building relationships of trust r. blair condie, aavp byu human resource services byu controllers’...

Building Building Relationships of Relationships of

TrustTrustR. Blair Condie, AAVPR. Blair Condie, AAVP

BYU Human Resource ServicesBYU Human Resource Services

BYU Controllers’ Retreat, Oct. 22, 2002BYU Controllers’ Retreat, Oct. 22, 2002

TRUST:TRUST:

Firm reliance on the Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or integrity, ability, or

character of a person or character of a person or thing.thing.

Why are trusting Why are trusting relationships so relationships so important in the important in the

workplace?workplace?

85% of problems in 85% of problems in the workplace are due the workplace are due

to interpersonal to interpersonal problems, rather than problems, rather than lack of technical skill.lack of technical skill.

““The connections we make are what pull us The connections we make are what pull us through hard times and give meaning to the through hard times and give meaning to the good. Simply put, we need one another. We good. Simply put, we need one another. We need connections that matter, connections that need connections that matter, connections that are heartfelt. We need to connect--or are heartfelt. We need to connect--or reconnect--to our friends, our families, our reconnect--to our friends, our families, our neighbors, ourneighbors, our communities. We also need to communities. We also need to connect--or reconnect---to our pasts, our connect--or reconnect---to our pasts, our traditions, and our ideals.”traditions, and our ideals.”

ConnectingConnecting

Edward M. Hallowell, M. D., Connect, 1999

““A human moment occurs anytime two A human moment occurs anytime two or more people are together, paying or more people are together, paying attention to one another. These attention to one another. These connections are the key to what counts connections are the key to what counts in life, from a happy family to a in life, from a happy family to a successful business to a sense of inner successful business to a sense of inner peace, even to physical health and peace, even to physical health and longevity.”longevity.”

Human MomentsHuman Moments

Edward M. Hallowell, M. D., Connect, 1999

“We are not here necessarily to run computers. All of those things are simply ancillary to the great mission we have of teaching the gospel to every nation, kindred tongue

and people and bearing witness of the divinity of the restoration of His Church in the dispensation of the fullness of the times.”

.

President Gordon B. Hinckley, Insights & Perspectives, March 1996

EMOTIONAL EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE INTELLIGENCE

Daniel Goleman, Working with Emotional Intelligence, 1998

Emotional Competence Emotional Competence Results in Outstanding Results in Outstanding Performance at WorkPerformance at Work


Emotional CompetenceEmotional Competence

For star performance in all jobs, in For star performance in all jobs, in every field, emotional competence every field, emotional competence

is twice as important as purely is twice as important as purely cognitive abilities.cognitive abilities.


THREE MOST DESIRED THREE MOST DESIRED CAPABILITIES OFCAPABILITIES OF EMPLOYEESEMPLOYEES::

• Communication SkillsCommunication Skills

• Interpersonal SkillsInterpersonal Skills

• InitiativeInitiative


Good Communicators:Good Communicators:

• Are effective in give-and-take, registering Are effective in give-and-take, registering emotional cues in attuning their messageemotional cues in attuning their message

• Deal with difficult issues straightforwardlyDeal with difficult issues straightforwardly• Listen well, seek mutual understanding, and Listen well, seek mutual understanding, and

welcome sharing of information fullywelcome sharing of information fully• Foster open communication and stay Foster open communication and stay

receptive to bad news as well as goodreceptive to bad news as well as good


The most effective people in The most effective people in organizations naturally use their organizations naturally use their

emotional radar to sense how others emotional radar to sense how others are reacting, and they fine-tune their are reacting, and they fine-tune their own response to push the interaction own response to push the interaction

in the best direction.in the best direction.Daniel Goleman, Working with Emotional Intelligence, 1998

Interpersonal SkillsInterpersonal Skills

Those with initiative act before Those with initiative act before being forced to by external events.being forced to by external events.

Those who lack initiative constantly Those who lack initiative constantly reactreact to events rather than being to events rather than being

prepared for them.prepared for them.


InitiativeInitiative

What’s Below the Waterline Makes the What’s Below the Waterline Makes the Difference in Performance!Difference in Performance!

Necessary for top performance, but not sufficient

Underlying behaviors of characteristics more critical to “fit,” satisfaction and success

Technical Competencies: Easier to identify and develop

Behavioral Competencies: Harder to identify and develop

Skills (e.g.,

presentation delivery)

Knowledge (e.g., MS-Excel)

Social Role (e.g., Leader)

Self-Concept (e.g., I am a Team Player)

Traits (e.g., Analytical

Thinking)

Motives (e.g., Drive to

Achieve) “Promoting the Power and Potential of People.” Sinclair Community College. Dayton, OH. CUPA

Conference, 2002.

Star Performers Star Performers and the Nine and the Nine

Work StrategiesWork Strategies

Robert E. Kelley, How to Be a Star at Work-9 Breakthrough Strategies You Need to Succeed, 1999

Show-and-TellShow-and-Tell

Perspective*Perspective*

Self-ManagementSelf-Management

CoreCore Initiative*Initiative*

Cognitive AbilitiesCognitive AbilitiesTechnical CompetenceTechnical Competence

LeaderLeader-ship-ship

Team-Team-WorkWork

Networking*Networking*

FollowershipFollowership

Organizational SavvyOrganizational Savvy

Robert E. Kelley, How to Be a Star at

Work-9 Breakthrough

Strategies You Need to Succeed, 1999


1.1. Manage the “white space.” Seek out Manage the “white space.” Seek out responsibility above and beyond the responsibility above and beyond the expected job description. expected job description.

2.2. Undertake extra efforts for the benefit of Undertake extra efforts for the benefit of coworkers or the larger group.coworkers or the larger group.

3.3. Follow-through to completion (don’t Follow-through to completion (don’t delegate to the boss).delegate to the boss).


Many Work Hard but Many Work Hard but in the Wrong Waysin the Wrong Ways



PerspectivePerspective

For too many people, ten years ofFor too many people, ten years ofwork experience is merely the firstwork experience is merely the firstyear’s experience repeated ten times;year’s experience repeated ten times;there is no learning to move in and outthere is no learning to move in and outof the basic environment, no leap toof the basic environment, no leap tothe perspective ability that definesthe perspective ability that definesexpertise.expertise.



You need to learn You need to learn 50,000 pieces of 50,000 pieces of information to be information to be come an expertcome an expert



• Seek out learning experiences Seek out learning experiences that push your limits of that push your limits of knowledgeknowledge

• Make sure you learn from it by Make sure you learn from it by internalizing patterns and formsinternalizing patterns and forms


NetworkingNetworking

Networking can have Networking can have dramatic impact on the dramatic impact on the speed, quality, and speed, quality, and quantity of your output.quantity of your output.


NetworkingNetworking


Build a knowledge network—a Build a knowledge network—a relationship tree of many different relationship tree of many different kinds of people representing many kinds of people representing many different skills and interests.different skills and interests.

The Bonds The Bonds That Make That Make

Us FreeUs FreeC. Terry WarnerC. Terry Warner

We all have a sense of the We all have a sense of the “two ways of being” and “two ways of being” and the differences between the differences between

them…them…

C. Terry Warner, The Bonds That Make Us Free

“Two Ways of Two Ways of Being”Being”

I-ItI-It• Worried about selfWorried about self• Scarcity-mindedScarcity-minded• Resents others’ successResents others’ success• InsecureInsecure• Sees others as rivalsSees others as rivals • ControllingControlling

I-YouI-You• Interested in othersInterested in others• Abundance-mindedAbundance-minded• Delights in others’ successDelights in others’ success• Secure, peacefulSecure, peaceful• Sees others as friendsSees others as friends• TrustingTrusting


Two Ways of Being…Two Ways of Being…I-It and I-YouI-It and I-You

I-ItI-It• ManipulativeManipulative• Concerned with Concerned with

quantityquantity• SelfishSelfish• LonelyLonely• ReactiveReactive• GuardedGuarded

I-YouI-You• SincereSincere• Concerned with Concerned with

qualityquality• SharingSharing• SupportiveSupportive• SolicitousSolicitous• OpenOpen



I-ItI-It• AnxiousAnxious• SuspiciousSuspicious• FearfulFearful• RigidRigid• Self-centeredSelf-centered• DefensiveDefensive

I-YouI-You• AssuredAssured• TrustingTrusting• SereneSerene• FlexibleFlexible• Other-centeredOther-centered• AccommodatingAccommodating



Self-BetrayalSelf-Betrayal


““The following chart The following chart illustrates the perfect illustrates the perfect correlation between correlation between

various commonplace various commonplace accusations that self-accusations that self-

betrayers make and the betrayers make and the resulting sense they have resulting sense they have

of being victimized:”of being victimized:”C. Terry Warner, The Bonds That Make Us Free

Accusing Accusing JudgmentJudgment


“It’s your fault”

“You’re not being fair”

“Our suppliers are unreliable”

“The instructions weren’t clear”

“You insisted on having this kid”

Sense of Being Sense of Being VictimizedVictimized

“I’m suffering because of you”

“I’m getting cheated”

“We were prevented from meeting our production quotas”

“You made me foul up the job”

“Now my whole career is going to pot”

CHANGE AND CHANGE AND HOW WE HOW WE REACTREACT

Effects of ChangeEffects of Change ……At the individual level, change can At the individual level, change can

engender emotions and reactions that engender emotions and reactions that range from optimism to fear, anxiety, range from optimism to fear, anxiety, challenge, resistance, ambiguity, challenge, resistance, ambiguity, energy, enthusiasm, helplessness, energy, enthusiasm, helplessness, dread, motivation, and pessimism.dread, motivation, and pessimism.

http://www.microsoft.com/technet/Analpln/manorg.asp

““Everything that can Everything that can be invented has been be invented has been

invented”invented”

Charles Duell, 1899, Charles Duell, 1899, Director, U.S. Patent OfficeDirector, U.S. Patent Office

““Who…wants to Who…wants to hear actors hear actors

talk?”talk?”

Harry M. Warner, Harry M. Warner, 1927, Warner Brothers1927, Warner Brothers

““Heavier than air Heavier than air flying machines flying machines are impossible”are impossible”

Lord Kelvin, 1895, Lord Kelvin, 1895, President, Royal President, Royal

SocietySociety

ChangeChange

““Change is fundamentally about Change is fundamentally about feeling: companies that want their feeling: companies that want their workers to contribute with their workers to contribute with their heads and hearts have to accept heads and hearts have to accept that emotions are essential to the that emotions are essential to the new management style .”new management style .”

Jeanie Daniel Duck, Managing Change, The Art of Balance, (Harvard Business Review on Change)

““To Improve Is to To Improve Is to Change; To Be Change; To Be

Perfect Is to Perfect Is to Change Often”Change Often”

~Winston Churchill

ChangeChange

“…“…The issue isn’t whether or The issue isn’t whether or not people have “negative” not people have “negative” emotions [about change]; it’s emotions [about change]; it’s how they deal with them.”how they deal with them.”

Jeanie Daniel Duck, Managing Change, The Art of Balance, (Harvard Business Review on Change)

Communication and ChangeCommunication and Change

““Communication comes in both words Communication comes in both words and deeds, and the latter are often the and deeds, and the latter are often the most powerful form. Nothing most powerful form. Nothing undermines change more than behavior undermines change more than behavior by important individuals that is by important individuals that is inconsistent with their words.”inconsistent with their words.”

John P. Kotter, Leading Change--Why Transformation Efforts Fail, HBR, Mar-Apr 1995

“ “We hope that you are We hope that you are

happy in your work. happy in your work. We hope that yours is We hope that yours is more than just a job, more than just a job, that it partakes of the that it partakes of the spirit of the call, and spirit of the call, and that you come to work that you come to work every day with a desire every day with a desire to build the kingdom to build the kingdom and move forward the and move forward the work of the Lord. That work of the Lord. That is why we are here.” is why we are here.”

-President Gordon B Hinckley-President Gordon B Hinckley

Final Thought- Final Thought- AttitudeAttitude

“I believe the single, most significant decision I can make

on a day to day basis, is my choice of attitude. It is more important than my past, my education, my bankroll, my

successes or failures, fame or pain, what other people think of

me or say about me, my circumstances, or my position. Attitude is that “Single String”

that keeps me going or cripples my progress. It alone fuels my fire or assaults my hope. When my attitudes are right, there’s

no barrier too high, no valley too deep, no dream too extreme, no

challenge too great for me.”

Charles Swindoll, Strengthening Your Grip

THANK THANK YOU!YOU!

BYU Human Resource BYU Human Resource ServicesServices

building relationships of trust r. blair condie, aavp byu human resource services byu controllers’...

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