When Relationships Hurt:Intimate Partner Violence and Safety Planning

Ashley Kussman, LPCProgram Director, Roots to Recovery

A training and consulting subsidiary of

Objectives

To define Intimate Partner Violence

Overview of common patterns underlying the relational dynamics in couples at risk for IPV

Strategies for acute, short-term, and long-term safety planning

Meditation

A Journey Through Fear

Definitions

Intimate partner violence refers to behavior within an intimate relationship that causes physical, sexual or psychological harm, including acts of physical aggression, sexual coercion, psychological abuse and controlling behaviors. This definition covers violence by both current and former spouses and partners.

World Health Organization

Physical Harm: When a person hurts or tries to hurt a partner by hittingkicking, or using another type of physical force.

30% of individuals report experiencing IPV in their lifetime

Sexual Harm: Forcing or attempting to force a partner to take part in asex act, sexual touching, or a non-physical sexual event(e.g., sexting) when the partner does not or cannot consent.

13% of individuals report experiencing sexual harm

Psychological: The use of verbal and non-verbal communication with theintent to harm another person mentally or emotionally and/or to exert control over another person (including stalking, financial abuse, etc.).

34% of individuals report experiencing psychological harm

• 20 people experience IPV every minute. (10 million abuse victims annually) • 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe physical violence, contact

sexual violence, and/or stalking with impacts such as injury, fearfulness, posttraumatic stress disorder, use of victim services, contraction of sexually transmitted diseases, etc..

• 1 in 7 women and 1 in 25 men have been injured by an intimate partner.• 1 in 10 women have been raped by an intimate partner (data is unavailable on

male victims).• 1 in 7 women and 1 in 18 men have been stalked.

• Domestic violence hotlines nationwide receive over 20,000 calls/day.

• An abuser’s access to a firearm increases the risk of IPV femicide by 400%.

• IPV accounts for 15% of all violent crime.

• IPV is most common against women between the ages of 18-24.

• 19% of IPV involves a weapon.

Statistics

Power & Control Wheel

• Intimidation

• Emotional Abuse

• Isolation

• Minimizing/Blaming

• Using Children

• Dominance

• Economic Abuse

• Coercion/Threats

Relational Dynamics Used for Control

LOVE CONTROL• Compassion for a partner’s pain

• Empathy for a partner’s past trauma(s)

• The positive aspects of the relationship will overcome the harmful moments

• One partner’s stress and anger is not the other partner’s responsibility

• Every person has a right to independence and autonomy in a relationship

Risk Factors During COVID19

• Reducing or eliminating access to support networks otherwise available

• Forcing socialization with unsafe people in close quarters

• Restricting access to accurate medical information, medical/insurance cards, medical care

• Reducing or eliminating access to sanitizer, soap, or other self-care necessities

• Use scare tactics to isolate, including withholding information about COVID-19 and ways to stay safe

• Looking for more opportunities for exerting control specific to COVID-19

thehotline.org

1-800-799-7233

TTY:1-800-799-3224

If you or someone you know is at risk for harm

• Assess the risk of danger before it occurs

• Try to have a phone on you at all times with thenumber for nearest shelter (Call 911 for immediate danger)

• Identify SAFE areas of home•Access to escape•Free of weapons

• Do NOT run to where children are

• If violence is unavoidable• Find a corner• Curl into a ball with face covered• Place arms around your head w/ fingers intertwined

SAFETY PLANNING: ACUTE

• Let trusted friends and neighbors know.• Establish Visual Signal• Establish Code Word via Text/Phone

• Give your children the code word so they know to leave the house and seek safety. Tell them not to get involved.

• Practice how to get out safely.

• Keep car fueled at all times.

• Create plausible reasons to leave the house at different times of day and night.

• Plan for what to do if your partner finds out about your plan.

thehotline.org

1-800-799-SAFE

TTY:1-800-799-3224

SAFETY PLANNING: ACUTE, Cont’d.

Safety Planning: Preparing to Leave

• Document all incidents and take photos

• Tell someone about your plan

• Identify where you can go for help (shelter, neighbor, friend)

• Set money aside, ask a trusted friend or family member to keep it for you

Gather Documents or Copies

• Identification Documents

• Birth Certificates• Social Security Cards• Passports/Immigration Papers

• Medical Insurance Cards/Records• Benefits Cards• Car Title/Insurance• Financial Documents

• Checking and Savings• Credit Cards in your name• W-2s, Pay Stubs

• Account Numbers/Passwords

Safety Planning: Preparing to Leave

• Change of Clothes • Medications• Cash/Cards/Gift Cards• Documents• Extra house and car keys• Emergency Contact Information• Snacks/Water• A pay-as-you-go cell phone with shelter,

local police station, doctor, friends/family, etc. preloaded into it

• Jewelry to sell if needed • Sentimental items

Safety Planning: Grab ‘n’ Go Bag

• Change your locks, your number, your routes, and your schedule

• Tell Important Others: (If you have a restraining order, providea copy of it along with a photo as well)

•School•Friends•Neighbors•Family•Employer•Local Police

• Get inside and outside security system

• Screen all calls

• Get a PO Box where mail can be delivered

• Be mindful of whom has your address and phone number

Safety After Leaving

Affirmations

RESOURCESNational Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233 or 800-799-SAFE

TTY: 800-787-3224 www.thehotline org

National Dating Abuse Helpline: 866-331-9474 or text “loveis” to 22522 www.loveisrespect.org

Smartphone app/site for safety decision support: www.myplanapp.org

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-4673 or 800-656-HOPE https://rainn.org

The Northwest Network (LGBTQ): 206-568-7777 www.nwnetwork.org

National Child Abuse Hotline: 800-422-4453 or 800-4-A-CHILDwww.childhelp.org

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255 https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Global Statistics from WHO:https://apps.who.int/violence-info/intimate-partner-violence/

U.S. Statistics from National Coalition Against Domestic Violence Fact Sheethttps://assets.speakcdn.com/assets/2497/domestic_violence2.pdf

Email Hotline for answers to legal questions: https://www.womenslaw.org/

Online Safety Plan:https://www.loveisrespect.org/for-yourself/safety-planning/interactive-safety-plan/

RESOURCES

If you are interested in more information about our trainings & professional development offerings or have any

additional questions please contact:

Inya Chehadé at The CTARI Institute™ at ichehade@cge-nj.org

or visit www.ctari-institute.org