Mickey if I was like him I’d know all the right words Edward if I was like … him I’d know some real birds Apart from those in my dreams And in magazines Just look at his hair Mickey His hair's dark and wavy Edward It just isn't fair Mickey Mine's the colour of gravy Edward/Mickey Each part of his face Is in just the right place, is He laughing at me Edward At my nose, did he notice Mickey I should wear a brace

Edward That I’ve got halitosis Mickey/Edward When nature picked on me She chose to stick on me Edward Eyes that don't match Mickey I’ve got ears that stand out Edward/Mickey She picked the wrong batch when she handed mine out and then she attacked me with permanent acne Edward I wish I was a bit like wish that I could score a hit like and be just a little bit like That guy That guy Mickey I wish that I could be like like the sort of guy I see, like That guy That guy