got fur and club. (spins the club above his 406  head) First hero to find bad guy wins new contract! (Runs 407  off stage) 408   409  BATMAN: That guy. 410   411  WONDER WOMAN: He’s harmless. 412   413  BATMAN: Maybe. But… I’m Batman. If there’s a criminal 414  here – he’s mine. 415   416  WONDER WOMAN: You go take another look at the catwalks. 417  I’m going to check the rigging. We must be missing 418  something. 419  

(STAGE NOTE: Batman and Wonder Woman exit.) 420  

(STAGE NOTE: Natasha enters to MC the next round of “Name 421  that CarTUNE” with the audience members.) 422  

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SCENE 7 423  

(STAGE NOTE: Lights up on Elroy and Marvin.) 424   425  ELROY: Yes sir, Mr. Martian. I am a fully decorated Space 426  Cub and I sure would appreciate if you could tell me how 427  to make my cadet ship travel faster. 428   429  MARVIN: You need two ingredients for faster space travel. 430  One is eludium which is found inside the common earth 431  lamps that are used in the theater. The other is the 432  Martian element, pu36, only available in small quantities 433  inside network television studios. I have been trying to 434  locate it since I was forced to make an emergency landing 435  here years ago so I can return to Mars. 436   437  ELROY: Wow! It must be SOMETHING to travel all the way 438  from Mars. 439   440  MARVIN: Our planet is far superior, Earthling. You should 441  see it for yourself before I disintegrate your planet 442  because it obstructs my view of Venus. 443   444  (STAGE NOTE: A scream is heard off stage.) 445   446  MARVIN: Oh Dear. It seems there has been a horrible, 447  earth shattering kaboom. 448   449  (STAGE NOTE: Judy Jetson runs in holding Captain 450  Caveman’s club and Paul, Witch Hazel’s pet tarantula.) 451   452  JUDY: Someone did it on purpose. On purpose I tell you. 453   454  (STAGE NOTE: Wilma Flintstone, Betty Rubble and Rosie 455  Robot enter.) 456   457  WILMA: Are you alright, Judy? 458   459  BETTY: We heard you scream. 460   461  

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JUDY: Spiders. Everyone knows I’m afraid of Spiders. I 462  tripped on this stupid club as I was leaving my dressing 463  room and fell face first on to this…. This …. (She holds 464  up the squished Paul.) 465   466  ROSIE ROBOT: He seems flat. I believe he’s dead now. 467   468  (STAGE NOTE: Witch Hazel enters with George.) 469   470  GEORGE: Judy. Are you alright? 471   472  WILMA: She’s fine. She had quite as scare. 473   474  (STAGE NOTE: Rosie takes the spider and begins to walk in 475  circles.) 476   477  ROSIE: Who would leave a spider? Who would leave a 478  spider? 479   480  GEORGE: Jane! Jane! Would you turn this crazy thing off? 481   482  JUDY: I nearly broke my ankle tripping on that club. He 483  needs to be more careful with that thing. 484   485  (STAGE NOTE: Velma and Daphne enter.) 486   487  VELMA: (points to the spider) Someone is definitely up to 488  foul play here, Daphne. 489   490  (STAGE NOTE: Jamison Enters) 491   492  JAMISON: Everyone back to work. Back to work I say. We 493  have a building full of eager fans and a network to run. 494  (she checks her watch) and we have a staff meeting in 495  five minutes. 496  

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SCENE 8 497   498  (STAGE NOTE: Smurfette and Brainy Smurf on stage.) 499   500  SMURFETTE: I can’t understand why she’s so unpleasant. 501   502  BRAINY SMURF: Me either, Smurfette. She’s like Grouchy 503  Smurf all the time. 504   505  (STAGE NOTE: Witch Hazel and Granny enter waving pink 506  slips.) 507   508  WITCH HAZEL: You won’t believe this. You won’t believe 509  this. A pink slip. Jamison has sent me a pink slip. 510   511  GRANNY: Me too. (shakes her cage) Don’t worry Tweety, 512  we’ll be fine. 513   514  SMURFETTE: A what? 515   516  WITCH HAZEL: A pink slip. I’ve been fired. Re cast. 517   518  GRANNY: She is getting rid of our characters because she 519  says we’re old and irrelevant. 520   521  BRAINY: Oh dear. 522   523  WITCH HAZEL: Oh dear is right. She is getting rid of me 524  because she says I no longer appeal to younger audiences. 525  I knew this was coming. She’s been downsizing my part for 526  months. 527   528  GRANNY: Tweety and I haven’t had screen time in weeks. 529   530  STAGE NOTE: Gadget enters 531   532  GADGET: Go Go Gadget -- 533  

534  

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WITCH HAZEL: (interrupts him.) Gadget. Stop that nonsense 534  and focus on something truly important. (Waves the pink 535  slip at him.) Did you know anything about this – Jamison 536  is letting people go? 537   538  GRANNY: A clear case of age discrimination. 539   540  (STAGE NOTE: Boris and Natasha enter talking, not yet 541  noticing the group.) 542   543  NATASHA: Finally, Boris, we are rid of Moose and 544  Squirrel. We will have our own show like we always 545  dreamed. 546   547  BORIS: Jamison could not have … (he stops when he notices 548  the group) Hello, let me introduce myself... 549   550  WITCH HAZEL: She got rid of Rocky and Bullwinkle. First 551  the elderly, then the Witch, then the animals. (She looks 552  at the Smurfs) You two better watch out. Seems anyone not 553  young and human is on the chopping block! 554   555  GADGET: Now, now, calm down. Everyone calm down. There’s 556  a little thing called a studio contract. Jamison can’t do 557  anything unless the studio is sold. She has to abide by 558  the contract. I’m sure there’s a simple explanation for 559  all of this. 560   561  NATASHA: Oh there is. Jamison assures me she’ll let us 562  all know in staff meeting. 563  

564  

 19  

SCENE 9 564  

(STAGE NOTE: Staff meeting with Jamison, Daphne, George, 565  Wilma, Betty Rubble, Boris, Batman, Gadget and Marvin.) 566   567  JAMISON: All right listen up. I’m only going to say this 568  one time. I’m making some changes around here, and 569  everybody might as well like it because I’m the boss and 570  this is how I want it. We need ratings. And to get 571  ratings, we have to be relevant. To be relevant, we’re 572  going to change some story lines. This is how I want it 573  done: 574   575  George – that infernal Robot has to go. She’s outdated 576  and ancient. I want her and Elroy recast. Rosie needs to 577  be a droid and Elroy – older and better looking. Judy can 578  stay. She appeals to the tween boy demographic. 579   580  GEORGE: I can’t get rid of my own son, Jamison. Surely 581  you’re not suggesting – 582   583  JAMISON: It’s not a suggestion, Jetson. Make it happen. 584  (she looks at Daphne) Daphne, you have the most 585  successful show on this network, so we need more of it. 586  We’re going to broadcast you and that gang of meddling 587  kids 5 days a week. 588   589  DAPHNE: Five Days? We can’t be on set that many hours. 590   591  JAMISON: You’ll have to be if you want to work here. I’m 592  sure I’ll have no trouble replacing you – the good 593  looking girl next door – or your geeky friend. She’s out 594  dated anyway. That frumpy turtleneck sweater has to go. 595  (Turns to Wilma and Betty.) 596   597  Wilma. Betty. You’ll be divorcing Fred and Barney. 598  Everyone knows you’ve always been the brains of the 599  operation. I want the show to focus on your struggle as 600  single parents of Pebbles and Bam-Bam. 601   602  WILMA: Oh Dear. I don’t think I can. 603  

 20  

604  BETTY: That’s not going to work at all. 605   606  JAMISON: (continues undeterred) Boris – you’re out. You 607  and your girlfriend. 608   609  BORIS: Now wait one minute. 610   611  JAMISON: Americans are no longer afraid of Russians. I 612  need Wall Street executives stalking the Moose and the 613  Squirrel to make your show appeal to modern audiences. 614   615  Batman – the entire justice league needs a makeover. 616  Starting with you. This is the 21st century. Feelings 617  matter. Nobody has time or patience for your brooding. 618  You need to tap into a kinder, gentler man who understand 619  the need for safe spaces. 620   621  BATMAN: But – I’m Batman 622   623  JAMISON: We might want to think about changing that to 624  BatPerson – it’s more relatable. 625   626  And Gadget – you’re just an idiot. You’ve always been an 627  idiot. Everyone knew it was your niece, Penny, who 628  actually solved all the crimes. I need you to step up 629  your game – you need to be more Terminator and less 630  Edward Scissorhands. 631   632  Does everyone understand? 633   634  GADGET: Now see here Jamison – you can’t – 635   636  JAMISON: Oh, I can and I will. And I will be making the 637  announcement about all of this to the fans at the keynote 638  dinner tonight. So you’ll do it or you’ll get ready to go 639  back to the storyboards. One quality eraser and I could 640  do away with you all if I wanted to. 641  

642  

 21  

Scene 10 642   643  (STAGE NOTE: Lights up on Jane, Judy, Betty, Wilma, and 644  Pebbles.) 645   646  JANE: I can’t believe Jamison thinks she can split up our 647  families with one stroke of her pen! 648   649  JUDY: You can’t let dad get rid of Elroy. If it weren’t 650  for him I never would have met Jet Screamer! (swoons 651  dramatically) 652   653  JANE: Judy, this is not the time to be thinking about 654  rock stars! This is our life she is talking about, not 655  just her ratings. 656   657  BETTY: I would never divorce Barney! Our marriages are 658  the bedrock of our show. 659   660  WILMA: I know Betty. But, don’t worry... Jamison was 661  right about one thing. We are the brains of our operation 662  and we can fix this somehow. 663   664  PEBBLES: What do you have in mind, Mom? 665   666  WILMA: It looks like we only have two choices…either we 667  are out, or Jamison is out. 668   669  (STAGE NOTE: Marvin the Martian enters murmuring to 670  himself and looking around. Wilma stops talking to the 671  ladies and they all turn to look at him.) 672   673  BETTY: Can we help you, Marvin? 674  

675  

 22  

675  MARVIN: (suddenly realizing they are staring at him) 676  With you Earthlings running around and interrupting the 677  assembly of my space modulator, I seem to have misplaced 678  something very important. All of you are concerned about 679  television shows, but that will not be a problem soon. 680  You should be deciding how to leave the Earth before it 681  is disintegrated. 682   683   (Marvin leaves continuing to look around and murmur) 684   685  PEBBLES: He is so weird. 686   687  WILMA: We don’t have time to worry about him now. We must 688  take action to save our families. I need some time to 689  think, but we can’t just stand by and watch Jamison ruin 690  us. 691   692  

693  

 23  

SCENE 11 693  

694  (STAGE NOTE: Everyone is on stage anxiously and angrily 695  awaiting Jamison’s arrival.) 696   697  VELMA: She’s late. She’s never late 698   699  DAPHNE: It’s the only thing I ever liked about her. 700   701  BORIS: How long should we be waiting. 702   703  NATASHA: We will not stand for this disrespectful 704  treatment. Of course America is afraid of Mother Russia. 705  How absurd! 706   707  WITCH HAZEL: I won’t be able to find new work. How many 708  jobs do you think there are for 40 year old quirky 709  witches? 710   711  BETTY: I can’t leave Barney. I just can’t. 712   713  GADGET: Now everyone just calm down. Calm down. I’m sure 714  we can reach a reasonable compromise. 715   716  DAPHNE: Well, until someone finds Jamison, there will be 717  no compromise. 718   719  WONDER WOMAN: I’ll go. (exits) 720   721  BETTY: I don’t know what we’re going to do. This is 722  terrible. 723   724  BORIS: I was born to be a super villain. I’ve always been 725  a super villain. What will become of me? 726   727  NATASHA: Don’t worry, Boris, we will outsmart her. I’m 728  sure of it. 729   730  (STAGE NOTE: Wonder Woman Enters) 731   732  

 24  

VELMA: Well, did you find Jamison. 733   734  WONDER WOMAN: I went to her office. 735   736  GADGET: Well get her in here. 737   738  WONDER WOMAN: That’s going to be a problem. 739   740  NATASHA: Why? 741   742  WONDER WOMAN: Her office has been ransacked and she’s 743  missing. I can’t find her anywhere. I’m afraid that that 744  she met with foul play. 745   746  GADGET: Well, well, well, a mystery. Don’t fear. 747  Inspector Gadget’s on the case. 748   749  DAPHNE: Looks like you were right, Velma. There is foul 750  play. Inspector Gadget we can help you get to the bottom 751  of this mystery. 752  

753  

 25  

SCENE 12 753   754  (SCENE NOTE: Lights up on Granny, George, Rosie, Elroy, 755  Captain Caveman, Daphne, and Brainy Smurf.) 756   757  GRANNY: You’ve got to do something about her! She’s been 758  acting strange all day, but it was just too much when she 759  nearly vacuumed Tweety right out of his cage! He was 760  already worried about losing our job and now he’s too 761  frightened to even sing to me! 762   763  GEORGE: Don’t work Granny, we will figure out what’s 764  wrong. She’s never acted like this before. 765   766  ROSIE: Gee, Mr. J, I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s 767  happening to me! But what can you expect from wiring as 768  old as mine? 769   770  ELROY: Dad, maybe I should open her control panel and 771  check her sprockets and cogs. (Elroy climbs up on a box 772  to reach the back of Rosie’s head.) 773   774  CAVEMAN: Unga bunga, me can help. One hit with club 775  should fix problem. (Raises his club to hit Rosie but 776  George catches the club mid swing.) 777   778  GEORGE: No! Thanks a lot, Captain Caveman, but between 779  Elroy’s sprocket knowledge and Brainy Smurf’s knowledge 780  about... well, most everything else, they will solve this 781  problem. 782   783  (STAGE NOTE: Brainy climbs up on the box with Elroy.) 784   785  DAPHNE: Maybe she is overworked. Can you just shut her 786  down and let her rest for a few days? You could even send 787  her back home for a tune up instead of opening her right 788  here. 789   790  

 26  

BRAINY: No, no, Daphne. We have every confidence that we 791  can correct her faulty wiring. If you could smurf back 792  for a minute, I can open the panel for Elroy. 793   794  (STAGE NOTE: Brainy opens panel) 795   796  ELROY: Wow! I think I found the problem! What is all 797  this? 798   799  (STAGE NOTE: As Elroy removes the gun, potion, and ray 800  gun, Daphne comments on each.) 801   802  DAPHNE: Jeepers, I recognize that! I’m sure I’ve seen 803  Boris with that gun... 804  And, Witch Hazel was working on her potions while 805  preparing a workshop for the convention... 806  Where’s Marvin? That looks like his eludium pu36 space 807  modulator that he keeps talking about. 808   809  CAVEMAN: (Looking at the ray gun) Me glad me didn’t hit 810  robot. Space man say this make big kaboom! 811   812  ROSIE: Sorry I blew a fuse Sir. BUT I’m feeling much 813  better. Never fear while Rosie is here. 814   815  BRAINY: Rosie, you didn’t do anything wrong and it 816  doesn’t take a genius to see that this mystery is even 817  worse than we thought! 818   819  GRANNY: Daphne, you better tell Inspector Gadget about 820  this! 821   822  

823  

 27  

SCENE 13 823   824  GADGET: We finally got everyone to calm down. They’re all 825  in their dressing rooms waiting to hear from us. 826   827  BATMAN: The police are here. Superman and Aquaman are 828  briefing them now. Wonder Woman and I will go patrol the 829  perimeter while you investigate. 830   831  (He exits with Wonder Woman) 832   833  GADGET: Well, Ladies. It looks like we have our work cut 834  out for us. 835   836  DAPHNE: I think we should split up. Daphne and I will 837  talk to the Jetsons, The Flintstones, the Smurfs and 838  Captain Caveman. 839   840  GADGET: And I’ll take the Looney Tunes, Boris, Natasha 841  and the Rugrats. When Wonder Woman and Batman return, 842  perhaps they’ll have more information. 843   844  VELMA: Jinkies. I sure hope so. 845   846  (STAGE NOTE: Lights down.) 847  

848  

 28  

848  

 29  

SCENE 14 848  

849  (STAGE NOTE: Velma and Daphne are with Judy, Jane, 850  Marvin, George, Elroy and Rosie) 851   852  DAPHNE: So, George – you’re [saying] upset that Jamison 853  wanted you to get rid of Rosie and Elroy for the sake of 854  ratings. 855   856  GEORGE: Yes. But I wouldn’t kill her – I mean, I wouldn’t 857  even know how to do that. 858   859  MARVIN: All you would need is an eludium pu36 space 860  modulator. That would do it. 861   862  JANE: George gets frustrated, but he’s not a violent man. 863   864  JUDY: I’m telling you, girls, you’re barking up the wrong 865  tree. 866   867  DAPHNE: Why do you say that? 868   869  JUDY: You should be looking at the Russians. They had the 870  most to lose and the most access. They’d already met with 871  her earlier that day. I think they knew what she was 872  planning all along. 873   874  ELROY: It’s true. I heard them talking about how she was 875  getting rid of Rocky and Bullwinkle. (Looks at Rosie.) 876  Don’t worry, Rosie. We’re not going anywhere. 877   878  JUDY: If anyone had a reason to kill her, it’s those two. 879  Where are two former Russian Super Villains going to go 880  if she puts them out on the street? 881   882  ELROY: Plus, they are always masterminding elaborate 883  traps for the Moose and Squirrel. It would be just like 884  them to try to kill her off with those lights. 885   886  

 30  

(STAGE NOTE: Lights down. Lights up on Gadget with Boris 887  and Natasha.) 888   889  BORIS: How dare you accuse us in this manner, Gadget. 890   891  GADGET: No one is being accused. 892   893  NATASHA: We only hunt Moose and Squirrel. Never humans. 894  Anymore. 895   896  BORIS: We are far too intelligent to be outsmarted by 897  that Jamison woman. She only thought she had the upper 898  hand. We were already working a deal to change networks, 899  and Russia will soon be the enemy of America again! 900   901  NATASHA: It’s true. If you want to talk to someone – you 902  should talk to Caveman. He and Wilma Flintstone were 903  planning REVOLT! – a new network entirely committed to 904  prehistoric television. 905   906  BORIS: But to do it, they must first break contract with 907  MT Network and Jamison. That’s powerful motive if you ask 908  me. 909   910  (STAGE NOTE: Lights Down. Lights Up on Velma, Daphne and 911  the Flintstones.) 912   913  PEBBLES: We would never do anything like that. You can’t 914  blame us. 915   916  BETTY: We’re just a peaceful cave community. 917   918  WILMA: I wonder what Fred would say if he were here. 919   920  PEBBLES: Yabba Dabba Don’t. That’s what he’d say. 921   922  WILMA: You have to believe me. I’d leave the network 923  before I’d divorce Fred. It’s really that simple. 924   925  

 31  

PEBBLES: The person you should be looking at is Witch 926  Hazel. She’s been complaining for weeks that Jamison is 927  phasing her out. 928   929  VELMA: So there’s no truth to the rumor that you and 930  Caveman are planning a new network? 931   932  WILMA: Of course not. We’d never leave MT Network… unless 933  we were forced out. (Wilma takes Pebbles by the hand and 934  walks off the stage along with Betty. Leaving Velma and 935  Daphne on stage.) 936   937  (STAGE NOTE: Gadget enters joining Velma and Daphne). 938   939  GADGET: Wowzers! So many suspects! So little time! 940   941  VELMA: We may need to bring in reinforcements to question 942  all the suspects. 943   944  DAPHNE: Jeepers! I know what we can do. Why don’t we have 945  the audience question some of the suspects. 946   947  GADGET: Great idea Daphne. I normally solve these cases 948  alone but we can turn to the attendees for help. Maybe 949  they will see something that we don’t.(TO AUDIENCE) We 950  need you to question the suspects for us. 951   952  VELMA: On your table you will find an envelope with a 953  list of questions we have prepared. We will send out the 954  suspects and they will take turns coming around to your 955  tables. 956   957  DAPHNE: When a suspect approaches your table, your table 958  must agree on which 3 questions from the list to ask that 959  suspect. You may ask different questions of each suspect 960  or the same questions of everyone but they must be from 961  our list. 962   963  GADGET: When the table is finished questioning the 964  suspects, each person needs to take an accusation slip 965  and fill it out stating whom they feel is the perpetrator 966  of the crime, 967  

 32  

968  VELMA: how they did it, 969   970  DAPHANE: and what the motive was for their crime. 971   972  GADGET: Once completed our staff will come by and collect 973  those. I will now send out the suspects for questioning. 974   975   976  END SCENE 977   978  All suspects will go out to the tables. Move around 979  taking turns answering questions at different tables.  980  

981  

 33  

SCENE 15 981  

(STAGE NOTE: Witch Hazel, Marvin, Boris and Natasha are 982  on stage.) 983   984  WITCH HAZEL: Well, I didn’t kill her, but I can’t say I’m 985  sorry she’s gone. 986   987  BORIS: You had reason to kill her. More than anyone. 988   989  NATASHA: She had already notified you she was canceling 990  your contract. 991   992  WITCH HAZEL: I’m a witch. Not a killer. I use spells to 993  put people in misery. I’ve never been violent. You two 994  on the other hand… 995   996  NATASHA: Only with moose and squirrel. Only moose and 997  squirrel. 998   999  BORIS: I suppose it is good thing she is gone. No one 1000  could get along with her. 1001   1002  WITCH HAZEL: I wonder what will happen to the network, 1003  though. 1004   1005  MARVIN: Whatever happens, I must find what I need for my 1006  spacecraft before it shuts down. Without it I will be 1007  stuck here with you Earthlings forever. 1008   1009  NATASHA: Whatever it is, it can’t possibly be worse. We 1010  just have to make sure all of her notes are gone and no 1011  one knows what she was planning to do to all of us. 1012   1013  (STAGE NOTE: They leave together. Lights stay up. Phil 1014  and Lil come out of hiding.) 1015   1016  LIL: That was a great hiding spot Phil. 1017   1018  PHIL: Tommy and Chuckie still haven’t found us. 1019   1020  

 34  

LIL: And now we know what the grown ups have been talking 1021  about. 1022   1023  (STAGE NOTE: The box shakes and we hear TAZ sounds.) 1024   1025  PHIL: KITTY! (Points to the box) Hey, look Lil – it’s a 1026  kitty. 1027   1028  LIL: I want to pet the kitty. 1029   1030  (STAGE NOTE: they spend several seconds trying to figure 1031  out how to get into the box. They open the box some, peek 1032  in and look stunned and surprised. Lights down.) 1033   1034  

1035  

 35  

SCENE 16 1035  

1036  (STAGE NOTE: Everyone is gathered on stage. Velma enters 1037  with Phil and Lil.) 1038   1039  VELMA: All right, everyone, we have figured out what 1040  happened to Linda Jamison. 1041   1042  WILMA: You have? 1043   1044  GADGET: We used our brilliant powers of deduction and 1045  we’re ready to name a culprit. 1046  At first, I thought it had to be Boris and Natasha. They 1047  were the most obvious choice – they were being cancelled 1048  by the network and they have a long history of trying to 1049  dispose of their enemies. 1050   1051  VELMA: But we ruled them out because they were in a 1052  workshop on American Political Realities when Jamison 1053  went missing. 1054   1055  GADGET: Then we thought it must be the Martian. 1056   1057  MARVIN: If I had done it, she would have been obliterated 1058  in an earth shattering kaboom!. 1059   1060  VELMA: Captain Caveman – there was the report we heard 1061  that you were in the catwalks the day before the 1062  accident, and that you left your club outside Judy 1063  Jetson’s dressing room. 1064   1065  GADGET: It all seemed very suspicious until we realized 1066  that you were distracted by the meetings you’ve been 1067  having with Global Cartoon Network to launch your own 1068  series. You were in the catwalks because you were 1069  listening to Jamison’s conversation with Network 1070  Executives to see if she knew what you had planned. 1071   1072  CAPTAIN CAVEMAN: Captain Caveman is detective and catches 1073  criminals. He not one. 1074  

 36  

1075  VELMA: You left your club knowing that Judy would be 1076  headed for makeup at precisely the time you were meeting 1077  Global Cartoon Network Executives in the Breakroom – you 1078  needed to distract her. 1079   1080  GADGET: We looked at Witch Hazel and Granny too. 1081   1082  GRANNY: Oh dear. I’ve never been accused of anything like 1083  that. 1084   1085  GADGET: But we ruled it out. You might be upset that your 1086  roles were being recast. 1087   1088  VELMA: But at your age, retirement seems smarter than 1089  murder. 1090   1091  GADGET: Then we turned to the show mothers. Jamison 1092  wanted to break up their families for ratings and Wilma 1093  wanted to devise a plan to eliminate her. 1094   1095  BETTY: We would have never hurt anyone! 1096   1097  JANE: Shoot them into space maybe. 1098   1099  WILMA: All I wanted to do was get Jamison fired from her 1100  job and expose her for the horrible person she is. She 1101  should not be in control of what our children see on TV. 1102   1103  GADGET: We also looked at the other possibilities, but it 1104  was something I heard from Lil and Phil that finally 1105  convinced me who the culprit was. 1106   1107  PHIL: Was it the thing about the aliens? 1108   1109  GADGET: No. Actually, it was the thing about the carrots 1110  being missing from the break room. 1111   1112  LIL: Carrots. Kitties like carrots. 1113   1114  

 37  

VELMA: Well, carrots are also good for eyesight. So I 1115  started thinking who would have the best reason to be 1116  worried about improving eyesight 1117   1118  GADGET: Exactly. So someone could think it might be me, 1119  but I didn’t have a motive. However, the person who 1120  committed the crime was concerned about holding on to her 1121  image as an attractive member of the cast. Without her 1122  looks, she might be replaced. 1123   1124  GEORGE: It’s a woman?! 1125   1126  GADGET: Yes. Actually, a woman who still wants to hold on 1127  to her youthful good looks – but is ready for another 1128  stage of life. And I hate to say this – but… it’s Daphne. 1129   1130  (STAGE NOTE: Cast Reacts) 1131   1132  DAPHNE: (crumbles) It’s true. It’s true. I did it. I 1133  couldn’t face the idea of having to film 5 days a week. 1134  Of having to spend all of my time as the mostly useless 1135  girl next door while Velma and Fred and Shaggy solved all 1136  the crimes. 1137   1138  Don’t you see? Since the show went off the air, I’ve been 1139  awarded a PhD in astrophysics. I’ve won a Nobel Prize. I 1140  have finally been recognized for my mind and my 1141  abilities, but all Jamison wants from me is the young and 1142  pretty but witless member of the Scooby Doo Team who 1143  exists only to boost ratings. I just couldn’t do it. I 1144  couldn’t. 1145   1146  I even put all those things into Roise the Robot to throw 1147  off suspicion and make it look like everyone was hiding 1148  their murder weapons. 1149   1150  (STAGE NOTE: Batman steps forward to take her into 1151  custody.) 1152   1153  

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BATMAN: I’m afraid we’ll have to take you in, Daphne. I 1154  am sure justice will prevail. 1155   1156  VELMA: But that leaves one question – where IS Miss 1157  Jamison? 1158   1159  (STAGE NOTE: The box rocks and noises are heard coming 1160  from inside.) 1161   1162  PHIL & LIL: Kitty! 1163   1164  (STAGE NOTE: Wonder Woman approaches the box. Opens it to 1165  reveal Jamison inside bound and gagged.) 1166   1167  JAMISON: Finally. You bumbling idiots! I’ve been in that 1168  box this whole time. 1169   1170  GADGET: Sooooo, Daphne replaced Taz with Miss Jamison 1171  planning to ship her out of the country once the 1172  conference was over. 1173   1174  DAPHNE: That was my plan – I was going to ship her to 1175  Tasmania where she’d never be heard from again. 1176   1177  BATMAN: Diabolical. Let’s go. Justice can’t be delayed 1178  for anyone. 1179   1180  (STAGE NOTE: As they walk off – she looks at Phil and 1181  Lil.) 1182   1183  DAPHNE: And I would have gotten away with it too, if it 1184  weren’t for you meddling kids! 1185   1186  THE END 1187  

AngelicaPickles1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? IwasgivingCynthiathetourofthisjoint2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Ilikeher!Sheputthosedumbbabiesintheirplace!3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? I’mnota-posedtohavetathinkthishard.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk?‘ Causehe’sthreatenedbyworkingwomen!5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Well,justlikeItoldChuckiethatonetime.Thereare2kindsofpeopleinthisworld. Peoplewhomakethingshappen,likeME.Andpeoplewhojustseemto…well, getintheway.Likethosebabies!6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? Areyouadumbbabyorsomething?Somebodyshoveditinthere.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Alltheshowswillbeaboutme–theprettiest,smartest,bestestgirlintheworld!8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV. Well,everygoodbusinesswomanneedsaspirationandmineiscookies.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? Thatmeanoldladywiththatweirdhat!Shewasamixingallkindsofstufftogether… Ithinkshegaveherfoodpoisionin’10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe

Batman1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? Tryingtohidefromthosesmalladultswhohadbeenchasingmecallingme“Kitty!”2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? ItisthedutyofeverygoodcitizenofGothamCitytoreportsuspiciousactivity andIhadanotebookfullonJamison.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Jamisonwasrewritingscriptswithoutproperproofingandeveryoneknows thatgoodgrammarisessential!4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? Thetruecrimefighteralwayscarrieseverythingheneedsinhisutilitybelt. ForCavemantoleavehisclubisunacceptable.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Ibelievethatanylargecontingentofsuspectsmightcreateunnecessaryconfusion.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? It’sobvious.Onlyacriminalwouldhideevidenceontheirperson.Orwouldshe?7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Theyhavestrictlicensinglawsinthiscountry.Theshowsshouldstayinsyndication andweshouldreapthebenefitsofthehoursspentsolvingthecrimesofthepast.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV. That’sonetroublewithdualidentities,sir.Dualresponsibilities.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? Abitofadvice.Alwaysinspectarobotcarefully.Thesemachinescanbedeadly.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe

BettyRubble1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? TalkingwithBoris&Natashaabouttheirworldtravels.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Shewasaforcetobereckonedwith.Ihavealotofrespectforher.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Why,fortryingtotakeoverthecartoonworld,obviously! Somepeoplearejustthreatenedbyastrongwoman!4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? SometimesIjustdon’tknowwhat’sthematterwithmen!5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Youknow,lifeisfunny.Oneminutepeopleareyourbestfriendsandthenext you’refantasizingthatyouhaveyourownshow…6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? IknowwhenBarneycomeshomefromalongday,ItrytocleanupasquicklyasIcan. Itlookslikesomeonewastryingtohidesomething…7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? IhopethatMs.Jamisonhasn’tsharedherplanswiththenetworkoranyoneelse. Idon’tthinkherplansshouldgoforward.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV. I’mexcitingtobebackinthebox.MaybethenFredandBarneycouldtakeaday offfromtheSlateRockandGravelCompany.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? Well,IwoulddefinitelylookattheMartian.Ijustdon’ttrustanyonethatisn’t fromthe3rdrock.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe

Boris&NatashaApproachingthetable: Boris:Hello.Allowmetointroducemyself. Mynameis______________andthisis_________________my______________,___________. (Havefunandfillinwithwhateveryouwant.)1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? N:TalkingwithBettyRubble B:Aboutworlddomination,ofcourse.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? B:Shecouldbesupervillain. N:Idon’tknowifsheiscompetitionorifweshouldaskhertojoinourteam.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? B:Nooneeverlikesasupervillain.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? B:Whatisthis‘catwalk’?Ihaveseennocats. N:Butmaybecavemanisalargecat.Hehaveenoughhairtobecat.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? N:Thebestsupervillainsworkinpairs,ofcourse.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? B:IfIfindout,Iwillshowyouwhatarealvillaindoesto someonewhotakeshisweapons.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? N:Wedonotcareaboutthoseothershows. B:MotherRussiawillmakesurewealwayshaveaplacetopracticeworlddomination.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV N:Wearehappytohavemoreshowstotakeover. B:WewillshowyouthatWallStreetisnotasfrighteningasMotherRussia.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? B:IthinkyoushouldlookatthatGrannyandtheBird. N:Anyonewhopretendstobesosweetisalwayshidingsomething. Itisgoodcoverstory.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Boris&Natasha:Maybe

BrainySmurf1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? IwastalkingwithElroyaboutbuildingrobots.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Sheissmurfysmart.IthinksheandPapaSmurfwouldgetalongsmurfily.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Everyoneisjealousofthoseofuswithahigherintelligence.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? JustsmurfingaroundIsuppose.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Isasmurf’sbottomblue?6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? IntalkingtoElroy,I’mnotsurehowthatstuffevensmurfedinthere.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Ohmysmurf.Ihopewewillbeabletogobackontheair.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV. Ireallydon’tremembertheearlyyears…IwasonlyaSmurfling… soIwaslookingforwardtosmurfingallthatknowledge.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? It’sanySmurf’sguessbutbewareofthosetwocavewomen.Theyhuntinpacks.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe

CaptainCaveman1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? CaptCavemanflyingroundprotecting.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? UngaBunga..CaveylikeyLindee.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? OtherladiesjealousofCaveman’sattention.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? CaveytrytowatchoutforLindee…trytomakeloveconnection.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Maybe…MyLindeebetallwoman.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? Openend,stuffinside,closeup.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? CaptCavemannowgettoputonhimsnetwork.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV. Goodidea…wishCaveythoughtoffirst.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? MethinksPebbles…SherockcrushonCavey.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe

DaphneBlake1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? Iwaswithagroovygroupofactorsdiscussingoptionsandstyles.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? SherecognizedmytruetalentandbeautybybringingmetotheSatoonCon ratherthanShaggyandScooby.Ithinksheneededmetobringasenseofstyle totheconvention.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Ithinkshehadthisplannedallalongasapromotionalgimmick.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? CaptainCavemanhadbeenstalkingMsJamisonallweek.Whereveryousaw MsJamison,youknewthatCaptainCavemanwascloseby.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Ithinkbehindeverycrimeisamastermind.Idon’tthinkthissmalldisappearance requiredmorethanoneverysmartperson.Itdoesn’ttakeadegreeinastrophysicsto getridofsomeone.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? Jeepers–thattrulyisamystery.Itsureiscuriousthatthosegadgets showeduptherethough!7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Myguessiswewillallbepaidfortheconventionandthenseewhathappens8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV. IthinkthereisenoughrealityTVtoday…bachelors,housewives,teenmoms… bringbacksmartmysteriesandshowswithdomestichelp.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? IthinkI’venarroweditdowntoRussians,WitchHazelorMarvintheMartian. It’sjustsocurioushowtheiritemsshowedupinRosie.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? No.

ElroyJetson1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? IwasinthebreakroomwiththeRugRatsandPebbles.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Awe,shewasabigmeanlady.KindaafemaleMr.Spacely.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? EepOppOrkAhAh.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? It’skindastrangethathewasupthere.MaybehehastheVenusVirus.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Asaspacecubwearetrainedtoconsidereverypossibility.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? AsamastertinkererIcanassureyouthatsomeonehadtoputthosethingsinsideRosie.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? I’mhopingwecanalltravelbacktothemoonandstayattheMoonhattenTiptonHotel.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV. Itwouldbegreataslongaswewerestillallowedtohavefunontheset.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? I’dnormallysayitwasoneofthoserockstarsmysisterlikeslikeJetScreamerbut IthinksomeonemoredowntoearthlikeWonderWomanmightbeguilty.Shesneaks aroundintheinvisibleairplaneallthetime.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe.

GeorgeJetson1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? IwasmakinganintergalacticcalltoMr.Spacelyaboutneedingtotakeahalfdayoff fromworktomorrow.Ijustcan’tworkanentire4hourswhilewestraighten thismessout!2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Ifyouaskme,thelittleladyshouldn’tberunningamulti-conglomerate. Ihopedthatshewouldgetulcersinhercylotron.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Herheadwasjustoutinspace.HerideaswerewayoutthereandIdon’tthink theywereagoodidea.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? Ijustdon’tundertheprehistoricsclimbingeverywherewiththeirbarefeetandclubs. WhenIneedtogetuphighIjustuseahoverlift.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? ItcouldhavebeenthatgangfromOuterPlutonia. 6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? I’mnotsure.It’snotlikeRosietotakethings.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? I’mhopingthattheJetson’swillmakeabigcomebackjustlikewewere. Well,wecoulddowithoutthatJetScreameronourshow.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV. Slavedriver!Imagineputtingusbackonafourdayworkweek.Whatdoesshe thinkthisis?The20thcentury?ButI'vegotawife,twokidsand10finance companiestosupport,soIwouldhavedoneit.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? HaveyoutakenalookatthatBatfellow?Imeanhe’salwayswearingamask. What’shehiding?10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe

Granny1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? HunnyIwastakingalittlenapinthegreenroomandmissedthewholething. Whenyougettobemyagedailynapsareveryimportant.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? IthinksheneededaTasmanianDevilsetlooseinherbritches.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Landsakes,hun.Whenyoutreatpeoplethewayshedidyoube4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? Idon’tknowbutIthinkthatharrylittlebeastneedssomeclipperstakentothat headofhis.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Landsakesit’sanyone’sguessbutinmyexperienceonelittlecatcanget intoalotallbythemselves.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? Ithinkshe’salittlecleptoroboifyaaskme.Andforgetfultoo. Probablyhidthatstuffinthereandthenforgotwhereshehidit.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? WellI’mhopingIgetalittlemoreairtime.Ihavealotofcatfoodandbirdfoodtobuy.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV Landsakesalivehoney.I’mlikethatenergizerbunnyfella. I’lljustkeepgoin’andgoin’andgoin’aslongastheywillputmeontheair.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? Wellifyou’relookingforbrainsbehindanoperationIwouldn’toverlookthatlittle spaceboy,Elroy.He’saboyandinmyexperienceboysarejustasmischievousascats.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe

InspectorGadget1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? IwaswithseveralothercharacterswhenWonderWomancameinandtoldus shewasmissing.Ifearshe’smetwithfoulplay.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Wowzers!Jamisonwasn’tverylikeable.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Haveyoumetthewoman?She’saboutaspleasantasacoiledrattlesnakeorDr.Claw.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? Heseemstobeharmlessbutgetshimselfintotroubleeverywherehegoes.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? That’saverygoodquestion.I’mgoingtohavetoconsultmyniecePennyand seewhatshehastosayaboutthat.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? WellasanadvancedbionicinspectorIhavefoundthemoregadgetsyoucan incorporateintoyoursystemthemoreefficientyoubecome.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Isuspectthatwillbeuptothenewheadofthenetwork.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV? Ithinksit’sagrandplan!Nostalgiaisawonderfulthing.I’msureeveryonewouldenjoymanymoreseasonofmyshow.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? BetweenyouandmeIfindthosetwoRussianstobehighlysuspicious.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe.Afteryourlastquestionsay:Youallmakeagoodpoint!IneedtocallChiefQuimby.Go,GoGadgetphone!(Puttingyouhandtoyourheadandsaying)Hello…..Hello…(asyouwalkaway.)

JaneJetson1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? OurhomefooddispenserbrokeandIhadtowait20secondsatthe checkoutcounter,suchinefficiency.Iwastiedupallafternoon.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Shereallydidn’tunderstandtheimportanceofthenuclearfamily. Sheshouldn’tbeinchargeoffamilyTVprogramming.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Haveyoumether?4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? Prehistoriccharactersoftenhaveahardtimeadjustingtothemoderntechnologies.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? WhereI’mfromallittakesisaperson,agarbageshootormalfunctioning vacuumrobottomakethathappen.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? Shecouldhavemalfunctionedandhidthestuffthereherself.Sheisanolder modelXB-500inhomemaidbutshewastheonlyoneleftat U-Rent-A-Maidthatwecouldafford.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Theywillgoontolivetheirlivesandtakecareoftheirfamilies.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV. Itwouldbewonderfultobringourwholesome,futuristicfamilybackto thesmallscreenagain.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? Welltheprehistoricbabygirljustrunsamokanddoeswhatevershelikes. Ithinkshe’salittlemoresneakythanpeoplegivehercreditfor.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe

JudyJetson1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? WaitinginlineforthelatestJetScreameralbum!He’sjustsodreamy!2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Ican’tevenbelieveshewantsustogetridofRosie!Imean,whowillhelpat ourhomethen?Oh,yeah,andit’sprobablynogoodthatshewantsElroytoleavetoo.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Icouldn’ttellyou.Imean,Iknowmomanddadwereupset,buttheideaofgetting someoneolderandmoredreamytotakeElroy’sspotdoesn’tbothermeatall! MaybetheycouldgetSkyRockertoplayElroy!He’ssodreamy.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? Thatcavemanisneedstoletmeputhiminoursalonmachineathome. Ifwecouldgetthathairstyledthenmaybehecouldbeonarealcatwalk!5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? DoristoldSusieandSusietoldMaryandMarytoldFrancieandFrancietoldmethatit alwaystakesmorethanonepersontocommitacrime!6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? You’llhavetoaskElroyaboutthat.He’salwaysconnectinganddisconnecting thingsinsideherhead!7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Iwilljustcry!Imean,howelsewillIgettomeetCosmicCosmoifnotona superspecialepisodeofourshow?!8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV? AslongasIgettomeetnewboysandgotospaceconcerts,I’mhappytobeonas manytimesasshewantsmeto!9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? MaybeyoushouldtalktothatVelmagirl.I’venevermetanotherteenagegirlwho doesn’tjustlovemoviestarsandrockmusicians!Somethinghastobewrongwithher!10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe

Phil&LilDeVille1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? Phil:Wewereinthebreakroom. Lil:WithPebblesandElroy.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Lil:Shewasn’tverynice. Phil:Shewouldn’tgetusakitty!3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Lil:Sheneverlistenedtoanyone. Phil:Shealwaysorderedotherpeoplearound.KindalikeAngelica.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? Phil:Itwasn’tthecaveman. Lil:Itwasaliens!5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Lil:Thingsareeasierwithabunchofbabies. Phil:Likeopeningdoorsandstuffyou’retooshorttoreach.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? Lil:Itlookslikeaplacetohidestuff. Phil:Yeahlikewhenyouhideyourtoysinyourdiaper.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Phil:Wegoon. Lil:Forever.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV. Phil:Whatdoyoumean?We’restillon. Lil:Somewhere.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? Phil:I’dcheckoneofthosebluepeople.Especiallythatsmartone. Lil:Theyaresostrange.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Phil&Lil:Maybe

MarvintheMartian)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? Iwasworkingonmyeludiumpu36spacemodulator.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Shewasapowerfulwomanandpowerfulpeoplemakeimportantallieswhen youareworkingonaproject.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Shehadmanyplansforchangeandearthlingsdonotlikechange.ButIwillsolve allthoseproblemswhenIreturntoMarswithmyfaithfulcompanionK-9.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? Ihadaskedhimtohelpmecollecteludiumfromthecommontheaterlamps buthewasallthumbs.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Thebestwaytotakecareofaproblemiswithanarmyofinvaders. IalwayscallouttheMartianreserves.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? IfindhertechnologytobemuchmoreinferiortoMartiantechnology. Ourrobotsnevermalfunctioninthatway.It’smuchtoodangeroustotheinhabitants.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Thatisanirrelevantquestionearthling.BecauseassoonasIreturntoMars IwilldisintegrateyourplanetinanEarthshatteringKABOOM!8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV? Please sir, do not interrupt my chain of thought, with silly questions like this. I'm a busy Martian.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? Ifindthatbumblingroboticinspectorhighlysuspicious.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? MaybeAfteryouansweryour3rdquestionasyouleavesay:

Idonothavetimeforthisyouearthlings…..Delays.Delays.

PebblesFlintstone1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? IwaswiththeRugRatsandElroyhangingoutinthebreakroom.Butthere weren’tanygoodsnacks.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Shewasameenie!Ididnotlikeher.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Um,becauseshewasameenie!4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? He’salwaysshowingupinstrangeplaces.ButtheRugRatssaidthatthere werealiensinthecatwalks.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Welliftheyweremysizetheywouldneedseveral.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? Ithinkshewentalittlebitbonkersandstuffedallthatstuffintoherself.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Ihopethatweliveonforeverinreruns.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV I’myoungsoitwouldhavegivenmejobsecurity.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? Idon’ttrustthosefuturisticspacetravelers.ThatJetson’smotherisalways bossingkidsaround.Ithinkshelikesbeingincharge.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe

RosietheRobot1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? Iwasinaworkshop.No.No.Iwasinthebreakroom.No.Iwas...confused.

Iwasconfused2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Myprotocolsdonnotallowmetofeel.IfIstartedfeelingIwould

besentbacktotheU-Rent-A-Maidstore.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Itappearsthatmanypeopledidnotcareforher.Notatall.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? Thatisagoodquestion.Averygoodquestion.Heissuchaverystrangelittlecreature.

Heseemstobeuptosomething.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Well,Iitisstrangethatitemsfrom3differentpeoplewerehiddeninsideof

meforsomereason.Daphnefindsitsuspicious.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? Idonotknowhowallofthosethingsendedupinsideofme.IknowthatIhave

notfeltmyselfallday.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Welleveryoneseemshappythatshe’sgone.Theyallthinkthiswillsolvetheirproblems.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV Itseemsthatitissomethingthatpeoplelikeyouwouldenjoyandsupport.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? Ithinkthatscreaming,little,hairy,man10)DidyoukillLindaJamison?

Maybe

Smurfette1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance?Iwassmurfingmyhairinmydressingroom.Ittakesalotofworktobethissmurfyallthetime.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison?Well,eventhoughshecouldbemean,westrongwomenshouldsmurftogether.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted?Peopleareoftenjealousofsmurfywomen.Theyunderestimateusandwhenweshowhowsmurfywecanbe,theydon’talwayslikeit.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk?Catwalk?Idomybesttosteerclearofcats!HaveyouseenAzraelaroundhereanywhere?Ihatethatcat!5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance?Peoplewhoarereallysmurfydon’tneedanyhelp.Theycanhandlethingslikethatallbythemselves.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot?Whoknows?Ican’tbeexpectedtosmurfotherpeople’sthings.Ihavetodothatformyvillagealready.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone?Ohmysmurf!Ijustdon’tknow,butIreallyhopesomeonekeepusontheair!8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTVIthoughtitwasjustsmurfy!KidseverywherewillgettoseemeandmyvillageofSmurfseveryweek!9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison?IthinkyoushouldlookatDaphne.Shethinkssheissosmurfy.She’snottheonlyprettyfacearoundhere,youknow!10)DidyoukillLindaJamison?Maybe

VelmaDinkley1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? IwaswiththeotherinvestigatorswhenWonderWomantoldusshewasmissing.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Well,manypeopleareintimidatedbystrongintelligentwomen.Iwasn’tintimidatedby herbutshewasnotapleasantpersontobearound.Andsheknewnothingabout fashion-thissweaterisaclassic.Frumpymy…astrophysics!3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Itseemedlikeshedidn’tlikewhatanyonewasdoingontheirshowsexcept Daphnemaybe.Everyonehadtheirreasonsfornotlikingher.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? Heseemstodoalotofsneakingaround.Andhe’scarelesswiththatclubofhis.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Intheepisodesofourcrime-fightingcartoonitwasalmostalwaysoneperson. IftherewasadisgruntledfarmerorcarnivalworkeraroundhereI’dbesureitwashim.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? Idon’tknow.Ididn’tgetachancetoinvestigatethatbecausemyglasses weremissingandIwastryingtofindthem.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Hopefullytheywillcontinueforyearstocomeinpeacefulharmony.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV IthinkthatJamisonwastakingthingstoofar.Peopleenjoytheoriginalformatsoftheir childhoodcartoons.Herchangesweregoingtotakeittoofar. Imean,thissweaterisn’tfrumpy.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? I’mgettingclosertofindingtheculprit.I’msureitwasanotherfemale.Ifindteenage spacegirlswithrockstarobsessionstobehighlysuspect.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe

WitchHazel1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? IwaswithGadgetandtheotherswhenWonderWomancameinandsaid Jamisonwasmissing.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Jamisonwasanidiot!Firingsomeonewithmyabilitiesandhistorywiththe LooneyTuneswasjuststupid.Ihadalittlepotionaroundhereforjustsuchan occasionbutIcan’tfinditanywhere.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Didyoumeether?Ifyoudidyouwouldnothavetoaskthatquestion.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? Ihavenoclue.Hethinkshe’sThororsomethingflyingaroundwiththatclubofhis.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? OhhoneyIwouldn’tneedanyhelpifIweregoingtomakeherdisappear.Justone dropofmyspecialpotionand“POOF”!”She’dbegone.NowifIcanjustfindthat potionbottle.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? Stuff?Whatstuff?Insidetherobotyousay.I’llhavetoseewhat’sgoingon.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Hopefullywewillgobacktonormal.Doingourshowsandkeepingourjobs.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV. IthinkbringingbackSaturdayMorningCartoonsisagreatidea…aslongasIamstill ontheLooneyTunes.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? HaveyoutakenalookatthatGeorgeJetsonfellow?Forafuturisticmanheseemstobe alittleoldfashionedinthewayhethinksaboutpowerfulwomen.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe.

WonderWoman1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? Um.Iwastheonewhodiscoveredshewasmissing.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? InmylineofworkIdealwithallsortsofdifficultpeoplesoIhavegottenused tothattype.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Idon’tthinkshewaslikedbyanyoneandshewantedtomakealotofchanges. Peopledon’tnormallylikechange.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? He’sjustastrangelittlecaveman.I’veheardthatfromthereyoucanseeandhear everythinggoingoninthecontrolroomandonthestage.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? It’smucheasiertopulloffacrimewithanaccomplice.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? Iworkmorewithmagicalitemslikemylassooftruthandinvisibleairplane. Idon’tknowanythingaboutfuturisticelectronics.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Hopefullytheywillcontinueoninsyndicationforever.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV IthinkrestarttheSaturdayMorningcartoonsisagreatideaaslongasthe JusticeLeagueweretogetthebesttimeslot.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? I’mnormallysuspiciousofthecriminaltypesbutthatAngelicagirlisvicious. Shescaresme.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe.

WilmaFlintstone1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? Iwasintheexhibithalldemonstratinghowouroctopusdishwasherworks.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? HowcouldanyonefeelanythinggoodaboutMiss.Jamison?Shewasanawfulperson.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Everyonedislikedher.Sheshouldhavejustwalkedaroundwithatargetonherback.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? He’sastrangelittlecaveman,nothinglikethoseofusfrombedrock. Idon’thaveanyideawhyhewouldclimbupthere.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? It’sverypossible.Inacavecommunitythebestwaytotakecareofaproblemis withthehelpofothers.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? Ican’timaginewhysuchafuturisticcharacterwouldhaveaproblem. Allourhousehelpismucheasiertofix.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Ihopethatwecanalljustgobacktotakingcareofourfamiliesanddoingourshows.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV IthinkthatSaturdayMorningcartoonsarethebest.Weneedtobringthemback,but thewaytheywere…notwithallthoseupdates.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? WellifIwereyouI’dbelookingatthosetwins.Theygivemethecreeps. Alwaystogether,standingaround.Theyremindmeofsomethingfromahorrormovie. Theyarealwayssneakingaround.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe.