Assertiveness Skills (excerpts from presentation 16/7/10)

Steve Baldwin - Trainer

Steve Baldwin - Trainer 2

Objectives

• Consider your rights and the responsibilities associated with them.

• Identify the difference between assertive and aggressive behaviour

• Allow you to refuse requests in a polite but firm manner• Assist you to identify your own characteristics and how

to improve your assertiveness

Steve Baldwin - Trainer 3

Continuous Improvement

• If you continue to do (and behave) as you always have done you will continue to get the same results

• We’re not asking for a new you or a change in personality

• Small steps, recognise benefits, another step• Practice phrases that you do not find easy

Steve Baldwin - Trainer 4

Legal Rights

• You have the right to:

• Vote• Protection from

discrimination• Obtain value for money• Enjoy peace and quiet

Steve Baldwin - Trainer 5

Personal Rights in Assertiveness

You have the right to:

• Have and express different opinions and ideas to other people, and have them respected

• Consider your own needs• Ask others for help or

information

• Refuse• Not understand• Be successful• Make a mistake• Change your mind• Choose not to assert yourself• Be your own self

Steve Baldwin - Trainer 6

Responsibilities

In order to prevent aggressive behaviour, it is essential to balance these rights with the responsibility that goes with them.

There are dual responsibilities in terms of assertiveness:• The respect of the personal rights of others• To assert your rights in a reasonable and responsible manner

Steve Baldwin - Trainer 7

Non-Assertive Behaviour

• Stating your needs and feelings in an apologetic way

• Avoiding stating your needs and feelings

• Giving others rights that you do not take for yourself Yourself

Others

Steve Baldwin - Trainer 8

Aggressive Behaviour

• Ignoring the needs and feelings of others, either by intent or default

• Encouraging others to do as you want through flattery (manipulation)

• Taking rights for yourself that you do not give to others Yourself

Others

Steve Baldwin - Trainer 9

Assertive Behaviour

• Stating your needs and feelings in an honest way

• Being clear and direct in what you are saying

• Standing up for your rights without violating the rights of others

Steve Baldwin - Trainer 10

Face to Face

Body LanguageTone ofVoice

Content

Steve Baldwin - Trainer 11

On the PhoneContent

Tone ofVoice

Steve Baldwin - Trainer 12

Aggressive Behaviour

• Ignoring the needs and feelings of others

• …. Either by intent, or default

• Taking rights for yourself that you do not give to others

Steve Baldwin - Trainer 13

Dealing with AggressionLow Level

• Making Decisions for you

• Nagging

• Stereotyping

• Insinuating

• Describing your actions in emotive terms

“If I were you…”

“Haven’t you finished that report yet?”

“All Care Staff are like that”

“I’m sure you could find the time to do this.”

“That was the most stupid decision you have ever made”

Steve Baldwin - Trainer 14

Refusing Requests Assertively

• One at a time ask the person on your right to do something– Aggressive– Manipulative– Submissive– Assertive

• When asked REFUSE assertively