Argument EssayExistence as Freedom?

1. In the speech, “The Gettysburg Address,” by Abraham Lincoln, the problem presented is that the union of the United States is no longer a united nation and is now in a great civil war in which many people have lost their lives. The solution is to not let the dead have died in vain and to come together to give people a free nation in which the government is “of the people, by the people, for the people.”

2. In the speech “The Gettysburg Address,” by Abraham Lincoln, the problem presented is that there were are slowly starting to break as a nation and hundreds of men are dying because of it. The solution is to stop the fighting and come together as one to start anew.

3. In the speech, “The Gettysburg Address” by Lincoln, the problem presented is to see how many soldiers have fallen during the civil war and are fighting. The solution is to push the people to not to worry and to stand for the country.

Which position allows for a more meaningful life, awareness of one’s self in relation to others or an awareness of one’s self, independent of others?

1.Talk with a partner. 2.Tell me your answer. 3.Back up your answer with evidence.

• What are your first steps in starting an essay?

Thesis

• Hamburger-Hamburger a piece of paper.• Write your thesis in the middle diamond.

Write this on your “Thesis” paper.

Driving Question for Thesis: Which position allows for a more meaningful life, awareness of one’s self in relation to others or an awareness of one’s self, independent of others? Answer with FATT.Although there is some value in being/not being mindful of others, as shown in Author’s speech/essay “Title,” ultimately, as shown in Author’s speech/essay, “Title,” it is the awareness of one’s self, independent/dependent of others, that allows for a more meaningful life.

Oskar Schindler saved 1,200 lives. Had he followed the ideology of his government and the populous, those 1,200 souls would be incinerated and floated away as ash, burned and made a part of the earth too soon. At crucial moments in our lives, we have to rely on ourselves, ignoring the temptation of safety by thinking like others.

Although there is some value in being mindful of others, as shown in David Foster Wallace’s “Speech at Kenyon College,” ultimately, as shown in Henry David Thoreau’s essay, “Economy,” it is the awareness of one’s self, independent of others, that allows for a more meaningful life.

Write this on your “Thesis” paper.

1. Driving Question for Thesis: Which position allows for a more meaningful life, awareness of one’s self in relation to others or an awareness of one’s self, independent of others?

2. Answer with FATT.Although there is some value in being mindful of

others, as shown in David Foster Wallace’s “Speech at Kenyon College,” ultimately, as shown in Henry David Thoreau’s essay, “Economy,” it is the awareness of one’s self, independent of others, that allows for a more meaningful life.

Write this on your “Thesis” paper.Example: As shown in Henry David Thoreau’s essay, “Economy,” it is more meaningful to live with the awareness of one’s self, independent of others.

1.Underline the three most important words in your thesis.2.Find and write down a synonym for each of the most important words. Examples below:

1. Meaning: authenticity2. Awareness: Mindfulness3. Independent: Freedom

3.These three words (or synonyms) will be used in all of your “matters.” This ensures your matter does not stray from thesis. It keeps you focused!

Finding Quotes to support your thesis

• Hamburger-Hotdog a piece of paper.• Write your thesis in the middle diamond.• Choose two quotes to support your thesis

on the two halves. • Choose a “counterargument” quote in the

bottom left quadrant.• Take out your “Say-mean-matter” power

verbs and phrases

Hamburger Hotdog Paper

Writer’s Name: Tommy KimQuote #1

Say: Mean: Matter:

Quote #2

Say: Mean: Matter:.  

Quote #3 (Counterargument)Say: Mean: Matter:

THESIS

Checklist:1.Did you mention the key words from your thesis in your “Matter?”

2.Did you mention a key word from your “mean” in your matter?

3.Did you use a metaphor (not necessary in every “matter”)

4.Did you use the words, “thing, anything, nothing, everywhere, everyone, something?”

Thesis: Gatsby is admirable.

Quote #1Say: “But with every word she was drawing further and further into herself, so he gave that up and only the dead dream fought on as the afternoon slipped away, trying to touch what was no longer tangible, struggling unhappily, undespairingly, toward that lost voice across the room (Fitzgerald 142).”

Mean (What does the quote “mean”? Summarize): This passage explains how Gatsby reaches for the unattainable, knowing he can’t convince Daisy to leave Tom.

MATTER (How does this matter to the thesis?): In this case, even though Gatsby knows Daisy will not be with him, the dream continues, nourishing a vitality in Gatsby’s imagination, which is essential to his ability to see more than failure or fear. He suffers for this vision, but it is through struggle that we transform not only ourselves, but those around us, as Nick was transformed by Gatsby’s pain.

Thesis: Gatsby is admirable.

Quote #2Say: “’Jimmy was bound to get ahead. He always had resolves like this or something’ (Gatsby 182). ”

Mean (What does the quote “mean”? Summarize): Mr. Gatz proclaims that his son, ever since he was a boy, had the habits of achievement, a type of resolve that craves the impossible.

MATTER (How does this matter to the thesis?): Ultimately it is this dynamic, between possibility and impossibility, between the practical and impractical, that provides the tension to step foot into the wild world to seek and achieve, sometimes the impossible.

The Counterargument

“I know you are, but what am I?”

Evidence: The Counterargument What do you know about a “counterargument?”

Contradicts your argument/thesisReveals other side

Leaves room for debateTransition words (antithetical corollary)

But, however, although,

Evidence: The Counterargument Your parents tell you, “your curfew is set for 10pm. The Van Nuys police website shows that crime is mostly committed between the times of 10pm-2am.”

Talk to a partner and explain how you can give a counterargument.

1 minute.

Evidence: The Counterargument Your parents tell you, “you cannot go to Alejandro’s party. He was arrested in middle school for bringing matches and dirty underwear to school.”

Talk to a partner and explain how you can give a counterargument.

1 Minute

Evidence: The Counterargument Your parents tell you, “downtown Los Angeles is too far. You can’t go there without an adult.”

Talk to a partner and explain how you can give a counterargument.

1 Minute

Evidence: The Counterargument Thesis

Contradicting Evidence

Counter-argument on how evidence Is NOT valid.

Evidence: The Counterargument Thesis

Contradicting Evidence

Use an UNMENTIONED VARIABLE to show how contradicting evidence still proves thesis.

Evidence: The Counterargument Thesis: Pitbulls are one of the friendliest breeds and the ban in Denver should be overturned.

Contradicting Evidence: Pitbulls have the highest rate of attacks on humans.

•Unmentioned variable: THE OWNERS!

Evidence: The Counterargument Thesis: Pitbulls are one of the friendliest breeds and the ban in Denver should be overturned.

Contradicting Evidence: Pitbulls have the highest rate of attacks on humans.

Counter-argument on how evidence is NOT valid: This breed of dog attracts owners who are criminals who raise the dogs to fight, training them to have violent tendencies. Like children, mean and violent owners will translate to mean and violent dogs, and most other breeds have owners who want to raise their dogs properly. It’s not the dog breed that is violent but the type of owner who raise them.

Evidence: The Counterargument Thesis: All types of guns should be legal.

Contradicting Evidence: The Sandy Hook shootings left dozens of children dead.

Counter-argument on how evidence is NOT valid:Work with a partner and come up with why this contradicting evidence can be WRONG. I will give you 3 minutes.

Evidence: The Counterargument Thesis: All types of guns should be legal.

Contradicting Evidence: The Sandy Hook shootings left dozens of children dead.

Counter-argument on how evidence is NOT valid:Unmentioned VARIABLE: Mental Illness!

Evidence: The Counterargument Thesis: We should encourage the use of capital punishment in all states.

Contradicting Evidence: Texas has the most executions out of all states, but the murder rate is also the highest.

Counter-argument on how evidence is NOT valid:Work with a partner and come up with why this contradicting evidence can be WRONG (hint, use 3rd variable, low income, low graduation rates, etc. of TX). I will give you 3 minutes.

Evidence: The Counterargument Thesis: We should encourage the use of capital punishment in all states.

Contradicting Evidence: Texas has the most executions out of all states, but the murder rate is also the highest.

•Unmentioned variable: Income (low)

Evidence: The Counterargument Thesis: College athletes should get paid for playing.

Contradicting Evidence: In Slovania, where college players get paid, they have the highest dropout rate in the world.

Counter-argument on how evidence is NOT valid:Unmentioned variable: Slovania’s average income is lowest in the European Union.

Evidence: The Counterargument Thesis: We should encourage the use of capital punishment in all states.

Contradicting Evidence: Texas has the most executions out of all states, but the murder rate is also the highest.

Counter-argument on how evidence is NOT valid:Work with a partner and come up with why this contradicting evidence can be WRONG (hint, use low income, low graduation rates, etc. of TX). I will give you 3 minutes.

Evidence: The Counterargument Thesis: The Lakers are the best team in basketball this season.

Contradicting Evidence: The Lakers have the worst record in the league.

Counter-argument using UNMENTIONED VARIABLE on how evidence is NOT valid:Work with a partner and come up with why this contradicting evidence can be WRONG. I will give you 3 minutes.

Evidence: The Counterargument Thesis: Birmingham Students are the most kind students in all of the valley.

Contradicting Evidence: Birmingham has the highest rate of fights.

Counter-argument on how evidence is NOT valid:Work with a partner and come up with why this contradicting evidence can be WRONG. I will give you 3 minutes.

Thesis: Gatsby is admirable.

Quote #3 – COUNTERARGUMENT: Find a quote that CONTRADICTS your thesis.Say: “He and this Wolfshiem bought up a lot of side-street drug stores here and in Chicago and sold grain alcohol over the counter. That’s one of his little stunts. I picked him for a bootlegger the first time I saw him and I wasn’t far wrong (Fitzgerald 141).

Mean (What does the quote “mean”? Summarize): Tom argues that Gatsby is of inferior moral quality because he breaks the law. MATTER (How does this matter to the thesis?): Although some laws make sense in their time, other laws are unreasonable, playing out the collective paranoia that keep citizens tyrannized. Slavery, segregation, women’s suffrage (Unmentioned variable) were all legal embodiments of a vicious tyranny against those who are deprived of political and social power. Laws can be wrong. Alcohol is now legal, and if any political figure would try to abolish alcohol today, they would be ensuring their downfall in the next election. Gatsby’s cause for the impossible transcended a misguided law, and he was a hero for seeing beyond it.

Underline and number each move:1. Thesis2. Introduction to quote3. Say #14. Mean#15. Matter#16. Transition from matter #1 to next paragraph7. Introduction to quote (Moves 7 & 8 could be the same sentence)8. Say #29. Mean#210.Matter#211.Transition from matter #2 to next paragraph12.Introduce counterargument quote13.Say #3 (Counterargument)14.Mean#315.Matter#316.Transition into last paragraph17.Restatement of thesis18.Connect thesis to the rest of the world

Move #1• Write your thesis after your transition into your

thesis.• Example:The people worth admiring are the people who don’t know how to be

contained. An artist’s soul is capacious, able to take in the entire world and place it on a plate, or a blueprint, or a classroom. A visionary requires limitless thinking and dreaming, a way of being that cannot be bound by sensibility and conventions. Christopher Columbus saw a world that in fact never ended, a circumference that could run forever with enough wind and will. Those who are tyrannized by fear and limited vision seem always bound by height, weight, or aptitude, reasons for staying cornered by fear and cynicism, a combination that always underlies sadness for what is already determined in their minds. It is our reaching and straining beyond limitations that make us admirable, that make life boundless and soaring with the very stars we can’t reach. (Move #1) In the novel The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald, Jay Gatsby is one such hero, an admirable character whose reaching for what is believed by others to be unattainable is heroic.

MOVE #2, PARAGRAPH #2!• Introduce quote “move. Summarize what is happening

around the quote. Assume the reader hasn’t read the book.)

• Use the following template:

(Author’s name) first exemplifies how the self, in relation with/without others relates to our lives when (context of passage), “Quote” (Thoreau/Wallace page #)

– Example: Thoreau first exemplifies how the self, in relation without others relates to our lives when he explores the conflicts of expectations.

Move #3 - 5 (Move # 3) “But with every word she was drawing

further and further into herself, so he gave that up and only the dead dream fought on as the afternoon slipped away, trying to touch what was no longer tangible, struggling unhappily, undespairingly, toward that lost voice across the room (Fitzgerald 142).” (Move # 4) This passage explains how Gatsby reaches for the unattainable, knowing he can’t convince Daisy to leave Tom. (Move # 5) In this case, even though Gatsby knows Daisy will not be with him, the dream continues, nourishing a vitality in Gatsby’s imagination, which is essential to his ability to see more than failure or fear. He suffers for this vision, but it is through struggle that we transform not only ourselves, but those around us, as Nick was transformed by Gatsby’s pain.

Move #6 & 7• Transition “move” into paragraph #3• Use the following template:

(Move #6) Not only does Fitzgerald highlight_____________ about this character, he also emphasizes how___________. (Move #7) (Summarize what is happening around quote.)

Another example of (Character’s name) being admirable takes place when (_who-what-when),

Paragraph #3: Moves 8-10Move 8 (Say): “’Jimmy was bound to get ahead. He always had

resolves like this or something’ (Gatsby 182).

Move 9 (Mean) Mr. Gatz proclaims that his son, ever since he was a boy, had the habits of achievement, a type of resolve that craves the impossible.

Move 10 (Matter) Ultimately it is this dynamic, between possibility and impossibility, between the practical and impractical, that provides the tension to step foot into the wild world to seek and achieve, sometimes the impossible.

Paragraph #4: Moves 11-15Move 11 (Contrast Transition): Although this character’s traits are overall

admirable, there are some traits that some might find unappealing. Move 12 (Introduce quote): Summarize what is happening around quote.

Move 13 (Say: a quote that CONTRADICTS your thesis)“He and this Wolfshiem bought up a lot of side-street drug stores here and in Chicago and sold grain alcohol over the counter. That’s one of his little stunts. I picked him for a bootlegger the first time I saw him and I wasn’t far wrong (Fitzgerald 141).

Move 14 (Mean): Tom argues that Gatsby is of inferior moral quality because he breaks the law. Move 15 (Matter): Although some laws make sense in their time, other laws are unreasonable, playing out the collective paranoia that keep citizens tyrannized. (Unmentioned Variable)Slavery, segregation, women’s suffrage were all legal embodiments of a vicious tyranny against those who are deprived of political and social power. Laws can be wrong. Alcohol is now legal, and if any political figure would try to abolish alcohol today, they would be ensuring their downfall in the next election. Gatsby’s cause for the impossible transcended a misguided law, and he was a hero for seeing beyond it.

Paragraph #5: Moves 16-1816. Transition into last paragraph17. Restatement of thesis18 Connect thesis to the rest of the world

(Move 16: Transition) Laws that are morally detestable require courage and vision to break. These traits also fuel the hearts and minds who chase after stars, empowering the great contributors of our society. (Move 17: Connect thesis to rest of the world)Thomas Edison, Neal Armstrong, Rosa Parks all stood tall against the impossible, and with courage and vision they defined a quintessential American ideal. (Move 18: Restatement of thesis) Like Gatsby, we are at our best when we are struggling, fighting for a vision that seems impossible. Dreams are no longer real when we achieve them. In order for us to live authentically, we continually need to place the impossible in front of us.

Essay Rubric• Attach the following:

– Rough draft of essay (printed)– Three introductions– Two peer edits of introductions– Say-mean-matter: Hamburger/Hamburger outline

• Typed draft is due Friday: 11/14.

Essay Rubric• If you are finished, turn in the following,

stapled:

1. Your Essay2. The rubric, graded by your partner (attach the

paper your partner WROTE on)

Finish!

1. Turn in your rough draft in the back tray.2. If you are not done, finish the essay this weekend or come into

tutoring during lunch. Or schedule a time to meet. DEMAND a time to meet. Own your life.