Brahmacharini Kumari Chandan Puranacharya

SVAKRIYA SVARASAMRITA VOLUME 2

Self-Movement by Itself in Itself as Undifferentiated Actor-Action, Sweetness in Identity withthe Self, and Innate Immutability of the Supreme.

English Version of the original in Bengali

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reprinted or reproduced in any form without the prior permission of the publisher.

First edition

(Volume 1) November 1981

(Volume 2) August 1983

Combined Second edition (Revised and Enlarged) containing a commentary by Shree Virajanandji Maharaj on thedeep significance of the meaning of the esoteric words of Shree Shree Ma.

Rama Navami, 26th March, 1988.

Publisher

Shree Virajanandji Maharaj

Shree Shree Ma Anandamayi Ashram

Kankhal, Hardwar (U.P.) 249408

Printer

MANASI PRESS

73 Sisir Bhaduri Sarani

Calcutta-700 006 Phone Office 36-4362 Works 35-4312

Book Available from All Shree Shree Ma Anandamayi Ashrams

Edilor

Ma Das

Shree Shree Ma Anandamayi Ashram

Vrindaban, Distt. Mathura (U.P.)-281 121

VOLUME 2

INTRODUCTION

I do not know, nor do I understand; in fact, I am not aware of it.

But, at the time of construction of our Naimisharanya Ashram, when excavation was started, it was noticed thaton the site on which the present Ashram has been built, there lay hidden, as it were, in the womb of an unknownpast, the history of two cultures in two successive layers. It seems that the plot on which this Ashram standstoday is the Tirtha Kshetra (place of pilgrimage) of the same (ancient) Naimisharanya, which, as narrated inSrimad Bhagavat, was the scene of activities of Shri Rama and Shri Balarama, and also where Shri Krishna'slila-Charitamrita (delineation of character in the form of a) was revealed through description by Shri Suta.

Again, it was here that, in response to the prayer of Saunak Rishi, Shri Krishna's self-revelation took place in theform of words (Shrimad Bhagavat), in the presence of eighty eight thousand rishis.

Also, in this very Naimisharanya, it was found, in 1960, when our annul function of Sanyama Vrata was heldthere, that a particular Puran required for recitation and commentary on it (for the assembled devotees), was notavailable there. This circumstance provided the antecedent for coming into existence of this Ashram site, and theraison d'etre for (construction of) this Ashram. The articles found during excavation at those time-included itemsof antique earthenware, made with artistic skill, which are not seen in the modern age.

The location of the site of the Ashram upon these two layers of past (cultures) must have a special significance,for, why otherwise, did this particular form of manifestation take place. While it is heard that no image of PuranPurusha has been found installed anywhere, (all the same) he has (now) become self-revealed here in the formof this vigraha.*

* (See BANERJEE (R.K.) ; Mataji and Purana Purusha at Naimisharanya.

Ananda Varta Vol. XXII, No.3, July 1975, pp. 135-148.)

He who is aimed at in holding the Sanyama Vrata,

is He the super-cause in this - only He knows?

Ma says (while pointing towards Her own body),

"Oh! it is the one Atman, indeed, with all; surely, the One Parambrahma Paramatman only."

Again, it occurs in my mind that the same Supreme Ultimate Mahayoga itself must be responsible for bringinginto light this place and situation. It is He alone who illumined me within and that has led to this writing.

It was through a shower of grace that I had the privilege of taking the sacred-thread, performing Narayana Pujaand getting initiated into Gayatri Purashcharan.

The auspicious occasion for this initiation was the Paush Sankranti i.e., 14th January 1973.

And it was our Ashram at the great Tirtha Kshetra (place of pilgrimage) Naimisharanya on the bank of thesacred river Gomati which was selected as the site for the completion of this ritual through the compassion andblessings of our supremely adored Shree Shree Ma.

For this reason, under the instruction of Ma, two new pukka kutias (brick-built cottages), provided with all kinds

of good arrangements too, were built under a tree. Udasji was also a co-performer of this ritual; the second kutiawas meant for her.

During the performance of this ritual, there arose in me, at some auspicious moment, a solemn resolve to preparea written record of th details concerning the holy life of Shree Shree Gurudeva, based on whatever waspersonally known and heard by me, and give it the shape of a book.

Since very ancient times in the unknown past, this great Tirtha Naimisharanya has continued to be the sustainerof an uninterrupted stream of spirituality. It was this very place where the Ashwamedh Yagna was performed byShri Ramchandra, where he had met Lava and Kusha, and where the heart-rending tragedy was enacted of Sita'sentry into Patal (nether world).

Again, it was here that king Virat and his palace and the five Pandavas had lived incognito.

Also, in this very Tirtha Kshetra, in response to the prayer of rishis, Shrimad Bhagavat, comprising the lila ofShri Krishna, was related for the first time by Shri Suta, eighteen Purans were written by Shri Vyasa, etc.

So, it comes to my mind that this was, indeed, the right place where, in that unbroken flow of spiritual stream,the purifying chronicle of Shree Gurudeva first came to Light in a filiform. That book published in the presentform is surely a dressing upon that framework with various colours and (the contents) developed andornamented by taking advantage of Ma's presence too at various places when such opportunity was available.

I have, certainly, gone through other books, etc., on the subject published before. All these writings reflectedeach one's own ideas and feelings as they came from his heart. Depending on the condition we are in, this is butnatural for us. Whatever few facts were directly witnessed and obtained by people at particular places, thesewere also collected and incorporated in this writing. Further, through queries and conversation, the little that wecould get from Ma - how much of it we could grasp, we do not know-that too has been inserted here. All thiswas done through an effort extending over some three to four years. Surely, because of the fact that this is anaccount concerning my Gurudeva Muktananda Giriji Maharaj, we could get from Ma as much as it could be.

Books, etc., published by the Ashram are certainly accepted by all with respect. After a perusal of thesepublications, many have, indeed, refereed to Ma the queries that arise in their minds, and after getting Herreplies, have corrected and do keep on correcting the wrong impressions they have had till then.

From among them, someone, after reading one of such books put a question to Ma about some facts concerningGiriji. On hearing Her reply, he said that he had raised the question as it had cropped up in his mind on perusalof the book. And addressing Ma further, he had remarked that, whether deliberately or through inadvertence, itsurely did not appear that accurate and exact reports were there in all places in those writings.

From the (hitherto unpublished) writings concerning Ma, as compiled by the late

Bhaiji, whatever relevant portion was available of the connected accounts covering

Ma's Thakurma (grandmother),

Ma's father Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya,

Ma's mother Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi,

Bholanathji (Ma's husband) and

Ma - these five - has been taken out and embodied here (in this book). It was, perhaps, because this (portion)dealt with the connection between these five that Shriyukta Gurupriya Devi did not hesitate to give a very smallportion of it to me. No cause for any harm was involved and I feel, therefore, that nobody could have any groundto say anything against it. We, the travellers aiming at the realization of our Reality, who have met together, for

us, it is surely the form of a sacred book, as, in fact, the writing in this book does, indeed, contain the account ofthe association of these five only.

An incident is mentioned in the first three paragraphs of chapter One,* in which Ma, an infant of 3 months, is inthe lap of Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi. On coming across this incident (in the records received), the mindrecalled what had been mentioned earlier, namely, Triveni Sangam (confluence of three rivers), and in thiscontext, all the ideas and language (contents of this book) cropped up, as it were.

It is our good fortune, indeed, that all this has been provided (by Him) the opportunity given too to haveknowledge of all this; we take it surely, as the will of the Ichchhamaya (The Lord whose will is final).

Had we not got these (facts) at this time, our writing would have remained confined to the little accountconcerning Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi only. But now we realize that her form, in association with Ma is,as if, a small portion of all the aspects. Moreover, all the ways and methods of Shriyukta Mokshada SundariDevi, known as Giriji in later years till her last breath, also spontaneously coalesced. That is why, it is with theincident of Ma, a baby in the lap of Her mother, that we begin this book (under the subheading :

'Deliberate ignoring of a Mandatory Rule.. - A Lesson in the Pattern of Taking Place by itself'.

Ma's Thakurma (grandmother) too was present at that time in the field of activities of Mokshada Sundari Devi.A little about her has also been included.

if the (details of) priceless dealings, activities, and the like of Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi, with which Mawas concerned, were excluded, then I feel that the chronicle would be incomplete, as it wert, and would amountto its mutilation. As for me, in what other way can I produce it as a comprehensive whole? I can only make anendeavour to the best of my capacity.

Regarding the particular expression Triveni Sangam, it was, as if, Bhagavan (Himself) had given a gift of theexpression to me-the three contained in (each of) the three itself. Although all do abide in the One, withpredominance, indeed, of the One, the manifestation (in each) is of a particular form.

So the aspects of the lives of Mokshada Sundari Devi and Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya have been recorded as theyare (in their respective roles). As for Ma, how She is there in all aspects is, indeed, known or understood a littleby everyone. Beginning with Her play of behaving like a child, the all in entirety has got an indivisibleconcurrence too. This indivisible coalescence, whatever it be, is unrestricted. I am only making an endeavour togive a little account of the same, as much as I can.

Humble

Authoress

CHAPTER ONE

Childhood: Kriyas related to Different Aspects Taking Place

by ltself In the Context of Unfoldment pertaining to the Supreme.

(Also among) School Teachers and (later in the) Assembly of Sadhus.

In Unrestricted Innate Freedom (When) Child of Ten Months:

An emanation (a Yogi from Ma Herself).

Declaring (Ma) - The Supreme Ultimate Svarupa.

A Lesson Against Deliberate, Ignoring of a Mandatory Rule.

MA�S CHILDHOOD LILAS

When Ma was three months old, (Her mother) Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi went (from Kheora) to herpaternal home at Sultanpur. After staying there for a few days, she went to her maternal home at Jethagaon inthe district of Sylhet (all now in Bangladesh). She thought that as she would be there (at the house of hermaternal uncle) only for a short while, it would not matter if this information to her father-in-law's place was notsent beforehand. We had heard that the youngest maternal uncle of Ma's mother never got married and hadbecome a sannyasi after renouncing the world.

Deliberate Ignoring of a Mandatory Rule

A Lesson in tile Pattern of taking Place by Itself.

After leaving home at Sultanpur, the moment they entered the boat, Ma started suffering from cold and fever.Also, She neither opened Her eyes nor even took any food. Since Mokshada Sundari Devi had come to hermaternal home without taking due permission (as required), there was fear that something untoward may happen.For this reason, everyone felt deeply worried.

Whatever treatment was considered necessary was given and medicine administered. Also, every morning andevening, Ma was taken to a Tulsi plant and made to roll on the ground under it (but to no effect). However, whenMokshada Sundari Devi hurriedly left that place for Sultanpur, then on that very day, as soon as they boardedthe boat, Ma's eyes opened and cold and fever too vanished suddenly, then and there itself. Everyone wasamazed to notice this change and began talking among themselves to the effect that Bhagavan had taught them alesson because this trip had been taken secretly.

In those days, a special custom prevalent in the villages, in regard to the movement of ladies was that, beforegoing anywhere, they had to take permission from the guardians at their father-in-law's home.

Play of Teasing Child-Ma Rewarded - Ma's Grace.

At Kheora, when Ma was so small that She could only sit and crawl, the Muslim girls of the neighbourhood thatvisited Ma's house used to take delight ill holding Ma in their arms. According to the prevailing custom of thatregion, the practice was that until rice was put into the mouth (of the child), that is before annaprashan*( * Religious

ceremony of putting rice in a child's mouth for the first time.) was performed, touching the child by anyone belonging to a differentcaste was not considered objectionable. In the villages in those days, an emphasis on 'purity' and a strong feelingthat 'pollution' took place through a touch was very much in evidence. For this reason, infant Ma used to bepicked up and returned by others after She had been stripped of all clothes and left alone on the ground. Whentaken back, water was poured on Her body, and some water, with Tulsi leaves added to it, was also sprinkledover Her.

Once a Muslim girl Ekabbar, of the locality, wanted to take Ma from the lap of Thakurma (grandmother). Thelatter, therefore, left Ma on the ground. The girl, then repeatedly stretched out her arms posing to pick up Ma.However, every time Ma smilingly turned towards her, she immediately withdrew a little. In this manner the girlcontinued smiling and playing with Ma. After this had gone on for a long time, Ma stopped moving, startedcrying and continued to do so to such an extent that the girl failed to pacify Ma by taking Her in her lap andeven with any amount of fondling. At last, being fatigued and frightened, she set down Ma near Her Thakurma.The latter took up Ma in her lap and handling Her with considerable effort and caresses, stopped Her fromcrying. Never before this, had Ma, at this age, resorted to crying in such a manner. The pattern of Her crying toohad become an unnatural one for a little while.

From then onwards, that girl would never indulge in this kind of fun. She had also told Ma's mother andThakurma that noticing such unusual crying, she had felt herself landed in such a plight that a recollection of itwas continuing to give her a strange sensation out of fear. That sensation ever remained alive in her. That girlhad a great love for Ma. Even after her marriage, when she used to visit her paternal home, she would come tomeet Ma. Referring to the incident mentioned above, she would remark that she was unable to forget it.

Ma herself Makes Her Svarupa Known through an Emanation (A Form of Yogi) Declaring: This is MaPermeating and Transcending Visva.

We have heard that Mokshada Sundari Devi had reportedly narrated the following incident to a few persons. Atthat time she had been staying at Vidyakut along with Ma over a fairly long period. Ma was then about nine totell months old. One day, after seating Ma somewhere, she was busy doing some work, while, of course, keepingher attention also on Ma. Suddenly, then, there appeared the form of a man a lustrous figure, standing very closeto Ma. At that very time, Mokshada Sundari Devi too came there and standing behind Ma, kept on observing.

In the proximity of Ma, within a very short distance, that figure sat down, assuming an asana (a yogi's posture ofsitting). Though he wore the garb of a mahatma, his outer garment being almost of jogia (ochre) colour, he hadhis body covered in a strange manner. The cloth he wore and the way it was worn-in all this, there wassomething unique - a radiance, as from a glow of light, which cannot be conveyed in words. Whatever limitedactivity was noticed in him, it displayed his unusual distinctiveness with a luminosity that was beyonddescription. Meanwhile, Ma, in a semi-crawling movement, using one knee as a seat and placing the other kneeand foot ahead on the ground-in the pose, peculiar indeed to a child that can only crawl -went up quickly closeto that brilliantly radiant form of the mahainia endowed with shakti.

Then, sitting there, She kept on gazing at him and laughing too at the same time, as if She was intimatelyfamiliar with him, being one of Her own. Ma's mode of behaviour at that moment was not at all what is normalfor an infant. This was, at that time, something extraordinary for such a small child.

That mahatma, while continuing to look at Ma's entire body, from Her feet to the tip of the hair, and becomingmotionless in a sitting picture, appeared to be absorbed in meditation. Indeed, within a few moments, again,what a smile of joy was there! Was it a revelation of a positive gain without gaining as such? And while lookingat Ma with a fixed gaze, he kept on smiling. On the part of Ma too, there was an inexplicable gravity and aslight smile as well.

Afterwards, hoJding Ma overhead, and immediately after touching Her limbs, he placed Her feet reverentially onhis shoulder, head and other parts of the body. This too was, as if, an extraordinary expression of devotion andveneration, the like of which it is not possible to find in the common world. After this, he seated Ma in his lapwith reverence, being imbued all over with a sustained bhava that was at once so strange and wonderful.

Next, be seated Ma again near himself and following some procedure of puja, went through all its details knownonly to him. Also, some words accompanied with mantra, etc., came out of his mouth, but what they were couldnot be made out. The manner in which he did the pranam was such as if he had entirely given himself way. Hisactions-all of them-were completed one after another, within a very short time, inexplicably with lightningspeed. Finally, casting a strange glance, accompanied with a stream of light towards Mokshada Sundari Deviand after lifting Ma with both hands and placing Her immediately on the ground, said "This (pointing towardsMa), whom you are seeing before you, this is Ma, and is so not ouly among men and women, but also aspermeating and transcending the Visva. You will certainly not be able to keep Her bound in family ties. She willdefinitely not remain there." Saying this, the mahatma became suddenly invisible there itself. This be-cominginvisible should not be understood in the ordinary' sense of the term. What we have been hearing as Svamool, itwas in that only. Where did this mahatma appear from and where did he vanish? It was not at all possible thathe should be caught within the range of sight of anyone again. He disappeared there only from where he hadbecome manifest. Revealing the identity of Ma before the world for the first time by addressing Her as Ma-whois he? Only He knows through whose Kheyala this kind of manifestation took place.

The incident mentioned above has been incorporated in this writing of mine, as was heard, particularly from the

mouth of Gurupriya Didi. As for Mokshada Sundari Devi, all this could not be narrated by her in the presence ofMa. Several years later, once at Dehradun, where she was (called) Giriji (because of her sannyasa), GurupriyaDidi, after getting the account from the mouth of Giriji, had enquired a little from Ma : "Ma, when you werenine or ten months old, it is reported, a mahatma, after appearing (before you) had addressed you as Ma for thefirst time. Further, he bad said that you would never remain secluded in a home and had perhaps uttered someother words too like these." In those days, who could ever have the courage to open his mouth before Ma on atopic of such a nature. So Didi had stopped immediately after saying this much. A subject like this, then, causedalarm in us, as that led to a strange change in the physical body of Ma.

What is the indicative of Svarupa of Ma ?

To this question Ma's reply was : who will comprehend unless it is allowed to becomprehended.

The above stated incident is the Kheyala, as it were, to allow Herself to be comprehended. Appearing Herself inthe form of a yogi from Herself, it was She who in the context of kriya by that yogi revealed Herself in thedifferent Svarupas pertaining to different lines of sadhana. The states which reveal the Svarupa of dhyana, theperfect form of Bhakti Shradha (devotion and reverence), complete atmasamarpana (self-surrender), - all these,in fact, were unfolded by the courses of kriya by that yogi. It was the state of a yogi which unfolded such form ofdhyana, puja, mantra, etc., that led to the revelation of Ma's Svarupa-this is Mother, pertaining to Visva,transcending Visva as well.

The above statement is in respect of that place from where this revelation took place. What can be spoken of asbeyond a woman and man, it is in that child only - Himself, He, the Indivisible perfect - THAT alone.

In the form of Her Kriya, She, in this form, in the revelation of a yogi, in Her own Kheyala, the way in whichShe allowed Herself to be comprehended was Ma's play in Svakriya for the first time.

Ma not a Common Child

Can Excessive Fondling through Worldly Affection be Acceptable?

An incident on another day was as follows;

Ma's Thakurma had an aunt* *(This was the same aunt about whom a mention is made later under the sub-heading 'Is Ma an insignificant child? An aspect of

warning in Ma's play.) whose eldest son was Krishnasundar Bhattacharya. He was thus of the status of a grandfather forMa. Once he lifted Ma with love and placed Her on his shoulder in a jovial playful mood, just as, by way ofdressing, a child is made to sit on one's shoulder. Thereafter, be took Ma in his hands and, for quite some time,tried to make Her laugh and dance by moving Her up and down on his palms before throwing up and catchingHer back. And, finally, through further fondling, he made Her stand on his shoulder. Ma too was probablylaughing heartily (as is normal for a child).

Now the child placed Her one foot on the head of the grand-father, and the other foot She perhaps wanted to puton his arm raised above. All of a sudden, the grandfather started shouting: "Catch hold of! Catch hold of! Fallingdown! Falling down!", and sat down at once on the ground. Panting hard, he exclaimed: "O Lord, what a girl!"

Saying this, he left Ma near Her mother with a feeling of relief, as it were. In the process of sitting down on theground, it was not clear whether he had said, 'It is falling, it is falling' or 'I am falling, I am falling'. As towhether it was emotion or fear or weight that had led him to this state is known only to Him who is concernedhere.

This grandfather perhaps never indulged in this kind of fun with Ma during the rest of his life. All the same, hecontinued to have this feeling of affection for Ma fresh in his memory. He really used to look upon Ma withgreat love. This is the version of those who had reared Ma with tender care.

Child Ma

Is She in tile Bhava of Radha's Viraka (Separation) from Krishna?

Once, with Ma in her arms, Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi had gone to hear songs at a kavigan? (a kind ofsong tournament). Ma was, then, about two-and-a-half or three years old, and talked lispingly. The followingstanza was also (heard) there in that kavigan:

(Radha had) gone and appeared at the

Royal court of Shri Krishna,

Alas, like one who is mad

Courting for love only, in pangs, indeed,

Like one who is mad!

After hearing the song and returning home, Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi left Ma in the courtyard.

Sitting, absorbed in Herself under a thicket of banana trees, Ma started singing the same stanza lispingly. As Shecontinued Her singing, the flow of tears kept on drenching Her. What did the child understand which causedsuch a flow? That kavigan was, indeed, so touching that many could not resist shedding tears. As for Ma, Shewas also present there at that time, and was it due to an identity with their bhava that it happened as it did orwithin Herself alone, it was She Herself in the form of the flow of tears too.

Noticing all this, that grandfather of Ma, Shriyukt Krishnasundar tried to make Ma laugh through fondling Her.Ma, then, burst into laughter and continued laughing heartily, but with some bashfulness too, as it were. Thenarration mentioned above was heard from the mouth of Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi herself.

Play in the Context of Bimb-Pratibimb (Source and its Reflection) -

Herself Absorbed in Herself with Herself.

Once, when Ma was a tiny girl, Her mother asked Her: "Go to the tank-ghat, wash your face and come back."Sitting on the ghat, Ma fixed Her gaze at water with one-pointed attention, without caring to put Her hand in it.Looking at Her own reflection Herself in water, She kept on playing by making gestures with Her bands andfeet, and through facial distortion. She, then, began pointing out something with Her finger and mutteringsomething too, both of which were unintelligible. Was it with Her reflection that She was having thisconversation, gesticulation, laughter and all the rest through movement of hand and finger?

Again, on Her own, She exclaimed: "There is the sky, look, look!" In this way, it went on for quite some time.Meanwhile, that grandfather, Krishnasundar, standing at a little distance behind Ma, kept on listening andwatching all this. Perhaps he had felt concerned with the thought that She, a small girl, had gone in front of himto the ghat empty handed, and it was quite late too. So he had come to the ghat to find out what the matter was,and noticing Ma like' that, had perhaps led him to remain standing there so long. Later, he exclaimed: "What areyou doing sitting there? Couldn't you finish washing your face yet?"

Ma replied: "Oh look, look, there is the sky!"

After saying this, She washed Her face and returned.

Yes, She had come to wash Her face, but became absorbed with Herself in Herself. We all, that are here, surelybelong to Her alone. It is She who is playing with Herself. Isn't that so?

Is Ma an Insignificant Child?

An Aspect of Warning in Ma's Play.

We have heard that very soon after Ma's advent in our midst, as we see it, the aunt of Ma's Thakurma (themother of Krishnasundar, mentioned earlier) had remained alone in that room (the lying-in chamber). Ma usedto call this aunt Bada Ma (senior mother). She had a few cows that yielded a good quantity of milk which waschurned daily to get buttermilk (after converting the milk into dahi i.e. (yoghurt).

When Ma was a small child, that is, during the days when She went about without clothes, She used to visit her(Bada Ma's) house early in the morning, while holding a vessel pressed over Her belly. Her house too wascontiguous to that of Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya (Ma's father). When buttermilk would become available(after necessary churning for butter), she would call Ma first and give Her a little butter and some buttermilk.She loved Ma very much. At that time Ma was very healthy with a stout physique and some people jokinglycalled Her a chalkumra (a kind of pumpkin).

One day Ma, holding (as usual) the vessel on Her belly and moving it to and fro, had gone leisurely forbuttermilk. However, the moment Bada Ma saw Her, she exclaimed: "Just now I have started making buttermilkand here She has already arrived in advance to get it. You take buttermilk daily; now, it won't be given to youanymore, go away." She had spoken this in an annoyed vein. Just then she noticed that her churning pot haddeveloped a hole and the yoghurt in the pot had started leaking away.

(On this) she exclaimed with surprise:

'What is this development now!' No buttermilk could be had that day. She, then, called Ma and gave Hersomething quickly out of the remnants in the pot.

Ever since this incident took place, even if Ma was late in coming. Bada Ma would call Her and give buttermilk.Some among the descendants of Bada Ma are still living today.

They cherish great reverence for Ma.

A Form of Obedience to Mother's Order-Ma in the Form of Bhava of Kirtan?

When Ma was about two and a half years old, She was once taken to her maternal uncle's house.

One night there was kirtan in the neighbouring house.

Taking Ma in arms, Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi went there and seating Ma in one place, told Her: "Thereis kirtan, see and listen." Ma had once said that whatever the parents asked Her to do, She carried cut the same,as much as it was in Her Kheyala. Verily, even at such a small age, that day, perhaps in obedience to the biddingof Her mother, Ma was looking at the kirtan being performed and listening too, but now and then Her bodyappeared to be drooping in a peculiar way, lacking balance.

The mother had asked Her to listen to the kirtan; the rise of bhava that occurs when kirtan is heard in the realsense-perhaps it was this which was taking place. Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi noticed that Ma wasdrooping.

So she repeatedly made Ma sit up by shaking Her again and again, while remonstrating: "All the boys and girlsare remaining seated, only this one is in such a state! There is such loud singing and so much sound beingproduced due to playing on khol (tom-tom) and cymbals, but how this one is in this peculiar way indeed!"

Here, in fact, however, Ma�s body remained lacking steadiness, may be in a state in identity with the soundof the Name, etc., pertaining to kirtan. After kirtan was over, Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi returned homeand made Ma lie down on the bed. Next day in the morning, when she tried to awaken Ma by calling Her, the

latter still appeared in a somewhat drowsy state. She had certainly not sat up till late at night; what, then, hadcaused such a state, she wondered. Quite a long time elapsed in the same condition. As this was not due tokeeping awake at night, she concluded that it was due to some other cause.

Attraction of Kirtan �

An Aspect of Exuberance in Child Ma.

In village Kheora, on New Year's Day or some other special days, or when there was any outbreak of anepidemic, the villagers used to collect in the morning and evening, and move out in nagar-kirtan (kirtan in aprocession along the streets of a town). In Her very child-hood, Ma would, at the sight of or on listening to suchkirtan, have an ecstatic urge to run up to such a procession and move along with it.

With great joy and exultation, She would entreat Her mother "Mother, I just go, may I ?" So saying, She wouldwant to run away, as it were. She would then go up to the kirtan party and be back to Her mother the nextmoment running hither and thither, as if in a peculiar state of restlessness. Noticing such abnormalities in Maoccasionally, Her mother would remark : "This girl, of what sort is She?" Of course, she would not allow Ma togo. From Her very childhood, She was forbidden to move out with boys to any place. Even after the kirtan partywould leave, it was noticed that for quite sonic time Ma would remain silent, grave and very calm.

At that time it was also customary in every village in East Bengal (now Bangladesh), that in the twilight of earlymorning, the Vaishnavas, playing on tun tuni (a kind of small cymbal) and tambourine, would sing the name ofthe Lord at the doors of householders. They used to sing the following type of songs:

Wake up!

Oh residents of Vrindaban,

Saying glory to Radha,

Shri Radha,

It is already dawn.

Rising up graceful Radha

Looks towards the road,

Which way has gone

My Shyam Sundar Rai?

Oh residents of Vrindaban, get up!

Rama is awake, Sita is awake

And awake is Lakshman,

Dasarath, Kaushalya are awake,

Also Bharat, Shatrughna,

Wake up, Oh residents of Vtindaban!

Ganesh is awake, Kartik is awake,

And Lakshmi, Saraswati.

In Kailash, Shankar is awake,

And awake is Parvati,

Oh residents of Vrindaban, get up!

On those days, when at dawn they used to sing various bhajans, kirtan and songs at the doors of particularhouseholders, they visited again those houses later in the morning on the same day, and singing beautiful songsabout Balarama, Radha-Krishna, Goshtha Giti (songs connected with the pastoral sports of Krishna), songsrelated to Mahaprabhu, Mahamantra and various other such songs, collected alms from them. Thus it gave anopportunity to the villagers also to hear the name of the Lord and provided an aid as well to those Vaishnavas inearning their livelihood.

On such occasions, Ma would be disinclined, as it were, to withdraw from that place. She would appearabnormal. In fact, it was difficult to make Her even shift from there. While listening to those songs, Ma'sfeatures too would appear as if somewhat different, in full divine fervour.

In the village, it was a prevalent custom that the ladies would assemble and sing together on occasions ofworship of various gods and goddesses, during an investiture of the sacred thread, a marriage ceremony, etc.Those songs could be about Krishna or Rama, Sita or Durga-Kali, Kartik, Ganesh, Lakshmi, etc. Whatever thesong was, on the occasion of worship of a particular god or goddess, Ma would surely be in that same mode, andit was not easy to make Her move from there. All the same, remaining obedient, through Her own Kheyala, thecarrying out of the orders of Her mother was positively there.

Attraction in the Context of Prayer to Bhagavan �

The Form of Kriya of Ma.

Once, during Ma's childhood, two European ladies, while engaged in door-to-door preaching of Christianity,some also to the house of Ma's maternal uncle at Sultanpur. Deeply engrossed, Ma (who was then there) keptfollowing them as well. Through songs and discourses, they explained to all, the doctrines of Christian faith.Entreating Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi---f course, Ma was not concerned with this or that religion, it wastalk about Bhagavan alone that counted with Her - Ma said: "Mother, may I buy a copy of the book on theirreligion, priced one pice only? On this, she purchased the book and gave it to Ma.

She certainly could not properly read too; perhaps She managed to read one or two words and after that whocared to read further! How far it was intelligible to the little girl is known only to Ma, but She did remainabsorbed in it.

They had pitched their tent outside the village.

What happened to Ma!

On that very day in the evening, She went over to their tent running. We do not know for what purpose She hadgone (there) at that hour, which, indeed, was their prayer time. Going quickly, Ma had returned quickly too.Perhaps they could not even notice Ma. Meanwhile it was getting a little dark when She returned home. Thatday nobody took Ma to any task too, although it was a standing rule that everyone without exception shouldpositively be present in one's house before dusk. On Her part, Ma too did not tell anything about this matter toanyone.

In this context, it was heard from Ma's mouth at some later period that the camp of the missionaries lay on theout-skirts of the village in a field quite far off, on the bank of a canal and a lake, where it was impossible to goand come back within such a short time. (About) the pattern of Ma's movement, did Her feet touch the ground or

not?

She possibly moved flying, as it were. What type of movement it was, Ma only knows. On Her way, there laygrass and thorns, but such was the pattern of movement that even on touching them, they touched Her not-astrange sort of wavy movement in the air. On the basis of the narration as heard, we asked Ma, 'What was thesignificance of this movement?"

Ma: " There they made prayer, the same prayer was also in the form of this kriya.

Whenever it happens to be in Her kheyaIa to do something, then no obstacle arises in the performance of suchaction and She sees to it that it is positively done. At that time, in the dusky twilight, this very small girl returnedhome, running on a route through a rural jungle and nobody could get a scent of it, as it were, nor did anyoneeven ask Her anything. Here were strange newly-arrived European ladies, and in going after them at dusk, Shecould have taken fright as well, so natural for a child, but nothing of that sort happened.

They had come (dealing) with religious objects and that is what concerned Ma.

They too were like constant friends, dear members of the family. Where was then (the question of) obedience!When it was in Her specific Kheyala, did the binding of obedience hold good in this case? At other times, again,such binding was there, but where can there be a binding which is free of binding * is it not clear?

*A binding accepted in Her own Kheyala is a binding in Her freedom that is,

binding or no binding it is in the same freedom.

Who is Hari?

Child Ma's Query: basis of Play of sadhana in future.

At that time in the villages, there was no sign of any practice of holding devotional group meetings or havingdiscourses or talks by Mahatmas and the like. Occasionally, there was held a Harisabha (assembly for talk onHan), performance of kirtan, etc., or reading from the Ramayana, the Mahabharat, Padma Puran and the like.Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya, of course, did ardently do bhajan, kirtan, etc., with the name ofHan during the last part of every night.

When Ma was five years old, one day after dusk, sitting by Her father and hearing him singing, She enquired:"Father, please listen (and tell me), this Hari whose name you sing, who is this Hari? In reply, he said "Han isthe name of Shri Bhagavan."

Ma: All right, what happens by taking His name?

B. B. Mahasaya: He appears when invoked.

Ma : What does He do after appearing?

B. B. Mahasaya: If I am in need of you and then call you, you turn up; in the same way, He too makes Hisappearance. When one invokes Him and submits to Him any desire one has with a sincere heart, He fulfils it.Just as, when we call you and say, 'See, you get this work done for me,' you do the same; exactly, in the samemanner, whoever asks Him for anything, He grants it. As soon as He is invoked, Be will appear without fail. Heperforms so many other like acts.

Ma: Will He appear just on calling, 'Hari, Hari?

B.B. Mahasaya: Yes.

Ma: How big is He?

B.B. Mahasaya: Very big.

Ma : There is the field, will He be contained in it?

B. B. Mahasaya : No, He makes His appearance when called as Hari, Hari. You will then see how big He is,who He is and how beautiful!

A clue by indication provided by father in his own way for the revelation of THAT- this is what we mayconclude positively.

From the conversation between father and daughter recorded above, does it not occur in our mind that, in reply,Ma got spoken from the mouth of Her father that Tattwa, which is beyond speech and mind.

Because of the fact that the Mahapurna (super-full), Akhanda (Undivided Whole) Itself will Himself play withHimself, so here is the vastness of all forms, no form Itself, where beyond and not beyond does not come withinthe domain of talk certainly, this is what we should accept here. Through plain and simple words from the mouthof the form of a five year old child, what an extra-ordinary and serious question it was and the reply from thefather too-this aspect also has been granted to us.

In order to initiate the play of sadhana with Herself in Her own Kheyala in future, here is Ma in an environmentcreated by Herself only.

The child-Mother asked Her father : Who is Hari? Father replies: You do His Nam, you will know only whenHe appears.

This word about Hari that Ma got out of father's mouth, this, in fact, was the basis of Ma's play of sadhana infuture. What was made to be spoken through the mouth of father, this too is in the context of Ma's Svakriya.That is She Herself was the question and She Herself the answer.

In succeeding volumes we shall observe how splendid and of what a vast form this play of sadhana was, and inconnection with this play, an indication of Ma's own Svarupa was unfold in the form of each kriya, state andcompletion of sadhana. This is Ma's play of Svamool, where exist mools of all sadhanas. Abadh is that play ofMa with any mool at any time.

In and Out tile Same One Tattwa �

Child Ma's Joyful Exultation

During Ma�s childhood, one night at Kheora, there was a storm, due to which the house shook, the thatchingblew away and everyone became frightened. But Ma started clapping Her hands exultantly while shouting: "Thechan (a kind of hay in the thatching) has blown away, the chan of the thatching has blown away!" The next dayin the evening, when it grew dark, Ma began jumping and clapping with bubbling laughter. After pointing to theopening in the roof and' addressing Her mother, She exclaimed, as if with Her entire body:

"Look, look, mother, how beautiful!

The stars can be seen while sitting in the room itself! There is no need to go out-in and out are one and thesame!"

(On this) Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi remarked: "Whatever you are, your words too are exactly like that-just like the joy of a lunatic on the killing of a cow." Afterwards, it so happened that both the roofs of the houseon both sides rolled down to the ground. That which is to blow away, that which is to fall, melt or burn away,will end up exactly in that way- --where this is so, in the angle of vision. But where there is no question ofdrishti-srishti, there it is the One, THAT only-the Self. This is what we have been hearing. Was it a hint towardsthat only -only the One alone-which was conveyed by the clapping of hands?

Noticing Ma's occasional simple and listless mood, everyone, indeed, took Her to be an insipid simpleton. Someof them called Her insensitive and wondered if this one had not inherited a little of the simple nature too of HerThakurma.

They thought that if all this were not overcome, then God knows what may, befall Her after marriage.

In connection with the play too in child-like exultation' in Ananda, and in this kriya also there is a display ofindication pertaining to the truth of oneness. In and out are just one-in the example 'of identification ofghatakash (the 'void in a pot) with Mahakash (the great void)- implying identification of jiva-atma andParamatma, there was that exultation in Ananda of Ma.

Where there is perception-creation, that is; ephemeral view sustained by creation, sustenance and dissolution,there itself is transitory kriya, such as construction and destruction. Implying this fact, Ma is saying: what has toaway, fall down, what has to be burnt away, melt-away,' that does happen in the context of appropriate place.

In Svarupa, there is no such question-the One THAT alone.

This is what has to be realized by jiva, his own self revealing in the Self.

This is the significance of Ma's clapping of hands, being elated with joy.

Child Ma - Joy to Parents.

During cold and hot weather, in sun and rain, Ma could hardly be over powered (by weather conditions). It wasseldom that She was taken ill. She would play with great joy running about in the rain. Shriyukta Mokshada'Sundari Devi would remark,

"It seems that this one cannot be subdued in any way indeed!"

Observing the various sorts of strange modes' of Ma on many an occasion, both father and mother, despite themanifold troubles and tribulations that are generally there from the worldly point of view, surely had, all thesame, their little smile of joy undiminished.

Durga Puja: Manifestation of Bhava in Child Ma's Body -

A Question by Youngest Maternal Uncle

Once, on a Durga Puja festival, there was an occasion for Ma to visit Her maternal uncle's home when She was six or seven years old. Oneday, while watching the puja being performed, a strange bhava was noticed in the physical form of Ma, and in that state of exultationwithin Herself, She kept moving about on Her own. In the context of this incident, we heard that when there was anything like this in Ma'sbody, some indistinct utterances would start issuing from Her mouth. Ma's youngest maternal uncle kept on observing this for a long time.Afterwards, speaking forthwith, he asked Ma:

"Eh, what were you saying, muttering in this way ? Do repeat it to me."

Ma became completely speechless, as if She were a stone and in a serious mood remained standing in a state of bewilderment. It was as ifShe could not follow what was enquired from Her at that time. Just as there was deep serenity and gravity in Ma, indeed, so also, there wasa climax of restlessness taking place simultaneously.

It was this youngest maternal uncle of Ma who looked upon Her with an uncommon inner feeling. We have already written in detail on thisDuring the festival of Durga Puja, he would look upon Ma as Kumari* and worship Her first of all during Kumari Puja (the ceremony ofworshipping Kumaries). He would offer Her saris of best quality, etc., and feed Her in the same spirit. Some others too, during Ma�spresence, would, in a similar way, find much gratification in feeding Her as Kumari.

Everyone whosoever, without any distinction of caste and class, who happened to look at Ma, could not as ifresist fondling Her the moment there was a suitable opportunity to do so. In fact, Ma would attract the attention

of many indeed!

Vigraha - Lila and Tattwa.

At the age of seven or eight, and in the company of Bada Ma, Ma once visited Shiva Badi (temple of Shiva atChandla). For a while Bada Ma kept Ma seated under a banyan tree. The hair from the first shaving of the headsof children, vowed as an offering to the deity, used to be left under that tree by people coming from differentvillages. For this reason, a heap had formed of such accumulated hair.

While sitting there, one Thakurghar came into Ma�s view, but there was no Vigraha in it. All the same, therewas a tank nearby, and as soon as Ma turned Her eyes towards the tank, She noticed a Shivalinga of stone divingat one time, floating at the next, then jumping out while surging up from water and diving again.

Also, very near Ma, Shiva Durga vigraha, moulded out of moon as it were, flashed for a moment in that formonly.

Ma said,

"There were more facts in this context,

�but whatever little may be spoken at any time."

All the same, after sometime when Ma went to the Thakurghar, She saw the Shivalinga again also there. Onreturning home, in course of a talk, when Ma narrated some facts of what had come to Her view, othersremarked that they had always seen the Shivalinga in the Thakurghar only.

It was heard-such was the traditional report--that this Shivalinga did not always stay in the Thakurghar, butroamed about in the tank and jungles. When people went down in the tank for taking a bath, that Shivalingawould mount on the palm of someone, but immediately again would roll away and dive into the water.

This particular rolling away did come into one's view.

Again, when sometimes, someones eagerly tried to touch it, then, at that time, he would possibly fail to find it. Itwould disappear in water. At some other time, again, it would be seen seated in the room and puja being offered.That room, the flooring of which was of earth, and the roof and walls of corrugated tinned iron sheets, alwayshad an opening in one corner.

Ma and Mango Tree - Giving and Taking.

It was a usage in villages that at Vaisakhi Puja (worship performed in the Indian month of Vaishakh i.e., April-May), everyone offered ripe mangoes of the season, first to the family deity. One day Ma enquired of Hermother,

"Mother, Vaisakhi Puja is taking place and you too are performing it, but you have offered an unripe mango inthe puja. Where is the ripe one for us?"

She replied "Have we got a mango garden, where, in one tree or the other, at least one full or half-ripe mangocould surely be available? So we shall perform puja by offering an unripe mango. There is no need for a ripemango for us. One performs puja with what one has and according to one's capacity."

Outside, there were some mango trees in the gardens of other people. But Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi'sinstructions were that fruits were never to be brought (home) after plucking them from these trees; they could,however, be picked up if they were found lying on the ground under them. This was not prohibited according toan established practice in the villages. The instruction too was scrupulously observed by Ma. Lest a branch of atree bent down when laden with fruits, might come into contact with Ma's body and the fruit may be touched,

Ma would maintain a distance from such branches while proceeding on foot. Obeying an instruction meantobeying it fully.

While going to the ghat of the tank, Ma had noticed earlier that very high up in a tree, one mango had ripenedand turned red. It came to Ma's Kheyala that if it had dropped, it could be offered in puja. And, indeed, Ma hadthe habit of conversing with trees. We do not know how things happened and in what way, but when Ma wentto the foot of that three that day at that time, She found the same mango lying on the ground. When carried andgiven to Her other, the latter questioned: "You have not brought it after plucking jt, have you ?" On being told asto how it was got, she smiled a little at the words of the small girl and offered the mango in puja.

Ma told Her mother: "As you give me, so also does the tree; the tree too gives in the same way as you do, is itnot so mother? Surely, it can also give like you, no matter even if it remains. standing at on place."

On this, laughing in her sleeves a little, she commented: "Is the tree a friend of yours that it will give you? Lookat this girl talking like a pundit. Of course, paternal and maternal families ate of pundits; how can She escape thefamily cultural heritage?"

That Ma speaks only the truth, was undoubtedly in the knowledge of Mokshada Sundari Devi. In mattersrelating to religion, (as during) a vrata (religious observance), puja, kirtan, and when there ere vrala kathas(stories narrating glories pertaining to the deity at he end of a vrata) or reading of religious books, an expressionof cheerful enthusiasm and ananda would be noticed much in the physical body of Ma.

On a later occasion, after a considerable lapse of time, when once Ma bad been to Kishenpore* two mangoeswere brought from (a tree in) Kalyanvan* and shown to Her.

*( Kishenpore is a part of Dehra Dun town (U.P.),

situated on its outskirts. In this area, there are two ashrams of Ma,

one known as Kishenpore Ashram and the other Kalyanvan.

The latter is meant exclusively for sadhana of ashram mahatmas.)

On seeing (them), Ma had remarked:

"These two mangoes too have almost the same colour and similar pattern (as that of the mango mentionedabove). One of them had such a distinctive mark that it could be picked out even when mixed in a heap ofmangoes. We took a photo of the same. Both the mangoes were carefully stored on the first floor. After thatnone of them could be traced. However, after a considerable search, some one informed that he had noticed oneof the mangoes on the ground floor. That mango was brought, cut into slices and distributed, a piece each, asprasad. It was proposed to preserve its stone. But, afterwards, that stone too could not be traced at all. About theother one, who took it away or ate it tip or what actually happened to it, none could say.

After three or four years, while looking for this particular mango tree at Kalyanvan, it was observed that perhapsgornata (cow looked upon as mother, go : cow, mata : mother) used to be tied to it. After giving shade forsometime, it met with what was destined for it-only the roots were seen as a mark of its remnants.

Poverty as Yibhuti (Glory):

in Abhava (want),

Svabhava (Normal condition) in All Bhavas, the Same ever in Ananda and Exultation.

In the small village of Kheora, most of the villagers were not used to buying vegetables, as a regular practice,from the bazaar. (They depended on) whatever could be grown within their premises; in fact, they did manage toproduce some vegetables in their residential lands. But the land of Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya

around his house was so barren, and mostly sandy, that there could hardly be any possibility of producingvegetables and the like too that were worthwhile. it was this sand where Ma used to play with great delight. Shewould thrust Her fingers in the sand and heap it up in one place.

The sand was of fine texture, shining white, and Ma would tell cheerfully, and in exultation to the neighboursthat the kind of shining white sand which was there was not available in the land belonging to any other house.As if with sense of pride, She would remark: "Look, how granular the sand is; it does not soil the hand too."

At the end of play, She would shake off the sand by clapping Her bands, and go home jumping and leaping.

While we were reading this narration, Gurupriya Didi too was present.

In a lighter vein, she had, the, remarked: "Ma, we can see that while, you were with your parents, your greatgrace was, indeed, there, in their way of earning livelihood!"

In reply, Ma too said with a smile: "Why, at home curries were prepared out of bharali (inside stem of a'plantain tree) and thor (plantain flower). Fried neem leaves were there, and also a preparation of neem leaves andpieces of brinjal fried together. Leaves of coriander of foreign and Indian variety, reduced to a wet pulp andtaken with rice, and items of like nature all these were prepared sometimes.

Surely, we had taken plenty of such items cooked by mother.

Moreover, among fruits, we had kavrikela, avrikela, bichakela, chinichampakela (all varieties of plantain: kelameans plantain) and pineapple too, in small number; although now and then, they were left, as prasad (that ispartially eaten) by porcupine friends And clinging to a mango tree, there was a big guava tree which bore avariety of small guava. A few mango trees were also there.

Again, there as a very big jackfruit tree, but it never bore any fruit. After I had joined the family of Bholanath, ithad perhaps produced fruits once." We all, then, laughed again and said that in that case, in-. deed, there was nolimit to, the bestowal of grace.

Ma: Why, all these fruits, etc., too were now and then offered to the deity and taken as prasad as well.

We have heard, further, that such spices as ginger, green turmeric, coriander seed, aniseed, randhuni (a varietyof parsley) etc., were produced at home and sometimes used in preparing bhoga for the deity.

Uluchan (a variety of fine grass) for thatching the dwelling house grew there itself. The rustling caused by theswaying of bamboo (growing around the house) resonated through the house. Plants producing a kind of canegrew in the environs of the house, and their top ends were eaten after being boiled with rice, etc.

Although these cane plants were full of thorns, the latter were cut clean and after eliminating the tender pulp,were used for fastening en enclosures serving as walls o the house and tying the thatched roof and making itsecure. Such enclosures and doors were made exclusively of bamboos, and self-woven coarse mats, also ofbamboo only, were sometimes made use of. The flute too, secure in the hands of Sri Krishna, while touching hislips, is made of a particular variety of bamboo, and this variety was also here. Various other articles too weremade of this quality of bamboo. Even the dish used when eating parched paddy, fried rice, flattened rice, etc.,was only one particular variety among various such patterns of containers made of this bamboo'.

The artkle pertaining to this created world too, bearing the greatness of various aspects pertaining to theSupreme Objective were collected and during this time, while remaining in the environment of such articles thathad been prepared at home in a spirit of reverence for use, there was this girl in the form of kriya.

A portrayal of utter poverty is the background of the environment in which Ma is seen in Her childhood. Sheresides in a small simple house, the food comprises simple pot-herbs, vegetables, little fruits, etc. mostly grownin the residential land itself.

In the construction of Her dwelling place, bamboo, uluchan, cane, etc., all available from their own land wereused. Mats in use at home were also woven from strips of these bamboos which included also the special varietyfrom which flutes could be made, bringing into memory the flute in the hand of Shri Krishna.

A number of different vessels for taking breakfast were also made out of these bamboo strips.

In Ma's words: "Food stuff grown at home materials made at home itself - all such articles of this created worldhave the greatness related to aspects and ways pertaining to the Supreme Objective. That is, in the journeyleading to the revelation of Svarupa, the traveller must abide by particular disciplines in respect of his food,materials used, etc., as all this helps to awaken pure bhava. It is essential that there should not be the leastindulgence in respect of objects of sensual pleasure, as such abstinence is an aid to free oneself from worldlydesires, thereby opening a natural way towards the goal. These materials, as referred to here, having innatepotentiality to awaken satvick bhava in the environment sustained by purity and truth had been available there inthe normal course.

Thus, in the environment of materials created by itself and offered with reverence for use, was this child Ma inthe form of Her kriyas.

It was through Ma's Kheyala only that this environment manifested and in respect of all kriyas of M here, is Sheonly in the form of those kriyas, depicting by itself the way of living that makes natural unfoldment of spiritualstages which culminate in the realization of the Self revealing as everything in the forms of kriyas of sadhana,etc.

The ancestral homestead of Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya was at Vidyakut, and Holi, Durga Puja festival,and also a succession of other festivals used to be held there all the twelve months of the year. Thy hadagricultural and untenanted land too.

Well off Brahmin sisya and sisyas of other castes holding high positions were there. No doubt, we have heardabout all this. But the joy in picking pot-herb in the company of Thakurma, seeing stars while sitting in the roomitself after the thatching had blown away, making the house and the outside indistinguishably one, there was joyin all this too; and, then, to roam about, in great Ananda, putting on torn clothes, the dress reflecting utterdestitution-in want, in normal state, in fact, in all states the same oneness, was ever there. Was it because suchfacts as these could be brought to light, that you created this state of penury in the environment of Kheora? Allthis, indeed, is but your play and perhaps just to have such a pastime in sustained joy and exultation under allconditions, that this particular type of environment was created at that time.

From all this, indeed, it occurs in my mind that the entire surroundings here are of a rshi-Ashram, and again, tolook upon these as verily the Lila-Khela (divine play) created through volition of Bhagavan, where many formsare of the One, and those many abide in the One only. At the same time that One is in all, pervading all, which,undoubtedly, we have been hearing all along.

Right now (before us), our direct experience of the stream of appearances (of Ma) is the testimony that the forms are of tat only in all cases.On the other hand, anything or any aspect that is unfolded before us - in these worldly dealings, there is unworldly in fact, these 'who' are ofthe only One (that which) is appropriate at a particular place.

However, in all states, it is the One, THAT alone.

Since it is THAT only, with it, Ma is the same Prasanna Svarupa (serene, cheerful, disposition Itself.)

Surely, we must take this fact into account.

This Svarupa is only to be realized; where, then, is the possibility of catching and comprehending it (objectively)?

It awakens in my heart that all these kriya in this environment, at this time are a solemn in song wreathed in the background, bothin adverse and propitious conditions.

Here is child Ma in the environment of extreme poverty.

However, in whatever circumstances She might bin a broken dwelling place, wearing torn soiled clothes, withsimple food - identifying Herself with any condition, She is, under all conditions, ever in Ananda, elated withjoy.

While investigating the reason for this, one way of looking at it is the tradition of rishi ashram. Besides, thediverse forms pertain to the One only, many abiding in the One alone. That is, whatever may be the condition,Ma is, indeed, ever in that one form. Therefore, the external forms of that Svarupa-Ananda are diverse kriyasand dealings. Adversity and favourableness, due to circumstances, are Her own external expressions-it is Sheindeed. Here misery and want, due to any extraneous influence - this question does not arise.

Various forms of divisions and distinctiveness are, with the touch of the One, unfoldments in the form of modesof play of the One. So long as this truth remains un-revealed, till then persist the worldly concerns, attachments,aversions, conflicts, leading to the dukha (misery) of coming and going (birth and death).

It is Bhagavan who is both joy and misery, in all forms and form-less as well.

That we may remain devoted, aiming at this in our journey-is it not this end that those plays of Ma are meantfor?

Ma says: "In samsar (world), where considering sam (change) as sar (permanent), that is, unreal for the real,

one ever remains oscillating,

being subject to kriya, sustaining favourableness, adversity, misery and conflict.

But behind this unreal form of the world full of misery, there is the harmonious play of Nitya-Svarupa (eternalReality) in each form, and this indeed is the �solemn song wreathed (as a garland) in the background�.

There is that Supreme Ultimate Ananda-Svarupa-Tattwa, beyond mind and speech, in all forms �

THAT alone.

Again, it is He in the manifested kriya pertaining to the world in the form of favourableness and adversity aswell."

That is why in all conditions, there is an unswerving cheerfulness itself in Ma. This is what has to be unfolded tous in the context of the environment of penury pertaining to Ma.

Playing with Sand.

Manifest, Unmanifest, Indeed All in that Small Mound.

One day Ma was making, at one place, a circular heap of sand by digging and turning it up with Her hands. Hermother (came up) and enquired: "You have been in the sand so long, exposed to the sun, and are perspiring witha red face. There is sand all over your body and head. What is it that you are making with the sand?"

Ma replied: "There is the Salagram Thakur in the Thakurghar, spherical in shape and present in it areKrishna Thakur, Radha Govinda, Rama Narayana and all such Thakurs so you were telling, were you notmother?

Now, in this heap of sand too, are present all those Thakurs in the Thakurghar, and there are in it (theheap of sand) still more Thakurs, innumerable as they 'are."

The girl conveyed, through the tone of these words, we do not know what all ideas in a strange manner, while

looking at Her mother's eyes and keeping on smiling, waving to and fro, with Her one band resting on theground and the other raised above, twisting Her body as She remained seated, revolving the raised hand andmoving Her head and mouth.

It was, as if, in this very small heap of sand nothing whatever was excluded that is what, we think, She wasmaking (Her mother) understand.

Within Visva Brahmanda and beyond

whatever exists at any place or does not exist, Thakur, Devata, etc., in fact,

all that is manifest, unmanifest as well (are in this small heap of sand) - and, indeed, was not this that was hintedat through these words (of Ma).

Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi perhaps remaining thoughtful over what was conveyed by those words,quickly went to the kitchen and calling Ma from there bade Her: "Do not remain anymore in the sun, comeinside the house."

When Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi gave this instruction, she observed, while peeping, that Ma, lookingthis way and that and laughing heartily on Her own, had got Herself nicely seated on that heap (of sand) as acushion.

Razing that heap almost to the ground, She stood up and picking up a little sand in Her hand, sprinkled itabove Herself and on Her head too, and then quickly ran to Her mother jumping and dancing on both thefeet, as if a sustained wave of joy, pulsating from head to foot, was always there. Where did this pattern ofdancing and its rhythm originate from, Her mother wondered!

Play with Flowers - In the Form of Flowers.

In Her play with flowers, etc., how many diverse patterns were there (in the play) even with flowers. SometimesMa would take a flower in Her hand, and as She would stretch Her hand above Her head as far as She could, Shewould keep on observing it all the time. And then She would touch Her cheeks, mouth, nose, forehead and head(with the flower). Making a braid of nandadulat flowers, She would give it the round shape of a bangle. Puttingit, may be on the nose sometimes, round the ear at another time or just on the head, She would dance a while.

Mokshada Sundari Devi had taught Ma the technique of making a wreath by inter-weaving nandadulal flowers.From then onwards, Ma began making such plaits and playing with them. Again, as if muttering, what a longtalk She would have with flowers while making signs with hands, nodding and moving mouth and eyes.Afterwards, collecting all the flowers in Her hands and throwing them all up, She would walk away in a seriousmood.

After so much fondling, in such intimacy, of the bunch of flowers, there would be, as if, no connection at all(with them)! Sometimes someone would happen to see all this too. When aware of it, Ma would burst into loudlaughter.

Even while standing, or sitting as well, once the play was over, Ma would, after tearing and casting awayeverything, and abandoning it all, turn a quiet girl and make Her way homeward. What is novel in all suchstories? Now too we see that when Ma continues to stay in a particular place, it takes on the appearance of athoroughly delightful festive congregation. We become full of expectation that perhaps the rest of our life willpass in this very manner. But, in a trice, the festive congregation vanishes, and then no one belongs to anyone.

Play of Drawing a Circle - Her own Drawing,

Her Steadiness, Dancing as well

There were still several other kinds of play of Ma.

(For instance), with the heel as centre and the middle part of the foot raised and curved inwards, She would, byturning round, draw at a stretch a uniform and unbroken circular line with Her big toe. After joining the ends ofthe circular line through that single turning itself, She would stand still there. Then, revolving round and round,She would keep on dancing. Again, sometime, stretching out both Her arms, She would continue whirling roundin the same style; also, leaning as well, once on the right, and then on the left. At that time if ShriyuktaMokshada Sundari Devi happened to notice this, she would warn, exclaiming: "Hey, you will fall down, don't doall such things!" Ma would, then, stop moving, and clapping with raised hands, would run to Her mother leapingand jumping. Whatever Her bidding, Ma would carry it out to the letter; this, too, was noticed in Ma.

While drawing the circular line, the other foot of Ma remained (aloof) in the air only and did not touch theground. Observing all these different ways (of Ma), sometimes there was an expression of fear too in MokshadaSundari Devi. At that time, she would say: "Don't know what all this girl does; of what kind She is-like a - sillysimpleton too; Bhagavan will look after Her in His own way!"

Neighbours, too, there were hardly in any considerable number. On rare occasions, some girls of Ma's age-group, from the Eastern or any other quarter, came and took part in the play of drawing the circular line. Amongthem, perhaps one could complete half of it, some possibly a part, while others attempted to draw the samewalking slowly with the help of the other foot. Sometimes the ends did not join well at all. Someone perhapseven sat down after standing. All fins failed to get that unbroken circle through a single rotation. In the play ofchildren, such was he distinctive feature even when Ma was playing in the sand.

Ma, though a small child, was, in fact, even in that play, not at all with anyone, though remaining in the midst ofall, like white sand which is shaken off and thrown away. (Of) the unbroken circle, was She not Herself, indeed,that Akhand Bindu* itself at its centre?

She Herself was the drawing,

Herself, again, in the stationary state,

and Herself in the state of dancing as well.

That is, whatever it is, it is She with Herself,

revealing only Herself in Herself, even in all such physical postures in the play.

In fact, this is what is being conveyed at all times.

Indeed, Ma would sometimes say:

"When this body was (for the first time) in the presence of you all (i.e., born), as it was then, indeed, soalso it is now (i.e., the same)." *

*(Ma pointedly declares here Her Reality as the only One without any change,

transcending time, space and causality. There is, thus, no question of birth and death,

and all states as they appear to us, in Ma's life movements (including birth and death)

are nothing but the One appearing as the many in those forms.)

So, even in this play too, She was in that undifferentiated wholeness of Her own-this, indeed, is what coins toour mind. A childlike play, as we see it, it is the same which She is playing, but in the pattern of Her ownundifferentiated wholeness. Till today, whatever is taking place anywhere, indeed in all, there is the same patternof Hers - She Herself, so we think.

Ma, or course, always says when you got this body first, what it was then, the same, indeed, it is now also Here

is that One Tattwa, where there is no question of a second. In such a case, what is the Svarupa of kriyaspertaining to plays, etc., and dealings?

Movements, rising, sitting, jumping, running - diverse kriyas, diverse bhavas and diverse movements of thebody, and yet the person remains that same one. This is a gross analogy to comprehend Ma in the mind also asmuch as it is possible-the pattern is Hers only, the steadiness is Hers alone, dancing as well.

The Indivisible is ever indivisible.

Even in every entity, there is that Indivisible - certainly, the indivisible can never be divided.

Therefore, in all these movements of the body, it is Ma alone,

the One only-THAT alone.

Didima Predict her Sannyasa - Ma's Play

About this time, one night Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi was cooking food and Ma, sitting by her, wastalking to her as if she was Her friend.

During the talk, Ma enquired: "Mother, Sona Mama* calls you Bidhumukhi, is it not so mother ?" With asnubbing, she remonstrated: "Hey, one must not utter the name of one's mother."

"Why?", Ma enquired again: "What happens by uttering (the word) Bidhumukhi ?"

It is no exaggeration even to say that Mokshada Sundari Devi never knew how to lose her temper or scoldanyone, but did express herself in a few words (with emphasis) as the occasion demanded in a particular context.A slight hint or a gesture from her put the children on their guard. On Ma's insistence, she replied, (By takingthe name of one's mother) "One commits a sin; the mother dies." On (hearing) this, Ma persisted (in asking Hermother) "Give me word that no sin has been committed and you will not die!"

Ma did this with inflexible earnestness, as if She was about to cry.

On no other occasion had Her mother ever noticed Ma making a demand so stubbornly, and on the point ofcrying like this. It was never the case with Ma to rush up and talk to anyone after clasping the back or the bodyof that person. Remaining seated, She pressed Her demand with persistence, holding the mat-door andcontinuing to shake it a little.

(Noticing) that particular bhava (of Ma), followed by a somewhat uncommon transformation, as it were, in Herfeatures and (also realizing) what a strange way of speaking it was, as mother bad an apprehension born out ofthe uncertainty as to) who knows what might happen.

So, at last, taking the name of Bhagavan and turning her face away from where food was being cooked, she wasforced to assure (Ma): "No, no, no, no, there has been no sin on your part; I shall not die, shall not die, shall notdie."

The present name of Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi is, do we know, Shri Muktananda Giri Maharaj. Herformer name is not there anymore (after taking sannyasa) - sannyasa, death of death. That small girl, aftercreating an occasion through Her own Kheyala, also got out of Her (mother's) mouth these words denotingconquest of death, which surely means immortality. What was to come about was indicated then only during theconversation between mother and daughter-this is what we have found here. Later on, when Mokshada SundariDevi was amongst us as Didima (grandmother), we had enquired of her one day: "Didima, A sin is committedby uttering the name of one's mother,' why did you say so?" Didima had replied: "In villages we had beenhearing so from our childhood; that is why I had said this."

Ma's Kheyala - A Heavenly Mango .

On another day, Didima told Ma: "Your luck is such that (though) these are the months of Vaisakh (April-May)and Jyoishtha (May-June) and there are a few mango trees as well in the house, yet not a single one amongthem is ripe, which you can eat."

About this very time, Ma went once, in the company of Her Thakurma into a jungle to pick pot - herb, andfound quite a large sized mango lying there. No mango tree, too, was there, and it was, as if, someone had placedthe mango on that spot. Such a variety of mango is never seen at all, and looking at it, Mokshada Sundari Deviwas wonder struck. It was so lovely, so big, so deliciously sweet-smelling and of such an attractive appearance,as if the mango was of heavenly origin. Its colour and pattern were also novel. the skin too had its ownspeciality--wbere else could such a variety be (found)? Taking that amrita-phad (amrita-giving fruit) in hand,the face of Mokshada Sundari Devi became suffused with joy. From the stone of a good variety of mango growsa tree of good variety, but despite search, the stone (of this mango) was not found (afterwards).

Svarga, Result of Virtuous Karma with Desire, Transient-Realization of Bhagavan, the Aim In those days invillages, education among girls had not been introduced on any appreciable scale. It may bc said that amongelderly women in villages, there was hardly anyone who could read or write. Among men, someone perhaps readthe Ramayana or the Mahabharat on some occasion, but among the women, practically no one was seen even tohear with attention what was being read.

The talk about going to Svarga was often heard from the mouth of old women.

(Svarga is the world for special enjoyments to which one attains after death

as a result of righteous actions with desire. Hence it is a place of temporary residence,

which one has to leave after the fruit of one's actions is exhausted through enjoyments.

Ma's question about there being anything special in Svarga was to make it clear

that Svarga was not the Supreme objective. Didima's silence confirmed this.)

Hearing this from the mouth of someone, one day, while lying beside Didima, Ma suddenly enquired,

"Mother, they talk about Svarga; can one go there only if one so desired?"

She replied,

"Yes, it is possible to go there. Svarga, earth and nether world are there; we are on earth. One can go to Svarga ifthere is a burning desire for it."

Ma asked,

"In which direction lies the way leading to it, do please tell me mother?"

She replied: "When a strong desire arises in a man for it, then only he can see the way."

Ma further enquired: "One can go there, if only there is a desire for it, is that so?"

Didima replied: "Yes, certainly!"

Ma asked again: "Is there anything special there?" Didima did not add anything (to what she had said already).Very often Ma used to have (talks on) such religious topics, and (hold) discussions on various subjects with Hermother and (hear) stories (from her). Whatever was worth receiving from Her mother, that, again, was there too.

One Eternal Dhvani.

One day the sound of kirtan and of playing on khol was held from a house at a far-off place. Lying here (at

home), Ma was perhaps in that changed state, in keeping with the occasion Afterwards, She enquired of Hermother,

"There is this kirtan and playing on musical instrument, which we hear; what do we get by doing all this?" Shereplied: "Bhagavan is pleased; He can hear even when one takes His name mentally. Indeed, man cannot seeeverything, but surely, Bhagavan knows everything, sees everything and does everything at all places.

Definitely, He is present in everything, yet again, does nothing at all."

In the context of a certain topic we were told that in Her childhood, when Ma heard any sound produced by thebeating of drums on the occasion of any puja or a festival, or during a marriage celebration, or even any othersound of a loud nature, She was indeed, (found to be) hearing it (alright) but to have got into a fixed inexplicablebhava!

While remaining calm under that abnormal state, there would flash for a moment, in the body of Ma, anextraordinarily strange manifestation externally visible to all. When an enquiry was made about it, Ma hadreplied,

"There is only one eternal dhvani;

in this context, know that there is that Supreme (eternal dhvani) abiding in each aspect of dhvani."

Afterwards, when She would come back to (what we call) Her normal state, there would appear, in Ma, a specialbhava of diffidence too in the presence of people.

However, on an-other occasion, this aspect would be definitely there, i.e., a totally determined bhava (would benoticed). Even now, we are used to hearing (from Ma) that whatever happens at any time, let it. Sometimes, ifMa saw someone crying or laughing, She too would be seen doing the same along with that person. Then, again,this too, that whether the occasion was one of merriment or lamentation, or whether Ma was in the midst of toomuch confused noise of any nature, or manifestation of any other sentiment, She would remain like one totallyindifferent, unconcerned, unaffected-the same as ever. This too would attract the attention of many and theywould remark:

"Is the girl a simpleton ?"

Once, when Ma was about three or four years old, Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi fell seriously ill at Hermaternal uncle's house. (As usual), Ma had Her food, etc., loitered about also, but kept well away from Her(ailing) mother. Everyone remarked:

"What sort of a girl is She? She does not care to see Her mother, even with a glance by the way. Is Shecompletely without any feeling of love and attachment?"

Sense of sanctity and Defilement

- Justification of Compliance with Shastric Sanctions and Interdictions

In the context of a topic concerning a different event, Ma said that once at Kheora at noon on the day of Adhivasof autumnal Durga Puja. She had sat down with Her mother to take food. Ma, had, then observed Shri Durgajiand other associate gods and goddesses going away in front of Her, in a manner just as any man walk away.They were also looking at Ma and complaining that in a certain house, contact with impurity occasioned by thebirth of a child in the family had polluted the puja and the preparations for it, and so they had come out of thatplace.

Ma had been intently observing this when Mokshada Sundari Devi, giving a gentle stroke on Ma's cheek, hadremonstrated: "Hey! while sitting to take food, what are you staring at?" In fact, Ma was like this from Her very

childhood; sometimes, indeed, absent minded, In whichever direction She looked, Her gaze was occasionallyfound to be fixed.

Question : What is all this Ma?

Ma: "When a periodical rite is observed, there must be maintenance of sanctity and a strict adherence to therelevant religious practice as appropriate to that particular case."

We feel that here is a warning to all that one should ever be on one's guard to maintain sanctity while performingsuch rites. Did we not get a lesson on this aspect too from this particular case?

Ma in Identity with the Deity Worshiped in a Puja in Her Presence.

At Kheora, Ma's Thakurma had a lady friend. Ma had given her the name Chikkan Didi and used to address herby that name only. She was a child widow and without any issue. She had great affection for Ma and very oftenwould take Ma to her house.

Sometimes, she would get Ma to cook and then comment: "Sister, whatever you cook, it tastes just likeambrosia." From the worldly point of view, it may even be said that Ma had Her first lesson in cooking fromher.

In a house in their neighbourhood, Durga Puja was celebrated every year as well as a succession of otherreligious ceremonies during the twelve months. The name of the daughter of the head of that house was alsoNirmala (Ma's name).

Every year for three days during the time of Durga Puja and on the occasion of other special pujas too, like Dol,etc., they would take Ma to their house to stay with them At that time, the duration of Ma's stay there and takingfood i that house was almost fixed, as it were. There, at the time of puja, Nirmala Devi and Ma both used to sittogether and sing a lot of various Malsi songs (songs related to Shakti, the Divine Mother) and the like.

At that time, Ma was in the Divine Motherly bhava alone (as if the Divine Mother Herself). In fact, thereappeared in Her tile appropriate bhava and also the rupa (form) which were identical with what was depicted ineach song related to a particular puja.

One day at noon, someone came to hand over to Ma, a plate of Naivedya (offering of rice, fruits, etc., for adeity). From Ma, who was, indeed, already in Her abnormal bhava, she enquired: "What has happened to you?Why are you looking so (unusual)?" And while looking closely at Ma she too became inert, as it were, in astrange, inexplicable bhava and totally lost in it. This happened to her certainly as a result of looking at Ma.There occurred within her, it appears, some sort of a little opening of a divine bhava on a permanent basis. Nodoubt, she already had love and affectionate regard for Ma, but from then on, there was (in her) a special feelingof reverence and devotion (for Ma) all the time. At that time Ma remained silent) poised in Her own bhava.

When Shiva Puja was performed on Shivaratri night, Ma remained in identity with all those bhava too. In fact, itwas the same with Her in respect of any particular bhava that presented itself (before Her) at any time. On theoccasion of Ras Purnima (the full moon night during September-October, when Lord Krishna did Ras-lila withGopies) and on Laxmi Purnima, when, of course, remaining awake the whole night, She was in those bhavasonly. After a whole night vigil on Laxmi Purnima, one is not allowed to sleep on the following day till the starsare not visible again. Though only of a child's age, Ma did, through Her Kheyala, everything to the letter inobedience to what Her mother asked Her to do.

In the context of topics of such a nature, we have heard that on those occasions, sometimes, as reported, someinexplicable external manifestation in the body of Ma would invariably take place in a strange manner; a bhavaof identification with pervasiveness in mode and dealing was, of course, positively ever there.

Ma would be observing the performance of a puja, etc., when all at once, like a stroke of lightning, there would

occur by itself, indeed, a strange change in Her bhava, sustaining that identification with pervasiveness andwithin the sight of people in the external world too. Whatever puja it was at any place, the vigraha, flowers,bhoga, materials for puja, the person doing the puja and also the mantras, etc., (were all) THAT alone. Readingrelated to Bhagavan, also reading of the Chandi, all those materials required at different stages of that particularpuja, in kirta too held in the oute apartment and the like, whatever was being performed separately, surely, insuch different forms too THAT alone.

At certain times, there used to occur, in the body of Ma, some change that was strange and not normal and thattoo, indeed, within the view of people in the outer world. The normal dealings in the external world would, as if,for the moment, get lost or become concealed, or how to put it correctly as to what sort of manifestation it was.It is not possible to explain it in words. At that time, for a moment, Ma appeared in a different form and so wasthis caught sometimes in the eyes of people.

On a query about the nature of this external manifestation, Ma said: "Oh Baba, you, of course, see this body as itis while moving about in its usual way, (but) what is eternal, is there. Occasionally, what appears to be of astrange sort, certainly from your point of view only, (it is) abnormal, or, again, normal, (but here) whateveroccurs at any time

THAT only.

Winking and not winking, the same--indeed, all these are just the same One.

All in One and One in all �

certainly THAT only, even what is a corpse too!

All (including) dead matter whatever, what is considered

to be existing or not existing-THAT alone, indeed!

Right expression (to convey what is meant) is not coming out, Baba!

Where, again, is separateness (there)? Regarding this body, it is all elomelo, what else!"

Indeed, Ma always says: "From your point of view, eating, sleeping, moving, talking, smiling, etc., areseparate actions related to worldly forms and ideas as they are. So, it is but natural that this kind ofquestion should arise."

This was also there that Ma could recite all those mantras, do the reading (from scriptures), etc., fluently. At thattime, occasionally, Ma would abruptly get up without anyone's knowledge. If this came to the notice of someoneand appeared strange to him, he made some remarks too sometimes. Immediately, after manifestation for amoment like lightning, all these bhavas would, by itself, withdraw within Her and She would come back, fromour point of view, to normal condition in behaviour.

Afterwards, towards those who had the chance to see a little of this aspect of Ma suddenly come to light, a sortof hesitant serious mood would be noticed in Ma.

Then, again, they would call Ma and engaging Her in play, would make Her smile. Whenever they met Maagain, it was evident that perhaps they had not been able to forget the particular bhava they had occasionallynoticed in Ma at any time. It occurs in our mind that this divine bhava remained with them like a companion intheir spiritual life aimed at the Supreme Objective, and did this not help a little in leading them towardsunfoldment (of their Svarupa)? For such fortunate ones who were there in the midst of all this and had a chanceto witness it (Ma's bhava), we should certainly consider this (coincidence) too to be of special Kalyana (forthem).

In that region, at that time, nothing was heard or seen, even by sign and indication, which could throw light on(such subjects as) a yogi, kriya of yoga and the like, interpret the doctrine (of Bhagavan) with form andattributes as Shri Rama and Shri Krishna and expound doctrines of dualism, monism, etc. The practice ofreading religious books like the Ramayana, the Mahabharat, Gita, Bhagavat, etc., came to one's notice onlysometimes, somewhere. As for Ma, of course, whatever happened there in Her presence at any time, (She wasever in identity with that alone).

In the presence of puja, Ma is in the form in identity with that bhava. In the context of the aspect of innerSvarupa pertaining to Tattwa of those bhavas, in Ma's words: in connection with those pujas, etc., a pervasivebhava unfolded. That is, with a comprehensive view, whatever it was concerning puja-pujak (performer ofpuja), puja vigraha (deity of puja), puja (performance of puja), mantra pertaining to puja, flower, bhog, articles,etc., for puja - all indeed-Ma.

Again, separately, such as Chandipath (reading of Chandi), anything any where concerning puja, kirtan, etc.,whatever it was as part of puja, each one separately-Ma alone.

In the context of an extraordinary change of bhava in Ma's body, like the above stated bhava, Ma is saying :"Ordinary, extraordinary is as you view them."

In the Reality of Ma, She is what She is, eternal. What She is in Her easy movements, and again, anything thathappens at any time, She is in those respective forms to Ma alone, such as the person who he is while winking,is the same person when he is not winking. There is distinction only in kriyas of the same person.

As a person, he is ever the same.

In the Reality of Ma, there is no question of change or no change -THAT alone. That is why Ma is saying :"Whatever exists or not at any place, all indeed -THAT alone definitely, where, again, is a separateentity?"

Therefore, what is ordinary, the same extraordinary-Ma alone.

The basis of Oneness, in the background of dualistic vision of jiva, is not comprehended. That is why questionsof this nature keep cropping up. Any-thing anywhere in the context of Ma's play, it is Ma alone-this is what weare being led to comprehend.

Obedience to Bidding,

A Play in the Content of Ma's Kheyala.

Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi's instruction to the children was, that ordinarily, on going to anyone's house,they should neither take anything that may be given to them to eat nor accept anything else offered to hem. Ofcourse, when invited, there was no objection in accepting anything offered. In the circle of special friends, one'sbehaviour should be as due to a family member. As for Ma, all these biddings too were carried out to the letter;(but), as to how She would act when there was any special Kheyala, was, of course, known to Her only.

One day Ma had gone out for a stroll in the Eastern locality. There, from one of the houses, a mother and herdaughter brought some mangoes of very good quality and solicited Ma pressingly to accept them. By no meanswhatsoever would Ma 'agree to accept them, and as She ran away, the girl too followed Ma to Her house andtried to offer those mangoes to Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi. Meanwhile, Ma too had run up and plucked afew mangoes from a tree within Her house. Returning just then, (and offering the mangoes to the girl), She said,from the stalk onwards and up to a certain length, it (the mango) is green and yellow, side by side along withthick stripe, and the remaining part is of green colour, but ripe.

"Look, She added, you all do not have such a variety of mango, so please take them."

The girl took the mangoes with joy and turning them around (in her hand) began observing their unusual colour,which, it was reported, was so wonderful that it could not be' described. Mangoes of such quality were not therein anyone's house, and it was, as if, in each mango, the two colours represented Sita-Ram, Radhey-Shyam - thedivine couples. This mango tree was in one corner of the house. Turning the mangoes in Her hand, Ma used toobserve their colour with great joy. So sweet to taste and so fragrant, a mango of such quality was not seenelsewhere

Graceful Manner of Wearing Clothes,

Cheerful Enthusiasm in Pattern of Movement

It is doubtful if Ma had even two good clothes to put on.

At that time, there was no question of use of frocks and trousers.

There was no washer-man at all; besides, where was the money to meet washing expenses? Occasionally, withsoda ash, and that too derived from the bark of a plantain tree or some other source, clothes were washed tosome extent in the homes of poor people. In this way too, there was no possibility of washing clothes very oftenbecause of the fear of their getting torn through repeated washing. Even when going out, Ma would put on thoseold and tattered garments, wrapping Herself neatly and swaying to and fro with joy.

In former days, the practice in every village in that region was that till the children could put on their clothesthemselves, (they remained without them)-the use of frocks and trousers was not at all current. During winter,someone would fold a piece of cloth, wrap it over the child's body and tie the two ends around the neck.

When the child could move about well, it was, perhaps, given a cloth then. Sometimes the child put it on byitself, wrapped it around the body and then kept it aside. So long as the child was of the age when it was notobligatory to keep clothe on all the time, this was the practice even while moving about and in play.

In those days in villages, this was usual with all children; juniors and elders, men and women-indeed none hadany sankoch (sense of immodesty) about it. At that time, it was not customary even with grown-up girls to puton stitched clothes such as a blouse, etc., (the sari serving as an all-purpose garment). Wearing of warm clothesand wrappers during the season for it - this was also not usual in those regions. In villages, the cold too was notsevere. Heat and cold were bearable. Men alone were seen putting on garments like shirt and coat, and these tooonly while coming to and going out of villages. Regarding electricity, there was no question at all of having itthere.

When Ma was a little grown up, on observing Her style of wearing clothes, someone would remark: "What abeautiful style of putting it on; except hands and feet, no other part of the body is exposed!" Perhaps noticingsomeone (whose body would be much exposed in comparison) be would say (to that girl): "Learn it(that style)!"

During Ma's movements, its pattern in Her own joyous style was such that it always naturally attracted affectionfrom all. Even through the dirty colour of the soiled and worn out cloth, the beauty and charm of the bright, faircomplexion of Ma would be enhanced.

One day someone gave a pair of anklets to Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi for Ma to put on and the formergot Ma to wear those anklets. Putting them on, Ma walked about nicely here and there. One day, addressing Hermother, Ma entreated: "Mother, if you permit, I may just take off these anklets." Thereupon the mother said:"No; why should you remove them, they look so nice? Let them be as they are on your ankles."

The reason behind Ma's request then came out. Pulling out the torn corner of Her wearing apparel and showing it(to Her mother), She said, as if timidly: "Just see, the anklet has torn this cloth." About this, what could Hermother say! (She only said): "Alright, move carefully." For fear that the cloth might get torn further, Ma would,while moving about, keep it raised (above the anklet). Afterwards, Her mother got Her properly dressed.

Kheora - Entire Village Ma's One Home.

Village Kheora was not a very big one. Among the inhabitants, there were, besides a few brahmin and a fewkayastha families, Muslims and other communities in greater number. In the Western locality, there were onlytwo brahmin families, one of whom was that of Bipin Bihari Mahasaya. At some distance, almost on three sides,there was the habitation of Muslims. During rains, water accumulated around two or three sides of the house,and just in front, there were Muslim houses. In the Eastern locality, there were dwellings of nine or ten Brahminfamilies and fourteen or fifteen kayastha families. Besides, there lived people of other castes too. While goingfrom the Western to the Eastern locality, one had to pass through a bit of field and jungle on both sides. Therewas another road too, a short-cut, through the premises of Muslim homes. Both these roads were used by Ma forcoming and going on Her way to the Eastern locality.

During Her stroll, Ma used to go to the houses of Muslims, some of which were located in the north and otherson the eastern and southern sides. Due to strict orthodoxy of those days, Thakurma and others had bidden Ma togo there before taking bath and to bathe after coming back. As for Ma, just as to a Hindu home so also wouldShe occasionally go to their homes too during Her stroll with due care in Her movements. On returning home,She would sprinkle Her body with water, to which Tulsi leaves had been added. As if the whole village itselfwas Her one home, Ma would, now and then, move about on foot, going to any place any time. But She wouldnot go alone on all occasions. Either Thakurma would be with Her or She would be in the company of someoneelse, who would call and take Her too. Also, on account of the village being the maternal home of ShriyuktBipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya, many indeed, among the Muslims too, would address him as nephew. Forthis reason, there was a good number among them who, in relation to Ma, had the status of Her grandfather andgrandmother. With them too, through esteem (for seniors) and talks in which there was undue liberty(permissible to a dear child), distinction of caste did not stand for Ma; the same equality was maintained inhumour and merriment.

From Door to Door in the Form of Karuna -

A Friend of Visva-Jagat and yet None to Anyone Anywhere

Why, in search of what, with what interest, and wearing sometimes, soiled, worm out clothes and at othcr times,beautiful apparel, and crossing through jungles and fields, there was this girl at the doors of all? Here, indeed,there was no distinction at all between old men and women, young boys and girls, boys and girls of the sameage-group and people of different communities.

Sometimes, perhaps, with Thakurma, or possibly, taking a child as company at another time, or again, on a rareoccasion, with the permission of parents, She would move out alone, dancing and singing as if in self-forgetfulness why, and for what purpose?

Any attraction for a particular friend of the same age-group, which the people could se---that too was absent inthis girl, indifferent to worldly interests. Any festival, amusement or the like, with its outward temptation,fascinating a child-mind, was not always there in the village. Then, hostility with anyone was certainly out ofquestion. Just as the world and the universe were Her friends, so also simultaneously there was, as if, none at allof Her own anywhere the One in great abstract mood, grave, calm, serene. Again, in Her own bhava, She would,sometimes, wander about, laughing, playing, dancing and singing in a low humming voice. (And then), saying afew words to the villagers while addressing them with a little smile, just this much! Was it only to give andreceive this little bit of alms of love that this girl moved about uninvited from door to door in different localities,maddening the entire village?

With what an extraordinarily profound and steady rhythm, eyes upturned sometimes, the style of movement inwalking reflected a divine bhava and attracted public attention. What lay hidden in it, what mystery, is knownonly to Him whose action it was! The bhava of movement in Her own innate style was by itself. This too that,within the realm of jiva-jagat, whatever may have occurred in the minds of some people, that which was seen (inMa) was not any kriya actuated by desire. Perhaps the attraction aspect was due to this. Indeed, Ma asks us nowand then to love Bhagavan. Undoubtedly, the realization of Bhagavan is realization of the Self. (And) surely, to

realize the Self is to realize Bhagavan.

That is, one has to know:

-"Who is the Self? - to realize this."

LILAS IN LATER YEARS

In the Play of Unattachment -

A Picture Attracting Reverence and Love.

After marriage Ma was once taken to Kheora from the house of Revati Babu (the eldest brother of Bholanathji)at Sripur. Wearing dul (a kind of earring) in the ear, ananta (a kind of armlet), bangles, bracelets on wrists andtaking younger sister Surabala and other brothers and sisters along with Her, Ma went strolling to the houses ofthose Muslims. After going around a good number of those houses, Ma came to one of them where the familycomprised boys and girls, daughters-in-law and many among them of the age of Ma's father. (Then), one ofthem asked Ma to let him have a look at Her ananta, bangles and bracelets. Ma took them off immediately andplaced them in his hands. While examining them, some members quietly went inside, placed these ornaments ina room, then returned and sat by Ma.

Ma too, after sitting for a while and remaining engaged in talk and humour, said,

"Now I shall leave."

The man who had taken the ornaments said: "Alright," without caring to return the ornaments. Ma kept smiling alittle and saying: "I shall go now itself." They too said: "Very well, you may go." But, about giving back theornaments, neither did they make any mention nor did Ma speak about them. Talk on different subjectscontinued in a spirit of much jollity. Ma, of course, used to sit in their courtyard and so She sat there on that daytoo as usual. (Then), getting up, She said: "It is quite late now". Saying his, as Ma moved a few steps, theybrought back those ornaments: ananta, bangles and bracelets, and giving them back in Ma's hand, said,

"Suppose we bad not returned them?"

Ma just smiled a little. Indeed, it never occurred to Her that all those ornaments had been given by Bholanath's(bridegroom's) family and these people were talking in that vein; what would have happened then (if they hadnot returned them)? No, there was not the least concern of this kind. What a simple hearted beautiful spirit oftrust! They went on discussing among themselves with comments on some such lines.

At Rishikesh - Mahatmas Drawn to Ma with Reverence

Even at present w see that there is no respite in the movements of Ma. Again, when it is Her Kheyala, then, ofcourse, there is the climax of non-mobility. While going for a walk, taking Bhaiji and two or three others in Hercompany, Ma used to pass in front of the kutias near Baudhara on the bank of Ganga at Rishikesh. Then, onsome rare occasions, She would even enter the kutia of some mahatma and sit inside in satsanga.

As a result of this within a short time, some among the mahatmas began to look upon Ma with great respect.Someone would invite Ma to visit his kutia and Ma too would call on him. Sonic would carry on a discussion toowith Ma on spiritual subjects.

The kutia of Nivrittinathji too was near that of Ma. He occasionally talked to Bhaiji and visited and satnear Ma sometimes. Swami Vigyananandaji, a disciple of Ramakrishna Math, also came very often. Heused to take Ma to his kutia, seat Her there and enter into a discussion on some spiritual matter. Helooked upon Ma with great respect. Other sadhus and samnyasis too would come and sit in Ma's kutiavery frequently.

Purnananda Swamiji also began making enquiries about Ma. He first sent his sannyi disciple and afterwards tookMa to his kutia and fed Her one day. On another day, he took Ma and seating Her with esteem had talks onspiritual subjects for quite sometime. After enquiring about Her kriya, etc., he came to Bhaiji and expressed hisgreat pleasure (for the blissful experience). He requested Ma to visit his kutia occasionally. One day he evencame himself to Ma's kutia. He would ask his sannyasi disciple to make shrikhand and malpoa, two items ofmilk preparation, and then would go and give these to Ma. One day, it was proposed that these items be preparedat Ma's place only and be given to Her. Indeed, he did so. Very often Purnanandaji would send him (his disciple)to Ma. He really looked upon Ma with great affectionate regards.

One day Swami Purnanandaji sent one of his disciples to Ma with the instruction to ask Her as to what She sawin Her dreams. Early in the morning, the disciple came to Ma and put that question to Her. In reply, Ma said,

"Undoubtedly, Baba has sent you with this question.

Do tell Baba that when one is in sleep, there is dreaming. Flow can there be the question of dreams wherethe question of even sleep has no place. In fact, the world is a waking dream whereas in sleep, there issleeping dream."

On receiving this reply through his disciple he expressed great pleasure. A question in a limited form had beenput to Ma and so indeed, had been Her reply.

Ma, of course, says : "There are many side issues in all such things."

One day Ma told that disciple: "Look, I just saw Purnananda Baba seated on his bed in his own bhava with acalm, cool and grave disposition, and a lady, in a red-bordered sari, standing outside the door and leaning in,while holding the door-leaf and looking at Baba."

Hearing this the disciple said: "Yes Ma, due to renouncing the worldly life by Maharajji, his wife of formerorder of life courted unnatural death on her own; very likely, it was she only." Of course, Ma had not heard fromanybody anything about the former order of Maharajji's life.

We feel that only a jeweller can recognise a precious stone.

And if the jeweller is a right one, he alone can estimate the worth of a jewel. These who really know, for themwhere is the distinction between man and woman? This, indeed, is what one realises while having continuedassociation of Ma.

Addressing Ma with respect by mahatmas is pleasing to us.

And, where the offering of respect is in its true form, there it is all that one can desire. Where is that greatexperience in us to understand it (the significance of that respect)? And, is it possible to comprehend all this inthis way through mere book learning? It is only by associating with mahatmas that we have experienced the littlewhich we have. Where that realization really is, how can there remain any question of (distinction between) manand woman, and different communities.

In reply to a question, Ma has said that whatever little development of Shakti takes place in anyone, it is inaccordance with that much only and in the light of that Shakti that one sees, understands and speaks inregard to a particular subject.

Waking,

dreaming,

deep sleep-these are the three states of jiva, when he is in bondage.

The course of human life is nothing but a cyclic rotation of these three states. Besides these, there is afourth state which is called Turiya.

This is the state of liberated jiva.

Turiya - it is an awakening devoid of dreaming and deep sleep. This, in fact, is the eternal awakening, where thequestion of awakening and absence of awakening has no place.

Among these three states, there exists a relationship of exclusiveness. That is, during the waking state, the othertwo states of dreaming and deep sleep are absent; in the dreaming state, waking and deep sleep are not there,and in deep sleep state, there is absence of the other two states.

But the Turiya state is not like this. It is pure, without any mal (i.e., without attributes), absolute.

Here the sadhaka Himself in Himself is in repose in the Self.

This is the state of Svarupa of jiva according to a particular outlook. This is-by following the path directed bythe Guru-what Ma says, attainment, according to his course of sadhana, of that which was not attained before.

In reply to the question by Swami Purnananda, pointing this state of Svarupa, it has been stated-no question ofdreaming and deep sleep.

But Ma is all states, absence of states; where there is no question of state, absence of state-say what you may, itis that.

Therefore,

being all too,

it is nothing,

being nothing as well,

it is all being - THAT alone.

CHILD MA'S KARUNA

- VIBHUTI - A PLAY BY ITSELF

Elderly person�s Hand prints from a Child's Hand

Reverting to the subject ill the context of Ma's childhood, many a deed of Ma sometimes did appear to beunusual compared to Her age. At Vidyakut, one day Ma's aunt (wife of the elder brother of Ma' father) asked Mato plaster (with cow dung) the oven and floor of one room. Ma was, then, of very small age. Removing Herclothes, She plastered the floor of the room. Afterwards, Her aunt called everybody and told them : "Look, howbig are the hand-prints in the plastering. It is as if some elderly person has done it. How could it happen withsuch a small hand!" They were surprised and went on discussing it among themselves.

In the Play of Unfolding Sandhya-Kriya�

At Kheora, a relation of Ma, of the status of a grandmother, received spiritual initiation and after that the Guruwent back to his home. Although the age of that lady was approximately about thirty years at that time, yet shetreated Ma as a friend. She was illiterate and could not retain anything in her mind.

On account of this, she started learning sandhya-kriya (religious services observed thrice daily: early in themorning, at noon and in the evening) and other mantras from Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi.

One day that grandmother told Ma: "Look, I have forgotten again the kriyas of hand (anganyas). It is not rightthat I should trouble your mother so very often. Now, you tell me what I should do. Ma smilingly showed hersomething in quite an easy manner and said: "Why not do like this?" Of course a question may arise as to whydid the elderly grandmother approach such a little girl (Ma's age was then about nine or ten years) for thisinstruction?

It is possible that in dealing with Ma, many, sometimes, could not keep in mind the difference in age; theyforgot it.

About Ma, of course, the elomelo is, surely, there. But they could not realize this also at that time, and thishappened in the same way on both sides, as if, in a strange manner. When this grandmother told MokshadaSundari Devi all this afterwards, she remarked: "From where has She learnt all this. She had explained verycorrectly indeed!" She called Ma and enquired about it. Ma said,

"Hearing tile words of the grandmother, all that just occurred by itself in the body."

Mokshada Sundari Devi kept on looking at Ma for a while, and then, as if with something like snubbing a littlesaid: "How could this possibly take place in you by itself?

One must not joke with mantras and the like; it may turn one mad.

As if this is a matter to truffle with!

This is not good for little ones."

Bangles Slipped in Elder's Hand -

A Dextrous Play

On another day, the same grandmother who had enquired of Ma about anganyas, etc., brought a pair of banglesmade of shell (which she wanted to wear). However, no one was able to help her to do so. The pair of bangleswas very much to her liking, and on failing to put it on her hand, she was sitting sorrowfully. Noticing this, Matold her with a smile: "Come grandmother, I shall help you to wear it." She replied: "None, indeed, has beenable to do so, you alone have remained to do it. Very well, try", and pointing out a particular spot in her hand,she said: "This is where it gets stuck." Ma took the pair of bangles and slipped them on the hands of thegrandmother quite easily, whereupon she exclaimed: "How could you manage to slip it Oil such big hands asmine with such small hands of yours and also do all that without the least awareness on my part!" All thosepresent there kept on looking at Ma and speaking, one did not know what, to one another, among themselves.

TI4urnph of Truth in the Pattern of Taking Place by Itself All loved Ma right from Her very childhood.When Ma visited Her maternal uncle's home, eight or ten girls of the same age-group from the neighbourhoodwould play taking Ma in their company. They were aware of the fact that if anyone enquired of Ma about anymatter, Ma would openly disclose everything. For this reason, if there was anything secret between themconcerning the game, they would not divuig it to Ma and remain careful while talking too about anything to Her.On many an occasion they would make Ma 'Raja', 'Budi'* in the play and seat Her on one side. Sometimes theyformed a group and collectively tried to defeat Ma (in some other game). But in the course of events theythemselves were beaten and found that they had made fools of themselves. On the other hand, leaving themalways to their deliberations, Ma remained aloof in Herself without being in the least interested in winning orlosing.

An Indian game played by children. First of all they select one from among themselves to act as 'Raja (King) or'Budi' (old woman), and give that person a seat at a fixed place. The children, then, divide themselves into two rivalgroups. One of them is given the rcle of defence and the other that of offence. The job of this group is to manage toinfilterate through the defence and touch the Raja/Budi. If any one of this group succeeds in reaching the Raja-Budiwithout being touched by any member of the other group, then the former is declared winner. If, however, in theattempt to infilterate, even one man is touched by any member of the defensive group, then the former loses the game.

Loss of Son Disclosed to Child Ma

- Mental Agony Alleviated.

At Kheora, once a boy died in a certain house.

That house was in the Eastern region and located at the farthest end of the village. The residents of the housewere a class of people called Acharya Biahmins, who used to make in clay the images, etc., of deitiesworshipped in the village. With a Kheyala known only to Ma, She went alone at that moment during themorning hours and appeared at a house adjoining theirs. There was loud and bitter weeping in the other house,and standing in this (the neighbour's) house, Ma was observing intently the condition of that boy after death.Next day, Ma went to that house (of the deceased). Of her own accord, the bereaved mother kept on speakingout from her heart about this bereavement to Ma, although Ma was of such a small age. Standing there, in whatmood was Ma hearing, while looking at their faces, She only knew. But it was noticed that the intensity of theirgrief became as if somewhat alleviated. They repeatedly entreated Ma to come again.

Due to this incident only, intimacy of Ma with this family grew a little.

KHEYALA OF KARUNA TOWARDS PLANT WORLD

Conversation with Trees.

While moving in a body with Her companions, specially at Sultanpur, Ma sometimes conversed with trees in themanner of talking to a human being - moving the mouth and shaking the head with a smiling face.

Noticing this strange action of Ma, they were struck with amazement and sometimes possibly became frightenedtoo. The reason for fright was that they noticed that when Ma conversed with trees, the trees too, then, appearedto shake a little. Besides this, the companions could not understand anything more.

It is heard that Mahapurusha (saints) possibly live in the form of trees, but none knows what it was in thepresent case. Again, occasionally, to make fun, they would entreat Ma :

"Would you please show your queer manners once more just now ?"

Exactly as they feared Ma, so also they had a special liking too for Ma, all loved Her as well. Without Ma'scompany in any activity, they felt cheerless and could hardly do without Her.

Fruits Offered to Ma-A Mango Tree's Seva: Its Last Birth?

The father-in-law of that grandmother in whose hand Ma had slipped on the shell bangles, was the uncle of Ma'sThakurma. Their house and that of Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya (Ma's father) only these two houses-werein one place in the Western sector. Just near their houses, there was an old mango trees.

On one side of the tree, its branches were dry without any leaves, etc. Some other sides were green to someextent and bore some mangoes too in the mango season. They had a big mango garden there which gave themplenty of mangoes to their entire satisfaction.

If any mango dropped and remained there till even putrefied at the foot of this lone old tree, nobody cared totake any particular notice of it. But occasionally that tree would perhaps attract Ma to its foot, and if during themango season, Ma found mangoes lying at its foot, She would bring and give them to Mokshada Sundari Devi.If old Thakurma found mangoes there, she too picked them up and preserved them in the house. When they wereripe, then, at the right time, she fed Ma too with them. We have heard from Ma's mouth that the mangoes of thattree had such a nice fragrance and were so sweet to taste that such variety was hardly even seen at all. But theowners of the house had not even the least appreciation of this.

In the context of the subject mentioned above, Ma incidentally said,

"Look, surely they are in numerous forms and keep in mind that they complete their final birth in theform of trees too."

(Now) who was that great one, who, escaping the sight of all, had remained all alone on one side in the form ofthis dry tree? Did he fulfil his final birth with his successful seva of Ma by offering Her fragrant and sweetfruits?

In the Form of Insentient and Invisible - Who all they?

Associates of Ma?

Absorbed with Herself In what Play?

At that age of Ma, Her behaviour was, indeed, somewhat unusual. A mere child, She would, say, be going alongon a road to someone's house or to any other place and coming back all alone. Sometimes, then, while movingabout alone, it would generally be an easy, free movement. Occasionally, the eyes would be upturned too, andcontinuing with up-surging movements, She would go on jumping, laughing, running and sometimes, again,perhaps taking something in hand, She would be throwing it up and catching it back. Also, with a rhythm too ofa dancing pose, She would sometimes sing with a low humming voice or loudly. Perhaps, again, during Hermovement too, She would stand motionless or walk slowly and keep on talking with much laughter to the earth,trees, etc. Also, sometimes picking p such thing as branches, leaves and flowers of trees, She would wrap Herbody with them, and with what affection, love and caress, She would indulge in for them, as if She never wentabout without a companion at all. If there was nothing else, then breeze, wind, sky and void were surely there asHer companions.

With vibration sustained by movements of hands and feet, She kept on moving about with great joy, whilejumping, laughing and playing in the company of breeze only. Or sometimes, remaining in one particular area,She would loiter about this way and that for quite a while. Sometimes with both hands raised upwards orhalfway up, and at other times, keeping them hanging downwards, one on each side, She would spin like a top.Or She would move on, sometimes waving to and fro, right and left, in four directions and sometimes keepingthe eyes upturned and both hands hanging loosely. When during Her movements She came within the sight ofpeople, She would attract their attention. All this was, of course, heard from Giriji's mouth too. Absorbed in whatsort of play with Herself by Herself, is known to Her only. Are the activities of small boys and girls like this; isa like of it ever observed in the case of anyone? Some people would say,

'Whatever She does and the way She does it during Her movements, indeed, in all that, there is, as if,sweetness-the glorious glamour of beauty.'

And when, again, She would be calm, She would turn into a statue so grave, as if, there was not the least trace ofrestlessness any time, certainly, none at all. Her gravity would remain absolutely unimpaired. Someone would(then) address Ma as an earthen pot. When this state was there then it definitely did not continue only for a shortduration.

Perhaps She had no dearth of friends at any time. Again, She was lonely without any companion; steady, self-composed and disinterested, with Her gaze also fixed towards the sky, as if She had no bondage of any bondageat all. Others also definitely noticed this. Looking at Ma with Her face turned upwards, Mokshada Sundari Devioften called Her 'camel-faced'. On hearing this (term), Ma looked at the picture of a camel in a children's book.

Sometimes Ma would walk haltingly as if She were specially talking endearingly to friends, and would likewisebe engrossed in lively conversation accompanied with laughter. But whom did She talk to? Who was Hercompanion? Someone invisible too? If somebody arrived suddenly when She was in those bhavas, then perhaps,

because of the bhava of the new arrival, She would quickly be transformed into a gentle, quiet, obedient anddocile girl.

ANTS AND ANIMALS �

FRIENDS AND COMPANIONS

Ants--Dealings, Conversations,

as if Ma their Great Companion

Sometimes Ma treated birds and beasts too with the same bhava.

They used to look at Her face in such a way, nodding their heads this way and that, as if they understood whatMa was saying and Ma too would reciprocate as though they were known to one another from eternity. Evenwith insects like ants in rows, She was, as if, one with them. She would start talking and dealing with them withlaughter and sometimes conversing with them loudly. She would jump, beckon and look for them, as if Ma wastheir great friend.

This would go on for quite sometime. After having done all this, She would never look back in any directionwhen She left.

With Her, making and unmaking were, as if simultaneous affairs

Wild Animal in Village Jungle

'Darshan Given to whom, with what Kheyala.

One day at Kheora, a little before dusk, Ma was going to the tank to fetch water. Suddenly, with what Kheyala,one does not know, She ran towards the jungle, peeped through a narrow way and returned immediately.

Never before or after this incident had She stooped a little and looked into the jungle like this. When She cameback home with water, She told Mokshada Sundari Devi,

"I have seen in the jungle at quite a close distance, an animal much bigger than a large dog with blackand white marks, know not what they were, on its body. It stood calmly and quietly facing south-west."

Ma had entered that narrow lane, a short distance from the south. Hearing the frightening story, MokshadaSundari Devi said: "What animal did you see with black and white patches? Never go alone that side. No onehas heard that an animal with such colours has ever been seen in the jungle of this village." Who knows who itwas in an animal's garb to whom Ma had granted darshan!

In the meantime, during the Indian month of Magh (Jan.-Feb.), the old grandmother used to take Ma daily for abath in the tank in the early dawn when it was still dark. It was a religious observance to bathe just beforesunrise. A vow of Maghmandal had been taken, and as such, Ma had to bathe, well before sunrise in early dawnand observe other disciplines. (To go to the tank), they had to pass by that jungle. About fear, where was theroom for it?

Herd of Cows - Ma one of Them,

Friend and Companion with Love and Joy

Sometimes it so happened at Sultanpur, when Ma was there at the house of Her uncle that She would be walkingon a road between two stretches of water, and a herd of cattle would also, perhaps then, be coming from theopposite direction. Ma would be accompanied by Her playmates with Sushila Masima* as one of them.

Sushila Masima was Ma's cousin, older by one year and Her childhood playmate, who had become a child-widow and was later initiatedby Bholanath. Afterwards, she used to cook bhog, etc., to be offered at the temple at Dehra Dun, and later became a sannyasi with thename Shudhananda. She breathed her last at the Ashram at Kankhal. Before she died, her eyesight had gradually become very weak. So,when Ma went to see her shortly before her end, she had to keep her eyes very close to Ma's face to see Her. Doing that, she had kept onlooking at Ma for a long time and then said, am not able to see clearly."

Afterwards, with great effort, she had remarked: "Yes, I am now able to see a little." Before leaving, Ma told her: "One must livecarefully. After all, this body has to disappear one day." Then Ma had enquired: "May I leave now?" Speaking in a strange tone, she hadreplied: "You may leave now - how can I say this?" Before Ma's visit, she had not been able to speak anything for several days. Everyone felt amazed to see her talking to Ma. It was as if Ma never allowed this companion of Hers to become attached to and be entangledin desires for worldly pleasures. She drew her to the path leading to (the Self as) her own Objective.

These companions used to clap and tell Ma: "Look out, there it is, the entire herd of cattle with raised heads ismoving towards you only, and in an instant will definitely fall upon you! In order to frighten Her, they used totease Her like this. It was seen that the herd did actually make its headway towards Ma. Ma would not knowwhere to go, whether to enter water or to keep to the road and let the herd pass by.

Finally, She would move on the road along with the cattle in love and happiness, as if She was their friend andcompanion.

Her companions would clap and laugh at Ma's predicament and themselves would escape, running away. Thenthe farm boys would rush, and with a lot of difficulty take the cattle away from Ma.

Ma's pattern of movement was such that She was definitely one of them. Lots of such anecdotes were heardfrom Mokshada Sundari Devi. She would wonder at times :

"What sort of a girl She is? Her actions are mysterious. Sometimes She laughs all alone. Whom does She talkto?"

She often asked Ma "Who was it you talked to, laughed with?"

Ma would then turn grave and look vacantly at her face.

Dogs Forget Fighting, Seeing Whom

(One day) dogs were seen fighting on the road. Perhaps a passer-by was there and felt much distressed. Rushingsuddenly from somewhere towards the dogs and looking at them with a peculiar smiling pose, Ma made thegesture of picking up something from the ground. Then, making the dogs the target, She directed Her close-fisted hand towards it and opened it. Was it dust only in Her hand or just air?

This was known to Ma alone, whose play it was!

But it made the dogs forget their quarrel, and they stood aside looking at the face of Ma.

REPTILES

- THEY ALSO HER OWN

There was a very tall mango tree within the boundary of Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya's house.The weight of every mango of this tree was more or less one seer (about 1 kg.). Even the name of the tree was'Seer-Khaiya' (eater of one seer). Once, while coming from the Eastern part of the village, Ma had noticed amango lying under this tree. The moment Ma saw it, She had the Kheyala that Mokshada Sundari Devi would bevery pleased to have it.

Ma, then, began jumping about as She proceeded (towards the tree) to get it. She was, at that time, all alone, soShe moved about jumping.. There, on the way, at the foot of the tree, was a huge poisonous snake. The spaceunder the tree was quite broad, but the snake was lying there from one end to another blocking the way. Therewas no space to pass on either side.

A reddish tinge emitted from the face and eyes of the snake. The eyes were shining bright and the snake

probably raised its head from the ground to notice Ma. Ma did not stop, but jumped over the snake, picked upthe mango, jumped back and went home and gave the mango in the hands of Mokshada Sundari Devi.

She was certainly pleased to get the mango but was rather worried to hear of the snake, pondering as to whoknows what this simple girl may do any time!

Again, on another day, at the house of Ma at Kheora, there was another snake, which, after entwining itself inthe branches of a mango sapling, was staring with the same brightness in its face and eyes. Ma went a little closeand stood watching it for sometime. There was mutual exchange of glances between them, as if snakes were alsolike Ma's friends. After that She came and reported the incident happily to Her mother. Shriyukta MokshadaSundari Devi was naturally rather worried about Ma.

This particular snake was believed to be living there time and again. Nobody knows what relationship was therebetween Ma and that snake.

VARIOUS OTHER ASPECTS

OF MA'S CHILDHOOD LILA

Singing of Gopigiti* in Soul-stirring, Rhythmic,

Melodious Voice as felt by Listeners

In Her childhood, occasionally (as we know), Ma travelled from Kheora to Vidyakut. Once at Vidyakut, Ma,then a small child of about four or five years, was moving about. Jumping with up-surging strides along the sideof a tank while singing aloud at the top of Her voice the (love) songs of the gopi* of Vrindaban.

The songs were composed of the following verses:

1. The lover, revealing in time,

Is now separated from her beloved.

Spring, the happiest time for union,

Has become the spring of death

In her earthly existence.

Courting for Love only,

In pangs indeed,

Like one who is mad!

(She had) gone and appeared

In the Royal Court of Sri Krishna (the Beloved)

Alas, like one who is mad!

2. A Bahut-catching crocodile (Krishna)

Has appeared in river Yamuna.

'Bahu is being carried away'

'Bahu is being carried away',

A row is raised in milkmen's quarter.

Moving from house to house,

(He) takes away bahus and daughters

From the locality,

And makes them move in rows to the river.

Dada, be on your guard to protect your Bahu,

Who knows, when one day,

The black crocodile (Krishna) may devour her up!

*Gopi - the wife or daughter of a milkman, a milkmaid, a milk-woman Copies ofVrindaban were the blessed lovers of the beloved black Krishna, who in these songs isgiven the epithet 'girl-catching crocodile' of river Yamuna. The love of gopies is lookedupon as the highest form of the timeless divine love, and the songs that convey this loveare called Gopigiti. In Krishna lila (divine play of Lord Krishna), the timeless gopies, intheir divine role on earth, reveal and function within time.

When Ma crossed the road and came near the house, an uncle of Ma, Shriyukt Rasik Chandra Bhattacharya happened to ask someone:"Who is that who sang this song-such beautiful high-pitched melodious voice with rhythmic tune!" He had been listening attentively, beingas if charmed with the voice. (Just then) Ma came running and frisking, about, and burst into bubbling laughter. That uncle embraced Herfondly and said: "You! You sang this song! Where did you learn it from?" He was dumbfounded, amazed. Ma often sang loudly a fewverses with a soul-stirring high-pitched voice.

Possession, Throwing Away �

The Same Ananda

One day at Sultanpur, Sushila Masima put a copper ring on Ma's finger.

On seeing it, Shriyukt Mokshada Sundari Devi said: "it will be a great sin if you tell a lie after wearing thisring."

Ma replied: "There is never any falsehood here."

She (Mokshada Sundari Devi) said: "It would be a sin even to tell a lie unmindfully.'

Ma replied: "Alright, there can never be any mistake."

Even then Mokshada Sundari Devi said: "There is no need to keep this ring at all." Therefore, Ma took it off Herfinger and threw it in a nearby pond.

Even this was a great pleasure for Her.

Everybody knew that Ma never uttered a lie. Therefore, if anyone wanted to find out the veracity of anystatement and if Ma had been present on that occasion, She would be interrogated and Her version accepted asabsolute truth.

The very basis of sadhana is truth.

As for Ma, truth is, of course, there in Her innate bhava.

All Ma's Own - Strangers, Even Fallen Woman too.

The step-turn of Ma's nose had been pierced and She had been made to wear a nose ring some time back. Ahole was also now bored in the nose to wear a rose-pin. The ear-lobes were pierced for wearing ear tops, etc.

At one time, on the occasion of Durga Puja, Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya, taking Ma with him,set out one afternoon from Kheora for his sister's home in Vikrampur. The journey was performed initially onfoot and later by boat. Ma was about seven to eight years old at that time.

While moving by boat, they arrived at a spot when it was dusk, and Bhattacharya Mahasaya arranged for Ma tosleep at an acquaintance's place. Later on, he got puri* and mohanbhog to feed Ma.

This was perhaps the first time that Ma had tasted Mohanbhog.

* puri, an Indian preparation, is made principally of wheat flour which is firstconverted into dough and then flattened to round pieces of varying sizes andfried in clarified butter.

Mohanbhog or Halva is a sweet and delicious Indian preparation made fromwheat flour, sugar and ghee.

The father said (to Ma): "This is Mohanbhog, eat it with puns."

Ma ate a little and later, he also had some.

The next day, when they arrived at the (steamer) station in the morning, Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharyalearnt that the steamer would arrive late. So he decided to buy some provisions for cooking. It was dawn, the sunwas up and he was walking along the bank of the river with Ma. On the way was a quarter for professionalwomen of easy virtue. Among them an elderly woman came near Ma with great eagerness to talk to Her andtouch Her lovingly. It was a strange feeling!

Father was walking ahead, the daughter close behind. Ma too was, as if, like one of their own, and suddenlystopped on the way. "What is your name, where are you going, will you eat something, etc."- in various suchexpressions, conveying intense love, that woman continued talking, standing there only. And (all this was) withsuch a feeling, indeed, as if Ma was so much of her own, and if she could, she would have taken Ma to herhome. Ma uttered Her name, refused to eat anything and said She was going to Her aunt's house with Her father.Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya was buying something from a shop close by and was not carefulabout Ma for a while. Afterwards, he asked Ma: "Why are you standing there? Come here, let us proceed", andtook Her with him.

(How can we know) what traits of character anyone has?

Attempt should be made to understand Ma's ways. She alone knew what transpired, what She received and whatShe bestowed in Her dealing with a stranger She came across on the road. But, while moving away as far as onecould see, that woman had her eyes fixed on Ma. She felt hurt that Ma was leaving, as if someone very close wasgoing away. All this came also to the notice of Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya. The steamer arrived on timeand it was noticed that the woman had come again and was standing near Ma, a little away with a forlorn face.

It was clear that she had come only to see Ma.

With a sad feeling, she enquired of Ma: "Are you going away now itself?" Ma replied in the affirmative with alittle smile. Meanwhile, Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya, holding Ma's hand, took Her aboard the steamer.When Ma boarded it, that woman felt extremely unhappy, and standing there with that feeling, went on lookingat the steamer so long as she could see it.

A Big Fire - Kheyala of Karuna, Fire Extinguished.

The steamer reached the destination. The house of Ma's aunt was at some distance from that place and one hadto cover a part of it on foot. It was dusk, darkness was approaching, and as they walked on, at quite a distance, abig fire was seen. They were walking and Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya, while moving in thedark, kept on talking a little to Ma.

"Certainly, it is a strain to walk, but the house now is close by" - he was speaking in such a vein. Pointingtowards the fire, Ma told Her father: "Father, what must be the condition of the inmates of the house which is onfire?" So saying She kept quiet and stood staring at the fire.

Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya asked Ma: "Why have you stopped? Let us proceed."

Walking along, Ma told Her father,

"Look, look, father, the fire is getting extinguished!"

He said: "Yes, it is really so; such a big fire being put out so fast!"

This Ananda! On Seeing what?

On Receiving What?

On deciding to spend the night (somewhere) Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya went to a family residence nearby, with the head of which he was already on intimate terms. Durga Puja was being celebrated there. The ladiesof the house shouted in joy:

"We have the goddess Durga Herself amongst us."

They were so happy to have Ma that they started picking up and holding Her joyfully in their arms.

What did they see?

What did they get and what did they understand which gave them such a feeling? They did not know how toexpress their love and affection for Her. They called their neighbours and showed Ma to them. Responding totheir feelings, Ma also became just one of them and did not spend that night with Her father. The next morningthey bade Ma farewell with a very heavy heart after dressing Her up in new clothes.

No one knows as to what all was awakened in their minds.

Fruit of One's Action

-Who was It whom you planned to Cheat?

The next day Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya and Ma reached Tantar, his sister's residence. Theywere also celebrating Durga Puja, and were very pleased to have Ma among them. Three closely related auntsof Ma lived in that village. Two other aunts, distantly related, lived next door. Ma was taken round the villagefrom one end to another and was picked up in arms with joy by the relations. Here also Ma made everyonehappily enthusiastic.

With all the children of the family, this was how Ma was there.

As for Ma Herself, whatever Her nature was., the same was there at the houses of Her aunts too.

Just to outwit Ma, one of Her cousins brought a piece of cinnamon from the house and another (similar looking)piece of bark of a tree from somewhere. Her intention was to give the ordinary bark to Ma and eat the cinnamonherself, as is done in a play.

It was seen, however, (to her discomfiture) that the piece Ma had in Her mouth was cinnamon, while the onewhich the cousin had herself was the ordinary bark.

What actually happened and how, only the One who had brought it about knew!

Later, when the aunt heard about it, she reprimanded her daughter much. The girl also promised that she wouldnever do it again. Minor incidents like this often took place even during play, but the bond of love witheverybody remained unimpaired.

No Kheyala for Food, clothing, etc.,

but Polluted Food not Acceptable

Ma never complained or bothered about food and clothing as well as any other thing that was available any time.Both the mother and father felt specially attracted towards Ma. When father went out somewhere, he would askMa. "What shall I bring for you?" Many a time he would be quite insistent. Occasionally, because of hisinsistence, Ma would say: "You may bring whatever you like," while at other times She would remain silent, asif She had nothing at all to say. Sometimes when peddlers selling their wares, such as bangles and anklets, cameto the locality, children ran about and pestered their parents with all sorts of demands.

But Ma never had any kheyala for such things.

Never, on any day, did the words, 'I am hungry' come out of Ma's mouth.

She had to be called and fed during meal times. Others ask for varieties of eatables from their mothers, but Manever had such a tendency. Imitating children of the same age-group, Ma once asked Her mother, 'Please giveme something to eat."

She replied: "Help yourself, the food is there."

Ma was not accustomed to taking anything Herself. In spite of that, because of mother's instructions, She keptgoing that side and coming back. When the mother saw Her doing this twice or thrice, she came and served foodto Ma herself.

It is said that Ma could not stand (digest) the food which had be-come polluted or was served by someone whoviolated the customary rules of diet. Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi would say that if anything like thishappened, Ma would suffer from some kind of illness, may be even a little. That was why Ma had to be lookedafter carefully. In the context of such topics with neighbours some among them would tell Mokshada SundariDevi: "Yes, some children cannot stand violation of the established practice in regard to food and drink."

Amusing Aspect in Ma's Play of Obedience

- Broken and intact, Forms of the Same

One day in the morning, when Ma was a small child, She was going to the pond to wash utensils. MokshadaSundari Devi then said: "You are going with the stone-bowl; move carefully and (added ironically) if you can,bring it back only after it is broken."

Perhaps Ma spoke to trees while She was walking.

The bowl, then, suddenly slipped from Her hands and broke. She picked up the pieces carefully, washed themand after bringing them back home along with other utensils, stood in the courtyard.

Seeing (Her), Mokshada Sundari Devi spoke a little loudly: "You have done just what I had predicted."

Ma replied: "My hands were a bit unsteady and so it fell and broke. But I did pick up all the pieces and havebrought them along."

On this Her mother started laughing while covering her face with her sari, and, then, looking at Ma tried to makea show of reprimanding Her a little loudly. Ma stood there perplexed like a simpleton. Mokshada Sundari thensaid: "Foolish girl can broken pieces of a stone-bowl be fixed again! Bhagavan only knows what will happen tothis Girl!"

As we know, there were Muslim families on three sides and even behind the bamboo bushes. They used earthenutensils also, but not stone utensils. A burnt sore heals up, without even leaving a white mark behind, if it issmeared with a thick sandalwood-like paste made by rubbing one flint-stone piece against another. Ma had seenmembers of Muslim families asking for stone pieces and taking them away.

Was it because of this that Ma had collected and brought back the stone pieces?

Did Ma consider this aspect more important? What if the bowl was broken, but surely, the broken pieces wouldhelp in healing burnt sores. It did not make any difference to Her whether the bowl was broken or was a wholepiece.

Ma was called a simpleton (a straight one) by some people around. Her youngest maternal uncle had oncepresented Her a brass pitcher. (So) one day, Ma filled that pitcher with water and carrying it' on Her waist,brought it to Her mother and said: "Mother, people say I am straight, see now I am crooked!"

Didima�s Despair and Hope: Her Prophecy About Ma .

This is what was often revealed in Ma's actions. Ultimately, it was seen that if Mokshada Sundari Devi had tosay anything to Ma, the former had to explain it in minute details. This was because Ma would do exactly whatShe was told to do. Some sort of a strange bhava was always there in Ma's physical body; it could be seen, so Ihave heard. As a result, in her day-to-day life, She used to only follow instructions. However, whatever She didwas perfect. Again, this was also observed that if some work was in Her Kheyala, Her whole attention would bedirected towards it. On such occasions, She had no thought about Her physical existence.

When Ma noticed someone sewing or making articles out of bamboo or cane, She Herself would also sometimesmake a variety of things in different designs according to those samples. All would be amazed to see that andwould say,

"Everything about the little simple girl is strange!"

When Ma was about ten or twelve years old, at that time too, Mokshada Sundari Devi would tell Ma sometimes:"You have not studied anything, nor have you learnt the household chores; Bhagavan only knows how you willpass your days!"

And when she saw how neatly Ma stitched, how nicely She performed any other work of such a type, how wellShe cooked - in fact, whatever work She was entrusted with anytime, She did so well that Mokshada SundariDevi would heave a sigh of relief and exclaim: "This is very well done, in-deed, even I couldn't have done it sowell. There is nothing to worry; with Bhagavan's grace you will be able to do everything to meet the needs."

MA'S SCHOOL EDUCATION

Ma at School � All-knowing, What a Student!

One would really have to find out whether Ma had a total of even two or three months of schooling between thetwo places Kheora and Sultanpur! The small school at Kheora was quite far. Later on, due to ill health ofbrothers and also because Ma could not go to school alone-for various such reasons, She could not attend schooleveryday. At home too, there was no atmosphere at all for studies. At first, father brought a plank of wood from

somewhere and himself engraved on it the alphabet - Vowels and consonants-symbols of letters, conjunct letters,for the benefit of the children.

They were told to read those letters and were also asked to feel them with their fingers.

No one saw whether Ma spent even two or three days on touching letters or reading them. After that, gone wasthe plank, gone, again, was learning of lessons-in fact, there was no reading and writing at all!

No such opportunity too was available that one could sit with Ma and make Her properly pursue studies daily.

Once, at a tender age, Ma spent three months at Her maternal uncle's house (at Sultanpur). Then a copy of thebook Varna Panrichay - Pratham Bhag (introduction to Letters of the Alphabet-Part I) was bought for Her. Thiswas the first time She had started going to school with Sushila Masima. On the very first day, the teacherexplained to the two of them a certain lesson thoroughly and said: "Now, you two reed."

Sushila Masima could not read so well, but when the teacher heard Ma�s reading, he said "Good girl!" Hethought Ma had probably prepared the lesson beforehand. But this was pro probably the first time She had readin that manner. The older girls in the school were taught to recite nursery rhymes. Ma was made to sit with them.She came to Kheora after this.

At Kheora, there was a small lower primary school. About ten or twelve girls studied there. The teacher at theschool was a distantly-related grandfather of Ma. Whether Ma was able to gain full knowledge of letters or notin this school, it was definitely the end of studying this book. A half-torn book named Balyashiksha (InfantEducation) was then brought from somewhere and given to Ma.

After reading it or not reading it for three or four days She got another book named Shishu Shiksha (childEducation). The study of that book too was not completed. There were four girls in the senior class. Though Mawas the youngest, still, considering the unexpectedly efficient way in which She answered questions, the teacherput Her with the senior girls in the upper class. Was he able to understand what the secret was about Ma?

The four girls of the higher class had new books, slates and other things, whereas Ma had only the same tornbook and that too an old one, borrowed from someone.

As for slate, She had only a small piece of it with a broken corner, on which one could write only two orthree lines with difficulty and that too if the writing was in small letters.

Ma had practically no Kheyala to study.

She studied a little when She was sometimes asked to do so. There was no practice of regular daily studies or(we may say) that there was no study at all. When Her parents had the thought (and asked Her to study), Shewould look for the piece of slate and getting hold of it would sit under a neem tree in the morning sun and studyperhaps on one or two days. All the same it was seen that when Ma was asked a question at school, the answerwould definitely be there in Her Kheyala - before Her eyes.

At that time, the answer too would be absolutely correct.

No Question of Memory or Absence of it.

One day, on everybody's advice, Ma started for the school.

She was going alone through the fields. As She went along, perhaps on the way, She opened the book. She was not even aware as to howfar in the book She had studied with Her companions, as She was going to school after a long absence. Ma was not at all worried of the factthat meanwhile (during Her absence), Her classmates must have gone quite ahead and learnt new lessons. There was no question of strikingHer name off the rolls of the school, even if She was absent for a long time, because it was a small village school with a few girl students.Ma had no attachment for books or even the school.

She opened the book and looked at one place how questions and answers were given in it. No one had ever toldMa about this. That was the first day on which She had opened the book and seen Herself that questions andanswers were there in it. She, then, came and took Her seat in the class. And She was asked questions from thatvery place in the book. As a result, Ma answered (questions) so well that She who used to sit behind all, wasimmediately taken and seated in front of everyone in the same class. For other girls, that lesson was new and,therefore, they were unable to answer the questions so well. But in the case of Ma, questions were put fromwhatever She had seen with Her eyes while She was on the way (to school). So Her answers were correct. Thiswas the beginning and end of Her study in this particular class. The pattern of reading and writing of Ma waslimited to this much only.

While on this subject, Ma said,

"Understand all this in this way Suppose someone looks at a picture somewhere, then that 'picture' stays in theeyes. On recalling the subject of that picture, or on being asked questions about it, its description can be given.But there is no question of seeing or not seeing by Ma. This was true in the case of studies too. This alsohappened that questions were asked from the portions which the eyes of Ma had seen."

There is no question here at all of remembering or forgetting. We feel that it is svakrit (self-performed). Actioninitiated (by Ma) is with respect to the particular context and only as little as necessary. This is from the point ofview of our judgement only.

No Reading, Writing

-Yet Recipient of Praise.

One day, the Inspector of Schools came (to the school). All the girls went dressed in good clothes. Ma went inHer usual tattered and dirty clothes, as She had been wearing daily (at home), carrying Her old torn book and thepiece of broken slate. In a small village school, the number of students is negligible. So, when the schoolInspector visited, even Ma was taken to school to increase the number of students (on the roll that day). TheInspector arrived and pointing out a portion of the book, asked the well-dressed elder girls to read it one by one.

They read it haltingly.

Ma's turn came after all of them.

She read it out fluently as soon as She was asked to do so. After She had read five or seven lines, the Inspectorsaid: "Good, that is enough. You need not read anymore." After that She was asked to write and the teacher thenpresently borrowed a good slate from another girl and gave it to Ma for Her to write upon. It appeared that Maknew very well the portion the Inspector had asked Her to write. Seeing Ma's faultless writing, he praised it verymuch. The teacher was greatly surprised as this girl did not study, nor did She attend the school regularly. ButShe was the only one who was deservedly praised by the Inspector.

After this, perhaps, Ma's school-going ended completely.

A Lesson for Teacher.

The teacher of this school at Kheora died. A new school mistress started teaching in his place. She was also likea grandmother to Ma on the basis of village relationships. The inspector came again to this school. Ma had comeback to Kheora after a long stay at Her maternal Uncle's house (at Sultanpur).

When the mistress got this news, she called Ma in order to swell the number of students for the visit of theInspector and seated Her with all others. Ma was not bothered at all about studies at that time. When theinspector asked question, the mistress, standing outside the class-room and hiding herself from the Inspector,tried to indicate in some way tile answer to Ma.

On this Ma queried back loudly: "What? What?"

The teacher then bit her tongue and slipped away from there. All the same, Ma gave the correct answer, onedoes not know how, to what the inspector had asked. Late, addressing Ma affectionately, the mistress said: "Youare almost eleven, and even now you have no sense. Should you have talked the way you did ?"

Ma replied: "It is you who teach us not to tell a lie, but that, which was done secretly, was definitely lying!" Thisteacher breathed her last at Varanasi.

She had taken prasad for sometime from our Varanasi Ashram.

Divine Motherhood-Rules of Conduct that help reveal This in Woman:

In any Context-that very Form Ma.

Ma was growing up gradually, but without any sense of 'mine' and 'not mine', nor with any awareness ofdistinction between man and woman.

She moved about among all happily and playfully with child-like normalcy. As we know the homestead of thematernal uncle of Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya (Ma's father) was in village Kheora. Therefore, there were whowere many of the status of Ma's grandfather.

As a granddaughter, Ma received affection from every one in the village. Many among them had brought up Ma,holding Her in their laps and carrying Her on their shoulders. They always treated Ma with great affectionbecause of Ma's nature. Ma used to spend Her days like child in a relationship of love and in taking undueliberties with these people.

One day She was passing by one of them who was one (of the numerous) grandfathers.

He took water from a jug and sprinkled a little on Ma.

According to the village custom, this was an affectionate playful joke between a granddaughter and grandfather.At that time, of course, Ma went away quietly. (But) a little later, She brought a jug full of water, stood in onecorner and poured it in such a way that it all fell upon the grandfather. At the same time, She burst into loudlaughter and ran away immediately from that place. That grandfather felt embarrassed and startled, lookingaround for the person who had thrown water on him like this.

Seeing the water marks (on the floor), people there started talking amongst themselves as to how such smallhands could throw water over such a long distance. Thinking over this, they were a little surprised too. Thisgrandfather was Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya's maternal uncle and almost of his age.

Having come to know about this (incident), Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi told Ma:

"You are now a grown-up girl and it is not right for you to tease elders like this. You should not mix freely withall and sundry.

When a girl grows up, she should not even touch a man.

She should not cut jokes, nor romp about too.

A girl should not even look intently and talk to a man.'

From then onwards, there was such a transformation in Ma's ways as if She was another person - calmserious and composed in Her talks and movement everywhere as it took place by itself in each particularsituation.

In this chapter, Ma is in the form of a girl-child. In the context of a child, there are kriyas unfolding therespective patterns of a child. In the form of a girl too, the types of games, etc., were those with which we arefamiliar.

In the child form, in the girl form-in all the dealings and kriyas, She is a simple girl-child, but behind this formof simplicity, there is unfoldment of extraordinary bhava and kriyas in the mundane of the extra mundane.

On similar lines was the school education of Ma. It is noticed that in every case, the subject of the lesson wasalready known to Her as Lt were-no study, nor any dependence on it.

This sort of knowing, reflecting a keen talent pertaining to empirical world - with one reading through a glanceonly, the subject matter becomes known-it is not like that. However, it has got its own place too and Ma can bein that play as well. But in the case of Ma, all these are Svakrita (what is done is the self) that is, She Herself isHer own kriya-in the form of knowing too, it is She alone. No question of recollection and forgetfulness ; they,of course, pertain to the kingdom of mind.

In the state of a yogi as well, this kind of knowing is possible. The power of a yogi has been attained which wasunattained before. But in the case of Ma, there is no question of attainment, no attainment. Whatever is presentat any time, Ma is in that form-Herself in Herself in Her own Kheyala.

We have already noticed that the words Svakriya and Svamool have been mentioned earlier. All kriyas of Ma -from the very appearance as a child and all the rest of kriyas in entirety are in the context of this Svakriya Aboutkriya pertaining to jiva-jagat and the aspect (4 distinctiveness of this Svakriya and Svamool too, have alreadybeen discussed to some extent in the first volume. We shall notice how very often the terms Svamool andSvakriya are mentioned also in each succeeding volume of this series.

Ma says: "Bhagavan, His play pertains to Svamool Svakriya."

That is, in the case of Ma, anything concerning Her, whatever, remains beyond our vision, within our vision aswell-birth, lila, play of sadhana, etc., all, in fact, is the play pertaining to this Svamool Svakriya. The relationbetween cause and effect has its own place, and yet no place at all at the same time.

Birth,

action,

dealing, etc., are actions leading to bondage reaping of fruits of action according to the nature of the latter.

Ma's kriya too - walking, movement, rising, sitting; eating, resting, conversation, etc.,- appears to be like ours.

But since it is Svakriya, Ma's Svarupa and Her actions are identical-whatever, whether within or beyond ourvision-Ma alone.

These revelations in identity are, indeed, all the bhavas and kriyas pertaining to Ma's body.

Ma is allowing this fact to be comprehended even through lila-khela by Her girl-like form in this chapter.

Infinite forms are of the One only.

Again, there is

no question of form,

formless - THAT alone - that what it is.

Here is this indication of Ma's Svarupa and this, in fact, has to be taken note of even through the Ananda-rasa

pertaining to the various forms of Her child lila. This will lead to the understanding that in the context of anybhava kriya at any time, She unfolds shaping Herself in the patterns of those particular forms completely.Therefore, the form of the child is perfect, and the aspects of the girl too are unfolded perfectly.

But with anything pertaining to manifested form,

the unmanifest is inseparably there as well.

Consequently, here is the Svarupa, manifest - unmanifest,

here is Ma - what She is being all,

the same She is without being any,

THAT alone.

Aiming at this revelation, one should direct one's effort

to enter into this Grantha.

CHAPTER TWO

Yogini Thakurma

Longing Itself for Revelation of 'That One'

MA's THAKURMA

The Thakurma of Ma had an innately inward-turned mind, even while living in the family. A glance at herrevealed as if there was a detached bhava within her. She had a tall figure, looking like a yogini.

Even while engaged in any work, she moved humming happily songs related to Bhagavan; on being calledunexpectedly, she replied as if she was startled. It was like the action of one who had returned from someunknown deep realm to the material world.

Whatever work she did, would be neat and clean, manifesting total holiness. The present poverty did not touchher much, as it were. Of this family, this was a characteristic feature-an ornament, indeed, of innate beauty.

Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya had, of course, very little connection with the family throughoutthe day. Wherever he would be, the people of that area would be like members of his own family and theywould go on calling him (as such). As soon as they would meet him, he would be earnestly invited and taken (totheir place) where he would get engrossed in songs pertaining to Bhagavan, etc.

It was, as if, he was not bound by time. He spent all the time like this, regardless of day and night. Sometimes hedid not find time even to eat and sleep. Being a devout brahmin, invitation from a right place alone was acceptedand food taken there. Besides this, (normally) when he returned, it was only at home that he took his bath,performed the prescribed religious sandhya-annhik and puja and then had his meal.

These aspects of Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya's life have already been mentioned earlier.* We have also

heard from the mouth of Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi what bas been mentioned above and also aboutsimilar other topics.

Thakurma's Absorption in Name of Bhagavan

and her Daily Routine

At the crack of dawn, Ma's Thakurma sometimes collected dry branches of trees found on the way nearby andvery often arranged and gave them to Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi for use in the kitchen. Pot-herbs growin jungles. Sometimes, humming merrily the name of Bhagavan, she picked them also while going round thosevillage jungles in the morning. It was as if she was collecting vegetables grown in her own well laid-out garden.Again, when she felt like it, she took Ma along too, to collect pot-herbs. Gradually, in a few days, she had madeMa understand which pot-herbs were edible and which were not. When Thakurma could not see properlybecause of her poor eyesight, and if Ma happened to be with her on that day, then She would rush with great joyinto the jungle and show Thakurma the pot-herbs and their tender stalks. Thakurma too would be greatlydelighted to see them. She had a very simple and guileless nature.

Some of the villagers grew a large variety of radish in their agricultural land, and they used to sell the produce.While pulling out those which were big and of good quality, a part of their lower ends sometimes remainedbehind in the soil. Ma's Thakurma as we know, very often collected pot-herbs from the jungle. Perhaps, on someoccasion, on noticing her moving along the road by the side of their gardens, they would call Thakurma, andgiving her some good radish, would also tell her,

"Look, many bits of radish are still lying under the ground, please take them too."

May be, sometimes, she did take a few of them. As Thakurma's father's house was in Kheora, there was noquestion of covering her face with a veil (in this village). There was a bond of affection with everybody.Thakurma treated the elderly women as mothers and the others as brothers and sisters, and they, in turn, showed,in their behaviour, esteem and reverence for Thakurma's holy ways. That unsolicited (gift) of theirs helped inmeeting the need for the time being. After collecting such vegetables, and cutting them up as required,Thakurma would deliver them at the kitchen and then take her bath.

The Songs Thakurma Sang.

This song depicts motherly love of Ma Yashoda for Gopal, the divine childKrishna. She is here telling her husband Nada Baba (Ruler of Vraj) about adream she had. The song ends with a reminder to Krishna that He is the divineMaster of all.

Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi spoke about one song (as under), which Thakurma used to sing:

Oh! the Ruler of Vraj,

Please listen:

Tonight, after appearing

In my dam,

Know not, where Gopal

Has hidden Himself again.

The restless MOON-

The Darling, kept pulling

The edge of my sari,

And crying,

"Oh mother, please

Give me fresh butter!

Give me fresh butter!"

As the Darling

Continued crying,

Demanding "Cream, mother,

Cream please",

I kept saying,

"Where is the leisure?

Who will give Thee cream?"

And t that instant,

I pushed aside,

Saying,

"Get away, get away."

Then, after brushing away

The dust from His body,

And picking up the Darling,

I wiped the moon-face

Of the MOON Itself

With the edge of my sari.

Then the MOON

Cried out again and again,

For the moon (in the sky).

The MOON who represents

Tens of millions of moons,

Why should He cry

For such moons repeatedly?

I assured Him then,

"Among the moons Thou art

The one untainted MOON.

Tens of millions of moons

Seek refuge at Thy feet!"

(Further), we heard from Ma's mouth that Thakurma used to sing the following type of song too : *

This song refers to the galling misbehaviour of the sister-in-law (husband'ssister) and mother-in-law of Sri Radha, the divine lover, condemning hermeeting Sri Krishna, the divine Beloved.

O� Courier! I am being consumed

Due to repeated tormentation

By my sister-in-law

Through her curses and wrath,

And agony caused in me.

Also, by my mother-in-law

Who is (fierce) like a tigress.

1 am being consumed

Due to repeated tormentation,

Oh courier!

She hummed so many such songs pertaining to Thakur, always mentally and also while going round in thejungles. Taking Ma in her company, Thakurma used to sing these songs to Her. May be, Thakurma would beengaged in clearing rice and pulses off grits, etc., humming a tune at the same time, when Ma would sometimesinterrupt, saying: "Than Didi (an address of love to grandmother), do please sing a song-within my hearing" - asif the two were friends.

Thakurma�s Japa - From Counting to Beyond Counting

The other activity of Thakurma was to devote a long time in performing her daily sandhya-annhik. She took hermeals only after all this was over. Sitting for sandhya, as she continued doing the japa, she became so muchabsorbed in it that the fixed number of japa (repetition of the name of the Ishta) for the day could not becompleted, which resulted in delay.

It was a job for her to complete the japa after repeated achamans.**

** Achaman is the act of sipping a little water from one's right palm threetimes while uttering a particular mantra before commencement of worship ofany other religious ceremony.

After meals, there was hardly any time left before the day ended.

Thakurma would spend almost twenty-four hours of the day in this way, and regarding household affairs, she

did not know how to give thought on the way they were managed.

Ma in the Play of Displaying Vibhuti to Thakurma

As we know, Ma's Thakurma was good natured and much advanced in age too. Ma indulged in light humourwith her as if they were friends. One day, after finishing her sandhya, she was going towards the dining roomwhile muttering something, no one knows what, in an indistinct language and hardly audible. She was probablyrepeating the name of her Ishta at that time. Ma was, then, about seven or eight years old.

She told Her grandmother,' "I notice that you have been saying only this one particular word all the time."

The grandmother was surprised and said: "How could you know what I have been saying? It is not proper for allthis to come out of the mouth of children."

Ma sat down immediately, keeping quiet like a good little girl.

On another day, when Ma told Thakurma something, there was a transportation of bhava all over her body. Alittle later she said: "I lost my senses, as it were, as soon as I heard you!" Ma stared at her face vacantly, likeone non-plussed. Ma's Thakurma never had any education; she was illiterate.

When Thakurma had some conversation with Ma, sometimes the atmosphere there would assume such a gravitythat the fact that Ma was only a small girl would be as if she lost sight of during the talk.

Village Kheora - Divine Influence of its Bhava: life of Thakurma, a Yogini.

There was yet another significant facet. In some homes, food was cooked with vegetables bought, but the curriesprepared with Thakurma's pot-herbs and their fresh soft stalks - all these constituted, as it were, nourishingdelicious dishes for all. The thought about the quality of foodstuff cooked, whether it was good or bad incomparison to that of others, never arose in any ones mind; contentment was always there.

However, it did occur in the corner of our minds that such was the (poor) provision of Ma's food at that time!

With a peculiar sad bhava, we were, then, seated close to Ma.

Noticing our bhava, Ma remarked: "Oh, certainly you have never eaten such things, neither will you ever do so.To a few drops of oil in a container on fire, a little spice is added, and after cutting thick slices of radish, theyare left there. A little turmeric, salt and chilli powder (or red pepper) are then added, the contents stirred togetherand water poured in. The container is, afterwards, taken out of fire as soon as the radish pieces are boiled.

This soup, when taken with rice and raw radish, is very delicious.

What is wrong with it? Your cooked food, according to foreign style too (is like this): health is maintained byhaving boiled vegetables. Ulcers and other maladies and operations were not there. Why are you looking so glumwith such a facial expression and mental state?

Village Kheora, despite its bushes and jungles all around, what a solemn divine influence one could experiencein the midst of it all! Thakur - Puja was performed daily, and in the evening too, incense and resin were burntand oil lam lighted (before the Deity). The environment itself of the place was, as if enchanting, sustaining aholy inspiration. No touch of any bhava of poverty could be felt there, as it were.

This (poverty) too was well-nourished, one does not know how, by the influence of the place, other-worldly andsweet Ma's Thakurma too, leading the life like that a yogini, kept her-self engaged day and night, aiming at herown objective in joy.

That, in the world, there was happiness and comfort which yielded earthly pleasures to be enjoyed was an aspectof life that had no place at all to be reckoned with. The question did not arise in any way - such was her way in

this respect too. Again, she had a small wooden box with nothing in it except a silver coin, and that box too shehad given away to Mokshada Sundari Devi. Let alone (the question of) her having any bag and baggage of herown, she did not have even a small bundle of clothing. Such was the form of aspects pertaining to all thosedesires.

With an inner joy, uniform and uninterrupted, she remained calm, composed and serious. After she had broughther daughter-in-law into the family, she became as if free forever, and all at once, from the point of view ofdomestic chores. This clearly showed the special trait of her character.

Mokshada Sundari�s all-round Seva of mother-in-law.

In regard to seva rendered by Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi to her mother-in-law, it had, indeed, thefollowing characteristics -As far as possible, the wearing apparels of the mother-in-law were maintained intactand kept clean and well-tucked away. Also, after her meals were cooked, rice, curry, etc., were kept ready in abig marble plate. The floor (where food was served) was swept clean, water sprinkled over it and (food served)in a spirit of offering bhog (to a deity) with reverence. A glass of water was kept there, and salt, green chillies,etc., too, separately. Further, Mokshada Sundari Devi kept a vigil (over the served food) till the mother-in-lawsat down to take her meal. Generally, the former herself kept the vigil, but occasionally, she made Ma sit for thispurpose. When the mother-in-law sat down to eat, Mokshada Sundari Devi remained nearby doing something orthe other, and attended to her as the need arose. Her bed on which she slept was also a special one-clean as faras possible, with all the things she needed any time also kept secure at the right place.

Thakurma's One-pointedness - Many In One, One in Many.

While talking about Her Thakurma, Ma said: "Eli! She was within herself the ochre-robed yogini." With herpresence in the context of the particular background, she gave as much company as she could for a few days inthis form too. When Ma was talking about the yogini form of Thakurma, She was referring to her subtle yoginiform.

Whenever Ma's Thakurma took up something to do, she completed that task with single-minded concentration.

It was noticed that her attention would not normally be diverted to anything else.

Ma said: "This is the aspect of one-pointedness-the One that is many in One,

in many, that same One;

it is that one-pointedness in which it is complete.

Where the kriya is perfect, there the self reveals as perfect.

There only Infinity is in One,

the One is in Infinity - the One only�

is in two also,

and those two are, indeed, in One too.

That the Self alone exists in the form of a complete Indivisible Whole

-this truth has to reveal all points;

it pertains to that one-pointedness (of Thakurma)."

Revelation of Thakurma�s One-pointedness

In sadhaka�s Life through One-pointed Unbroken sadhana:

Warning about tile Way heading to a Fall�

Question : Ma, we must have a sustained desire for satsang. In fact, we do join that, as available. Is not thisverily our duty?

Ma: "Yes, you must join Satsanga. Sadhakas and sadhikas should accept advice, if it is in conformity with thatof their own Guru, and reject it, if not so. If one delivers lecture after studying the Ra'izayana, the Bhagavat andother scriptures, etc., and if that helps anyone, who by understanding them, gains what he did not have before, topursue the journey leading to tha Supreme Objective; also, if the speaker himself too, being already establishedin that enlightened and inspiring state pertaining to satsanga, was marching towards the Supreme State-thisaspect of kriya being of his own, as he himself is engaged to get merged (in that state) then, this is, indeed, amatter of Ananda.

But without attaining that state, and only through studies and repeated listening of scriptures, if one aspires aftername and fame, hankers for devotees and disciples, men, money and landed property, where these propensitiesexist-there, one must be prepared to suffer from unhappiness born out of various wants in respect of these items.However, where there is journey for attainment through sadhana, one should understand as to which way one ismoving. Where evil appears in the garb of auspicious-ness, nobody knows where one will be led to at anymoment. Even when, at any time, the thought, '1 am talking about spiritual truth to people' is harboured in thecorner of the mind, and if with this pretence, kriya sustaining self-interest is indulged in, one does not knowwhen and to what a state pertaining to joys and sorrows of the domain of mind, one will land in, on being caughtby fond attachment through public contact, resulting in being adversely deflected from the path leading to theSupreme Objective.

What shape this will cause to be taken gradually before the masses, is very difficult to comprehend in the realmof mind.

Therefore, sadhaka, be on your guard, on your guard, on your guard!

One must definitely shun the way leading to what is harmful, what will bring a downfall and cause hindrance inattaining the Supreme Slate. It is the special duty of a sadhaka to remain devoted to his journey aiming at theSupreme State. That a sadhaka-tapasvi should strive day and night without break in all his activities by body andmind for the fulfilment of the objective-this must be kept in mind."

When a sadhaka is devoted to unbroken sadhana in his journey aiming at the realization of his Svarupa, hisdesire for all attainments in this state is centred in his objective only. This is the state when his objective, theparticular form of Bhagavan is revealed. Therefore, without the intense awakening of longing for realization,where can there be the revelation of the objective in fullness?

The above statement is in the context of the kingdom of sadhaka, where the journey is initiated by a sadhaka torealize his objective. But where there is revelation of Bhagavan Himself, this longing has its own place too. Allthe same, what is the Svarupa of this longing In the context of the revelation of Bhagavan, the longing too forHis revelation is identical with Him, because where can there be a second entity with longing remaining apart.

In other words, the longing finds its fulfilment in the revelation of Bhagavan, where there remains no entity apartfrom Him to long for. Therefore, when it is Bhagavan only in the form of this longing, Bhagavan reveals, Healone, the only One. Here sadhaka, sadhana, longing, revelation-all is in the Svarupa of One, the One only inSelf-revelation, where the question of revelation, and absence of revelation has no place, when the object ofrevelation and one who longs for revelation are identical, then only takes place the Purnahuti (finishing oblation)of longing (end of all longing) in the object of revelation. All longings are then satisfied. That is why it is said :

the longing too for the revelation of the Self is the Self only, the revelation too is the Self in the Self.

In the light of the above investigation, the longing and prayer of Thakurma in connection with the advent of Ma-What is its Svarupa?

Obviously, it is Ma only - who is Thakurma in the form of longing and prayer.

In this chapter, we noticed that Thakurma is free from all attachments, with her innate simple form, herself inherself, sustained by bhava of Bhagavan. It is to be particularly taken note of that there is no place for a secondobjective of her desire, it cannot possibly be too. Because the one for whom she appeared, it was in that one-pointedness, that is, the many in One and that One alone in many, it was that One. Therefore, it was Oneappearing as two, Herself in the form of longing for Her own revelation, Ma Herself being Thakurma.

CHAPTER THREE

Kanya Dan*: Form of kriya.

Regarding the Couple as Shiva Durga**

Transcendental in Mundane

*Ceremonial handing over of daughter in marriage.

**Eternal Divine couple with Shiva as the Supreme Being and

Durga, His Inseparable Divine Energy-as Mother of the Universe.

MA AND GRIHASTASHRAM

Pre-Marriage Negotiations

When Ma completed Her twelve years of age, the father got worried about Her marriage. Ma's youngest maternaluncle knew how to read a horoscope. He took Ma's horoscope and would not return it even after he had beenasked to do so repeatedly.

For this reason, Her parents thought that there must be something unfavourable in it. Shriyukt Bipin BihariMahasaya belonged to Vidyakut's famous respected Bhattacharya families of the lineage of Kashyap Rishi.Ordinarily, they never gave their daughter in marriage anywhere but in the district of Vikrampur. Manymatrimonial proposals from good and well-to-do families came from the region of Ma's birth place, but theywere all refused.

In the first proposal for marriage of Ma, negotiated by Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya, theprospective bridegroom was a widower with two sons and a daughter too. He was a big zamindar (landlord),handsome and learned. (But) Ma's Thakurma said: "I shall not approve this proposal for this marriage, becausethe groom is a widower, however rich the family may be." Hence, the negotiation fell through.

A photograph of this prospective groom with his sons and daughter had also been brought by someone. All werehaving a look at it. At that time Ma was passing by one side of the courtyard on Her way to the ghat of the tank.As soon as She went beyond everybody's gaze, She started moving with a rhythm in a dancing pose, and lookingup at the trees, while waving Her hands slowly, began humming a tune, as it were, 'Photograph, Photograph,Photograph', as if this was also a verse of a song. A grandfather of Ma asked from behind: "Hey! What are yousaying?" At once Ma shrank, as it were, through bashfulness. In those villages, how many people had ever seena photograph, I do not know.

Many of them, perhaps, may not even have heard about photographs.

About the Bridegroom.

Hidden Indication In Ma's Words

Ultimately, Ma's father himself went to village Dokachhi in district Vikrampur, looking for a groom. Meanwhile,Ma told Her Thakurma and mother: "I saw Police and inspector." Thakurma asked: "Where did you sec ?" Mareplied: "In this house only!" The father was not at home; and Ma, from Her childhood, had always been quitepeculiar in Her talks and behaviour, and so they were worried. Police, Police inspector, etc., had been seen in theneighbourhood in connection with a theft case elsewhere. What will happen now: will the Police come herethen?

Whatever it was, Ma's father returned home suddenly, one day, with Sitanath Kushari Mahasaya of Dokachhi.

This gentleman was the eldest brother-in-law of Bholanath (Ma's future husband). Kushari Mahasaya had cometo see Ma after having almost completed the negotiations (about the marriage). The next day, when Ma wassitting in the verandah, in front of the kitchen, Kushari Mahasaya came slowly near Her and asked: "What isyour name?", and also put certain other questions.

Ma told Her name and also answered all questions.

He was satisfied with the answers. Meanwhile, Mokshada Sundari Devi came and Kushari Mahasaya conversedalso with her. Later on, choosing one auspicious day, he came and blessed Ma, and went back. Bholanath was,then, working in the Police Department.

It became clear that what Ma had seen was what Bholanath's employment then was. Her conversation at thattime had conveyed concisely how Bholanath would appear in this household at first and how he would be in theend.

Did anybody think about it in this way? Certainly not.

The day of the marriage was fixed.

It was to be held in the Indian month of Magha (January-February). Within a few days, after Kushari Mahasayahad left, Ma's Thakurma fell ill and breathed her last.

Mokshada Sundari Devi, on her part, engrossed in Thakurma�s seva in its completeness, kept on uttering (inher ear) the name (of her Ishta) during her last moments and did all that was required to be done at such a time(according to the traditional religious practice).

As for Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya, he was, in his usual way, engrossed, as ever, in doingkirtan, oblivious of everything else.

Where was he physically at that time?

After a search and some persuasion, he came back and completed his mother's last rites. Later, he observed therules according to the injunctions of the Shastras and also had Habishanna*.

*Boiled rice with ghee, which one is supposed

to take for a prescribed period on a near one�s death.

Amidst this, he went to Tripura's capital Agartala to arrange for an elephant for the groom's marriage procession.About the proposal for marriage, the old men and old women of the village who were related to Ma as well asothers of the same age-group started teasing Her in various ways, but Ma maintained the same one bhava,namely, just listening to what was said.

Gradually, the day of marriage drew near, the religious ceremonies of the grandmother had already beencompleted, and when, at the end of the year, the shradha ceremony was over, the time also arrived for handingover the bride ceremonially. Arrangement had been made to keep an elephant ready for use at Kasba. It wasdecided that the procession should start from there.

The groom and party arrived in time at Kasba Kali temple.

After the Vridhi Kriya* was performed, the groom mounted the elephant, the procession started and arrived atKheora at the previously appointed place on the date fixed, with the band playing ahead. Meanwhile, all of them,who had to come from Vidyakut and Sultanpur, had also arrived. They had made Ma sleep in a room of adifferent house situated on the east and brought Her along at the right time.

Marriage - Ma in Identity with that Form of Kriya

The wedding was over when Ma's age was twelve years and ten months. Ma did whatever She was told to do atthe time of marriage and, accordingly, standing and sitting, as required, She carried out all instructions given toHer by anyone. When the moment (for marriage ceremony) arrived, She was taught how to throw flowers, etc.,made of woody stalks of jute plants by a grandmother of Ma with her own hand. That there must be ShubhDdyhti* (the first exchange of glances) between the bride and the bridegroom, had not been told to Ma byanybody.

* This had significance, particularly in the context of those days whenthe bride and the bridegroom had never seen each other beforemarriage. This Shubh Drishti (literally auspicious glance) wasconsidered as an indicator of the happy married life or otherwise,depending upon the effect it produced on the couple.

Hence, She did what She was told to do by that grandmother, but where was the exchange of glances a they haveto be exchanged. On the contrary, Ma was looking skyward at the spectators who had congregated in a groupthere.

At Ashtagram, Bajitpur and other places, when all that of Ma was going on (Ma was, then, deeply engaged inHer play of sadhana with absolute indifference to the world), on Bholanath's mentioning about this absence ofexchange of glances to his friends in their friendly talks, they too remarked:

"Yes, yes, really it is so; perhaps all this is due to this reason - the family life has not functioned with the normalbond."

At the end of the marriage ceremony, there was havan (oblation of fire), etc., next day. Sri Lakshmicharan, anold famous pundit of the village, performed this oblation. In village relationship, he was Ma's grandfather. Whileperforming this (religious ceremony), he said with eyes moist with tears and while drawing attention ofBholanath,

"Grandson, you will know what jewel you are taking home!"

The son of this pundit too, it is reported, had, while pointing towards Ma, sometime told someone: "Her shiningcomplexion is becoming visible through Her clothing; She is not an ordinary person (human being)."

That day, after the oblation, etc., were over, Ma's youngest maternal uncle feasted Bholanath lavishly with loveand respect. A variety of dishes of rice, curry and other eatables in a set of well-matched glass and smallkatories (bowls), nicely arranged in a large plate was placed before Bholanath after seating him on an asanaplaced en the pointed wooden seat that had been given to him as a wedding present.

On the occasion of this marriage of Nirmala-the beloved niece of the youngest maternal uncle, who had always

treated Her with reverence internally and affection outwardly-his uncle gave as many wedding gifts as his meanspermitted. We know that he never gave back the horoscope of Ma after taking it away to read it. That Ma woulddefinitely never be tied down in family life, was a fact, which must not only be not disclosed at that juncture, butshould rather be guarded as a top secret.

Perhaps this was the reason for hiding the horoscope.

It is understood that all the manifestations with their distinctive character, such as love and affection fromparents and other relations relate to actions in the context of a particular time. This too has been noticed thatthere was appropriate behaviour in keeping with the relationship of grandmother and granddaughter, and afterthat the grandmother breathed her last at the juncture of day and evening, with the granddaughter standingbefore her. The shradha ceremony and other kriyas were performed completely, and then, in a few days timethere was the occasion for giving away the daughter in marriage. A Kumari (unmarried girl) is (in reality) theBhagavati Herself. The giving away of a bride ceremonially is carried out according to the injunctions ofShastras, and all these kriyas (the various actions per-formed during the marriage ceremony by Ma), asappropriate in the context of each particular place in the sequence, are forms of the Self transforming as the Self-same.

In the Reality, where there is inaction in action, that, of course, is there*

* It should be remembered that in this lila of transformation from a Kumari to abahu, what is involved is Ma's Svarupa, the cause-less Cause - the UncreatedOne Itself-which alone is. Therefore, here the transformation takes place in theSelf with the Self remaining the same, because the transformation itself is alsothe Self. Simultaneously, another aspect involved here is that in spite of allactions taking place, there is no transformation, no action.

these are our intimate thoughts. Indeed, all these aspects (of Ma's lila) related to where creation, sustenance anddissolution take place and again do not take place too. In all kriyas pertaining to all such aspects, in fact, in everykriya, the Tattwa (truth of Ma's Svarupa) is expressed, Un-folded. On the other hand, that which is manifest-un-manifest Svarupa, where is that unmanifest? It just floats in the mind appearing faintly. It constantly occurs inthe mind; indeed, all these provide a repeated touch of that unrestricted, unlimited complete revelation, takingplace in the world and beyond, in the mind and beyond-this is what we have to realize through a firmcomprehension. This comes from the depth of my mind.

After the wedding was over and while leaving Kheora, all others were weeping bitterly. Joining them, Ma alsocried, as judged from external behaviour, in such an unusual way that some people remarked that nobody hadbeen seen to weep like that. It was only a small village and the way She wept produced a response of crying inmany when She left.

Afterwards, when Ma came back to Kheora, calling Her in a gathering of grandfathers, grandmothers and allothers, they remarked: "Oh God! What a crying it was! Hearing it, sitting in our own rooms, we could not helpcrying with a mind heavily grief-stricken! It appeared from their bhava and talks as if something veryextraordinary, which could not be explained, had left the village. When Ma was asked about this, She said:

"In the case of this body, (regarding) all that presents itself at any time, what happens, let it be."

Is this the Child Bahu, Covered With the Veil?

Transport by boat was the only means of travel to and from Kheora during rainy season. In other seasons, one could go on foot or be carriedin a palanquin. While going to the father-in-law's house, after the marriage., Ma was made to board a train at Kasba Railway Station alongwith all the luggage.

Meanwhile, it was suddenly announced that they would have to change their compartment. Ma, with the veil on, was sitting quietly, whenShe was told: "You will have to shift to a different compartment; be quick, there is no time left, get down!"

All the luggage had been piled up in front, and there was no passage even to move. Well, no more was Ma the child-wife with a veil on! Atonce She got up and began helping in removing all the luggage out of the compartment by pushing it out quickly, and got down aftergetting the whole work completed, as if with a robust heroism, tact and lightning speed. This scene was enacted before the eyes of Sitanath

Kushari Mahasaya.

Afterwards, he used to often mention this incident, as if a feeling of affection and regard remained jointly rooted in his heart (with thethought): "This girl, for Her, how was it possible to have this feat accomplished by Her hands?' He was simply amazed.

The bhava that presented itself at any time, Ma appeared in identification with it completely. When a girl-child,She was the object of love and affection to all, and in that context, Ma too identified Herself in those respectiveforms of a child. That is why it has been mentioned, the appropriate kriyas at appropriate times in response tolove and affection from father, mother and relatives, identifying Herself with the form of the relation between agrandmother and granddaughter, She, again, watched while standing, the end of Thakurma unaffected.

Here, it is the occasion of marriage of Ma, the kriya pertaining to handing over the bride ceremonially. Kumari(a virgin) is, in fact, the Svarupa of Bhagavati, so the kriya pertaining to handing over should be according tothe precepts of the Shastras.

With due observation of all those kriyas, Ma identified Herself with the patterns of those respective forms. Thispattern itself is being called Svarupita Kriya (transformation of the self in the self in the form of kriya). That is,the kriyas in entirety as the bride during Her marriage, are Ma Herself Svarupita (transformation of the self inthe self), there cannot of course, be any question of other different changed forms. In the context of such kriyas,Ma should be noticed in the background of absence of kriya as well. That is, in the Reality where the questionof any kriya does not arise, there itself, again, is kriya. Therefore, it is to be. understood that the forms of suchkriyas is Ma Herself-that is why Svarupita.

Let that aspect of the Svarupa of Bhagavan be seen in the light of the above investigation. Where there iscreation, sustenance and dissolution, there, at those places, changes take place. But in all changes, there isabsence of change too, and so it is said:

the place where creation, sustenance, dissolution take place, yet, again, they do not take place as well. Thatis, even being all, not to be any, since it is Bhagavan, the One alone.

Therefore, this statement is applicable in the case of the Svarupa of Bhagavan only.

That is why about Ma, it has been said in connection with every kriya, there is Tattwa, unfolded, expressed.

That is, each kriya, in fact, is Ma. The manifest form of such kriya is the little that could be observed and whatremains beyond observation-it is the unmanifest and remaining inseparable too. For this reason, it is said : thisSvarupa manifest unmanifest-where is that unmanifest ?

All this pertaining to Ma is for ourselves only - the way they will give a touch in our mind. In the form of jagat,beyond Jagat, in mind beyond mind, in all, She is Abadh completely.

CHAPTER FOUR

Field of Perfect Seva

(Where) He alone is Object of Seva

MA in grihastashram

At the time of departure from Kheora, Mokshada Sundari Devi had counselled Ma that a woman must alwaysguard her chastity; even if life is lost in doing so, she must not give up her chastity. (Also) Whatever thehusband or the guardians may ask Her to do, She must obey silently. Immediately after marriage, Bholanath leftfor his place of employment. He too advised Ma to obey his eldest brother and his wife. Well, with this beganthe role of implicit obedience on the part of Ma.

On the next day after marriage, Ma was taken to Sripur, where Revati Babu, the eldest brother of Bholanath wasin service. The wife of the next elder brother of Bholanath too was there after her marriage. Her name wasPrafulla Devi. At that time Revati Babu was employed as Station Master of Sripur Railway Station. His wife(mother of Ashu) remarked with pleasure: "This is nice, the names of my companions from early years at schoolwere Prafulla and Nirmala, and now my sisters-in-law too bear the same names.

Dexterity in Seva - Didima's Prediction Given a Living Form

When Ma was first taken to Sripur, She noticed, on reaching there, that Ashu's mother was ill. There wereeruptions of small boils all over her body, which caused itching, and which could not be cured in any way.

Ma's age, then, was only twelve years and ten months.

On arrival at Sripur, Ma engaged Herself all the time, day and night in domestic chores, obeying the instructionsof elders. Cooking, taking care of the children of the elder brother of Her husband, keeping the house tidy,cleaning utensils and doing all kinds of other household work, Ma would attend to all these duties single-handedlike a machine. Under pressure of work, She could not have the Kheyala at all to take food, comb Her hair, keepHer body tidy-do all this in time. Observing Ma's dextrous handling of work, Shriyukta Mokshada SundariDevi's words of assurance, 'you will be able to do everything alright at the proper time, there is no cause forworry', were proved as a correct prophecy.

Bholanath and the second brother Suren Baba were married almost at the same time. Suren Babu was older toBholanath, but Suren Babu's wife Prafulla was younger to Ma by a few months. That is why Ashu's mother hadsaid: "Prafulla, you will address Nirmala as Sezdi (third elder sister) and Nirmala will call you Mejdi (secondelder sister). The wife of Suren Babu, however, did not do much work. When cleaning utensils, she would tellMa: "Sezdi, you do the scrubbing, and I shall do the final rinsing."

Ma would say: "Alright, and in close co-operation, as with one's own sisters, the two lived and ate togethercheerfully. Nobody liked her (Prafulla's) cooking."

As a result, Ma had to cook both the meals. At that time, there were often, at one meal, about ten to twelvemouths to feed.

MA'S KRIYA-PATTERNS OF IDEAL SEVA

Small, Big, All Jobs:

the Object - Faultless

Correct Seva in Joy and Cheerfulness

There were several other aspects too relating to Ma.

To questions in this connection, Ma's reply was that excessive work, less work; small job, big job; heavy work,light work-no question (of this type) ever occurred in Her Kheyala. And to take account of the work: "so muchwork I have done; to tell others about this would be a matter of shame and embarrassment, lacking in decorum,and could it be considered cultured?"

Ma was not the least inclined to do such things.

The way it was possible to do more work, so that everyone could be looked after properly, according to his needand without any shortcoming-this is what alone remained in Ma's view in joy and cheerfulness, with no trace offatigue or exertion. If any elder was about to do any work, Ma would take that work from her hands with asmiling face and do it Herself. That anyone did some work or why did not do that work - not even an inkling ofany such bhava was ever noticed in Ma. And if someone voluntarily took the responsibility for some work, Mawould gladly give her a helping hand in Her faultless way.

Again, say, someone else did a piece of work which was not done properly, and Ma happened to be present -and, if at that time, an elder, not knowing as to who was responsible for that bad work, blamed Ma with harshwords in front of all others, She would listen to that silently. Under such circumstances, or under any othercircumstance, an appropriate behaviour on the part of Ma was always there, and this happened by itself. 'It wassuch and such a person who had done that work and not I' - making this kind of protest or nursing a feeling tothat effect was altogether absent in Ma.

To Ma, this too would be shameful; however, Ma is in Her unchanged bhava.

To talk in such a fashion is, after all, not polite; it would be an uncivil, unmannerly action. In time, the truthdoes prevail. Later, for some reason or the other, when it (the truth) was heard from someone else, then it wasnoticed that in that elder, in repentance, the kindly feeling, affection and esteem for Ma was enhanced still more,as it were.

Pattern of Junior's Action with Respect for Elder

No place for Winning Praise or Good Name

Answering a query on this topic, Ma also said that the duty of the younger is to take away the work from thehands of the elder when the latter is about to do it and do the same herself. If the elder be still keenly desirous ofdoing the work herself, then, for the sake of maintaining her respect, the younger should leave the work in thehands of the elder, but, at the same time, be careful to stay behind and appropriately assist in the work. Thepattern of taking away the work from the elder should be a swift one, done in a pleasant bhava while remainingcalm, composed and steady. When conversing with the elder, one should, while maintaining equanimity, makequeries with eyes cast down towards the ground and in answering questions be careful to maintain truth.Supposing one is just sitting idle, then, as soon as an elder approaches, one should stand up with courtesy. At alltimes, the clothes, etc., must be kept covering the body properly. One should never talk excitedly withgesticulations in the presence of elders. Nothing should be done with the object of gaining praise and prestigefor one-self. None, whether old or young, should be hurt through one's words and behaviour, and one must beparticularly careful in this respect.

Atithi Narayana

Cheedui bhava to he maintained in his Seva

During the course of Ma's grihastashram, such were the beautiful patterns of Her seva in various ways. If an atithi (guest) came, whether intime or untimely, it was Ma alone who would cook for him, attend to arrangements from behind to make the guest feel at home, and allthis was a pleasure for Ma. On account of this seva, if Ma Herself was late to take food, there was some adverse comment (on thataccount). It was in Ma's kheyala that harbouring of any mood to give a rejoinder must find no quarter in Herself-in fact, it must never takeplace. Because an atithi is looked upon as Narayana, so one must entertain a specific bhava of cheerfulness while serving him. A sevarendered in a dissatisfied mood is futile. One does not feel any exertion or fatigue when serving one's own people. In the same way, onemust maintain an amiable disposition when serving others. Of course, the service suitable for an Ashram is a distinct one. Charity withdisrespect and behaviour with indifference produce distress. In one's external dealings with others, one should maintain a proper code ofbehaviour in talking-a disciplined, composed, sober and cheerful disposition as befitting the occasion. In movement and talk, one shoulddefinitely be civil and of commendable behaviour.

We have heard that there were endless praises as well for Ma.

But in the case of Ma, it was out of question to take notice of that. She would just carry on with Her attention

focussed on what was required to be done and how it should be done.

Seva: Kriya without self-Praise

An effective Means to enhance Sat Karma Shakti (Power to do Virtuous Acts)

Sometimes, Ma Herself had done some work, but one who happened to be present there got the praises, thinkingthat it was that one who had done that work. At that time (to think) that I did it and the praises were due to me-an expression of this sort, even by any kind of hint-or by any trace too of such a feeling was never there in Ma.(Because), though it was true, yet it certainly would be self-praise. For Ma, this was also a shameful act and acause of embarrassment. In fact, in Ma there was no place for giving any thought on or having any considerationfor all such matters.

She would, of course, go on doing what had to be done in Her natural way. In reply to queries in this context,Ma said:

"One derives one's own benefit through seva, understand this.

It increases only one's own power to do good deeds. One can learn various kinds of jobs. And it is rightthat one should work with joy, to make progress quickly, ahead of all. Otherwise, it is only givingindulgence to indolence and lethargy, that is, one does positive harm to oneself in life's journey, resultingin suffering for oneself only.

All-round cleverness is required.

Unless there is competence with cool temperament, how will one get on. Whichever line is chosen, onemust not be a failure the; only then can one acquire skill in work. And this skill can even arouse thetechnique of action, favourable for the journey leading to the Supreme Objective. (This is so) because,through seva, indeed, is the way to purification of mind, (and) it is you who say so."

Lapse in Karma �

To accept one's Error with a Smiling Face:

An Aid to Character Building

Look whatever the work, it should be performed well.

If any work has gone wrong through someone, the thought that I have not done it, but someone else has, mustnot be kept in the mind, nor should there be an expression of it through words. What was held by this body wasthis: the work has gone wrong, whether it was through this hand or through another, it is the same thing.

Hence, when it is not done properly, whatever (harsh words) have to be said (about it) will be spoken and thosewords will have to be listened to. Since the work has, indeed, been spoiled, as a result, one has the right tocharge (the worker), whoever he may be. Otherwise, how will the lesson be learnt to work carefully in future?

And this accusation is the lesson and should be accepted smilingly. In this situation too, it should be so. That iswhy when one is blamed for an act, one should take it with a joy. One must admit the fault if there be any defectin one's work, and should not make various excuses to hide the fault, because this is very harmful from the pointof view of character building. This is lying and an action wrong in principle, leading to sorrow and suffering.

Proper building of a good character is absolutely essential for all human beings.

Seva and Seva Alone

No thought of Consequence, whatever Happens Whenever, Let it be�

(During) whatever little respite Ma had in the midst of work, Ashu�s mother would call Ma and ask Her toscratch her body. She had not told Ma that immediately after scratching, She has to wash Her hands.

And, as for Ma, She would have no Kheyala, indeed, in such cases all the time.

Seva meant seva only (in the truest sense of the term).

On hearing this, someone asked Ma about this point: "Ma, according to your statement, we understand that (withyou) things take place by itself this particular way too, in the present case?"

Ma smiled and said:

"Understand it like this; suppose the Kheyala too was there that one should wash hands immediately afterscratching the scab. Even then, in the corner of her (Ashu's mother's) mind she would have felt that perhaps thereis a feeling of aversion in Her to scratch, or else why should She wash Her hands time and again. Probably(because of this) she may have hesitated even to call (me) freely without delicacy, for this work. For this body,at that time, there was, of course, no such aspect (feeling of aversion), nor does it ever arise.

Seva is after all seva; whatever my take place in the context of any particular time! Does one wash one's handsevery time after scratching one's own body-just tell me ?"

Ma's hands are delicate and soft.

As a result, some itching scabs appeared on Her fingers.

Later on, there was some abnormality on finger nails and on other parts of the body.

Before Ashu's mother became quite fit physically, the wife of the second brother went to her father's place.Later, Ashu's mother became well. Ma would, after feeding the rest of the inmates of the house, sit alone in thekitchen and have her meal. One day, Ashu�s mother came and on seeing what Ma was eating, exclaimed:"What is this; for yourself, you have not kept sufficient quantity of pulse soup and vegetable curry, and arehaving rice after adding water only. I understand now that you do not know how to apportion food and serve. Hewho does not know how to eat does not know how to cook either. From now on, you will have to sit with meand eat."

When there was not enough left to eat, Ma used to add water to rice and finish Her meal with it only. But fromthat day onward, for one year and a half, Ashu's mother made Ma sit with her and eat.

Revati Babu �

Ma Looked Upon with Love and Affection:

A Move towards the Goal in the Context of Supreme Objective

One day, at noon, Ma was running high temperature. She did not even take food properly, but had not disclosedit to anyone. Ashu's mother called Ma and asked Her to comb her hair a little. Ma started doing so. Then, feelingthe heat of Ma's palm, Ashu's mother exclaimed: "Are you running temperature? Surely, it is, very high already!You better go and lie down."

Ma obeyed as She was asked to do.

When Revati Babu returned home, he said: "Probably Babu Ma (wife of younger brother) has high temperature,otherwise She is not one who would lie down. In spite of a strict barrier, enforced during those days between theelder brother and younger brother's wife, all favour-able and unfavourable conditions Ma would be in, would,somehow, strike a compassionate note in the heart of Revati Babu. When any good thing was brought and

distributed among the children, he would ask Ashu's mother: "Hope you have not missed giving it to Babu Ma,�" as if Ma was also one of his daughters-such was his feeling (towards Ma).

Many years after his death, once, somewhere, Ma saw that Revati Babu, in his subtle form, had come to Her andwas saying: "Ma, you have to give me something."

It was as if (someone was making) a tender-hearted entreaty (expressing) a desire to get (something).

In this context, Ma had said: "The act of bestowal too took place by itself, as it were, in some way by this body."Instantly, it was observed that simultaneously with an expression of joy, he got transformed and then, in his way,was on the move to reach his objective. During the lifetime of Revati Babu, it was the aspect of cordial relationas to a daughter that was distinctly visible in his relationship with Ma, in the form of his younger brother's wife.

In this relationship we have not heard anything else pertaining to the spiritual side. After death he came to knowHer as Ma, and made a prayer in Her proximity to get (something) what is the basis for this?

For a few days (during his lifetime), he had looked upon Ma with deeply felt affection; it is likely that thisprovided the basis for him to be in the present form now in the context of the Supreme Objective.

Someone, it is reported had even asked Ma this: "Ma, was it specially for the sake of Revati Babu and Labanya(his daughter) that you had lived in their family for this short period? Actually, it was observed that immediatelyafter his demise, Ma, you were free for your play of Sadhana in your own bhava.

Ma's Dealings, High Dexterity in Karma � in all this too - THAT only,

Whatever Happens, Let it be�

Ma, we know, had a tender, soft body, was very young in age, and yet sitting in a small room under a tin-shed,had to cook in the heat of fire both times. Moreover, Ma's hand and feet too were tender and soft, and so, whilewalking barefooted over a paved floor, using water frequently in doing so much work, for so many people, Shegot sores with swelling between toes and also between fingers. Things continued like this for quite a few days.

Question: Well Ma, where did all these ways and patterns of your work come from? You are the daughter of afamily where you did not even see or hear about all such work. All these dealings and ideas of great skill inwork-how is it possible to have them in all spheres?

Ma: "Oh Baba! (the actions of) this body are, indeed, elomelo, as you have, of course, been observing.

In all these, too, it is THAT alone.

You draw a line of demarcation between that side and this side, and thereby reap the fruit of suchseparation, whereas, here, whatever happens, let it; taking place by itself."

Cause of Worry - Sense of Duality:

Where Worry for Ma?

Shortly after Ma had joined the family of Bholanath, both he and his next elder brother, Suren Babu, lost their jobs. Ma was, then, at Sripurwith her eldest sister-in-law.

Suren Babu was, of course, later re-employed.

In Bholanath's service, a dangerous situation developed-a lawsuit was filed and even the fear of imprisonment was the. Bholanath's fatherwas alive at that time. Many of the family members remained anxious and were almost on the point of giving up food and sleep as noneknew what news would be received. Bholanath's father and Revati Babu-all were shuttling back and forth to Dacca. As for Ashu's mother,she sometimes reprimanded Ma, shouting: "What an irony of fate is this, what ill luck has befallen the poor fellow (Bholanath)! And see

here, is there the least worry or anxiety (in Her)?" Continuing, she asked Ma, 'What sort of person are you? Could you realise the situation?

Look, this is what has happened!"

Ma was called, So She came and had to wait a little standing. After standing and listening to what was told to Her, She said: "Now, may Igo back to work?" What She was, the same, She remained. The moment She was told: "Go", She left the place.

In this context, once much later, Ma was saying: "To worry, how is it that one can worry!" Within Herself, thereis only this bhava.

Later on, although the issue in Bholanath's case was settled, he lost his job. Revati Babu and his wife oftendiscussed about Ma � �is Sejabau an idiot or stupid?�

It does not appear that She understands anything, even a little, and is devoid of any sense. Just see. She does nothave any worry and is always contented with Her own work. Sometimes, when Ashu's father was in the room,Ma would have Her veil on.

At that time, supposing Ashu's mother told Ma: "There is that particular thing, just look for it", Ma would, then,look only (downwards) through the available opening with the veil on and not see through the cloth of the veil,because, in the latter case, her eyes would fall on the faces of all men and women, and that would be wrongbehaviour. For this reason, if anyone noticed the way Ma then moved about, he would think of Her as an idiot.

But looking at Her aspect of obedience, all loved Her and could not help having love and affection for Ma.

Ashu's father looked like a prince; he even developed diabetes.

In the rural way of thinking, when a bride joins a family, she is blamed if any misfortune befalls the household.For instance, such was th saying that went round, 'As the bride comes in the house, sand falls in the pot ofchhattu (fried gram or barley powder)'. As a result, one can easily imagine how the feelings of brides were hurt.

Whoever stayed near, that person alone had to put up with all such words (flung out at her). Ma was the onlyone who stayed a little longer with them. Sometimes, supposing she (Ashu's mother) continued accusing (Ma) inthat vein for sometime, it would be seen that eventually a feeling of affection had arisen in her, as if nothing atall was left in her mind-as though she had never spoken anything blaming Ma in the least-a beautiful goodfeeling. Bholanath felt that as his wife had to be left for her maintenance with his elder brother, he being himselfout of employment, it would not be right, in those circumstances for him to remain himself too as anotherdependant on his brother.

With this consideration, he stayed in Dacca, and moving about to different places, kept looking for a job.

Sometimes he went to the houses of his other relations too.

In Perfect Seva - where is Leisure for Looking after the Body?

Aggravation of Revati Baba's illness continued. He went to Dacca for treatment, taking all of them with him.

The treatment in Dacca did not help him much, and as such, he went to Calcutta. Later, he came back to Dacca,and hen went to Atpara (his own village), taking all others with him. He became a littk better with the Ayurvedic(Indian system of medicine) treatment there.

Ma's hands and feet were tender and, as we know, due to continuous work with the use of water all the time, Shehad developed sores between toes and fingers.

When all of them had arrived from Dacca at their home in the village of Atpara, some of the ladies of the

locality and also the girls from neighbouring houses of Sudra families commented on looking at the sores inhands and feet of Ma.

They said to Ma: "What sort of a person you are! Have you no feeling of any pain in your body, noburning sensation either? Are you devoid of any physical sensation? Are you not a human being ?" Theyshowed their sympathy in this way.

They did not, of course, know at that time that, by obeying the biddings given to Her, Ma had to fulfil the aspectof seva in all respects.

Later on, one day while staying at Narundi, Kalipada, the eldest son of Revati Babu, told his mother:"Mother, the aunt has developed something unhealthy between Her fingers due to much use of water. Ido not feel like eating from Her hands. When Her hands will be - conic normal, She will resume cooking;for the time being you cook."

On this she did not say anything and Ma continued to work as usual.

Implicit Obedience Without Discriminating between Truth and Falsehood

The girls of sudra family of Atpara mentioned above had a deep love for Ma. It was usual for them, as reported,to discuss sympathetically the comforts and discomforts of Ma, while looking upon Her as their own.

Till then, Ma had not even spoken to them, and had Her veil on.

When Ma left the utensils (unwashed after use) at the ghat of the tank for scrubbing and cleaning, those girls ofthe Sudra family sometimes scrubbed them clean and then left them under water, so that Ma would not have toundergo the labour of doing the same, and neither would people get any scent of it.

It so happened one day that Ma, with the veil on, was returning home from the ghat, carrying the utensils in Herhands after they had been cleaned. It was common with Ma to have, sometimes, a sudden upsurge of bhava likelightning. So (in such a bhava), the pile of utensils fell down from Her hands and the edge of one plate gotbroken.

The girls of the sudra family saw this.

Because of the severity of illness of Revati Babu, Bholanath was at Atpara at that time. He stole an opportunityto contact Ma and quickly gave the following instruction to Her regarding this incident: "You will have to listento these words of mine! You must not, at present, disclose to anybody anything about the breaking of the plate.Serve me dinner on that broken plate at night."

Bholanath knew that Ma would immediately go and report the fact. Taking the broken plate in Her hand, Shewould speak to Ashu's mother that the plate had slipped out of Her hand and was broken somewhere on theedge. Then, the way Ashu's mother would take Ma to task, that too he knew. And it was, indeed, natural that oneshould be admonished in such a case.

For Ma, it is obedience only.

She served dinner at night on that broken plate to Bholanath. As Bholanath was taking food, suddenly was hearda loud noise. What had happened? On enquiry it was found that the drinking glass had slipped from the hand ofBholanath and chipped off the edge of the plate. This is what was publicised. Ma, however, remained in aserious mood, and kept dumb, because this was the order of Bholanath. Whether Ma disclosed anything of it toanyone else later on, was known to Her only.

Bholanath acted like this at that time, but later on he might have related this incident to others. However, Matold Bholanath: "This is all lies; was it proper ?"

Bholanath replied: "The girls of that house insisted on my doing this in such a way that I had to tell you to dothis. However, telling a lie is never correct." About ibis, Ma once said smilingly: "No one had told this body tokeep the chipped part of the plate too there, hence that was not done. If someone had looked for that chippedpart, then all the false trickery would have been exposed."

It was heard that Bholanath had acted like this in consultation with the girls of that sudra family so that the Badumay not be taken to task on account of breaking the plate. Those girls had managed, after a long persuasion, tohave Bholanath agree to act like this. This incident reminded us of something else.

In Bengal, in a certain ceremony at the time of marriage, the groom is made to promise three times, in keepingwith the custom of women, that he will cover up the faults and make known the virtues of the bride.

Did Bholanath, recollecting that promise, get it fulfilled in this was through this single act in the present case?This incident also reveals the fact that without expecting any reward and not even caring for commitment of asin by hiding truth through false action, but only out of seva of Ma, those girls had done this, showing theirextraordinary sympathy and love for Her.

What earnestness it was that had prompted them to persuade Bholanath to act like that!

Expression of kriya of Sympathy

Winning of Heart

When Ashu's father was better, they all came back to Sripur from Atpara. As we know, Ashu's father had greataffection for Ma. In those days, there was strict enforcement of keeping a distance in the relation between thewife of a younger brother and his elder brother. The wife could not touch even his shadow, and if by accidentone touched the other, then she would have to fast. Despite this rule, and even while staying behind the veil, Manever failed in Her seva to Revati Babu.

One day, on being annoyed with Ashu's mother, Revati Babu was about to throw away the utensils. On comingdown from the first floor, Ma tried to quickly remove the utensils from where they were kept. In doing this, Sheunexpectedly touched Revati Babu, the elder brother of Her husband through that utensil. That was all, and Mahad to go on a fast, etc., the whole day and night without taking a drop of water. The household chores were,however, attended to practically without any interruption.

Ma, as one knows, would do everything after taking instructions (from Ashu's mother). So, when at times, thissort of irritation would be there between them (Revati Babu and his wife), She would ask her: "What shall Icook?" Initially perhaps, she would not respond at all for a while. Later, with the remnant of anger still there, hewould reply: "Get someone to ask him (Ashu's father) and then cook according to his instructions."

Ma would sit there quietly for sometime, and then, as if affected with a feeling of sadness and while lookingdownwards, would ask gently, again and again:

"Please tell me what to cook, it is almost dusk."

After this sort of thing would go on for sometime, perhaps she would tell (Ma what to do). This kind of sceneused to take place quite often. But the feeling of affection for Ma was much in evidence in her.

Ma's Reply to Bholanath in the Context of his Letter

Ever unvarying Same Serene Cheerfulness

Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya took Ma to Kheora from Sripur. It was almost after a year ofmarriage that Bholanath wrote a letter (to Ma). Ma was not used to reading letters; no one had ever told Her (toread a letter), nor bad they taught Her (to read and write a letter). It was a small village with no post office.There was a post office in another village, and a postman from there carrying mail (of this village) would deliverit to one person of this village, and the villagers would sort it out and distribute it among themselves. Kheorawas the place of Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya's maternal uncle, hence many people there were related toMa as grandfather (in village relationship). Ma had acquaintance with all in that village and everybody lookedupon Ma with affection. When that letter arrived, well, there was an uproar to tease Ma: 'Now, Nirmala hasreceived a letter from Bholanath! Ma remained in a serious mood and kept looking down, as if She had notheard anything.

She kept moving away from them in a way as one in embarrassment.

That letter was given to Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi. In order to catch Ma's attention, she kept it at a placewhere Ma moved about. As for Ma, She never took notice of it, neither did She pick it up. In those days, it was amatter of embarrassment for the mother to hand over such a letter to the daughter. Here the daughter was alsoshy; She would not do anything which would adversely affect the appearance of Her bhava of shyness beforeeveryone. So what was to be done? Some members of the family assembled (to find a way out). One of themsuggested that the letter be dropped in front of Her while She passed by. Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi didjust that. But, as she did not say anything about it to Ma, so Ma moved about in Her own (usual) bhava (withoutpicking up the letter).

After quite a few days had passed, a second letter came from Bholanath.

Now, this second letter has arrived! Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi started worrying terribly, as Bholanathmight be annoyed on not getting any reply. Realizing the situation, two or three persons again got together, readboth the letters and made out a draft reply. A grandmother of Ma, then, went to Her and said: "Here is this draft,you must make a verbatim copy of whatever is written in it and then give it to me. You have not to do anythingelse. None had told Ma how a copy is made.

Keeping (the draft) before Herself, She copied each word exactly in the style and in the place it was written andthen returned the piece of paper without any comment. Later on, when Ma was at Bholanath's place, he askedHer: "Were the contents of the letter written by you?"

Ma related the whole incident.

Feeling as if somewhat hurt, he said: "Had this been known before, who would have cared to write the letter.Well, our parents have united us; did you not feel even like enquiring about my well-being ?"

Ma rejoined: "There was no Kheyala at all about it."

Bholanath then said: "Supposing I pass away, I do not live!" On this, there was not the least sign of a differentbhava visible on Ma's face, as though She was the same in all circumstances. In the same complacent, simpleand artless way,

She replied:

"Not there, what difference" (since Atma is ever the same).

Bholanath neither became irritated nor was perceptibly hurt even. He just said: "Your intelligence is that of amere child. With age one becomes mature and then springs forth a response to love.' Today Bholanath is nomore, but he had predicted correctly (about his passing away).

THE SUPREME TATTWA

according to different traditions

Eternal, Transient

Two Forms of tile Same One

When questioned repeatedly on this subject, Ma said: "Look, if you bring a new earthen pot and it is broken,powdered and made one with earth, then, here you get two separate forms, but in these two forms there is Oneonly - He alone is.

Do you know why you ask like this?

You distinguish between the two and thereby reap the fruit of separation. The positive outcome of enjoyment ofearthly goods is that one becomes happy on getting the desired object and miserable when deprived of it.

In the field of enjoyment of sense objects, where one is propelled by a desire, this (the above fact) is, indeed, thefruit of one's action and it is there where it should be. Where there is no question of enjoyment and non-enjoyment, it is only THAT, whatever you may call it. Indeed, Baba, it is THAT alone!

Body Perishable

Not to be Grieved for Atma Imperishable

Again, from the worldly point of view too consider another aspect. Moving along a street, you may notice anelectric bulb dropping on the ground and getting shattered to pieces. What do you do about it? On recalling thisincident, when you relate it to someone, evoking it perhaps with a sense of fun and laughter, what explanation doyou then put forth in terms of mental agony? To ensure that the shreds of the broken bulb do not hurt anybody,someone may rather carefully collect and deposit them all at a place where no one steps upon them.

Consider this aspect as well: where there is no question of movement non-movement, action non-action, it is theOne Brahman without a second. Where do you keep (the shreds of the broken bulb)? On the earth only (theBengali for earth is Mati) which when broken up as Ma-ti is 'the Mother' alone. (Again), you also say the wordAtma (in which too is Ma, i.e. the Mother). So, Ma being common, Mati stands for Atma, and Atma is one withParamAtma.

Parabrahman Paramatman �

Where is the Question of Birth and Death: Ajat (Uncreated) �

World Ever Unreal In Past, Present and Future.

Now understand as to where Paramatman, Parabrahman is.

Where there is no question of creation, preservation and dissolution, then from where (can the question arise) ofbirth or death pertaining to worldly life? Past, present, future-where can there be the cycle of time? Also, thestate, which is particularly regarded as that of Mahakal, is a subject to be enquired into. The aspect of Ajat isalso to be understood through self-deliberation.

Asparsa Yoga, as you say, surely pertains to Aspanda.

Svamool Svarupa

- Mool of All Tattwas

All, negation of all, beyond not beyond-where it is, how can it be described? (It could be done) had it beenpossible to express it through bhasha (language). When expressed, it is language and that is bondage (as anexpression by language is in duality).

* A pun on the word bhasha which in Bengali means language. With a slightchange in spelling, the pronunciation being the same (bhasa) it means to float,So through language, you only float as a separate entity in duality.

Noticing all this peculiar behaviour of Ma, Bholanath perhaps told Ashu's mother, the wife of his elder brother,who had negotiated the marriage of the former. "Bu Thakurani (address with respect to the wife of elderbrother), this, the bahii you have brought in the family, what a strange type!" He said something else too, knownto them only.

Bholanath questioned: �If I do not live?�

Ma replied: "What matters, if you don't."

In this reply of Ma, evidently the underlying meaning disclosed was that the body is perishable while Atman isimperishable. After mentioning a few aspects in this context, finally Ma spoke about Svamool, the fulfilment ofall objectives.

With the analogy of pot and earth, in both the conditions, earth alone is there. Similarly, eternal, ephemeral,perishable, imperishable, in the two forms, there is but One only-the elf. Dualistic idea is the cause of grief.

Again, where only identification with body alone is viewed �

�one who is born is sure to die.�

The body is ephemeral, one day it is sure to meet its end.

So it is useless to grieve for what is inevitable. Ma cites the analogy of breaking of bulbs in this context.

On the other hand, where only the supreme Objective is concerned, there is no question of birth and death, �

only from empirical point of view, there are body and jagat.

Also, in the context of jagat, which does not exist at any time in the present, past and future - there is nocreation at all, the visible body, etc., are, in fact, an illusion only.

The Supreme Reality alone reveals in diverse forms.

Therefore, there cannot be any cause for grief, since it is He Only in all appearances.

The fulfilment of the aforesaid various aspects and ways of Reality is in the revelation, of Svamool, alreadymentioned. Each line of sadhana leads to the revelation of its mool and all such mools Te in Svamool. On thecompletion of sadhana there reveals the Ishta according to that line of sadhana. All Ishtas are, in fact, aparticular form of Bhagavan and only on the revelation of Svomool, is the fulfilment ; all abiding in all. In Ma'swords, referring to Svamool there, all, absence of all, beyond not beyond, how to describe ? Here grief, absenceof grief, all are forms of Bhagavan, and there is no question of grief, beyond grief-there is that Akhanda Puma(Indivisible Whole, the Perfect), say what you may, it is that.

That is why Ma replied What matters if you do not live. That is, where is the question of grief over passing awayof the body.

Letter written to Bholanath

This also a Form of Obedience

Bholanath did not often stay long with his brother, as the former was without any job and was looking for one.His third sister's husband was employed in Dacca and Bholanath went to his house. The sister kept him with herfor a long time with love. Bholanath was continuing his stay there for a long period. So Ashu's mother one daycalled Ma and said: "Look Nirmala, I want to tell you something, listen."

When Ma came near her, she said:

"How strange you are that you cannot win over your husband; he does not even come here! What sort of awoman you are, unconcerned - a woman hard to account for indeed! Bring a piece of paper and a pen-here theyare. Write a letter. I shall tell you what to write."

Now Ma did not know how to write a letter at all.

After marriage, Ma had been taken from Sripur to Kheora, and then Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya hadescorted Ma back to Sripur. When returning (to Kheora), at that time, he had told Ma, Nirmala, here is a piece ofpaper. After I reach Kheora, you write on a separate piece of paper whatever is written here and send it to me.This is the customary way of writing a letter. If you feel like writing some-thing else too, do write." Maenquired: "How soon should 1 write?"

After (knowing that and) calculating the time accordingly, Ma copied verbatim what he had written and askedsomeone to post the letter.

Words spelt rightly or wrongly, whatever it was, this was how a process of some sort began of Ma's writingletters. The language of the letter was like this 'Hope you reached safely. Are you keeping good health? I amhaving a peculiar feeling since your departure and nothing at all seems enjoyable. When will you come again?etc.,' - the contents were all of this type.

As for the letter which Ashu's mother had asked Ma to write, Ma wrote whatever She could. Ashu's mother thenread it, and after making necessary amendments, posted the letter (to Bholanath). Since Bholanath had stayedlong at his sister's house, many of them who were of the same age-group there had become like friends ofBholanath. So when that letter reached the house of Bholanath's sister, there was a scramble for it.

The letter was snatched and opened, and then, in the midst of all there followed at once riotous amusement withhearty banter. This was just about all - regarding Ma's reading and writing. Bholanath's sister took that letterfrom Bholanath and later, at some other time, gave it to Ma and said: "Here it is, take it! What a scene wasenacted-an awkward situation for (poor) Ramani (Bholanath), because of this letter! Ma tore up the letter, threwit away and said:

"All that was written according to the dictation of Ashu's mother."

However, after the death of Revati Babu, when Ma had come from Atpara to Vidyakut where She stayeddefinitely for more than a year, whenever Bholanath, who was then at Ashtagram, his new place of employment,would write to Ma from there on any particular issue, She would also write back in reply about those significantpoints.

Binding of Hard Discipline on Bahu;

Ma in Flawless Pattern of Compliance

A year later, Ma went (from Sripur) to Kheora, and after staying there for sometime, She was escorted back toSripur. At Sripur, Revati Babu's illness again got aggravated, so he returned to Alpara taking Ma and others in

his ompany. He recovered through Ayurvedic treatment and came back to Sripur, his place of employment, andresumed his duties. At that time, Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya took Ma back to Kheora fromAtpara.

She lived with Her parents at Kheora for sometime. Meanwhile, Revati Babu was transferred to Narundi RailwayStation. Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya too wound up his settlement at Kheora and taking Ma andall others along with him came to live at Vidyakut. Later, Ma came to Narundi from Vidyakut.

When Ma was first taken to Narundi, the family of the Assistant Station Master there had not arrived till then,and, therefore, it was arranged that he take both his meals at the house of the Station Master Revati Babu. Mawas very young then. She cooked and Ashu�s mother served the Assistant Station Master both the times. Buthe could not join others (at mealtime), because of his duties which kept him busy till odd hours. He came late atnight as well as during the day to take his meals. Ma used to neatly preserve his food and keep it warm, as Shewould have done for others. Later, Ashu's mother felt it troublesome to serve him food both the times because oflate hours and told Ma: "You serve him both the times with the veil on." The purdah system was, then, prevalentin villages and young women could not appear in front of others. But for Ma, obeying instructions was the rule,and so She did just that.

At that time, Ma did not wear any stitched apparel (like a bodice or chemise) but wore only a sari. The way Shedraped Herself was so beautiful that one could see only Her hands and feet Due, possibly, to excessive work,Her sari was torn in a somewhat short period. That was the reason why, a little before leaving Narundi, Ma wasgradually provided with such a coarse sari that it was perhaps almost like fine gunny. Wearing that only, Ma didHer work of cooking, etc., in the heat of summer with a smiling face.

Noticing this, a feeling of sympathy arose in others and they commented.

"What a pity that such a young bride with so tender a body has to wear a sari so coarse and yet remain engaged(in work) in such heat.

Again, look, what a smile is there on Her face, as though She is devoid of any sensations not feel anything atall!"

When serving food to the Assistant Station Master, Ma would offer it with a veil on and in a large plate withrice and the different other articles well arranged on it. A little later, thinking that a second helping may perhapsbe needed, She would again take and offer all the dishes in a large plate. He would take whatever he liked or tellMa that he did not need anything more. Ma would, then, go back, finishing Her serving in these two rounds only.She served in this fashion so that She may not have to go (in his presence) time and again.

We have already mentioned that the Assistant Station Master would come very late at night after finishing hisduty. Who should open the door at such a late hour (was the question)? Ashu's second brother, about five toseven years of age, was made to sleep with Ma, so that She may not have to be all alone in the room. She wouldwake up the boy, unbolt the door and ask him to hold it on and open it only after Her going away to the kitchen.

He would just do that.

The boy would be drowsy, being a child, and would return to sleep. Ma had been instructed to serve and,therefore, She would go, with the veil on, in the presence of the gentleman only when food was served. Ma hadmade this arrangement for only this reason that She my not meet him on any other occasion.

In those days, when Ma was under household discipline, the hard code of conduct binding on a bahu as well asthe practice of remaining under a veil was of this nature (as mentioned above). For Ma, all indeed, was a play, asbefitting a particular occasion. Whatever situation presented itself at any time, Ma would unfold Herself withthat aspect in such a way that the pattern and appearance of that aspect would be flawless. Whatever theenvironment and situation there was at any time, the relevant necessary advice and instructions (to be issued)would be created by Ma and then observed by Herself.

All Aspect Absence of Aspects, Pertain to the Same One Svarupa;

- its manifestation as appropriate to each place: �Adhinai�

- portrayal of what is not Real.

Having heard Ma's words, and after observing Her behaviour and also hearing what little he could about Hersadhana, etc., the venerable Gopinath Kaviraj Mahasaya remarked one day:

"Ma, all these behaviours and sadhana of yours which followed an order and system were just abhinai (acting ofcertain roles), was it not?"

Ma: "Drama - that is only an exhibition in which what is exhibited does not exist (is merely an imaginaryimitation).

When there is a drama, it is a series of actions in a performance at an appointed time for entertainment. Aprogramme is made to entertain the spectators fully during specified hours. This is what is in vogue. When thedesire arises to give a perfect shape to the drama, then a regular and systematic preparation (for its performance)i.e., a rehearsal (is first held).

That is, that, which did not exist, was given shape by the preparation through kalpana (imagination).

(However, where the Reality is concerned), a jiva is identical with Shiva, so also is a woman with Gauri -Divine Mother), Jagat (world) is but Hari only and Hari is but jagat only.

Jagat and Hari are not separate entities.

Purna* and ansh (whole and part): when the whole is subtracted from the whole, the remainder is the wholeonly. What a spark can burn, the fire itself too does the same. But the spark issues forth from fire, and so it hasits own form - just as whole and part.

*Purna is the eternal undifferentiated whole. So there can be nothing besides it.That is why the question of any addition to or subtraction from it does notarise.

As Ma says: "He in Himself only - is (both) whole and part."

When Mahavir was questioned (about his bhava towards Sri Rama) you all, indeed, say that the reply he gavewas: "In identity, there is only the One Self, undifferentiated. Again, He is the whole and I am a part, and whenHe is the master, I am His servant." Therefore, you should understand as to whom is in identity.

He in Himself only is (both) whole and part.

Again, it is He only in the form of master and servant too. So where there is lila-khela, in that realm, even beingOne, there are the three, One alone is in those three - Self, Self, Self, thrice Self. In these three (One Self, wholeand part, and master and servant), there is only one Svarupa, revealing a particular aspect in the context of aparticular place.

When you talk of lila-khela of Bhagavan, He Himself is there as appropriate to a particular place.

What is truth eternal, that itself is within that lila-khela as well.

Again, the world as such has never been created (Bhagavan in this form too). When, with form, on whatever theeyes rest, only Krishna is revealed there. Now, see the place of Master and servant too. The One Self, whole andpart, Master and servant - within the realm of jiva, accepting the aspect of Master and servant, one shouldproceed in sadhana, aiming at the realization of Self-wealth, that is getting established in that One Self. So oneshould understand who is whole and who is part, who is Master and who is servant In other words, He alone is

in the form of one Atman, oneness; and, in the form of the whole and part also, is THAT alone. Again, He whois the Master, the servant also is I{c. That is why there was that reply of Mahavir. The three, indeed, are in theOne, the One alone is the three--this is what he had in view. In the realm of jiva too, one, who treads this way,undertakes that sadhana-kriya in order to realize the wealth of one's own Svarupa, the Self-wealth.

Moreover, understand this that in jiva-jagat, where the domain is of mental acceptance, there is transitoriness.Again, consider the side pertaining to khela within the realm of Bhagavan. Of course, within the domain ofmental acceptance, we have observance of good manners, modesty, acting, etc. Jiva means bondage, worldmeans motion within that (are good manners, modesty, etc.). But, in the Lila-khela of Tat, He alone is inHimself, remember this.

Where there is no question of place or absence of place, whatever Svarupa in whichever particular form, in anexpressed idea and language, in letters (of a language) no letters-who is it and where is it in manifestation, findout. And that unmanifest, beyond mind and speech what does your Shastra say?

Understanding is in the realm of mind only, where you understand a thing through investigation to the best ofyour abilities in tile process of acceptance and non-acceptance by mind, within the purview of thoroughcontinuous search.

On the other hand, is not your enquiry about this body (i.e., Ma's body)? - well, as Bhagavan plays. Indeed, here,the happenings are as He in Himself.

Having spoken in this manner, Ma kept quiet."

That the aspects of sadhana unfolded a new this is not the case with Ma.

Then what for was the sadhana,

when there is no question of attainment or no attainment?

Was it mere abhinai (drama) then? In the following answer to this doubt of respected Kaviraj Mahasaya, there isan indication of Ma's Svarupa in Her own words: the pattern of play of Bhagavan, certainly it is taking place byitself in the Self.

It is He alone,

the One,

in all forms,

in absence of forms,

in the form of jiva,

in the form of woman,

in the form of jagat,

He indeed is the Oneness in the form of one Atman,

in the form of whole and part,

it is THAT alone.

Again, He who is Prabhu (master), it is e who is Das (Servant) as well,

the three abide in One, the One only is three Self, Self, Self - Self three times.

That is, it is the Svarupa abiding in the three appropriate revelations (One Atman, whole and part, Prabhu andDas).

In other words, in the context of anything at any time pertaining to the Lila-Khela of Bhagavan, it is lie Him-self, the One alone.

Again, where there is no question of creation, the jagat does not exist at any time in the past, present and futureand in the form of this uncreated too is He. In the context of Sakar (with form), -

there is Krishna only,

the One alone and it is He, again, who unfolds Himself in all forms,

in the manifest form too, it is He, and again �

in the unmanifest form too,

beyond mind and speech,

it is He alone.

In the context of the aforesaid Tattwa of Bhagavan, in all forms, without form, in manifest, unmanifest, it isBhagavan only, the One alone. Similarly, when any aspect presented itself to Ma, then in order that the way theformation arid appearance of that aspect may be perfect, Ma would unfold Herself in that form. Presently, Ma isin the appearance of a badhu, so with the aspect of an ideal badhu, Ma is in this play with its complete form.

This is what Ma says: "� transformation of the self in the self."

An abhinai means to give a shape to that which is not real,

whereas in the case of Ma, in all Her Kriyas,

it is She alone, being all as well as being none too.

All these are not within the purviews of investigation pertaining to the domain of mind. That is why Ma alwayslays stress that one must remain devoted to sadhana daily under the direction of the Guru, in the kriya forremoval of the curtain of ignorance. Then only one may have a flash of Ma's Svarupa, the way She will allowHerself to be comprehended.

In the form of Bahu,

In the Form of Mother,

In the Form of Devi, THAT only.

Reverting to the previous subject, when later, the family of' the Assistant Station Master arrived, whenever hefelt any discomfort at home, he, it is reported, would say,

'There, at such odd hours, the food etc., was served with such care as if with the loving hands of a mother".

When (later), Ma was in the midst of all, he once came to have Ma's darshan. She, whom he had one day seenbehind the veil of a badhu (newly married girl), whose hands and feet only were then visible, today he saw Herwithout veil, in the form of Mother. What a feeling of respect and devotion for Ma was noticed in him! It washeard that the food served by Ma's hands had aroused in him (for Ma), for the first time, the feeling of respect

and devotion due to a mother.

When the wife of the Assistant Station Master first came to Narundi, she saw Ma in Her kitchen from her ownquarter. Later, when she came to visit Ashu's mother, she said "That day I saw a bahu (daughter-in-law) throughthe window of your kitchen so beautiful, like the image of a Devi; where is She? Pointing towards Ma, Ashu'smother said: "There, She is in the kitchen!" She was not able to believe it in any way and said: "Yes, probably itis She, but that day, 1 saw through that window someone like the celestially beautiful image of Devi.

She does not resemble her correctly."

Who knows what form Ma had shown to her!

The wife of a brother of this Assistant StationMaster had embroidered, on a carpet, a very beautiful vigraha ofSri Krishna playing the flute. Whenever Ma had some leisure, during that time, She also would copy a part ofthat vigraha on a separate piece of carpet. By the time Ma would finish Her nightly duties, it would be almosteleven-thirty. After this, She would light up a kerosene lamp and carry on this handicraft for a while.

The soot from kerosene had naturally its reaction in the nostrils, but who cared for such things. Meanwhile, therewas a talk about their transfer, so they too helped Ma to finish Her embroidery work on the carpet hurriedly.They also loved Ma very much.

Unmanifest,

All - Pervading,

One with ALL - Embodied Form Ma's bhava.

When they were transferred from Narundi, a Muslim employee came in his place. His sister used to discuss many good aspects of theirreligion with Ma. In that discussion, there flowed a stream of joy, as if there was no question at all that there were different religions. Therelationship with them developed so much that their friendship was eternal as it were. Through the spirit of talk, etc., the bhava of Ma tooused to take a different turn. Because the talk was oil religion, there, the ideas and language were related to identification with Tat. So longas religion was the subject of talk; no matter what religion, that was all that counted with Ma.

When Ma appeared in bhava and the like, then, on being questioned ii that context and in the discussion thatfollowed, we have heard (from Ma) that even from infancy what strange manifestation Would find its play attimes for a short period in Ma's body in the midst of daily dealings within every one's sight - (revealing Herselfin Herself);

whether*

*As stated here, Ma as the one Tattwa (Reality) reveals in different aspects.Firstly, there is the transcendental Ultimate.

About this, which can not be defined by asserting its existence or absence ofexistence, the idea is conveyed by the, words whether it exists or not. Secondly,there is the all pervading aspect, which is here pointed out by the words, whichis the place where it possibly does not exist, and finally the aspect ofmanifestation as the One with all. For this aspect, the words used here arewhich is the place where it possibly exists separately. In Ma's bhava was theconcrete presence of this Ultimate Truth.

it exists or not, and which is the place where it possibly does not exist or which is the place where it possiblyexists separately a concrete revelation (of the bhavas in Her person, i.e., these bhavas were concretised in Herbody during that strange manifestation).

During that time, from our point of view, where was there the bhava of the severe rule of conduct for a badhu -this aspect too disappeared. At such a time, if Ma was engaged in any work, that work would not be carried outin the usual way.

Even this too happened once at Atpara that though Ma could see that there was milk in the pot, yet with thesame milk, perhaps, She washed Her hands, as if water and milk have the same use. In household life, there aredomestic duties and dharma that sustains-should we consider that this form is His who sustains**.

**In grihastashram, there is grihastadharma (household duties performed inaccordance with injunctions of shastras). If this dharma is followedscrupulously, it would lead one to realize the Supreme Objective of life. This iswhat is meant by religion sustaining a householder.

Now, Atma is the source of all sustenance, and being all, there is only onenessthere without any distinction. From this standpoint, use of milk is the' same asuse of water.

Here it is not a case of Yogic Vibhuti but a revelation of Ma in all forms.

Some would see also these bhavas of Ma (by chance). what benediction was bestowed upon them (whohappened to see those bhava through that unusual kriya (of Ma), we do not know. Suddenly, perhaps, one of themistress of the house noticing Ma washing bands with milk, said: "What is this you are doing!" Just a littlerebuke like this and Ma appeared as a simpleton-a foolish bau, who as if did not under-stand anything.

As for Ma, whatever happened at any time, it took place by itself.

In this, there was nothing at all fabricated and arranged in any orderly fashion.

In the context of an awfully difficult particular situation, Ma said this also suddenly it occurred in kheyala byitself, 'this' should be the nature of dealing with a particular person (Ma never disclosed what She meant by'this').

Every behaviour of Ma is, of course, for our kalyana. This (our kalyaiuz) was brought about by Her repeatedKiwyala appearing by itself only, as much as it did and wherever it did9 as appropriate at a particular time*.

* Because the Reality is always One and it alone is, there is oneness in bothsituations, i.e., in the case where the behaviour is with distinction or with outdistinction. However, this one Reality appears differently due to the con-text ofdifference in prominence of a certain aspect.

Whatever it may be, noticing such ways of Ma, there would arise a feeling of sympathy in Ashu's mother too. AtNarundi, say, Ma was at work in the kitchen. Then, finishing that work hurriedly, She would be sitting leisurely,like a statue.

Question: What was the matter at that time Ma? Till then, the aspect of play of sadhana had not started!

Ma: "Strange! Even now too, this body sometimes does remain silent in its own Kheyala. Do you not noticeyourself that on some rare occasion so many hours pass away (in this way)."

Normal or Uncommon - Both, Indeed, the Same One.

Thus, it so happened one day that Ashu's mother came and as soon as she saw Ma, she started talking to herself:"Well, what sort of a sleep is this, sitting only!" Having said this she continued talking (to herself), do not knowwhat, for quite sometime. After that, coming near Ma, she gave a thrust to Her and probably said: "Does it noteven reach you ears what I say?"

Then, somehow Ma opened Her eyes and controlling Herself went back to work. They were not acquainted withthese ways of Ma, hence such behaviour was normal for them.

At Sripur too, one night Ashu's mother told Ma: "Go and lull this child to sleep." Ma went up to the first floor.That day Ma was off duty of cooking and serving food. Rarely and on such days only, Ashu's mother too did thecooking. After laying down the child and while lulling it to sleep, well, Ma went into Her own bhava, as if there

was nobody anywhere in the world, and no further housework to be attended to.

Receiving no response to repeated calls, probably someone went upstairs, gave a push to Her and called Her togo back downstairs. That person then said: "Everyone has sat down to eat; you do not care to see (look afterothers' needs), but having come upstairs, the matter just ends!"� Ma came down with that person like anobedient girl. After She had come down, possibly someone had already sat down to eat, in front of whom Mawould (normally) never speak and would appear with a veil on.

There, Ma sat down cross-legged near him, with just a little covering on Her head, and as if with greatconcentration, continued to watch him eat. Whether the eyes were fixed or there was winking or not, who wouldnotice it at that time. 'Never caring to see' (look after) was this also taken (by Ma) as an instruction to beobeyed? In a second this happened, and Ashu's mother feeling astonished (said): "What is this you are doing ?"The moment she said this, Ma, in a flurry, put Her veil on and left the place to mind Her kitchen work. They, infront of whom this happened, went into a little laughter. They thought that this had happened probably becauseMa was still sleepy.

That something improper had taken place, Ma had no Kheyala at all to take note of. On account of such actionsof Ma at times, perhaps someone would get displeased temporarily and talk too a little in that vein. But when Mawould again begin doing work in their midst according to their instructions, well, their feeling of irritationwould, as if, get dissolved and wiped out altogether. Because Ma was simple and guileless, looking upon Herwith affection, fondness and love by them was but natural.

Even now we find that sometimes, observing some distinctive bhavas of Ma, a sense of distance, with a feelingof reverence and devotion due to a supreme majesty (in Her) overwhelms us for the time being. Then, as werecall our common informal behaviour with Ma, we are led to ponder, with a sense of fear and repentance, as towhom we are dealing with and in what a way! (We. then, resolve that) from then onwards, we shall act in adisciplined manner. But, again, when Ma creates such a (familiar) environment through Her jokes, movementsand talks with various modes and gestures, we get lost in that joy only. Where goes, then, our immature, solemnresolve made earlier - how long does it last?

We do, again, exactly what is done under the impulse of the innate tendency of a jiva.

But then, She is our eternal Mother; may She condescend to keep us imbued with this bhava as She does.

The occasional external manifestation in Ma (mentioned earlier) during Her aforesaid behaviour withineveryone's range of vision----this open mood, free from the bondage, as it were; pertaining to the practicalworld, difficult to subdue, flashed for a moment. The facts which would enable other people to know about sucha mood would hardly ever come out of Ma's mouth, perhaps for the reason that how many people could haveunderstood about these moods at that time. In fact, the existing condition, then, was not congenial forunderstanding this aspect-should we take it this way?

Of course, everything is possible if there is Kheyala (of Ma). Accidentally, some people might sometime haveseen this unusual bhava.. They, before whose sight Ma came at that moment, would, afterwards, discuss amongthemselves subjects of spiritual nature too. For them, who happened to be in the presence of Ma, whether in Hernormal or uncommon bhava, it was of course, beneficial. Both the normal and uncommon are certainly the sameto Ma. However, we receive according to our capabilities. Everything, of course, is possible through HerKheyala. Through which aspect of bhava in us, She will make us deserving, is known to Her only-this is whatoccurs in our mind. Yes, we think this too that when we are near a fire, we definitely feel the heat; may be thistoo is in the same way.

Because the bhavas of Ma mentioned above could not be comprehended by others, She was pulled up a little bythem during Her housework at Bholanath's place. But Ma had always the same one bhava only, of just listeningquietly to whatever others might say.

Ma had to fulfil this aspect of duty according to Her own Kheyala.

This She would perform minutely with an expression of joy. For Ma, it was then, for the time being, a play inthe role of a householder.

Sometimes Ma says:

"In jiva-jagat, by taking the San * i.e., the unreal for san *, i.e., what is true, everyone undertakes what isdestined for him and thereby wears out (to that extent) his actions of merit and demerit. Worldly comforts andenjoyments wear out the merits t and worldly suffering results in exhausting the demerits **.

*A pun on the Bengali word sansar (the world or domestic life ), as the twoparts of it, San and sar, have different meanings. San means a clown-one whoassumes a fake appearance for amusement and sar means essence, i.e., the onlything that really counts.

** According to the Law of Karma, by good actions, we earn merit, the fruit ofwhich is worldly comfort and enjoyments; and by bad actions, demerit isearned, the fruit of which is suffering. So, when we enjoy the fruit of worldlyhappiness, we exhaust our merits earned due to good actions in past lives andby suffering, demerit is exhausted.

Is it not this what you say-that which is the innate tendency of jiva? About Ma, however, it happens by itself,whatever it may be at any time.

MA'S HOUSEHOLD DUTIES:

DAILY ROUTINE

At Narundi, Ma used to get up very early, and from then on, remained busy with housework. On the previousnight, Ma would have washed the kitchen floor and plastered it with a layer of a mixture of mud and cow dung.

At that early hour, the servant Antu would milk the cow and after cleaning the pot and ladle, place the pot andmilk in front of Ma. At the sometime, while looking at the floor or at the feet of Ma, he would say in a tone fullof great respect and sympathy.

"Chhota Ma, chhota Ma,* be quick please; place the milk on the fire to boil it for the senior master."

*Literally junior mother-an address of respect for the wife of the youngerbrother of the master of the house.

The servant Antu used to clean the utensils of the family. Ma would, however, have Her big veil on even beforethe servant and would not speak to him either. Ma would change Her clothes quickly, boil the milk and serve itto Revati Babu. Antu had a very good nature, indeed. Much later, having heard Ma's fame, he came for Herdarshan and expressed great joy.

After boiling the milk and serving it, to Revati Babu, Ma would light the kitchen fire, take instructions fromAshu's mother as to what 'items of food were to be cooked and collect them accordingly. After that vegetableswere cut, spices, etc., ground to a paste, and then followed cooking. Sometimes spices were ground by theservant. From the very morning, Ma had to minister to the children of Her husband's elder brother in every way-feeding them, getting their hands and mouth rinsed after meals-clean the floor, etc. At times Ma had to feed andbathe them too with Her own hands. Ashu's mother used to cut vegetables both times daily. Ma had to cookagain at noon, serve food to all and in between, knead wheat flour and keep the dough immersed in water. Afterthe midday meal, during whatever respite Ma got, She would engage Herself a littlo in handicraft too. In theafternoon, Ma took that dough out of water,. worked on it to soften it further, and making parathas* out of it,served them to Ashu's father for a light repast.

* paratha A kind of bread-fried, flat, large, but not thick, generally made ofwheat flour.

Again, lighting up kitchen fire, et., arrangements were made for cooking the night meal.

Obedience and Compassion

- A Play of Simultaneous kriyas of Harshness and Affection

One day Revati Babu was about to admonish Ashu to make him mind his studies. Out of fear, Ashu screamed,ran quickly to Ma and hugged Her. He knew that in such a condition, his father would not be able to touch him.

Revati Babu ordered Ma: "Bau Ma, separate the boy."

Now, what could Ma do? On the one hand, there was the child clinging to Her, crying bitterly, and on the otherhand, there was Revati Babu's order! Ma tried with Her one hand as if to forcibly remove one hand of Ashu, andsimultaneously with Her second hand, She kept wiping his tears with the edge of Her sari. What more couldRevati Babu do? Observing this scene, he quietly left the place. After this incident, he told Ashu: "Go to youraunt and learn the alphabet from Her." During the cooking hours, Ma would try and find a little time and teachAshu a little of all this. Ashu's education first began with Ma only.

At night, after having fed everybody, Ma would clean the kitchen, take Her own meal, and before going to sleep,work a little, as already mentioned, to produce the embroidery of Shri Krishna Vigraha on a piece of carpet.This was because She bad no leisure at any other time. Moreover, so long as the Assistant Station Master,mentioned above, had his meals there, Ma had to wait for him, with his food, tilt late at night.

Very often, Ma had to break coal to smaller pieces with Her own hands and then light the oven. At times, thePanipare (the man who draws water and supplies it) of the railway station would come and as per instructionfrom Ashu�s mother, break coal and fetch the required quantity of water too.

Sansar in its own Way.

Revati Babu was a heavy smoker. When going back after his work, that Panipare would get the tika* ignited tolight Revati Babu's tobacco.

*A small cake made out of charcoal powder; and used to light tobacco in ahookah.

He used to leave the tika before Ma and She would, after getting it ignited in kitchen fire, keep it on the ground.The Panipare would then pick it up and take it away. Generally, indeed, it went on like this. One day, when Mawas about to put the tika on the ground after it had been ignited, he came near to take it from Her hand itself. Mamoved aside quickly and dropped the tika on the ground. Ma would have Her long veil on without fail and nevertalked to these people. The man picked up the tika and went back. Ma reported this incident to Ashu's mother;She said: "Yes, that fool is of this nature, he has no sense at all!"

She addressed these words to herself only and probably did not tell Revati Babu about it. If he had heard it, hewould certainly have disciplined the man.

Meanwhile, whenever that Panipare came to break coal and fetch water, his manner of movement was such thatMa had to move away from him. At that time, Revati Babu was dangerously ill. Bholanath was present. Mareported to Bholanath about that man and Bholanath took him to task severely. Ashu's father also heard this. Hetoo scolded tile man heavily and totally stopped him from going to the kitchen side.

A Situation-Aspect of Skilful Handling

In the meantime, Motori Pishima* became widow and joined this family. Now, she cooked the vegetarian dishesfor midday meal.

*She was Bholanath�s younger sister. In Bengali, father's sister is calledPishima.

When any necessity arose, the servant Antu was of much help to her.

In this household, the quota of mustard oil was fixed as three paos (about three-quarter of a litre) per week. Oneday Motori Pishima desired to cook some nice dishes, such as moocha ghanta (a preparation of plantain flower)and the like. The week was almost over and so there was shortage of oil. She came to Ma and said: "Bau Than,what do you suggest I should do?" What could Ma suggest? She only replied: "what can I say, tell me?"

Then, Motori Pishirna herself called Antu and told him: "Look, here is a bottle, get it filled with oil fromwhatever source you may have. Later, we will return you this oil, but keep it a secret."

Antu replied: "Airtight Pishima, I shall get it for you,�" and he really did just that. Later on, that oil wasreturned. There was no evasion in Antu's work; his nature too was very sweet.

One day, Ashu's mother told Ma, 'Take these pieces of burlap and stitch them together so that they may becomesuitable for use under the bedding." Ma started stitching little by little whenever She could get some leisure inbetween Her housework.

Motori Pishima too joined Ma in this needlework. When this work was almost over, Motori Pishima forgot totake out that thick shining sharp needle, and it remained stuck in the burlap. As Ma spread out Her bedding tosleep, well, that needle pierced Her quite deep at the back of Her left leg, a little below the knee.

When Ma tried to move Her leg, She found that the mosquito net, the bedding and that burlapthe entire lot-moved, clinging to Her leg.

By long use, the needle had become bright and sharp. Ma pulled it out, kept it aside and did not speak about it toanyone. The leg got swollen and gradually that particular spot became hard, and it is still like that. Ma alwayshad this bhava, namely, what was the benefit of discussing such an incident?

What has happened already cannot be undone.

So She never had any leisure to have any Kheyala about a matter of this kind.

Play of Bestowing Grace while Attracting Affection.

Ma had not gone to Her parents' house for a long time. Once Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya, after comingto take Her home had gone back (without Her). This time Revati Babu wrote to him to come and take Ma. So hecame again. Revati Babu wanted to fix the date when Ma should leave. Meanwhile, Ashu's mother negated theproposal saying: "We cannot let Her go now. Revati Babu also said: "Dear Tayi Mahasaya (brother's father-in-law), you will take away Bau Ma. But, in fact, all arrangements for my meals are taken care of by Pau Ma alone.I am alive only because of Her careful nursing. Sometimes when Ma did not cook for two or three days, hewould enquire: "when is Bau Ma going to cook?" He sometimes even said: "The taste of food cooked by BauMa is like that of my own mother cooking." It is said that Revati Babu's mother cooked well.

When Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya was told that, he became unhappy and returned that verynight. When going back, he told Ma: "what can I do, they have not allowed me to take you." Hearing this, Makept quiet.

That night, probably in identity with the feeling of father with which he had departed, Ma remained awake inHer room till late at night. In the next room were Revati Babu and his family. He had diabetes and so had to goout many times at night.

Through the gap between the door leaves, he saw light and could know that Ma was awake. The next day, hetold Ashu's mother: "Bau Ma was not allowed to go; She is young and could be unhappy. I think Bau Ma had no

sleep at all last night." Revati Babu, as we know, had love and affection for Ma, just as he would have for hisdaughter-in-law or daughter. Sometimes he would say: "When my Kalipada's bride would come home, shewould not be a recipient of more affection from me than Bau Ma".

Kalipada was the eldest son of Revati Babu and was about three and half years younger to Ma. Ashu was theiryoungest son.

Gradually, Revati Babu's illness began to worsen. Once a burning tika fell on his feet. A sore developed due tothat and spread to another part of tile body. He died of this at Narundi itself. Bholanath was present duringRevati Babu grave illness. He was almost always near his brother, nursing him. After Revati Babu expired,Bholanath came to Atpara with everyone and taking everything with him. Even after Revati Babu's last rites hadbeen performed, Ma Continued Her stay at Atpara for a few months. Immediately after the obsequies of RevatiBabu bad been completed, Bholanath went away looking for a job.

After this Ma came to Vidyakut. Right then, Bholanath too got his Ashtagram job.

On the occasion of Revati Babu's shradha kriya (last rites), etc., arrangement were made to feed brahmins and allothers at Atpara. Ma was giv the charge of cooking. At that time, Ma was about sixteen years of age. Butnobody knew how the food for so many people was got prepared. Everyone praised the cook highly. Of course,the ladies who assisted Ma in Her cooking helped Her in such a way as one's mother would, and felt honouredby the praise showered on Ma.

While going away from Atpara to Vidyakut, father came to take Ma home. Revati Babu had only one smalldaughter, who, though a little dark in complexion, had considerable loveliness in her face. That is why Ma badnamed her Labanya (loveliness). She was not satisfied at all unless Ma combed her hair, fed her, etc. One dayshe told her mother: "Mother, may I call aunt my junior mother. I do not feel like calling Her aunt. Her motherforbade her with a rebuke. At Bajitpur too she had told the same thing to her mother. When the time came forMa to start for Vidyakut, Labanya said: "I shall not stay here at any cost without aunt; I shall also go."

So saying, she started rolling on the ground and weeping piteously; nobody could restrain her. Ma kept standingthere, watching. Her mother would not allow her to go with Ma. From the grip of those who tried to hold herback, she shot away and fell on the ground, as if she had immense physical strength. Someone remarked thatafter Ma would start off, she would calm down. Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya then left with Ma.Bholanath, however, had his job t Ashtagram and so he went there from Atpara.

In this chapter, there is a portrayal of the form of seva by Ma in obedience to bidding, while abiding in theperfect pattern of discipline as strictly binding upon a bahu. Whatever the nature of directive at any time, Mawould be in the perfect form and bhava of obeying the same implicitly. It was just obedience alone operatinglike a machine, without question of any place for discretion or reservation with a separate underlying bhavaother than of obedience. In fact, there cannot be any room for them. What a flawless peerless picture of thisaspect as depicted in this chapter

Engaged in all the household chores, Ma was in perfect form of each aspect, sustaining serene cheerfuldisposition. No question of diversion in changing situations, favourable or unfavourable-all indeed, as it were,the form of Ananda in one form or another.

While with Her parents, never did Ma have any occasion to perform such type of work. How then originated thepatterns of such work, and where they came from?

In reply, Ma said: in all these too surely it is THAT only. You differentiate between aspects, so you reap thefruits of actions under the feeling of a separate doer. On the other hand, here (Ma) whatever happens, let it,taking place by itself as it does.

This form of karma, surely,

is of the One only-THAT alone.

That is, in Ma's kriya it is Ma only.

Therefore, in the form of perfect pattern of this seva-bhava, it is Ma alone.

Where actor, action and result of action are looked upon separately, as is reflected in the action of a jiva-such is not the case here.

A jiva under the sense of ego is the reaper of fruits of its actions in diverse forms and, therefore, a hankering forname and fame is inevitably sustained there. But in the case of Ma all that comes to pass is Ma Herself.

Even so, one will marvel as we do, at the perfection of kriya by Her in each situation at such a young age. If Herkriyas were observed carefully, it would be evident that each one of them was a shining manifestation and whenpursued, would help a jiva to unfold the inner qualities for purification of heart as the essential base upon whichthe spiritual structure of a sadhaka would be built.

Besides being very young, Ma had also a tender physique, and yet how She managed every problem of Herhousehold chores, including dealing with elders, love to children and neighbours, and above all, Herunconditional obedience.

All these kriyas are based on absolute truth, completely free from attachment and aversion, a matchlesssimplicity without any show of self in any case, always radiating love, as it were, to one and all, ever a cheerfuldisposition under any condition and a one-pointed zeal and enthusiasm to complete to perfection any workassigned to Her. Ma's Kriya is Ma, yet it is all for us as She often declared. So, if a sadhaka from his very earlylife can develop such qualities, he would then be ready to advance steadily in his sadhana and ultimately hisSvarupa may reveal as one with his kriya-a revelation of Ma's Svarupa in him - the purpose of life gloriouslyfulfilled.

In the context of empirical works too, Ma says, if that also can be performed with the determination tq do it perfectly, then there wouldawaken, in the doer, dexterity in its performance. And this dexterity too can lead to awakening of the kriyas helpful for the journey towardsthe Supreme Objective. So, in the example of Ma's works, one can notice how even the empirical activity can be transformed into asadhana, a preparation for the journey aiming at the revelation of one's Svarupa.

This seva-lila in Ma's grihastashram is of special significance for Ma's devotees and others as well, anoverwhelming majority of whom belong to grihastashram.

In this lila, Ma has revealed Herself, as it were, in a stream of kriyas in different phases in the form of bindingqualities, a technique if followed faithfully, would help an easy unfoldment of the self-an ideal life in grihast-ashram, transforming itself automatically to a sadhaka life through household chores alone.

Their Last Breaths

MA'S YOUNGER MATERNAL UNCLE -

HIS FINAL SUPREME EMANCIPATION IN MA'S PRESENCE

Shriyukt Sharada Charan Vidyasagar Mahasaya, about whom we have already made a mention, was the secondmaternal uncle of Ma.*

Ma did not see Her youngest uncle; he had expired long before Among thesurviving two uncles, this second one was, therefore, called by Ma ChhotaMama (literally youngest uncle in Bengali).

It was he who, of his own accord, had made arrangements and provided materials, etc., in various ways in aspecial manner during the marriage ceremony of Ma. Now, after about four years, Ma had come to Vidyakutfrom Atpara. At this time, this maternal uncle came to see Ma. Although Ma had come to Vidyakut quite some

days back, he had not been able to come and see Her all these days because of his old age and indifferent healthas well. When Ma used to go to Her maternal uncle's house in Her early years, it is said that She enjoyed eatingjack-fruit from a particular tree. She used to walk under its shade and play with leaves and sand. We do notknow who it was in the form of that tree. Who knows if, in concurrence with the attainment of the final Supremegoal, his being in the form of a tree and offering its fruit was his particular manifestation of seva to Ma. The treewas very old. During certain years, it bore so much fruit that some of it came out even piercing the earth fromthe root. The fruits too were of big size.

The uncle had brought with him a fruit from that tree and also several othr presents for Ma. He sat for a whileand then left saying: "Let me go to the Eastern Locality now." There, the daughter of a daughter of his maternaluncle was going to be married. Being invited, Ma too went to that aunt's house next day. By the time the feedingof invitees was over, it was almost the close of day. It was drizzling and getting nearly dark. Ma 'lad Heryounger brother Makhan and sisters Surabala and Hemangini too with Her. Ma searched out Her uncle, and onfinding him, said: "In this dark, I shall have to return alone with these children." When he heard this, he said:"Shall I come with you?" Ma kept quiet. Then he picked up his clothes and came out quickly. He had pain dueto acidity, and after having late lunch, he was lying down to rest for a while. In the house of marriage, theformalities, greetings and blessings due to the bride and groom had not yet concluded. Finding perhaps that therewas none dependable who could accompany Ma, the uncle went himself taking Her along with him. Ma had thekheyala that She would go taking the uncle definitely with Her.

While they were on their way, the rain stopped.

When they reached home, Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi made arrangements for him to sleep in anotherroom. Ma and the rest too went to sleep. Just a little later, the uncle started calling Mokshada Sundari Devi byher name. Ma and all the rest got up and went there quickly. It was noticed that the uncle was saying in aplaintive voice: "Make a bed for me in the open." As Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi was hurriedly trying tomake a bed in the verandah, he said: "No, make it for me in the open courtyard only."

In a weeping mood, she was obliged to obey him. Meanwhile, noticing his pain and intense physical wearinessas well as gradual changes in this condition, Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi called in an Ayurvedic doctorand some important persons of the locality. At that time, the moon rose as if it was sunrise and the clear skybecame flooded with moonlight.

When the Ayurvedic doctor arrived, the uncle enquired "What is your caste?" The answer was 'barber'. Then theuncle said: "Please do not touch me now."

Noticing that there was no effect of the medicine administered by the doctor and finding at the condition of thepatient too was deteriorating, Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi proposed that an allopathic doctor be sent for.When the uncle heard this, he said: "No, I am just about to take my last breath. One day one has to make thefinal exit, so do not send for the doctor." He realized clearly that his end had come. Also, his body was that of abrahmin, and he knew, being a pundit well-versed in the Shastras, that it was against its injunctions to lethimself be touched by a member of a lower caste at the time of death. That is why he had spoken to theAyurvedic doctor in such a way. In those days, everyone seriously obeyed the injunctions of the Shastras withreverence.

Nevertheless, even at that time, the uncle was talking normally with everybody. Later, he said: "My pulse has stopped and it has becomecold up to my navel. My time is now near at hand It was actually seen to be so. Hearing this (that the end was near), an elderly learnedpundit of that locality named Anath Chandra Vidyavinode, who was distantly related to Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya, andwas also a grandfather of Ma by relation, came there, and seeing that the uncle was at his last stage, began rubbing his feet.

The uncle exclaimed: "You are a pandit, a descendant of a high family and also advanced in age, and you are touching my feet!" Whiletalking in this vein, he folded his hands towards all and then raising them upwards, did namaskar (a bow with folded hands). Calling outthe names of fihagavan. various gods and goddesses, Avatars, his ancestors, his Gurudeva, elders, the ancestors of Ma's father, he didpranam to all while keeping his hands folded.

Then uttered:

"Durga, Durga, Shiva-Durga,

Sidhidata Ganesh Ganesh Ganesh,

Shri Guru, Trilochan, Kashi Vihwanath."

And while saying thus and doing pranam, he breathed his last.

This second uncle of Ma, Sharada Charan Vidyasagar was a famous pundit. From the Raja of Tripura, he hadreceived Pundit Vidaya (a presentation in cash and kind to a pundit in his honour when leaving after a visit),Desh-Nimantran-Vidaya (a presentation to one when he is invited from another place) and the like. His hadbeen a family of pundits from generation to generation. It was this maternal uncle who, as we know, used tolook upon Ma as one above the normal. In him, a special fondness and affection for Ma was noticed. During hislast hours he came to Ma, and Ma also, after searching him out, brought him along with Her. He reached hisfinal supreme goal in the presence of Ma.

This incident took place within three or four hours. Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi was on the point ofweeping, but there was no trace of any tear in Ma's eyes. That a sad event had taken place in that house did notfind any expression in Ma's ways and talks. On the day this incident took place and on the following day, somepeople of the locality enquired of Ma the details about the death of the uncle. She narrated it all. Even then nofeeling of sorrow was noticed in Her. Ma saw that many were talking in whispers:

-"�what sort of a girl, as if She has no worldly affection and attachment at all!"

MA'S YOUNGEST MATERNAL UNCLE

BREATHES HIS LAST UTTERING SHIVA-DURGA

Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi had three brothers-the three maternal uncles of Ma. Here is what happened along time back. Among the maternal uncles, the third one who was the youngest, had been unwell for sometime.This family was used to Ayurvedic treatment. The father said to the son: "You are not well, you should takemedicine regularly." Meanwhile, rising early one day, and according to his practice of doing his religious serviceevery morning, he performed the same on that day too. Then, on hearing, again, the advice to take medicine, hetold his father calmly and in a light bhava: "Baba (father), is an illness got rid of only just because one takesmedicine? Can you keep me bound down here?" Within a short while after this, he got up and sat strn and cross-legged on his bed. Everyone was watching that he was sitting quietly. In the meantime, along with his lastbreath, he took the name of Bhagavan, uttered the words

"Shiva-Durga,�"

and that was all. What was to happen, happened.

The eldest and the one next to him - of these two brothers, Ma used to address the younger one as Sona Mama**

and also Chhota Mama**,

**Sona means gold, so Sona Mama, golden uncle, Chhota means youngest.

because he was youngest Ma never saw him. Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi called this Chhota Mama ofMa, Chhota Dada.

The Bada Mama of Ma, it is said could be seen more often in the sitting room.

All of them who visited him, whether distinguished o ordinary people, he received them equally with love.Whatever job lay ahead of them, was done after consultation; there was nothing like division of labour.Whenever there arose the necessity to complete any work, whatever it was, both the uncles of Ma would do itjointly after taking due care. Among all the brothers and sisters, there was only one pattern of talking in thecontext of any work, namely, with due respect towards seniors and with love and affection towards juniors.

Besides, everyone would obey the elders with respect. When a junior was in need of anything, he would seekpermission of the elder before taking any step in that connection. If there arose any problem to be faced, theelder too would help in putting things in order.

Everything did, indeed, take place in an environment of peace all round.

BADA MAMA - LAST BREATH

WHILE SITTING STEADILY IN YOGIC POSE

IN FULL CONSCIOUSNESS

Question: You have told us about the end of your Chhota Mama. Now, Ma, do please tell us also about youreldest uncle.

Ma: About the last breath of the eldest maternal uncle? Well, there was no particular ill health or illness in hiscase. On that day, he felt just a little feverish only. Otherwise, he moved about and had his food in the normalway. Meanwhile, sitting on his bed, he began uttering the names of some of his friends. Also, he told someone togo and call them. When so called, they all came. A pleasant chit-chat continued till a little late in the evening.

Meanwhile, the uncle enquired from everyone: "Have you had your dinner?"

When they replied in the negative, he asked them to go and finish their meal and then come back and see him.In his house, they all had already finished taking their dinner by then. The friends had their dinner andassembled again. The way they used to talk daily, they continued doing like that, gossiping and laughing as well.In the meantime, the uncle enquired: "How far has the night advanced now?"

Calculating on the basis of prahar (a period of about 3 hours), the unit of time of those day, it was about 10 PM.,

and so the uncle said: "Is this the time now ?"

When the friends replied: "Yes, it is almost that", he sat up cross-legged, and placing his thumb tips, each on thespace in the middle of the ring finger of the respective hand, remained silent and still. The last breaths thenstarted and ended.

The father of Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi too was an old man of 70 or 72 years. It is said that in his casetoo, the end came while he was talking, sitting on his asana.

Here, Ma added further: "These incidents about the uncles have been narrated as heard from the mouth of themother of this body." Mokshada Sundari Devi too would sometimes talk about her own house at Sultanpur, inresponse to queries.

The next day after the death of Ma's Chhota Mama, Bholanath's letter arrived intimating that he would reachVidyakut from Ashtagram the following day. Since his marriage, Bholanath had not come to Vidyakut. Due to

pecuniary difficulties, Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya could not invite him.

Bholanath arrived, and Ma's father, who had been away from home for some days, also returned about that time.When he came, Bholanath, Ma and all others went to the house of Ma's uncle at Sultanpur by boat on theoccasion of the shradha ceremony of Ma's second maternal uncle. After the rites were over, they came back toVidyakut.

CHAPTER SIX

The Ways and Methods of the Supreme

in Later Years

(At) Kheora, Vidyakut, Sultanpur

In the Company of Parents and other Companions

KHEORA

-WHERE WE WERE FIRST BLESSED WITH MA AMONG US

Before the fascinated and amazed people of the world, when Ma's manifestation as the Mother of the universetook place with movements in Her Divine harmony, sustaining infinite bhavas and rupa, She allowed Her all-pervading manifestation to be comprehended, whatever little it could be, by numberless hearts at particularplaces. At about the time when this began. Ma once set Her foot at Her maternal uncle's house, in this veryvillage of Sultanpur, and along with it at Kheora and Vidyakut too. Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Mahasaya, ShriyuktaMokshada Sundari Devi, Bholanath, Gurupriya Devi, her father Swami Akhandananda, and also some othersaccompanied Her. To reach houses in those villages from a railway or a steamer station, during rainy season,there was no alternative other than of going by a boat.

In other seasons, conveyances, such as palki (palanquin) and the like were available. Whenever Ma was takenanywhere during rainy season, it was only by boat that they reached the ghat of the house.

At Kheora was Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya's maternal uncle's house-the place where the vigraha formof Ma had appeared first. When the party arrived there, the entire population of that small village was alreadypresent. Besides, it was surprising that from many small neighbouring villages too, the villagers had arrived in-groups by boat for Ma's darshan. There were so many pinnaces and small boats that it seemed as if there was afair of boats too. And, of course, where Ma was, at that place, there was continuous kirtan without break, and avast concourse of people had assembled as though a great festival was on by itself. A poor country, as it was,after collecting whatever the pecuniary condition of the people permitted, they had come with so muchearnestness to offer that to Ma. Some had brouglit the favourite light repast of the villagers-talgola (a thin pastemade from palm fruit juice) and narikelkhora (coconut kernal scrapings) mixed with thickened milk and sugar-while others had come with sweetmeats made out of thickened milk, cast into some shape; sweetmeats fromcoconut kernal scrapings made into balls or cast in various other designs; and coconut kernal finely sliced likecuminseed into different varieties, beautifully cut.

Like these, there were numerous varieties. Then there were fruits from someone's tree and vegetables from agarden of another. Still others came with dheki-sak (a kind of pot-herb), inside stem of a plantain tree, plantainflowers, or even a little milk or butter milk and the like. So many other items and of still more varieties werebrought by them, each according to his capacity.

This fair of this great festival continued for several days. Ma was taken sometime to one house, sometime toanother, and sitting in open fields, various queries were made on spiritual subjects. Again, sitting at night too,there were talks on the Supreme Objective and whatever little receptacle one had, one got it filled there. Ma toopoured Her grace on them, as it were. The places where Ma used to roam about in Her early years, the familiesto whom She had brought joy through Her love and fond liberty, the old men and women among them who werestill alive then, on having Ma amidst them, had talks with Her with tears rolling down, as if without an end.

As for those who had fondled infant Ma,

taking Her in their laps,

an overflow of devotion and reverence from them was, as if, flowing like a stream in those places.

Whoever was present at that time-all of them-experienced the divine glory sustained by bhaan and continuity ofkirtan without break, resounding in that entire atmosphere. Trees, creepers, leaves, a tank nearby all of them, itappeared, were participating in that festival. There had never been anything of that nature before in thesevillages. Someone perhaps even cried aloud with a scream; so many diverse forms were there at that time. Matoo, it was noticed, was in a highly animated bhava, with a sweet pattern of movement and healthy body.

What little Ma took of whatever eatable was offered by any one out of love, was taken with love and joy. Thissort of feeling for Ma, the way they had Ma among them in Her early years and today they had this great Ma -who aroused this exalted emotion in them?

It is known only to Him whose action it was!

When the time of departure of Ma came, all, in a body, flooded with tears, started with Ma for the ghat of theboat. At the time of farewell, when Ma boarded the boat, what a sight it was of sorrow and tears in so manyHindus and Muslim, without exception of any caste or class.

VIDYAKUT, THE PERMANENT ANCESTRAL HOMESTEAD

OF MA'S PATERNAL LINEAGE

Vidyakut bad been the ancestral abode of Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya from generation togeneration. It was a flourishing village, inhabited by many noble families of learning. There were several learnedpundits too at that time; and more than three hundred houses of near relations of Shriyukt Bipin BihariMahasaya. Here too that fair of rejoicing grew till more in intensity. People had come from neighbouringvillages also for Ma's darshan. Ma was taken from house to house, and with what reverence and devotion, bhogand the like were offered to Her.

Educated people of the village and pundits assembled and sitting with Ma, started asking questions on variousspiritual subjects, including the area of non-dualism too. On receiving today from the lips of one, who bad noeducation and whom they had fondled by taking Her in their laps and on their backs during Her temporary visitsto Vidyakut in Her childhood, such simple and comprehensive answers to their abstruse questions on profoundspiritual themes, they were charmed and felt very proud recalling that She was one of their own.

(Moved emotionally), some of them had even tears in their eyes. Kheora is Ma's birthplace, the place of Herchildhood lila and Vidyakut Her father's home. In the latter too, Ma had done lilas in plenty. Having touched thedust of this holy land in this environment, they, who had accompanied Ma, felt themselves blessed.

SULTANPUR �

MA'S MATERNAL UNCLE'S HOME

Now came the turn of Sultanpur. In this very place, there had been the grihastashram of Ramakanta

Bhattacharya. What a phenomenal living form of the aspects of the ideal of a rishi it was that existed one day inthis sacred place! In later years, there had been the advent of Ma, and in this very Ashram were revealed somany heart-gladdening ways of Her childhood lilas. Our Ma, of course, belongs to the line of this family too.This, the great advent, a flashing touch of i[ was granted to the people of this village at this time through HerKheyala. As much of that heart-captivating account as finds expression through this pen of ours, we shall trynarrating that only to close the subject of this chapter.

Revealed as the Mother of the Universe before the world, Ma arrives today at this very village at this very auspicious moment within theview of the villagers. The journey started from the ghat of the boat and ended at that house of Ma's maternal uncle, which had been thescene of so many joy-giving lilas of Ma. None of the uncles of Ma was present there that day in gross form. In this super festival ofrejoicing, how could their absence be made up now. In the pure heart of Ma's youngest maternal uncle, there' were, till his last moment, inillumined wakefulness and in numberless forms, the sacred pictures of affectionate, reverential devotion towards Ma, covering Her child-hood lilas, specially in this very holy Ashram where the parts fill up their respective places, there is the unbroken whole of non-picturepicture.*

*There cannot be any objective picture of the unbroken whole, i.e. no-pictures,but when, again, imagined at the mental level, there is a picture, which is onlya reflection of the mind, i.e., a picture.

Therefore, their participation today is also in their appropriate Svarupa - this is what occurs in our heart.

Respected Nishikanta Smritibhushan Mahasaya was my father. (He used to be addressed by Ma as Thakudbhai -an address of respect to the elder brother). He was the eldest son of Ma's eldest maternal uncle (TIakur Maina),Shriyukt Gurucharan Bhattacharya Mahasaya. Only my father and his younger brother Shriyukt ShashikantaMahasaya with their families were present there. The question arose as to how the wives of respectable familiesof the village and infirm old people could have darshan of Ma. Would it be manageable to take Ma walkingalong the main road of the village? At that time, sometimes, Ma used to be a little in a tender bhava. Therefore,how could She be taken walking over such a long distance. At the sometime, all the people of the village had anintense longing to have Ma's darshan. Besides, this was also the one-pointed desire of my father. His family wasof pundits. And, since Ma had come to this house (he felt that), everyone should be blessed by gaining darshanof Ma.

The Procession �

A Picture of Overflowing Love and Devotion for Ma

As a solution to this problem, a bedstead was decorated and something like a 'throne' made on it. And then aprayer to Ma: "Ma, be gracious enough and take your seat on it".

Though Ma continued raising objections and offering resistance, yet, in the face of ardent solicitation of thevillagers, these objections too had, as if, no place. In response to their appeal, submission and prayer, Ma wasobliged to sit on the 'throne'.

And immediately and enthusiastically, with joy and delight, the villagers placed the bedstead on their shouldersand marched forth with Ma.

Though it was noticed that Ma was in a tender bhava quite often, yet Her movement from place to place continued even in that condition.It could not be said with certainty whether at this time She had Her eyes closed or open.

Then, it would also not occur always in Ma's Kheyala to say clearly even 'yes' or 'no'. Many have witnessed that (in Ma) eating, behaviour,keeping clothes on the body in ()order, etc., were aspects (of life) that were missing in that period-never wee they noticed to be (attendedto) precisely in the normal way. If Ma had Her present bhava at that time, we are not sure whether She could have been made to sit on the'throne' like this. Of course, one cannot say what might have been the bhava of Ma in response to the feeling of the devotees. In Ma, ofcourse, it is noticed that everything is possible. Even so, Ma did get down once, in between, from the bedstead afterwards, and walked too alittle distance for a while. It was, however, a long distance to cover, and on the way, mud and water had accumulated at places due to rain.

A Scene of Desperate Bid for Ma's Darshan:

An Impatiently Eager Concourse in a Mad Rush

There was that small girl, whose figure, a centre of attraction �

restless with laughter and radiant with surging joy-had one day touched the heart while appearing in the sweetform of childhood lila in the view of all. And today, that very one, the Self in the Self with innate beauty washere too, one did not know, in what (a majesty), before the people of this village.

In this form, Ma is in this village, but where have we even the ideas and the language to describe that (which isbefore us). Whom did the villagers see and with what eye, it was, as if, even they were not aware of. Moreover,despite their impatient eagerness, as to how and in what way complete darshan could be had, that too was, asthough, not being achieved. There were countless people on the road, and an incredibly heavy rush. Apart fromthis, some people bad climbed up trees, and others, whoever could, had occupied every little space in any waypossible, so that there was, as if, not the least gap left anywhere. In whichever direction one looked, there was astream of people, every one of whom had his eyes fixed in that one direction only.

Newly married women of respectable families, all in veil, had, as if, lost even their normal way of shyness andwent running along through any opening available as each could manage. Their movement aimed at that singleobject only with all eyes turned in the same direction. It was a big village through which the route of the journey- had been divided into a few sections for spectators, that is, each section earmarked for a particular class ofspectator.

In that way the journey commenced with Ma. Remaining in front, the Kirtan party continued singing together inone melodious tune.

By the mouth, all of you, that sweet Name say;

In the ear they may hear, sing ill such a way.

Go to jiva door to door, give the Name thus away;

Harey Krishna, harey Krishna,

Krishna Krishna harey harey.

(Besides this name) and the like, so many other names too (were sung) with musical composition. In thepresence of Ma, one did not know how the emotional excitement of the villagers and simultaneously themelodious sound of kirtan carried away everyone, whoever was present, in the stream of nectar. The question ofgetting and of not getting whom cannot arise, and after having whom, how there was then, the jhankar(resonance) of billows of bhava in every heart, and how the people of the village got the touch of the Kheyala ofthe kheyal; (He only knows)! *

* When considered from the point of view of the Supreme Reality, there is noquestion of any objective experience. That is why the question of getting and ofnot getting does not arise. But when the figure is looked upon as an object ofSupreme Love, then there is also the having of that object. Kheyala is the onewho has the Kheyala.

What to say only about this village, there was, from far-off places too, a continuous stream of spectators forminga vast concourse. There was no arrangement like that of posts and telegraphs here. How, then, with a lightningspeed, did this news reach remote corners? And who it was that had attracted and brought here children, oldpersons and young men and women, indeed, all, without their knowledge? (It was) that small girl, who had beenin this very village on so many occasions. This is the place of which every particle of dust had become sacredand blessed by the touch of the feet of Ma in the form of a child, where that girl of restless lila had moved aboutfreely, in play everywhere with harmonious participation in a joyful mood. How to be a witness and recipient,even at this time, of that sacred wave of lila in its new form and new rhythm-that is why there was this outburstof emotion! What they got and what they saw-that was, indeed, a matter of their heart and experienced in their

heart only.

Whatever it was, after going round in this way, while moving slowly with Ma, they returned to the house of my father in about four to fivehours. A big crowd had already assembled in the house where a great festival had been on with resounding kirtan, etc., and a fair ofrejoicing well set in. Making this house the centre, the entire village was beside itself with the preparation of a joyous celebration.

Maunds and maunds of rice, pulses, vegetables, spices, etc., had been collected here, one did not know from where and through whoseinspiration, then cooked and followed by distribution of Bhog-prasad, through an excellent orderly arrangement for its acceptance by all ina spirit of fellow-feeling among them.

In the Imagination of Simple Village Folks, Ma as Different Aspects of Divinity.

At another time, on an enquiry from my mother, I came to know that my age, then, was more or less four or fiveyears. Whatever the scene was of Ma's auspicious arrival in this villa, a little flash of that seems to be in meeven now. Among the people belonging to different particular religious sects, there was talk like this (about Ma):

"Rama or Krishna or Mahaprabhu - who is it in this form?"

In another place, those of the Shakti-cult the worshippers of Shakti, talked thus:

"Is She Shiva, Mother Durga or Mother Kali too in human form? If not, who is She?"

Only those who could not understand anything more than this, talked like that.

After all, they were villagers of those days, who knew nothing much about spiritual side. So I had some sort of alittle fear. A pratima (image of a deity) remains stationary in the puja room, but when moving about in a livingform, one knew not what that might be. However, behind this fear, even at that small age, the aspect ofreverence and devotion to Mother Kali and Mother Durga was there through family tradition, as it should be.The form of my great good fortune was, till then, lying in the womb of the future. It was not known to me at thattime. Brahmachari Prabhu Dutt Maharaj once made preparation to hold a religious festival at Allahabad.

In that connection, I came to Ma for the first time.

My age at that time was seven or eight years. I have been an inmate of the Ashram since then. Remaining thusunder the shelter of Ma, I consider myself blessed, successful or what other words are there to express (my goodfortune).

There is that great heredity about which we have heard from Ma's mouth too. Its noble form was so splendid.And I find myself linked with it. I too belong to the family of this lineage. There is that current of blood of theMaharishi, it does flow through my veins too. For the touch of that awakening-.4f it be my destiny to have itone day I beg compassion at the feet of Ma and wait for that great moment (to arrive).

Reverting to the context of Ma's visit here, like an ordinary child, there had been the childhood lila of Ma in themidst of all.

Now, again, in these very three places. She is having Her movement of activity, specially while going roundfrom door to door. Compared to present days, however, Ma was not at all known so much at that time to themasses like this. (Why) is it happening this way in the present situation? Where is the answer to this question,and who, again, would determine it?

When, during Her childhood lila and in Her own bhava, with the expression of great joy, Ma used to roam aboutfrom house to house, door to door, then, at that time, whether an old man, an old woman, a daughter-in-law, adaughter or a child of the same age group, in fact, none at all felt happy if, on seeing Ma, that person where notto call and talk to Her a little.

In this context, why only in every house and at every door, but on every corner of the houses of all. She had Herjurisdiction - an open door and the liberty to play and laugh.

In every family, so many children are there, but surely, none is of this kind.

(In the circumstances), should we not understand that the shoot of the spiritual condition that was planted 'inevery heart through her play, has blossomed out into this form today? Occasionally, some unusual manifestationtoo occurred in Ma in their midst even at that time.

It was a welcome inspiration under which Ma was taken to Her birthplace Kheora and other places at that time.

Had She not been taken thus, then for the old men and women-many of whom had been eye witnesses of Herchildhood lilas and had also narrated so many stories of Her early days when She was a child-could there everhave been such an opportunity again. Ma's stay for a limited time in these three places was, as if, only to grantHer darshan to the fortunate villagers without any distinction of caste and colour. There was never to be thiskind of darshan in this way again in future. So the timely darshan in this manner was a fulfilment of their goodluck. Being Ma-centred and in the context of Her darshan, the common meeting and association of the people ofall these three villages and of other villages t'o was, as if, the last such a get togeiher. Even at that time, theywere living in the homesteads of their forefathers in lineal succession and many of them belonged todistinguished families. Today these are all matters of imagination. After the partition of the country, this regionwas initially in East Pakistan and now it is in Bangladesh.

Kheora, Vidyakut, Sultanpur-these are the three villages where Ma per-formed Her child-lila in diverse patternsbefitting a child. This child form, while receiving the stream of affection and tenderness from the village people,had, in Its own course of movement, in Its innate bhava, perhaps awakened in their hearts a touch of theunknown One. Some flash of Ananda pertaining to an unknown region of no region, had caused a wavyunfoldment by itself in the heart of each one in the presence and company of this child form. As if an embodiedstream of Ananda, flowing with its swell of billows, carried everyone with it and that surging movement of anundulatory stream sustained, with its rise and fall, the mode and tune pertaining to that Ananda in each heart.Hers was a free movement everywhere from door to door in Her own rhythm of giving and taking in the contextof Her own Kriya taking place by itself.

Perhaps the embodied form of fulfilment of all wants, allowing its touch to be conferred in Its own way to thedeserving at the appropriate time, thus assuring that fulfilment unnoticed, and while arousing a want for it in Itspresence, that child form had established Itself in all hearts as their respective objectives.

In this last chapter of this volume that child appears in the form of the Mother of the world. And how that placeof affection and tenderness in the heart of the village people of those three villages got transformed!

And what was the nature of this viewing by them today under this transformation? The touch of that Supreme,which lay latent and hidden in the form of a seed in the context of His child lila, after taking a sprouted formhas today grown up in the form of a tree, well adorned with flower and fruit, resulting in an open Kriya takingplace by itself, for attraction of all hearts aiming at the indication of the Svarupa thus unfolded!

'Where, with the bhava of a common child, Ma had Her child-lila in the midst of them all, now, again, at thesevery three places, moving around there; She had Her course of Kriya in each of heir houses. At that time,however, compared with present day, She was definitely not so well known among the public in this manner. Inthis context, how could there be such a transformation! Where is the solution of this problem, who else is goingto solve it?'

In the first two volumes here, we are getting the solution in the form of an introduction only, In the subsequentvolumes, we shall notice the great mansion of the Supreme Svarupa in the inconceivable, indefinable light ofglory in the course of its own unfoldment. In that mansion, there is place for all individuals - a complete form inthe context of development and unfoldment of each.

He is also,

the only One,

He is all,

He is none at all-giving complete forms of affirmation, negation, again no question too of affirmation, negation.

Beyond the course of mind, where the question of a course and absence of it has no place, what it is and what itis not - there is that Indivisible great Perfection.

In this great mansion,

there are all places,

absence of place.

VOLUME 2

š THE END ›

— Link to Volume 3 –