Dallas based Arts, Krafts, Cats, & Everything Else magazine

March 2009 peachio.com/buttmag

bringing new life to lonely toys Rory’s Story

BUTT

in this issue

Rory gets stuck in a tree and must be rescued!

Cover StoryThe Art of ToysLearn how to turn your scary or cute animal figurines into necklaces or digital patterns.

Crafts

Cats

Phenomenon

07

Message From The Editor

I am berry pleased to release the first issue of B.U.T.T. Magazine online!

The most uninteresting and tasteless magazine you will ever come to read. This

magazine stemmed from an idea I had several years ago to create a place to share

happenings in my life and tell stories. My magazine idea suddenly became too over-

whelming and I never quite finished or put it together to be printed. I decided to try a

different approach and make an online magazine instead.

I must note that it has taken me quite some time to finally get everyhing together. For

this reason, this edition (my first edition) which should have been released last year in

Feb. 2009 is finally being released over a year later. Portions of this magazine will be

slightly out of date. I hope to release another edition by the end of the year or early

next year which will hopefully be more organized.

You can download this magazine through my website at:

peachio.com/buttmag Thank you for reading!

Founder

Peachio

E-Mail:

crajeemuna@gmail.com

Myspace:

myspace.com/peachio

Facebook:

I don’t know my URL

but most of you already know

how to reach me on there.

Special thanks to Lolo for writing

about the X-Men Dvd’s in News Bits

R.I.P. Mulder “Muna Guna” Gomez This magazine is dedicated to my one and only Muna.

Features01 Story of Rory

One cat’s crazy tree adventure and rescue.

05 Kreepshow Featuring .virus.

06 Terrible Treats Toxic Cupcakes

13 Pooptone Pooptone’s tribute.

15 The Critters Encounters with interesting and scary creatures.

18 News Bits Past-due News March 2009 Edition

BUTT Brutally Uninteresting.TotallyTasteless.

The Story of Rory

One cats journey in a tree.

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30 | Art Atakk

It was an ordinary day, or so I thought. As I tended to my cats outside I heard a loud meow. Right away I knew the meow came from Rory, my sister Dee’s

cat. I called out for Rory and he did not come. I suspected something was wrong because normally he comes running right away. I couldn’t directly run to the source of the meow as one might imagine. Our street is under construction and our back gate was locked so I had to race to the front door to even cross the street. I traced the meow to the old Juvenile Hall building across the street. As I ap-proached, the meow did not grow louder because no matter where I was standing the meoww was the same. I started to think Rory had a small cat microphone with him that he was using the whole time. I looked around for Rory but did not find him. Finally I looked up and saw him in a tree, standing on one of the branches. I yelled to Rory to come down but he only rubbed his head all over the branch and continued to meow. I told Rory to hold on while I went to go grab a board that I could lean against the tree so that he could slide down. The board was not very effective. After about 30 minutes had passed and me pleading with Rory to come down, my dad came to assist in the rescue efforts. He brought over this long stick that he used to poke Rory with. On the opposite side of the stick was what appeared to be a small scythe. He was hoping that he could push Rory on a thinner branch and then once he was there he would cut the branch off and Rory would drop down. Clearly this did not work.

My dad and I were growing tired and weak. We finally decided we needed to bring the ladder, which we had all along. We were both too lazy to bring it. I ran and grabbed my camera on the way to getting the lad-der to snap some pictures of Rory’s adventure to share with my sister when she got home. I was sure she wouldn’t believe me. Finally my dad helped me get the ladder into position and my worst dreams were realized at that point. I was going to have to climb the ladder because my dad hates cats. I knew it was going to be up to me to save Rory. I nervously climbed up the ladder and was able to reach Rory. I grabbed him and we fought for a brief moment and finally he was safely in my arms. Moments later, I extended my arm as far as I could to drop him down while I climbed down this ghetto ladder. The best part about the day was that Rory walked me back to the house and helped me cross the street. He is doing just fine now but wants to buy a small jumpsuit in case anything like that happens again.

“I started to think Rory had a small cat microphone with him that he was using the whole time. “

Cats do scream.

Cats will use cat micro-phones to send distress signals.

Cats will then hide these microphones under-neath their coats.C

at F

acts

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The giant tree Rory was stuck in.

Safe at last!What better meal could Rory have than cat-food and rocks.

My sister recently bought vanilla cake mix and strawberry icing to bake a cake. I decided to make cupcakes since we did not have a cake pan. I made about 24 cupcakes total. I was pleasantly surprised to find one of my cup-cakes grew its own DNA molecules while baking in the oven to form itself into a tongue. I was surprised that I mixed the correct amount of ingredients into the vanilla batter to make the hue of a ripe tongue.

Zombie Cupcake

Always use Halloween cups when baking cupcakes for best results.

Now you can take part in monster DNA Replication and bake at the same time!

During this still shot of Virus (Becca), her eyelid fought with itself in a struggle to be open and closed at the same time. The result was a seductive picture which resembles Becca in mutant form. The exact cause of this oddity can not be explained.

After conducting several unsuccessful tests using my own eyes to produce this same picture, I have concluded that Becca’s eyelids are detachable prosthetics.

The eyelids became detached from her bone structure and in the moment that this picture was taken they were in the process of falling off completely. I have advised Becca about Aleene’s Clear Gel Tacky Glue which costs $1.89 at Walmart. I instructed her to place a fair amount of this where her eyelids are to be placed and lay down while she allows the glue to dry.

This picture was sent to me a few days later from an unknown transmission. The signal did not appear to be of human origin.

After several weeks of decoding the origins of the image, I have determined this picture was sent to me from the Atlantic Ocean.

Becca may have been abducted by an Unidentified Sub-merged Object which has used the energy of the Earth to suck Becca from her home to inside this submersible to live with her own species. This picture indicates the freeze of time in space where Becca’s body stood still on land and the moment it will flow with the water.

Mix an unknown amount of non-alcohol-ic strawberry drink mix (for alcoholic bever-ages) into already mixed vanilla cake mix.

Add an unknown amount of burgandy food coloring.

Add an unknown amount of red food coloring.

Add an unknown amount of orange food coloring.

Poor batter into cupcake cup (already inserted in pan). Drape a scoop of batter over the edge (only 1 side!)

Bake and discard. DO NOT EAT.

KREEPSHOWSTUDY 1

CONCLUSION: MYSTERY SOLVED AND REMEDIED.

CONCLUSION: MYSTERY EXPLAINED.

STUDY 2

Demented Decorations In DetailLiving and Nonliving

Subject: Becca’s alien eyes.

Do you have your own X-File that you wish to expose? Please get in touch with us.

terribletreatsHOW NOT TO MAKE CUPCAKES: The making of a Tongue Cupcake

Human Cupcakes?

HERE’S HOW I DID IT:

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The best way to play with a toy

dinosaur is to wear it. BUTT | 20

I didn’t realize I could turn almost any small animal figu-rine in a necklace until I was 24 years old. At least I found out now before I turned 25 in May.

Last year when I came back from one of my trips with Lolo down to San Antonio my sister Dee surprised us each with an animal necklace attached on a hemp string with a couple of pony beads on it. She bought them for us from a lady in Oklahoma. My necklaces had a Rhino and Lolo’s a tiger. It wasn’t until the following year that I actually went to look

cutescary

dangerous

for the supplies that I needed to make my own animal necklaces. I collect small animal figurines so I thought it would be easy to get started. I had no idea it would take me weeks to finally get started. I’m going to explain the most cost effective way to build these cute necklaces and tips on how to do it.

These necklaces can be worn by girls and boys. Any small toy can be used but preferably those toys that are very strong gummy-like plastic. If the toy is hard plastic they won’t work with this particular method.

Collect the following materials

and lets get started!

Materials Strong plastic animal figurines Colored Bead Cord, String or Yarn

Pony Beads

Eye Hooks (Extra Small)

Tools: Awl & Hammer

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Start with locating the fish eye hooks. It was hard to explain what I was looking for at first until I learned what these little hooks were called. I described them as “cup hooks but its a full loop”. Strange how people actu-ally understood me. After visiting JoAnn’s and discovering they did not have the kind of hooks I was looking for I went to Home Depot. Here I found the fish eye hooks I had been wanting. Although they were not as small as I wanted them, they will work. I bought three packages. The next step is finding the animal figurine you want to use. With an awl, punch a hole through

the top of the figurine. Center the hole as best as you can. Push the awl in deep but don’t let it come out of the opposite side of the animal. Wiggle and jab the awl into the ani-mal and try to make the hole stay open. If the figurine is hard gummy plastic, it will close up fast. The following steps will explain how to push the hook through. This part will be challeng-ing. Take the fish eye and push it through with your fingers. Once you get it semi-stuck in the hole, use a hammer to mash it down. You may have to beat it a few times before it finally goes through. Be careful not to smash your finger as you’re holding the fish eye hook.

It will be tricky but may take some time to get the hook in place. With the hook firmly in the animal, string your favorite colored string through along with a few col-orful pony beads on each side. The necklace is now ready to wear!

COST:Fish Eye Hooks .99 x 8 hooksUpdate: I have found smaller hooks at Elliot’s Hardware for .08 each! They have all different sizes.

Animals 1.00 at $1 Store or get them from your nephews(free) or Pizza places as prizes

Bead String $2 - $4

NECKLACES PATTERNS

Creating patterns is easy!

Before we begin here are the tools you will need.

Tools Plastic animal figurines Camera

Photoshop (or other photo editing program)

The key to creating your own pat-terns is to think in terms of what you like. If you could create any pattern you want, what would it be? With a few simple tools you can make your own patterns ex-actly how you dreamed of.

Start with taking the picture of the object you want to make into a pat-tern. In this case, a toy dinosaur. Try to get a good focus on the object and take it against a single colored background (pictured above).

In Photoshop use the pen tool (circled below) to cut out the dino-saur. Once you trace the dinosaur, click the “Path” tab on the “Layers” menu. Click “Make Selection”. It will then select the dinosaur in the exact shape you cut out. Go to Edit>Cut. Fill the background color with white and paste the dinosaur back on. Manipulate the shape, size and quantity. Change the colors and the color of the back-ground if you wish. Once you have an image such as the one pictured to the left, you can then save it. Now you’re ready to tile it onto any webpage or any other design. To tile backgrounds in Photoshop simply select your image and go to Edit>Define Pattern. You can then fill using the paint bucket tool by selecting pattern instead of fore-ground and selecting your pattern.Enjoy!

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CONSIDER OPTIONS: When stringing bead string, braid 3 colors together to form a different type of string. Also try using different types of string such as wax coated string, hemp, yarn, or durable cloth bead cord is a good idea. Try combining different strings together for a unique new look.

[1]: Once a fish eye hook is firmly in place it won’t be coming out.

[2]: This is what an awl looks like. Here, it is stabbed into the head of a baby octopus.

HOOKS: These are called fish eye hooks and can be bought at most local hardware stores.

bEADS: Any type of beads may be used including real human teeth.

FINSHED RESULT: A figure with an awl pushed firmly in place.

USING THE AWL: Jab the awl into a spot that will balance the necklace out most, as pictured here.

TIP: Photograph figures on a white background for easy editing!

NECKLACES PART II NECKLACES PART I I (...continued)

Painting I regret to say it has been several months (maybe even a year since I wrote the previous section to this weird ass tutorial (that I have never released). Since then, I’ve come up with new ideas for making these necklaces, including painting them which has been fun, however berry time consuming. I hope you find a portion of this fun or useful.

Paint ChoicesPainting is fun, but painting little toys is not as fun as it seems. The best method I found when painting is to paint one side, let it dry, and then paint the other. Al-though, I have been found to paint everything at once and later touch up the spots that I’ve messed up. Let’s talk about color! - Paints

What is gouche?Gouche is a thick, opaque paint. It’s creamy and goes on solid. A little goes a long way, but when mixed with more water, they can become just as translucent as watercolors. They’re fabulous. The only downfall is that they are extremely expensive. Other than the ones I’ve bought for school, I would try ebay for people selling Winsor & Newton gouche. I use gouche because the colors are vibrant as heck. They coat the animal per-fectly. I recommend these, but if you don’t have access to these type of paints, don’t fret! I’ve got more choices for you that work wonderfully!

AbOVE: This elephant has been primered and painted with gouche. After drying, a coat of polyurethane should be added to seal in the color and add a sexy shine.

AbOVE: A turtle ready to be painted (already primered with inserted hook).

TIP: Even if your gouche dries up in the tube, it can still be used by cutting the tube in half and using water to bring out the paint. They’ll work more like watercolors if you do this.

What are acrylics?Acrylics are paints that are great for many things. The paint is thick, goes on smooth, and is cheap! It’s an all around wonderful paint that you can use to paint these animals with. The only problem is that it stains (the stains don’t come off) and it dries fast. If you mess up, however, you can always

apply another coat of paint to con-ceal any flaws. They also come in a variety of colors which is fantas-tic. One downfall to acrylics is that the paint is plastic-like. It has more of a potential to peel. Despite that, I do recommend this type of paint. They can run you from as little as .50 cents up to who knows how much. I recommend Liquitex sim-ply because it is concentrated and has the richest color I’ve ever seen in Acrylic paints. I could be wrong though, because I’m not really a paint person.

SpraypaintsSpraypaints are another great way to paint these. However, in order to apply cool effects, it is neces-sary to let each of your coats dry before applying another color. This could be berry time consuming, but you could experiment with many different textures with spraypaints. You can even do a base coat of gouche or acrylic, with metallic or fluorescent spray paint droplets as a top coat.

PolyurethanePolyurethane is expensive, but serves a great purpose. It pro-vides you with a shiny top coat on anything. It has many uses. I also use it to paint over shelves or picture frames after I’ve given them a facelift. It is important to understand that since these are plastic animals, they do bend. The Polyurethane will protect the paint from coming off and cracking from normal usage, however if you bend or smash the toy inbetween two trucks, it will peel or crack off. It also reeks and will give you head-aches if you use it too much, so I recommend using it OUTDOORS at all times. Now, covering these figures with a clear coat sounds easy, but it’s actually not as simple as it may seem. It took many tries to get it just right.

ELEPHANT NECKLACES: Cost for elephants .25 cents each. String $2. Embriodery thread: (Free from my Ma). Total cost: About .50 cents to make a necklace, not including other paint and tools.

Dipping and Drying This is somewhat of a long pro-cess, but it will ensure your animal doesn’t get messed up during the drying process.

What you’ll need: Clothes pins, a small piece of weed-eater string, a tree branch. To completely cover the animal with polyurethane, after painting insert a piece of weed-eater string into the hook which should already have been in place (See Part I). Holding the two ends, dip the entire animal into the Polyurethane can. Dip two-three times. Find a branch that is not touching any-thing, and hang the string up using a clothespin. The animal should be dangling freely in the wind. It will

dry perfectly, but takes up to a full day or longer to completely dry.

GORILLA: Before and After. Panther below in moco green.

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Art Atakk|30

This section is a tribute to my cat Two-Tone. We call her Pooptone or Coochtone. She’s always there to pet and make me feel better or watch movies with. I love her because she is so warm and she always lays near my head when I’m sleep-ing. I know she is near when I smell corn nuts.

the art of cats

Featuring Pooptonealso known as Poopie, Poopess, Poopae, Miss Pooptone, Missa Poopesshe, Coochtone, Tonie, and Miss Pooptonie

Pooptone moments before she began work on her self-portrait.

Pooptone after rehab. She was hooked on hot cheetos for awhile.

Pooptone being rude. She’s rarely like this. She wanted me to tell you that.

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Critters have existed in our world long before man. Critters are living creatures who can either jump, move fast, fly, slither, or do surprise attacks by flying on your clothing or skin. These surprise attacks are usually so quick, you don't understand what's happening until you feel the thump of a critter landing and within seconds your heart begins to tremble.

Naturally, critters are just something you never want to touch. The sighting of a critter can have many effects, all of which are natural reactions that are often times coupled with grotesque gasps and terrifying screams (me). Being terrified

Huge Dragonfly (aka Eternity Dragonfly) Location: On the house

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I was raking leaves when I ran into this huge ass brown dragonfly. When I saw it, I was so close to it that I let out a mortifying gasp. I have never seen a dragonfly this big before so it scared me. I ran inside to grab the camera (or where ever it was) and was able to get some glamour shots of this fine creature. I was scared to get close but it didn't seem to be mov-ing at all so I got as close as I was comfortable with. If that thing flew I would have dropped the camera from fright. It was incredible to get that close and see what a dragonfly truly looks like with my own eyes.

of critters is normal as well as hitting people by accident trying to flee from them (Becca). These are just some of the common reactions you can come to expect when you see a critter.

This article hopes to take you places you have never been and places you hope to never go. I will share some of the critters I discovered at my boyfriend's house in a single day. The following creatures were sighted at varying times through-out the day.

Sept. 26, 2009

Yellow and Black MothLocation: On the drive-way somewhere

I saw this little guy by accident. This time I was picking up leaves and I saw this beautiful green and red leaf (pictured). When I came back I took a picture of the leaf, set it aside, and continued picking up leaves. I saw a dot of yellow amongst the leaves and it was this moth. The yellow was so rich, but it didn't capture well at all. :( I threw the leaf I found earlier down near the moth to get a picture with both. How stale! I've never seen a moth that color before, so it was pretty neat. It's so cute because it even has a small moth weave.

Three Guinea HensLocation: On the street directly in front of the house (emerged from the backyard!)

I know about Guinea Hens from some illustra-tions I did awhile ago. I knew these lived two houses down the street because I hear them all the time and I've seen them. This is what actually prompted me to go get the camera. By the time I came back they were already on their way back home. Although they are technically not critters, they could be in an alternate realm (aka my mind - which they are).

Green Leaf MantisLocation: On a bush that I was cutting!

Here I was cutting the bushes on the side of the house and something flew at me. I screamed and jumped around and couldn't tell what it was but the way it moved, I thought it was a huge ass grasshopper. When I couldn't find it, I was worried because big grasshoppers scare me. When I saw that it was actually a walking leaf, I was astonished! By this time I had the camera hanging near the front door, so I ran to grab it and came back and couldn't find it. It camouflages itself well. A minute or two later, I found it and snapped a few pics. This is definitely an incredible creature. Doing some research online with Los, we discovered that there are many creatures who have evolved to look like leaves. Leafy critters are rather intoxicating and I've found myself to be quite obsessed with them now.

Encounters with Tiny beasts

17 | BUTT

Medium-Sized FrogLocation: Near the drive-way and neighbor's

This frog was so cute, but it was too dark that it was really only visible under the moonlight. It jumped fast! I barely made it in to grab the camera to take a picture of this badboy. Out of all the critters, this was the cutest. Sorry the image is blurry. Taking a picture of a moving frog at night is harder than it sounds.

"Helm" BeetleLocation: Garage

I was making paper mache in the kitchen when Los yelled at me to come quick. He knew I had been taking pictures of bugs all day so when he spotted this beetle I was slightly disgusted and repulsed. Luckily, it was in the garage! It slightly mortified me for some reason, I think because of it's hugeness.

"Baby" Doom ScorpionLocation: THE GARAGE.

I wish I knew why scorpions have decided to make appearances here. This is the second scorpion I've seen.

I can't even begin to describe my fears when I see a scorpion. I can’t help but shutter when I see them because I think they are going to inject venom into me. I don’t want to be eaten in the form of a cocoon that the scorpion will entomb me in.

I actually saw this scorpion the next night. All of the other creatures were seen on the same day. I was simply horrified yet I decided to take pictures. I didn't kill it because I felt sad that I accidentally stepped on the first scorpion I'd seen. Next time I see a scorpion, I will simply flee.

Sighted: Sept. 27, 2009

Matlock Season 2bY PEACH

I’ve been waiting for the second season of Matlock and I’m hap-py to announce it was recently released this year. Although I haven’t seen it yet, Lolo has bought it for me for Valentine’s! He surprised me when he acci-dently showed me the cover and I was so happy. I wasn’t sure if they were going to release any more seasons, so I was berry eggcited. I can’t wait to watch the complete first season again and then watch the second one as soon as we get together!

Dee’s New Ride!bY PEACH

My sister recently bought a new car! It’s a Ford Fusion with every-thing in it. I love it! We still miss her old Kia though. It feels differ-ent but we are very blessed that she could get a new awesome car. GO DEE!

News Bits > Edition 1, March 2009By Peach Gomez & Lolo Deleon

X-Men the 1992-Animated series that aired on Fox Kids is coming out on April 28, 2009! It is one of the most requested TV show’s that has not been released onto DVD.

Characters:WolverineRogueStormCyclopsBeastGambitJubileeJean GreyProfessor X

X-Men Vol. 1 coming to DVD in 2009bY LOLO

X-Men, Volume 1 X-Men, Volume 2

submitHave news to share? Want to talk about something special? E-mail me to include your news! crajeemuna@gmail.com

BE-HE-HEE-HEE-HEHE-HEEE...

In actuality, this is old news. It was supposed to be released in March of this year, but I never got around to it. A newer edition will be released in the next issue of bUTT Magazine.

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