attraction s judgments of attraction are ongoing s judgments of attraction may involve: –social...
TRANSCRIPT
ATTRACTION
JUDGMENTS OF ATTRACTION ARE ONGOING
JUDGMENTS OF ATTRACTION MAY INVOLVE:– Social Attraction– Physical Attraction– Task Attraction
PRIMARY BASES OF ATTRACTION
REWARDS PROXIMITY SIMILARITY PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS WANTING WHAT YOU CAN’T HAVE
SIMILARITY & DISSIMILARITY
WHY DO WE SEEK SIMILARITIES?– Suggests a common view of the world– Suggests promising energy investment
WHAT SIMILARITIES DO WE LOOK FOR?– Share understanding/acceptance of norms?– Share aspects of communicative style?– Share personal characteristics?– Share personal preferences?– Share needs?
WHEN DO SIMILARITIES NOT LEAD TO RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT?– Offsetting dissimilarities– Adequate stable of friends– Other is similar on things you’d like to
avoid– Other is disliked by another valued/similar
person– Early similarities superficial; don’t hold up– Specifics of abstract similarities revealed
as dissimilarities
WHEN DO DISSIMILARITIES POSITIVELY AFFECT ATTRACTION?– Put yourself in contrast to others to test self– Time and energy investment is short– Differences don’t challenge most cherished
beliefs– Differences are what you’d like to be like or
need– Offsetting rewards– Dissimilarities minimally effect type of
attraction
HOW ARE SIMILARITIES/DISSIMILARITIES REVEALED?– In changing bits and pieces (not like in
“phantom-other” experiments)– Perhaps not revealed per se (e.g., you perceive
“flexibility” which you then “see” everywhere)– When other behaves out of the ordinary– Dating services; online matchmaking sites
countrysingles.com Match.com (100,000 active members claimed)
ATTRACTIVE PERSONALITY TRAITS (FOR MEN & WOMEN)
HONESTY, COMPETENCE, INTELLIGENCE, ENERGY, ABILITY, WARMTH, CONSIDERATION, UNDERSTANDING, SENSE OF HUMOR, DEPENDABILITY, EMOTIONAL STABILITY
THE DARK SIDE OF ATTRACTION
FATAL ATTRACTION– When the characteristics that attract a
couple to each other create hurt & eventually destroy the relationship
TWO-SIDED ATTRACTION– When the same characteristic that
attracted you to a person becomes a characteristic which you don’t like