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It’s a Physiology Thing

When’s it best to dialogue?

Toleration is implicit approval. approval.

Solomon Masala

Team Breath

Why Breathe?

“Breathing slowly and mindfully activates the hypothalamus, connected to the pituitary gland in the brain, to send out neurohormones that inhibit stress-producing hormones and trigger a relaxation response in the body. The relaxation response in the body. The hypothalamus links the nervous system to the endocrine system, which secretes the hormones that regulate all activities throughout the body.”

Sue Doucette | LIVESTRONG.com

Speak

ListenSpeak

Listen

ListenSpeak

Dialogue:Exploring for Shared Understanding.

Shared meaning yields synergy.

Speak

ListenSpeak

Listen

SAFETY

SAFETY

Speak

ListenSpeak

Listen

SAFETY

SAFETY

SilenceWithdrawing

Avoiding Masking

ViolenceControlling

LabelingAttacking

Dialogue Goals

Unhealthy GoalsBe Right

Look Good Save Face

Keep the Peace

Healthy GoalsFind the Truth

Admit, Learn, Re-Commit

Acknowledge ChallengeKeep the Peace

Avoid Conflict

Win - Lose

Punish, Blame

Separate and Isolate

Acknowledge Challenge

Commit to Resolution

Win-Win, Produce Results

Request and Resolve

Inclusion, Partnership

Adapted from Vital Smarts | Crucial Conversations

Start and Stay with Heart, work on ‘me’ first.

What do I really want?

What do I really want for myself?

Dialogue Tool

Vital Smarts | Crucial Conversations

What do I really want for myself?

What do I really want for others?

How do I behave if this is really what I want?

Demonstrate Mutual PurposeDo others believe you care about their goals?

Demonstrate Mutual Respect

Make it Safe.

Demonstrate Mutual RespectDo other believe you respect them?

Apologize when appropriate.

Vital Smarts | Crucial Conversations