CALL TO FORGIVENESS

FR VICTOR EMMANUEL, S.J.

•FORGIVENESS IS CENTRAL AND DECISIVE IN THE GOOD NEWS OF JESUS CHRIST

•IT IS CENTRAL TO CHRISTIAN LIVING•AS HUMANS, ALL OF US GET HURT

AND HURT OTHERS•WE EASILY GET HURT AND FEEL

DIFFICULT TO FORGIVE

• REVENGE CAN ALSO BE MOTIVATED BY FAULTY RELIGIOUS BELIEFS

• EX: GUJARAT, MUMBAI, 9/11, KANDHAMAL…• MANY ARE TRAINED TO KILL OTHERS IN THE

WRONG DOCTRINE OF THEIR RELIGION• MR. SOLOMON DIAS BHANDARANAIKE THE

PM OF SRI LANKA WAS MURDERED IN 1959 AND FORGAVE HIM. BUDDHISTS DID NOT BUT A CHRISTAIN PRIEST DID!

•TWO-THIRDS OF JESUS TEACHING IS ON FORGIVENESS.

•MORE THAN HALF THE NO. OF PARABLE ARE ABOUT FORGIVENESS

•PRODIGAL SON (LK 15: 11-32), PETER (MT 18: 21-22

•FORGIVE THEM ( LK 23: 34)

•WE CHRISTIANS ARE CALLED TO BE FORGIVEN AND FORGIVING PEOPLE. BUT IN PRACTICE???

•OUR FRIENDS USUAL ADVICE? FORGIVE ---SHOW HIM/HER WHO REALLY ARE!!!

• POPE JOHN PAUL II• GLADYS STAINES• MUSLIM MOTHER IN DUBAI• BLACK PEOPLE IN SOUTH AFRICA• .• .• .• .

WHY DO WE NOT FORGIVE?•1. WE FEEL THAT BY NOT FORGIVING

THE OFFENDERS –WE HOLD POWER OVER THEM

ACTULALLY BY KEEPING OUR ENEMY IN MIND ALL THE TIME, WE ALLOW THE ENEMY TO HAVE CONTROL OVER OUR WHOLE SELVES

. WE ALLOW THE OTHER TO RULE OUR DECISIONS

• 2. WE HAVE DIFFICULTY IN ACCEPTING OUR OWN FAULTS AND IT HELPS US TO ESCAPE OUR OWN PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR LIVES

• WE HAVE DIFFCULTY IN ACCEPTING FAILURE

• WE EVADE RESPONSIBILTY FOR OUR ACTIONS

• I AM BROKEN BECAUSE OF ----MY PARENTS, FRIENDS DID NOT TREAT ME WELL, CONGREGATION, DIOCESE…

•3. WE KEEP DISTANCE FROM THEM PRESUMING THAT WE WILL NOT BE HURT AGAIN AND WE WILL NOT BE VULNERABLE

•I KNOW HIS/HER CHARACTER – SHE HURTS ME OFTEN. BETTER AVOID HER.

•THAT ACUTALLY CONTINUE TO HURT US!

•IF SOMEONE DIGS UP WHAT WE HIDE, WE WILL GET IRRITATED AND HURT

EFFECTS OF FORGIVENESS•WHEN WE DON’T FORGIVE WE CARRY

THE BURDEN OF PAIN AND ANGER, GENERALLY BECOMING RESENTFUL, DEPRESSED AND IRRITABLE

•WE BECOME DISORIENTED AND SLOWLY FORFEIT OUR CREATIVITY.

•WE BECOME WITHDRAWN, INACTIVE AND DISTANT FROM OTHERS’ JOYS

•OUR HUMAN SPIRIT GETS POISONED AND THAT POISON ENTERS OUR FEELINGS, RELATIONSHIPS AND ALL COMMUNICATION

•WE BECOME PREY TO SICKNESS OF ALL TYPES

WHAT IS NOT FORGIVENESS?•FORGIVENESS IS NOT FORGETTING- IT

CHANGES THE WAY WE REMEMBER•---TRUTH COMMISION IN SA•FORGIVENESS IS NOT CONDONING.

WE DON’T CANCELL OR MINIMIZE THE PAST OR TREAT IT AS IF NOTHING EVER HAPPENED. HURT CREATES INDELIBLE MARK IN OUR HEARTS. WE MINIMIZE THE EFFECT ON OUR LIFE

•FORGIVENESS IS NOT ABSOLUTION: IF SOMEONE HAS DONE WRONG, IT IS THE OFFENDER’S RESPONSIBILITY TO OWN UP AND MAKE PEACE WITH THE WRONGED.

•A THIRD PERSON CANNOT DECLARE IT OK

•ONLY GOD CAN GRANT ABSOLUTION. WE ONLY FORGIVE THEM FOR OUR OWN SAKE

•FORGIVENESS IS NOT A SIGN OF WEAKNESS BUT OF STRENGTH: NOR A SIGN OF COWARDICE – HE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO FORGIVE. IT IS REALLY TOUGH AND DIFFICULT TO FORGIVE. IT INVOLVES OUR MIND, HEART, SPIRIT ANS FEELINGS

•INTERNAL STRENGTH IS NEEDED TO FORGIVE

•IT IS UNCONDITIONAL- THERE IS NO HALF WAY FORGIVENESS

•FORGIVENESS IS NOT A CLEAR-CUT, ONE TIME DECISION: IT IS A PROCESS AND INVOLVES A SERIES OF DECISIONS

•IT TAKES TIME TO FORGIVE. IT DEPENDS ON THE DEPTH OF THE HURT

WHAT IS FORGIVING?•IT IS GIVING UP RESENTMENT AGAINST THE OFFENDER: RESENTMENT EATS AWAY OUR ENERGY AND FREEDOM, AND DESPOILS THE BEAUTY OF LIFE

•NO LONGER THESE DICTATE MY FUTURE ACTIONS

CHRISTIAN MEANING OF FORGIVENESS IT IS EXPERIENCING GOD’S

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND FORGIVENESS, AND THEREBY ALLOWING OURSELVES TO BE TRASFORMED BY GODIT IS UNCONDITIONAL AND WE DON’T MERIT ITTHE BIBLE IS FULL OF THIS THEMEBUT THE ONE WHO TURNS AGAINTS THE TRUTH/GOD CANNOT RECEIVE FORGIVENESS

•1. FORGIVENESS IS AN ACT OF LOVE. WHEN WE ARE FILLED WITH GOD’S LOVE WE COULD DO IT.

•THIS COMMUNICATES LOVE AND LIFE TO THE OFFENDER

•DO I NOT DESTROY MY ENEMIES WHEN I MAKE THEM MY FRIENDS? –A LINCOLN

•2. IT IS A FORM OF REALISM. IT MAKES US SEE HOW MUCH ENERGY WE WAST AND WE DAMAGE OUR OWN LIFE

•WE MIGHT HAVE SPENT JOYLESS NIGHTS AND CELEBRATIONS EARLIER TO THIS

3. FORGIVENESS IS AN INTERNAL PROCESS: IT CANNOT BE FORCED UPON US FROM OUTSIDE

4. IT IS A SIGN OF POSITIVE SELF-ESTEEM. WE ARE IN THE IMAGE OF GOD

5. WE DON’T KEEP RECORD OF WRONGS

6. FORGIVENESS IS A WAY TO FREEDOM. WE ARE NO LOGER OBSESSED BY ANY THING OR PERSON OF THE PAST

•7. FORGIVENESS IS HEALING. •8. IT IS REFUSAL TO JUDGE OTHERS

•9. THERE IS A NEED TO FORGIVE OURSELVES. WE OFFEND AND BLAME OURSELVES FOR THE FAILURES AND SHORTCOMINGS OF OUR LIVES! SELF-ACCEPTANCE AND SELF-LOVE

•10. FORGIVENESS IS LIMITLESS. MT 18:21-22

•11. FORGIVENESS LEADS TO RECONCILIATION

•EX: TEACHER FORGIVING HER WIFE MANY TIMES, HUSBAND COULD NOT FORGIVE HIS WIFE FOR GIVING A SON NOT OF THEIR TEXURE,

•“ ABSERVE ALL, IGNORE MANY AND CORRECT A FEW”- JOHN XXIII

•PRAY FOR YOUR ENEMIES ( LK 6: 27-28)

•MEMORY, TOGETHER WITH REASONING, IS A FUNCTION OF THE MIND.

•PRAYING AND FORGIVING IS MORE A FUNCTION OF THE HEART.

•HENCE, IN FORGIVING, THE ENEMY IS TO BE MOVED FROM OUR MIND TO OUR HEART

•PRAYER CONVERTS THE ENEMY INTO A FRIEND IN OUR HEART AND A NEW RELATIONSHIP BEGINS

•VENGENCE AND HATRED GOES ON EVEN AFTER THE DEATH OF THE ENEMY

•“ THROW US IN JAIL AND WE WILL STILL LOVE YOU. BOMB OUR HOUSES AND THREATEN OUR CHILDREN AND WE WILL STILL LOVE YOU. SEND YOUR HOODED PERPETRATORS OF VIOLENCE INTO OUR COMMUNITIES AT THE MIDNIGHT HOUR AND BEAT US AND LEAVE US HALF DEAD, AND WE SHALL STILL LOVE YOU”

•“ BUT BE YOU ASSURED THAT WE WILL WEAR YOU DOWN BY OUR CAPACITY TO SUFFER. ONE DAY WE SHALL WIN FREEDOM, BUT ONLY FOR OURSELVES. WE SHALL SO APPEAL IN THE PROCESS AND OUR VICTORY WILL BE DOUBLE VICTORY” MARTIN LUTHER KING JR

WHAT COULD HELP US FORGIVE?• FORGIVENESS FLOWS ESSENTIALLY FROM

ONE’S OWN FORGIVEN STATE OF BEING FORGIVEN.

• 1. STILLNESS AND RELAXATION• 2. SELF-ACCEPTANCE• 3. HUMAN UNDERSTANDING OF

BROKENESS• 4. MEDITATION ON JESUS’ SUFFERING

AND WHOLE OF HUMANITY• 5. A LIFE OF LOVE – WARM, RELATED AND

HARMONIOUS

THANK YOU

FR . VICTOR EMMANUEL, S.J.