baumeister & tice chapter 7 novelty, passion, and intimacy
TRANSCRIPT
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Baumeister & Tice Chapter 7
Novelty, Passion, and Intimacy
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Novelty as Limited Resource
• Novelty associated with excitement, arousal– NEW things/partners interesting, fun– 1sts very exciting, 2nds less exciting, 3rds less…
• Habituation
• Limited number of novel sexual acts– Long-term relationships may lose novelty
• Sexual passion may fade over time• Passion enhanced by new partners (affairs),
behaviors
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Evidence: Sex & Long-Term Relationships
• Negative relationship between years together & sexual f– Blumstein & Schwartz (1983)
• ~50% newlyweds had sex 3/week, ~20% married 10 years had sex that often
– Divorce & remarry -> rise in sexual f• Not just effect of aging
– Similar decline for cohabitating couples
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Evidence
• Pornography (Mann et al., 1974)– No porn 20% had sex, w/ porn 66% had sex– Response decreased each time they
watched• Habituation• Period of avoidance can cause novelty rebound
• So how are novelty & passion connected?
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Passion & Intimacy
• Intimacy - cognitive– Knowledge, favorable attitude, affection
• Passion - emotion & feelings of attraction
• How are they related?– Tend to be +rd in surveys– Passion low in long-term relationships (LTR)
• Intimacy high
– Remarriage increases passion (intimacy low)
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Passion & Intimacy
• Change in intimacy -> change in passion– As I rises P rises
• P = C (dI/dt)– P = passion, I = intimacy, t = time, C
= constant• Implies: As I stabilizes P decreases
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P = C (dI/dt)
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P = C (dI/dt)
• Intimacy is a limited resource in LTR– I can only increase so much– After 20 years you know ALL there is
to know• So P inevitably goes down because I is
stable
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Gender Differences: C
• Males have larger C than females– P = C (dI/dt)– Function (of I-> P) steeper for males
than females• Faster rate of passion rise/unit of
intimacy
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Gender Differences: C
• Males have larger C than females– More rapid passion w/ less intimacy
• Communication problems– Friendliness misunderstood by men as
come on• C (small intimacy input, large passion output)
• Romantic nature of men– Men score higher on self-report– Fall in love & ready for sex faster– Unrequited love (rejected man most common)
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Reaction Paper VII: Novelty in Long Term Relationships• Given the loss of novelty & the maximization
of intimacy in LTR, are we all doomed to experience passionless love in our LTR?
• If so what do you think about this? What other benefits might a LTR accrue for us? Are they worth it or should we have a lifelong string of brief, passion-filled affairs?
– Please turn in at end of class
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Conclusion
• Passion fades as intimacy becomes stable– LTR inevitably show passion deficit
• C is larger for men than women– Men build passion faster w/ less
intimacy
• Relationship implications– Start slow and go far