bullying--a view from both sides

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Bullying: A View Bullying: A View from Both Sides from Both Sides Sponsored by CounterAction.Org Sponsored by CounterAction.Org Dr. Angeline Stuckey Dr. Angeline Stuckey

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January 19, 2012 - Workshop presented at Indian Springs Elementary for Parent University; Facilitator: Dr. Angeline Stuckey, CounterAction.Org

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Page 1: Bullying--A View From Both Sides

Bullying: A View from Bullying: A View from Both SidesBoth Sides

Bullying: A View from Bullying: A View from Both SidesBoth Sides

Sponsored by CounterAction.OrgSponsored by CounterAction.Org

Dr. Angeline StuckeyDr. Angeline Stuckey

Page 2: Bullying--A View From Both Sides

In this Workshop

1. Define bullying, language of bulling

2. A perspective from both sides3. Research based definition4. Possible causes and

consequences5. Course of actions and solutions

Page 3: Bullying--A View From Both Sides

What is Bullying?

Give your definition of bullying.

Page 4: Bullying--A View From Both Sides

A View from both sides involves

Children who are bullying and those who are bullied and those who are

both at various time periods

Page 5: Bullying--A View From Both Sides

Research Based Definition

Repeated and Continuous…• Physical violence and/or verbal abuse

(tease, gossip, social exclusion, obscene gestures) attacks resulting in physical pain and bruising, feelings of anger/rage, intimidation

(fear/anxiety) and worry.

Repeated/continuous aggressive attacks

Page 6: Bullying--A View From Both Sides

Bullying; Behavior or Identity

The language of bullyingBeing bulliedShe is a bully

Acting like a bullyHe is being bullied

Involved with bullyingShe is a victim of bullying

How should we talk about bullying?

Page 7: Bullying--A View From Both Sides

Causes for Both Sides…

1.

2.

Write one thing that might cause each side of it.

Page 8: Bullying--A View From Both Sides

Being BulliedStress and Fear and Anxiety

Headaches, stomach pains, irritability, and

a disinterest in toys and games, low energy,

day- dreaming, fearful, nervous in general

Stress-induced; divorce, separation, death,

developmental periods, unwanted changes

Page 9: Bullying--A View From Both Sides

Doing the Bullying

Anger-hostile behaviorsPhysical fights, repeated arguments with adults, loss of temper, anger and resentment, placing blame on others

Stress-induced; divorce, separation, death,

developmental periods, unwanted changes

Page 10: Bullying--A View From Both Sides

Does my child have this issue?

• Classroom• Gym• Lunchroom• Playground

• Home• YMCA• Church• Web

Multiple environments

Page 11: Bullying--A View From Both Sides

Look and Listen For…

• Peer rejection (not even one friend)• Poor grades in favorite subjects• Aggressive social strategies (hollering,

hitting, throwing things, pushing, naming–calling, etc.)

• Symptoms of poor mental health [extreme stress (worry, negative anticipation), sadness, fear, anger, panic, day-dreaming, hostility, disagreeable

Page 12: Bullying--A View From Both Sides

Write what you might do if suspect bullying

(group)

I might

Page 13: Bullying--A View From Both Sides

Suspected of doing bullying (group)

I might

Page 14: Bullying--A View From Both Sides

First…• Relax, think and brainstorm• Seek teacher’s advice and help• Write down a stepwise plan of

action• Take the actions planned • List outcomes wanted• Monitor results/revise plan• Expect good results (outcomes)

Page 15: Bullying--A View From Both Sides

What Parents (teachers) Do?

Teach…• Social Skills (verbal skills)• Friendship Dynamics (friend/foe?)• Leadership Skills (helping strategies)• Social Values (school, home,

community)• Emotional Recognition/Regulation• Self Esteem and Self Worth

Page 16: Bullying--A View From Both Sides

Social Skills (verbal habits)

Be seen and heard…Excuse me, Thank you, Please,

May I have that? Can I talk to you? Please don’t do that to me! I don’tlike that. Teach kids to be expressive

Page 17: Bullying--A View From Both Sides

Friendship Dynamics (friend/foe?)

• Is kind to me• Cares about my feelings• Show an interest in my stuff• Compliments me when I am good• Stands close to me a lot• Like to play with me

Page 18: Bullying--A View From Both Sides

Leadership Skills (helping verbal

techniques)

Can I help you do that? Can I try it too? May I show you how to do this.

Let them help a lot at home, so they will

be used to helping

Page 19: Bullying--A View From Both Sides

Social Values (school, home,

community)

• Speak well of people in general• Difference in being/doing• Look for the good in others and

expect to be treated well by others

Page 20: Bullying--A View From Both Sides

Emotional Recognition/Regulatio

n

Fear, anger, sad, happy

Teach about feelings and how to manage feelings by thinking

things through before acting

Page 21: Bullying--A View From Both Sides

Identity Development

ArtistSingerSwimmerDancerBikerSkaterBowler

ACT: List other titles1. Cookie cook helper

2.

3.

4.

5.

Page 22: Bullying--A View From Both Sides

Self Esteem/Worth1. Set achievement goals for maturity• Intellectual (book reading, grades)• Physical (sports participation)• Emotional/spiritual/social (show caring)

2. Identity Development (you are a good…)http://store.samhsa.gov/home, upload Self Esteem Building Guide (use with the kids) (http://store.samhsa.gov/shin/content//SMA-3715/SMA-3715.pdf)

Page 23: Bullying--A View From Both Sides

References and Citations

• Bradshaw, C. P., et., (2007)• Espelage, D. & Swearer, S. M. (2003)• Pellegrini, A. D. & Long, J. D. (2002)• Stop Bullying. Govhttp://www.stopbullying.gov/index.html• National Mental Health Information

Center (upload self esteem building guide to use with the kids)

http://tinyurl.com/brddzq

Page 24: Bullying--A View From Both Sides

Visit CounterAction.Org• http://www.counteraction.us • Contact Dr. Angeline Stuckey

[email protected]

Page 25: Bullying--A View From Both Sides

Questions?

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.