PTC251, Fall 2013

Relational Aspects Relational Trends

Movement Towards

Movement Away

Movement Against

Conflict Appease ● Unable to say

“No” ● Prone to gossip ● Prone to

bitterness ● Cutoffs

Avoid ● Ignore problems ● Change subject ● May shut down

or attack when cornered

Attack ● Preemptive strikes ● Ad hominem

arguments ● Demonize

motives of others

Communication

● Seeks out communication

● Shares positive feelings/pouts

● Inclined to flattery

● Use humor to diffuse tension or seek attn.

● Does not initiate conversation

● Conceals feelings/shares neg. feelings

● Silence/Flooding ● Sarcasm

● “Agenda” feel to conversation

● Conceals feelings/shares anger

● Boasting/Mockery ●

Time/Intimacy (How does the person prefer to spend time and does it foster intimacy?)

● Flexible ● Desire to be

with others ● Tends towards

self-disclosure

● Relaxation ● Solo pursuits,

hobbies ● Avoids self-

disclosure

● Excitement ● Competitive

pursuits ● Avoids self-

disclosure

PossibleThemes/Idols Desire(s): Fear(s):

Acceptance, Intimacy, Belonging Rejection, Isolation, Shame,

Comfort, Security, Safety, Perfection, Order, Control Hassles, Chaos, Punishment, Being Controlled

Success, Power, Control, Admiration Failure, Humiliation, Being Dominated, Weakness

These should be considered typical associations that can provide a starting point for investigation. Ultimately, any of these behaviors can be mapped onto any of these motives and, obviously numerous motives can be working in coordination or in tension with one another.