building a bounce back kid - asm.sd23.bc.ca learning plan/learning...building a bounce back kid. the...
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Presenter:
BUILDING A BOUNCE BACK KID
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The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna
What is Resiliency?
• How do you define resiliency?
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The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna
What is Resiliency?
• A few definitions:• The ability to positively respond, adapt, and cope
with a stressful experience.
• The ability to bounce back from adversity or life’s challenges.
• “Resilience is the capacity to rise above difficult circumstances, the trait that allows us to exist in this less-than-perfect world while moving forward with optimism and confidence even in the midst of adversity” - K. Ginsburg
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The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna
What is Resiliency?
• Can you think of a time when you’ve demonstrated resilience?
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The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna
Werner & Smith
• In the 1950s, studied protective factors in a population of children.
• Found some to be “Vulnerable, but invincible” – but why?
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The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna
What’s Inside?
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The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna
Moving from External to Internal Locus of Control
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The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna
Another Way of Looking At It
“Between stimulus and response, there is a
space. In that space is your power to choose
your response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.” - Viktor Frankl
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The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna
Core Principles
1. Resiliency is a process
2. Resiliency can be cultivated
3. Resiliency is about thriving, not just surviving
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The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna
Core Principles
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The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna
Purpose
• Values- how to explore this as a family
• Gifts and strengths
• Structure
• Responsibility
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The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna
Motivation
• Moving away from the fear incentive:
• Learning from failure
• Reducing perfectionism
• The difference between high achiever and perfectionist
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The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna
Identity
• Values – what do you stand for and believe in?
• Connecting children to who they come from and where they belong
• Catch kids doing well
• Reflect back what makes them special, when you see grit, when you see effort
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The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna
Developing confidence
• Opportunities
• Try new things
• Offer genuine praise
• Highlight big and small wins
• Set realistic expectations
• See the strong points in what can be considered “failure”
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The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna
Decision Making
• Do you feel paralyzed by choice, or excited by the possibilities?
• Do you have a formula or process for making big decisions?
• Chunking technique
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The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna
Exploring the possibilities
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The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna
Perception
• Do you have a default view/expectation?
• Challenge
• Opportunity?
• Adversity?
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The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna
Emotional Intelligence
• What is it?
• Recognizing emotions in yourself and others.
• Reflecting on the triggers for these emotions and your perception of situations vs. the potential perceptions of others.
• Ability to deal with tension,grey areas, and opposingemotions.
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The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna
Helping children develop EQ
• Notice strong feelings
• Take a few deep breaths
• Name that feeling
• What do I need?
A hug, help, a cry, to talk, etc.
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The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna
Perceptions
• Cultivating a child's view of self
• Of others
• Default perspectives
• Life is bigger than you think
• Opportunity Vs. adversity
• Excitement Vs. fear
• Courage Vs. bravery
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The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna
Next Steps
• As a parent, caregiver, educator your self care and ability to prioritize stress management is key
• Take time as a family to explore or reconnect with values, boundaries and routines, have conversations about where you find meaning and purpose
• Connecting with family history, cultural traditions and practices
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The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna
Resources
Building Resilience in Children & Teens 2nd
Edition Kenneth Ginsburg
Emotional Intelligence 2.0 Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves
The Resiliency Workbook Nan Henderson