between them by d. m. blake

Upload: diedre-m-blake

Post on 04-Apr-2018

213 views

Category:

Documents


0 download

TRANSCRIPT

  • 7/31/2019 Between Them by D. M. Blake

    1/7

    Blake, 1

    Diedr Blake/[email protected]/ CW 356

    Between Them

    The conversation had started long before the so litary lamp-post began to cast the familiar

    amber light, prompting both shadows and people to emerge from darker and less playful places.

    The appeal of tossing the cigarette on the ground had been lost upon arrival at the bus stop,

    which seemed to serve as a prototype for all the other bus stops around the Trastevere Train

    Station. This one, therefore, was exemplary in its collection of high caliber garbage contributed

    by understanding passersby, prolific passengers-in-waiting, and the decorative homeless (who at

    night called its plastic and metal shelter home. ) What then would have been the point of

    adding to the mishmash of half-charred, lipstick-stained, and shoe-trodden cigarettes? No, there

    was no artistry in it, no point-much like the conversation, which Antonio Vitale thought would

    never end.

    The ride from Largo Argentina on the number 8 tram, heading towards Casaletto , had

    involved more than enough conversat ion for him. At that time of day, when everyone was either

    heading home from work or happily preparing to find another Roman adventure, the tram had

    been crammed with people and the resulting steam only increased the odor of the many men

    who, even after a decade into the new millennium, still refused to wear deodorant; a fact of

    which Antonio had sincerely been ashamed. He had thought it lucky to have gotten the two

    single seats facing each other near the rear exit. He had thought it equally lucky that, in the

    general din, their conversation (a mix of beautifully broken Italian and German) could not have

    been eas ily overheard or understood. Antonio had spent the time listening. At least, that is how

    he wanted to appear to her and others. In reality he had occupied his time by staring out the

    window while half-listening to the sound of her voice and nodding at her at the correct intervals

  • 7/31/2019 Between Them by D. M. Blake

    2/7

    Blake, 2

    as well as making the appropriate Mmmhmm sounds he knew she always expected. It was

    just before the tram began crossing the Ponte Garibaldi , spanning the Tiber , that Antonio had

    told her that he needed to watch to see if they had arrived at the Trastevere Train Station stop. It

    was an excuse, which he had understood to be obligatory and she had accepted to be untrue. It

    was their relationship dance, and both knew and anticipated each others steps. H e was simply

    doing as he always did, as was she . She had started talking and so Antonio had had to stop

    fac ing her. Rote steps learned at the start of their re lat ionship.

    Antonio had not wanted to see her eyes, light and sad. It had been her eyes after all that

    had first drawn him in and fixed him in his current place. He had understood that looking at her

    would have only served the purpose of giving her more strength to continue her speech. That

    had been the second thing that had drawn him in: her voice, deep and sophisticated. Throughout

    their relationship he had felt more often than not like a schoolboy when speaking with her,

    especially the given ten-year difference between their ages. It had not helped either that their

    cultural attitudes had been so vastly different. The emotions that he knew how to express

    openly and physically, she had barely tolerated and had constantly reprimanded him for touching

    her with Was machst du da?! Non toccarmi in pubblico ! Each time it had left him feeling

    isolated and insecure, which were the only two feelings he still had had no interest in sharing

    with her. Instead he had grown quieter over time and had pulled away from her, which resulted

    in scheduled discussion times like the conversation today.

    Hai capito, meine Liebe ? The words had snuck up on him much like the significant

    deep right turn of the tram as it entered the Trastevere stop. Ja, sicher, amata mia. She had

    taken his left hand as they had gotten off, and she had pulled him closer to her as they had made

    their way through the crowd of people, who had also disembarked and had been hurriedly

  • 7/31/2019 Between Them by D. M. Blake

    3/7

    Blake, 3

    crossing Viale di Trastevere and heading towards the station. She had always done this.

    Antonio had always smiled her when she did. Today, however, he hadn t smile d or perhaps

    couldn t. Things had become too different between them, cold and isolating. Antonio glanced at

    her, concentrating his gaze briefly on her still moving lips, and wondered if she understood how

    one-sided everything had become between them probably not. She continued to talk even

    while they had been bombarded by the three quite plump, middle-aged, half-naked drunks asking

    for spare change, women who she had always looked at with sympathy but to whom she had

    never given a cent.

    She had paused only momentarily to pay attention to some dark-haired and dark-skinned

    children-this is how she preferred to describe them, feeling it more polite than assuming them to

    be gypsies-who had been drinking from and playing with the old, rusted and grimy- looking

    standing water fountain (as well as the bits of trash collected around it) on the corner by the

    entrance of the Piazza Flavio Biondo . A spray of water had made her smile. Children had

    always made her smile, children and small animals.

    It was a dangerous intersection to cross, going from the numerous tram lines of Viale di

    Trastevere to Via degli Orti di Cesare with its decrepit and curving wall that hid the oncoming

    vehicles from the forever busy Via Portuense, a road leading to the popular local and tourist

    attraction of the Sunday Porta Portese flea market -Everything about this part of Trastevere had

    felt dangerous to her. Katrina Brasch had had more than enough of walking alone in the evening

    and late at night in an effort to see him. Even walking with him this evening hadnt felt

    particularly safe, but that may not have had anything to do with the scenery, she had conceded.

  • 7/31/2019 Between Them by D. M. Blake

    4/7

    Blake, 4

    It wasnt that she couldnt see the old charm of Trasteveres buildings, each having taken

    a dirtier and more worn-out version of a rainbow color. It wasnt that she had not enjoyed

    learning the Roman dialect via conversations in high fidelity being held through the windows by

    neighbors in buildings, each on the other side of the courtyard of the apartment complex. She

    hadnt minded the awkward and leering stares in response to her waist-length light white blonde

    hair, silvery grey eyes, and suntan-resistant pale skin. Simply, it had been that she needed

    cleanliness and order. After all, she was German and believed in, at least, in her life that

    Ordnung mu immer sein. And Katrina had hoped that she could bring some order to his life.

    The bus stops nefarious scent, composed of cooking meat, fresh and stale cigarette

    smoke, old and new alcohol, animal (and potentially human) fecal matter, and undoubtedly urine

    from every possible source, had been a contaminating component of every one of their

    conversations. He had always insisted, however, that they talk while waiting for the bus that

    would take her home even though his apartment was a short walk from the stop. It had been like

    this for some time now. Looking at him, she wondered when he stopped allowing, or perhaps

    was it wanting , her to visit him. She could feel the heaviness of the large black leather

    messenger bag that she always carried, digging into her left shoulder. She needed to go home

    and work. She wanted things to change in the conversation, which had been consistently one-

    sided.

    Katrina had been attracted to the contrast between them: his darkness to her light. It

    was the way he had smiled at her that first day on Via Bocca di Leone , openly and warmly. She

    had felt safe to let down her guard. She had been warned about Italian men by both Italian

    women and non-Italian women. It was the fact that he had never approached her that appealed

    to her, that he had never tried to break her routine as she made her way through the many tourists

  • 7/31/2019 Between Them by D. M. Blake

    5/7

    Blake, 5

    in search of The Spanish Steps, or the fashionistas who had somehow veered off the

    cobblestoned path to the luxury-lined Via dei Condotti . She hated being jostled by the crowds,

    having to clutch her bag too tightly against her body, being pointed at or thinking that it was

    happening, giving directions in broken Italian and English, meeting other Germans, and being a

    part of what seemed to her an insane mass of chaotic energy. It had been her attempt at getting

    away from the crowds that had brought her to that somewhat quieter and narrower street where

    he stood silently and unmoving in the heat of the midday.

    She hadnt been able to explain to her friends and she hadnt brought herself to tell her

    family about their relati onship. After all, what could she say when she didnt understand it

    herself? In response to the relationship, her friends had shared comments and stories about

    Italian men from the South, none of which she cared to hear but had to endure. More horrifying

    had been the discussion on older women and younger men, and how chic they thought she had

    become. She hadnt wanted to think about all of that today. She hadnt wanted to think about

    any of the past things. She had just wanted him to speak with her. Che stai pensando adesso,

    Liebe?

    She watched him as he purposefully flicked the cigarette butt he had been holding

    towards the road as a black BMW with tinted windows drove by. She watched him as he leaned

    against the bus shelter and removed another cigarette from the pack, put to his lips, and lit it.

    She heard him as he replied, Ja. Oggi ho deciso di smettere di fumare. Bist du glcklich

    adesso? She heard the ambulance sirens as it rushed by, the angry drivers yelling because they

    had to stop to make way, the terrified hiss of a cat that was somewhere close to the top of the

    stairway that led from the station, the sizzle of tobacco as it burned with each inhale, and her

    own silence.

  • 7/31/2019 Between Them by D. M. Blake

    6/7

  • 7/31/2019 Between Them by D. M. Blake

    7/7

    Blake, 7

    who was sleeping peacefully in her stroller. She wondered then why she felt something close to

    nothing in response.