by Liz Longacre

5 STEPS TO AWAKEN YOUR PURPOSE &

Fulfill Your Destinyby Liz Longacre

Do you sometimes wonder if you’re living the life you were meant to? Do you ever feel insecure about the job you chose or the path you took in life? Do you ever wake up wondering if you should be doing something more meaningful, more true to who you are?

Part of living a gentle life is embracing and accepting who you are and what your greatest gifts are so you can use them to their fullest ability. We all have gifts and we all have a purpose. Yet we spend so much time focusing on our flaws, our mistakes and our past and missing the bigger picture.

Understanding your gifts and your life’s purpose allows you to feel total self-acceptance and tap into your limitless potential. The more you focus on and maximize your potential, the more value you’ll add to your career and relationships and the more confidently you can take steps in the direction of your dreams.

If you’ve got it all figured out already and you’re maximizing your gifts and living your

purpose, this guide may not be for you (but I’m endlessly happy for you!). This is for

people who know they’re longing for something meaningful in life, a higher calling,

but who either don’t know what that is or who don’t believe in themselves enough to

go after it. I used to be that person.

My Story...I used to work as an attorney at a big corporate law firm in New York. My day to day

life felt like I was running in a hamster wheel of misery. I kept a smile on my face and

eagerly did everything asked of me but as the years went by I lost more and more of

myself. The money, status and prestige that lured me to that job no longer felt

valuable, they felt worthless. My soul was totally and utterly empty and no amount in

my bank account could ever fill it.

I didn’t understand who I was or why I needed more, all I knew was that I felt like I

was living someone else’s life, walking in someone else’s shoes. My lucrative job was

an ironic abundance of anxiety, depression and generally feeling dissatisfied with life.

You can feel this way at any job, even at a fancy law firm, if the job you’re working at is

not fulfilling your life’s purpose.

But I struggled with believing in myself and trusting myself so I was always trying to

please people to prove myself worthy. Please my partners, please my clients, please my

colleagues, everyone’s needs came before mine. I had no idea who I really was

because I was too busy worrying about other people’s opinions. I was completely

disconnected with what makes me me, what my strengths are, my gifts, my purpose.

I eventually started listening to the messages my heart and soul had been screaming at

me for years. I started to prioritize myself, my needs and my wants. I started to

search for ways to heal my inner demons so that I could love myself enough to pursue

the life my soul longed for.

We all have a purpose to fulfill and we can only do so if we’re tuned into to the yearnings of our souls and if we love ourselves enough to listen.

What You Deserve . . .If you’re feeling anything similar to the ways I used to feel, you deserve infinitely

better. You deserve the spiritual richness of the heavens, the inner brightness of the

stars, and a galaxy worth of self-love and acceptance. And you can have it. It’s

exclusively in your hands to take it.

Life is tragically short. You need to grab a hold of your life, stop putting yourself or

your dreams on the back burner and start living with intention. Surround yourself

with positive, supportive people who can help you get there. Bathe yourself in

messages of encouragement. It’s never too late to be the best YOU you can be. It’s

never too late to seize control of your life.

I’m not telling you to do anything too drastic. Don’t up and quit your day job if it’s

paying your bills or skip town to chase a dream if it would irresponsible. I’m simply

telling you to get to know yourself better and start making small steps to live the life

you were destined to live, even if those small steps start with doing something for just

a couple of hours a week. With each small step you take, new doors open and new

pathways present themselves.

You can have a life filled with purpose, happiness, positivity, people who make you

feel like a superstar, and boundless love for yourself. No matter what circumstance

you’re in right now, that life can be yours. It’s your responsibility to take the steps to

get there.

I hope the below tips help to get you started.

1. Appreciate Your Greatest PainLooking at your greatest pain is a great tool in seeking out your purpose. Why?

Because our pains also give us our strengths.

My greatest pain is insecurity. I know what it feels like to want to hide under the

covers of your bed, tucked away from the rest of the world and what you perceive as its

harsh judgment of you. The feeling of never being good enough, of always having to

prove your worth. I spent too much of my life feeling this way and resenting the

circumstances that got me there.

The “pains” we experience can hurt deep in the cavity of our chest, like the worst

broken-hearted break up or the saddest death of a loved one. It can feel impossible to

move past them, to get over them, to see the lessons you could learn from them. You

may be angry at the circumstances or people that created them. You may question

what your life might be like if only that pain wasn’t a part of it. You get caught up in a

whirlpool of emotions and sucked in. It can be dark, deep and ugly.

You don’t deserve to feel this way. Ever.

SO WHAT ARE YOUR PAINS?What story do you tell yourself that holds you back the most in life? What’s the root of

that story? We’ve all been through stuff, some more than others. We’ve all had to

endure things that have hurt us, broken us down.

We could spend our lives dwelling in our pain, basking in it, letting it control our

everyday lives, letting it be the focus of the stories we tell ourselves, letting it hold us

back. Or we could take a different path and thank it for the lessons it’s taught us, the

strengths it’s given us, the gifts.

With every pain we experience in life, no matter how brutal or tragic, we receive a gift. In fact, the more brutal the pain is, the greater the gift. And then

that gift allows you to contribute to the world in a way that ONLY YOU can.

Perhaps life could have been more perfect for you. Perhaps you could have had the

life you’ve always envied in others. But if you had, would you have the depth,

understanding and insight that you do now? Would you have the same tools to

manifest change in the lives of others? Would you be able to make a difference in the

unique ways that only you can?

Your life experiences are invaluable. Never underestimated the strengths they’ve given you. Recognize them. Appreciate them. Use them.

YOUR GREATEST WEAKNESSES ARE YOUR GREATEST ASSETS.

Look at the pain you’ve spent years resenting and flesh out the gifts you have now

because of it. You can’t change the past, you can only change what you do with your

future. Your past may have been in someone else’s hands, but your future is in yours.

Create a new definition of yourself. I used to view myself as crushingly insecure,

overly sensitive, and of lesser value than everyone around me. Most people didn’t

know this about me, but that’s how I felt, deep down inside. Despite my

accomplishments in life, it was this negativity that caste its light on my perception.

I would never judge anyone else’s life like that, so why was I so free to judge my own

so harshly? And more importantly, how much of my life had I wasted on these

negative thoughts? Why can’t we treat ourselves with the same respect and

encouragement that we would treat others?

Now I view myself as gifted. I’m full of love and inspiration. I’m drenched in empathy

for the weakest among us; a bleeding heart animal lover. I’m constantly striving for

positivity. I’m a warm safe place for people to express themselves and receive total

acceptance. I’m an emotional writer (or so I’ve been told). And, one of my favorite

gifts, I’m able to vividly see the unique gifts others possess, even when they can’t –

other people’s gifts seem to shout out at me.

I’m not bragging, I’ve just learned to recognize the strengths that emerged from my

weaknesses. My strengths are invaluable and they are what make me me. There are a

million things I’m not good at but those things don’t matter, they don’t serve my

purpose so it wasn’t my destiny to be good at them. What are you destined to be good

at?

WHAT ARE YOUR STRENGTHS? They may not be apparent right away, they may take some time for you to flesh out. If

you’re having trouble, ask a few of your friends to list your strengths. Sometimes it’s

harder for us to see the things we’re good at than it is to see the things we’re not good

at. You must make conscious efforts to recognize your strengths – every single day.

The more you start focusing on your strengths instead of yourweaknesses, the more your strengths will grow and multiply.

2. Get to Really Know YourselfSometimes when you don’t love or trust yourself enough you start taking wrong turns

in life. You start living out the life that someone else constructed for you or that you

thought was what you “should” be doing and not what you were really put on this

earth to do. Too many wrong turns and it becomes really hard to find your way.

Stop yourself. Spend some time getting to know - you. What movies do you love?

What books keep you up all night? What conversations light you up with an inner

fire? What would you do if you had a whole month off from work and didn’t have to

worry about money?

Maybe you already have a topic your passionate about, but do you know how you want

to execute that passion? Do you want to teach it, write about it, paint it, give speeches

on it, etc.? Getting to really know yourself means both getting to know what you love

and how you love to do it. And all you need to do to get started, is to start doing

something you love and go from there.

Clarity will come with action.

I used to be so out of touch with who I am that I was in a maze of wrong turns, totally

lost and confused. I always describe my old life as trying to walk in someone else’s

shoes. Stiff plastic overly priced shoes that didn’t fit my bohemian, animal loving,

emotional Cancer, constantly in need of deep spiritual meaning self.

I had spent so much of my life not really understanding who I was that getting to the

self-awareness I have today took a lot of work – or a lot of “dating myself” as I like to

describe it. I started volunteering with animals, taking photography and Spanish

classes, horseback riding, reading self-growth books, etc. I knew there was a creative

spiritual bug in me that was just dying to come out but I had no clue what direction I

was supposed to go in. I didn’t have a lot of time, I was working crazy hours at my law

firm, but this was important to me so I found ways to fit things in.

Through this process I learned things about myself that I previously had no clue

about, things I loved. I found things that I was really good at without even having to

try and things that made me feel alive just by their very essence.

Sometimes the things you’re meant to do in life are easily missed. The things that

come so easily to you, without any stress or effort, are sometimes not given a second

thought. Life could never be that easy right? Maybe it can.

Think about what makes you you. What are you good at? What do people

compliment you on? Is it advice you give to friends? Pictures you take with your

camera for fun? Helping troubled children? Writing? Sewing? Cooking? Acting?

Teaching? Drawing?

Pay more attention to the things that come easily to you. Life doesn’t need to be so

hard. It’s okay to focus on things that are easy. What’s easy to you is impossible to

someone else. Stop forcing things that don’t fit, glide with the things that do. The

more you’re living your purpose the easier life will feel.

If you’re confused about what you should be doing, start dating yourself. Start slow

and see where it leads you. Seduce the areas of your life that have been quietly calling

out to you. Find the things that make you fall in love with simply being alive. Be

patient with yourself. You may not truly recognize your purpose until you’ve gone on

enough bad dates.

3. Claim Your Self-WorthYou need to believe in yourself in order to follow your dreams. If you only believe in

others, you’ll follow their dreams, not yours.

So what is self-worth? Why do we struggle with it so endlessly? Is one person ever

worth more than another? Who’s the ultimate measurer of self-worth? Who decides

that one person’s life is fabulously accomplished and another’s isn’t?

Do the masses determine self-worth? Our families? Our jobs? Maybe someone

whose acceptance you’ve been longing for but can never seem to achieve?

Don’t allow other people’s agenda or programming to define your worth. The greatest

hero can lurk in the quietest corner. The brightest star can shine for only one person.

Stop allowing yourself to question your self-worth. Just by being alive you are

priceless. And the more you value yourself, the more you’ll be able to give your gems

to the world.

No one is more beautiful than you are. No one is wiser than you are. No one is more

special than you are. We are all just different, finding our own ways in life, learning

the lessons we can along the way.

Too often we focus on our imperfections, so much so that they magnify and swallow

our strengths. We obsess over the things we can’t change (our bodies, our facial

features, our abilities in one area or another, the “wrong” choices we’ve made in life,

etc.) and give little credence to the things that are already perfect.

Embrace who you are. Wrap your arms around the beauty of your imperfect self and thank your imperfections for the many

lessons and nuggets of wisdom they’ve imparted upon you.

Who would you be without your imperfections? Without your wrong turns in life?

You’d be a far more boring version of your beautiful complex intricate self.

While you obsess over your imperfections or compare yourself to others there is

always someone, or many people, who are looking at you like you’re the most

interesting, fascinating and magical person they’ve ever set eyes on. If you could see

yourself through that person’s eyes, the eyes of your biggest fan, instead of your

biggest critic, what would you see? How would you look? How would you sound, feel,

smell, smile?

Be your biggest fan. Look at yourself through a new set of eyes. Find someone, even

just one person, who thinks you’re the cat’s meow and borrow their vision. Try to see

what they see. You’ll be amazed at how beautiful you are, even in your darkest

moments.

Love yourself today. Value yourself because you are invaluable. The gifts you have to offer the world are uniquely yours. The memories

you make with loved ones are irreplaceable. Love yourself more and you will give those gifts and create those memories more freely.

You have to choose to value your worth. Every relationship takes work. The one with

yourself takes the most work and it’s the most important. It’s the one you need to

work on first. Today. Now. And then you need to work on it every single day for the

rest of your life.

The more you start to recognize and embrace your self-worth, the more you’ll shine in your unique ways. Being a shining star is your

birthright, it’s up to you to define how, where and when you shine.

4. Surround Yourself with the Right PeopleTo find the life you’re meant to live, you need to believe in yourself. To believe in

yourself you need to become an active participant in choosing the people and feelings

you let into your sacred emotional space.

That’s right, your emotional space is sacred.

That means some people just gotta go – or they at least need to be held at a safe

emotional distance.

Your emotional well-being is invaluable and it deserves fierce protection. Don’t be so free to give control of it to others.

It’s yours and it’s not for the taking.

Surround yourself with positive supportive people. People who believe in you and

help you be a better, happier, more positive, and more fulfilled person. People who

challenge you to believe in yourself more. People who understand you and want your

dreams to come true.

Not everyone is going to understand you. Not everyone is going to make you feel

good. And sadly it sometimes just takes one person’s harsh judgment of you to make

you feel unworthy in every aspect. Our self-esteem is often the reflection of our worst

critic. It’s amazing how much power one person’s words can have.

Trust your emotional antennas. If someone or a group of people aren’t making you

feel good about yourself, find someone new to hang with, find a new group. Don’t try

to change yourself to fit anyone else, change your surroundings to fit you.

Leave space in your life for people who make you feel like you can soar, like you’re the

scent of lavender in the wind, the most comforting cup of tea, the person who blesses

their life with loving abundance. Surround yourself with these people. See yourself

through their eyes.

Believing in yourself is an internal and external process. You can’t fill yourself with love and confidence if you’re physically surrounded by negativity.

The same way you would protect yourself if you were physically threatened, you need

to protect your emotional safety. Find the people that make you feel whole and

cherish them. People who help you see your limitless abilities. People who help you

believe in yourself so you can achieve your dreams, not theirs. People who make you

feel like you can climb mountains.

You only have one life and it’s precious. You can choose who you decide to fill that life with and who you need to let go of, or at least

set boundaries with. You have more control than you think. You just have to recognize your control and believe that you’re worth it.

5. Accept Where & Who You Are TodayWhere you are today is perfect, it’s exactly where you are meant to be, at least for

today.

Who you are today is perfect, it’s exactly who you are meant to be, at least for today.

And if you change and grow, the person you’ll be tomorrow will be perfect as well.

Everything happens for a reason and everything is a lesson learned. Today will help

you reach where you want to be tomorrow. And when you get there tomorrow, you’ll

find new mountains to climb.

You do not need to know all the answers now. If you make mistakes along the way

and take some wrong turns, that’s okay. You can’t truly be found until you get a bit

lost.

Embrace each day and be present in every moment. There is no time for regrets. Life

is a beautiful journey and finding your purpose can be as fun and living it.

And once you find it you may find that it’s multifaceted, complex and beautiful, just

like you.

We’re all on journeys of self-discovery. Be gentle with yourself and enjoy every

minute.

To your awakened, limitless, abundant, purpose-driven life.

xoxo,Liz

Gentle Living . . . Gentle Living is a blog for the kind, caring and sensitive who are looking for inspiration, motivation, healing, support and encouragement. It’s for those with limitless potential but who sometimes need reminding of it. It’s for those who feel connected to the world around them, to people, to nature, to animals. It’s for those who see the power in being gentle to others, to animals, to our planet, to ourselves.

Our blogs and newsletters will inspire, relax, motivate and validate you. They’ll nourish your spiritual side, motivate your healthy habits, and spark your inner power.

Gentle Living embraces everything involved in living a gentle but powerful life. From self-love & acceptance, to animal welfare, to travel, to interviews with inspiring women, and more, it’s all gentle; not weak, just gentle. Being gentle is sometimes the most powerful thing you can do for yourself and the world around you.

Services . . .Confidence Coaching Services:

Almost all of our actions and outcomes in life are a direct result of how much we believe in ourselves. I offer coaching services for anyone who's struggling with self-esteem issues in their relationships, career, or other life choices.

Click here to view my coaching packages and learn more.

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Travel Services:Before launching Gentle Living in December 2011, I ran a travel company for animal lovers called Your Time Travels (YTT). YTT is now the travel department of Gentle Living. I believe that tourism should be used as a tool for animal welfare, not as a weapon against it. One of the best ways to learn about animals is seeing them in the wild, living as nature intended. We currently sell African safaris where you can do just that. We also sell voluntourism trips to Thailand that include volunteering at an elephant sanctuary.

Click here for more details.

M e . . .I’m Liz. I’m a sensitive Cancer, a recovering lawyer, a self-growth junkie, an animal lover, a confidence coach, a traveler, a writer…

I believe people should treat themselves better, treat others better, and be kinder to animals and our planet. We’re all connected and our lives have a deeper meaning than some of the day to day things that preoccupy us.

I am a champion of the underdog and a believer in giving a voice to the voiceless, human and animal alike. I am highly sensitive and a bit of an emotional savant, I see the world in colors of emotion. I see people’s essence and potential.

I used to believe in stress and overwhelm, trading money for misery, and working to please only others. Now I believe in doing what comes naturally, what’s creative, what brings the most joy, and what does the

most good.

I love writing to inspire others to be kinder to themselves and the world around them. Selfishness, greed, ego, apathy and disregard are old-paradigm thinking. We’re all meant to be loved and respected and to thrive. I believe that we should all use our unique strengths to contribute to the world. I believe that small consistent actions can have big impacts.

Join me on Facebook and Twitter! You can also find me on Instagram!