carolines peer review to me
TRANSCRIPT
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8/2/2019 Carolines Peer Review to Me
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Price1
Jenna Price
Mrs. Caruso
ENGL 1102
5 April 2012
Final Proposal
The Mysterious Sinkingis derived from the actual events of the Titanic. The story is
about a middle-aged woman, Rebecca, who was on board the titanic with her husband and three
kids. Everyone was told the titanic accidently collided with the iceberg, but Rebecca is the
only one who knows that is not true. The collision with the iceberg was no accident and
Rebeccas goal is to get the truth out into the world. She is the main character of this suspenseful
novel.
The purpose behind this novel is providing entertainment as well as mystery for all of its
readers. The mysterious sinking will be fiction and nonfiction at the same time. It will pursue a
fiction story but give accurate details on the actual sinking of the Titanic. This will make it
somewhat nonfiction. Readers will understand in depth what exactly happened on the night of
the sinking of this unsinkable ship, the real story.
The movie The Titanic really inspired me to write this novel. I see the movie as harsh
yet romantic and peaceful. It sets a tender mood that onlookers really seem to enjoy. When the
novel first came to mind, the actual events were undecided. It wasnt until later on that the
decision was made to add a mysterious edge to the novel. When people think of the titanic, they
think of a romance that involves a famous ship that hit an iceberg. The audience seems to look
past the fact of children and loving families were on board, as well. This novel will introduce the
hardships that one specific lower class family deals with from the time they were on board the
Caroline Jolley 4/10/12 10:12 AM
Comment [1]: ReviewedbyCaroline
Jolley
Jennawantstojustknowwhatelsetow
about.
Caroline Jolley 4/10/12 10:24 AM
Comment [2]: Thissentencewould
actuallybeagoodstarterbecauseitgra
thereadersattention.Somaybeyoucou
swapafewsentencesaroundandbegin
withthissentenceorasimilarsentence
Caroline Jolley 4/10/12 10:27 AM
Comment [3]: Youcouldmakethis
paragraphlongerbygivinganexample
fictionandnotfictionpiecethatwilltak
placeinyourstory.Thiswillalsogivey
audiencebetterunderstanding.
Caroline Jolley 4/10/12 10:40 AM
Comment [4]: Youcouldgiveexampl
fromtheoriginalTitanictoshowthe
contrastformofitinyourstory.
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ship until their last few seconds. The audience will now look past the romance part. This novel
will set a whole new perspective of the story behind the sinking of the titanic.
The characters will consist of a mother, father and their three kids with the mother being
the main character. The little boy, Andrew, is mentioned the most often throughout the story.
He is grounded yet extremely mischievous.
Caroline Jolley 4/10/12 10:29 AM
Comment [5]: Tryanstartthissenten
offdifferentlytoavoidrepeatingthe
audiencetwosentencesinarow.It
wouldnthurttomaybejustexcludethi
sentencefromtheparagraph.Itseemst
kindofbejustthrownintheir.
Caroline Jolley 4/10/12 10:41 AM
Comment [6]: Talkaboutwhattypeo
audiencewillbeinterestedinyourbookChildren,adults,families,companies,et
Caroline Jolley 4/10/12 10:38 AM
Comment [7]: Giveabriefsummaryotheplotofyourstory.Showexampleso
whatyourbookisgoingtobelikesothe
audienceknows.Showthemhowyour
isgoingtobedifferent.Whydoesyours
standout.Youcouldmakeawhole
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onwhattheplotofyourstoryisgoingt
about.
Caroline Jolley 4/10/12 10:42 AM
Comment [8]: Sofaritseemsthatyouhaveagoodstarttoyourpaper.Nowth
yourbeginningyourcharactersections
remembertodescribeeachcharacter
distinctlyandgivetheirpersonaltriats.