THE POWER OF PARENTS

By Marianne Angelillo

Our Family

Matt was 17

Share My Stones

Consequence of No Consequences

When you drink you don’t think!

WISDOM

Stormie O’Martian…Power of a Praying Woman

”Wisdom is essential to have a good life…wisdom means having clear understanding and insight. It’s discerning what is right and wrong …it’s having good judgment…. it’s being able to sense you are getting too close to the edge. It’s making the right choice or decision.

The hole….The empty bed…

I Blame Society

6,000,000,000 Dollars Spent annually on alcohol advertising

68,000,000,000 is what underage drinking cost society in 2007

UNDERAGE DRINKING COSTS

Youth Violence………………$43,835.8 Youth Traffic Crashes………$10,019.3 High-Risk Sex, Ages 14-20 …$4,871.3 Youth Property Crime ........

$3,178.8 Youth Injury………………..... $2,064.5 Poisonings and Psychoses…..

$416.2 FAS Among Mothers 15-20….

$1,227.3 Youth Alcohol Treatment…..$2,400.3 Total ………………………….$68,001.5

You Can’t Afford to be Clueless

What we are up against!1. Leading cause of death of teens is

accidents many under the influence.2. We are fighting a 6 Billion dollar alcohol

advertising industry3. Underground drug marketing

campaign-”who is selling to your kids?”4. Society Norm

Risk Factors

Age of first use (Almost half of youth who begin drinking before 14 later become alcohol dependent)

Predictor Drug is Tobacco! Family history Society Norm

10 Beer Theory!

3 will not have any 5 will share 2 2 will drink 8…..

What is risk? Two friends out of 10!Two family members out of 10!

Why Middle School?

From Manager to Consultant

Adolescent Alcohol Abuse?

50% of 8th graders have had their first drink

Average age of first use is 12 More than 67% of youth who drink before

15 will try an illicit drug. 2/3 of teens report prescription drugs are

easy to find at home and 1 in 5 use to get high.

Middle school use goes from 17% in 6th grade to 41% in 8th grade. Crucial time to educate both parent and student.

Underdeveloped Teenage Brain

Adolescent Brain

Circuits are all being remodeled in teenage years

Brain is highly plastic and shaped by experience

Binge drinking and withdrawal can affect brain long term

-More brain damage following 4 day drinking binge in adolescents than adults

-Repeated alcohol exposure alters way you respond to alcohol later in life

-Alcohol impairs memory more in adolescents

Developmental AssetsProtective factors for youth

Parents are the key! Number between 1 and 7! Teen centers Athletics/extra-curricular School programs, such as SADD, ADAPEP,

etc. Youth Programs (Communities of Faith)

Skaneateles PACTOur Mission Statement

To work together as a community to help promote healthy attitudes and safe behavior relating to drugs and alcohol among the youth in our community and to promote programming based on the needs of the community.

Why Parent Coalitions? Give credibility and a voice to parents Can be a powerful force in Community

Athletic codes, youth groups, teen centers, etc Interface with schools and law

enforcement It takes adults to help change social

norms Shared Advocacy with others(ie.

Prev.Net.) Provides parent education and

involvement Utilize Captive Audience Power in numbers! Provides a Parent

Network Sponsors non-alcoholic functions

Ie. After the Ball parties

PACT Programs

Speakers-Milton Creagh-Chris and Toren Volkmann-From Binge to

Blackout-Dr. Ellen deLara-And Words Can Hurt

Forever-Dr. Brad Reedy-Second Nature Wilderness -Local Speakers-Angelillo’s, Matt McGlynn-Chris DePerno-Integra

PACT Community Reads

Why They Act That Way? …A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen by David Walsh

And Word Can Hurt Forever….by Ellen deLara on bullying

From Binge to Blackout by Chris and Toren Volkmann

Liaison’s

Prevention Network School task force-Drug and Alcohol Police and Law Enforcement-Stopped

Program School faculty reps on our board Youth Programs

How to get started? Governing Board (we have 8) Mission Statement Get Parents involved Identify key players in Community

School district Existing parent groups Libraries and service organizations Business leaders Law enforcement Local Government officials Existing prevention resources Clergy

Financial backing

501(c)(3) Requirementsnot for profit

Articles of OrganizationBylawsEmployer Identification Number(supplied)Exempt from Federal Income Tax onlyContributions are tax deductibleClassified as public charity or private

foundationAllows you to apply for grants

Keep the Faith

Start small… first do what seems manageable

Change doesn’t happen overnight but even a few changes can be encouraging

Challenging but necessary Change parent attitudes by education

and awareness Celebrate your successes!

Ideas for Parent Education

Communication between parent and teen The Adolescent Brain Drug Education Bullying The Stopped Program (driving) Prehab vs Rehab(Chris DePerno-Integra) Milton Creagh’ Parent advice Code of Conduct (athletic code) Consequence of no Consequences

Communication is Key!Dr. Brad Reedy

Second Nature Wilderness Therapy

Encourage child to share! Let them talk Start at an early age to discuss important

topics and to clearly state your expectations

Feelings are never right or wrong! Ok to feel! Pain can be used to learn Listen don’t fix, empathize don’t solve –

listen more than you talk! Validate feelings and use reflective

listening Be there more, not less, at your children

get older

Overcome Parental Barriers

Shame keeps many from getting help Many people feel it’s not relevant! I.e.

Life jacket on a plane…(Not My Child!) Many parents are not educated Be clear and concise about your rules

and expectations! Ask for help when you need it; there are

many sources of help in CNY

Football Field TheoryChris DePerno Integra

Clueless……………………………………………………………knowledge is power!!!!???????????????????not sure???????maybe I should check????What if?????formal test….??????????ask….??????check up???follow Up?????????ok let’s make sure.........confirm..?????????questioning?????worrying???????are they using??????Drug tested!!!!!!!!?????????are they where they say they are???...........call house….call friend’s parent….

0 yard line……35% 3 step eye test……………….50 yard line…………….Touchdown

DARS 7 Steps

Horizontal Gaze Nystagmus Vertical Gaze Nystagmus Non-Convergence Pulse Romberg Balance Pupillary Comparison Pupillary reaction to light

BAC = 50-angle of onset

Drug Test?

My good friend would have done anything to change her daughter’s addiction!

Ways to Test

Blood Urine Breath Hair Eyes Actions Balance Heart rate/pulse

Marijuana Test

Red eyes Dilated pupils Body tremors Odor of burnt Lt green stain on tongue Relaxed inhibitions, talkative, laughing Cooperative, carefree, apathetic, lazyParaphernalia – rolling papers, bong, figure

8 blunt splitters, bud of plant

DRUGS?

Illegal Drugs have no place in work society

today and never will!!!!

One night of drinking wipes out two weeks of training!

Adults are Role Models!!!

Use concept of Designated Driver Our kids will drink and drive if we do! Our kids will expect that drinking is part

of most social situations if we always have alcohol present for ourselves

Adolescents who know parents currently use marijuana or have used are at greater risk

They learn from us! Remember that our children are always

watching us and that our actions speak just as loudly (if not louder) than our words!

The Tipping Point

We used to smoke and clean ashtrays We used to smoke in restaurants There were no hosting laws We used to drink and drive with kids in

the car We used to litter We used to not care about graffiti We used to say, “I did it when I was

young and I am still here”! Do we include alcohol in student

functions?

You can tip the world!

JOB? CAREER? FUTURE? Tell me about yourself.Tell me about your experience.What is your most important

accomplishment to date?How would you describe your ideal job?Why did you choose this career?When did you decide on this career?What goals do you have in your career?How do you plan to achieve these goals?How do you personally define success?Describe a situation in which you were successful.What do you think it takes to be successful in this career?What accomplishments have given you the most satisfaction in your life?If you had to live your life over again, what one thing would you change?Would you rather work with information or with people?Are you a team player?What motivates you?Why should I hire you?Are you a goal-oriented person?Tell me about some of your recent goals and what you did to achieve them.What are your short-term goals?What is your long-range objective?What do you see yourself doing five years from now?Where do you want to become ten years from now?Do you handle conflict well?Have you ever had a conflict with a boss or professor? How did you resolve it?What major problem have you had to deal with recently?Do you handle pressure well?What is your greatest strength?What is your greatest weakness?If I were to ask one of your professors (or a boss) to describe you, what would he or she say?Why did you choose to attend your college?What changes would you make at your college?How has your education prepared you for your career?What were your favorite classes? Why?Do you enjoy doing independent research?Who were your favorite professors? Why?Why is your GPA not higher?Do you have any plans for further education?How much training do you think youll need to become a productive employee?What qualities do you feel a successful manager should have?Why do you want to work in the _____ industry?What do you know about our company?Why are you interested in our company?Do you have any location preferences?How familiar are you with the community that were located in?Are you willing to relocate? In the future?Are you willing to travel? How much?Is money important to you?How much money do you need to make to be happy?What kind of salary are you looking for?

If you had to live your life over what thing would you change?

Share your stones!