Anger ManagementAnger Management

Anger in relation to the Anger in relation to the Qura’n & Bible Qura’n & Bible

• ( Those ) who restrain Anger and Pardon (all)( Those ) who restrain Anger and Pardon (all)

men -- for Allah loves those who do good.men -- for Allah loves those who do good.

( Qyr’an 3:134 ) .( Qyr’an 3:134 ) .

The Prophet ( SAW ) said : Do not think little ofThe Prophet ( SAW ) said : Do not think little of

Any good deed even if it is just greeting your brother Any good deed even if it is just greeting your brother with a cheerful countenance .with a cheerful countenance .

According to Bible that thou shall not kill but in a quote According to Bible that thou shall not kill but in a quote in the bible it says “ I'm telling you that anyone who is in the bible it says “ I'm telling you that anyone who is so much as angry with a brother or sister is guilty of so much as angry with a brother or sister is guilty of murder“ . (Matthew 5:22).murder“ . (Matthew 5:22).

• So God is saying taking anger out on some is just as So God is saying taking anger out on some is just as sinful as a murder sinful as a murder

Anger Value Anger Value • Anger is a valuable signal, because it lets Anger is a valuable signal, because it lets

us know when something is wrong or a us know when something is wrong or a when there is a problem, It does not when there is a problem, It does not solve the problem. Things that happen : -solve the problem. Things that happen : -

• We want something and are not getting itWe want something and are not getting it• From past experience, From past experience, • we expect troublewe expect trouble• We have feelings of powerlessnessWe have feelings of powerlessness• Sad Feelings . Etc. Sad Feelings . Etc.

Options confronting Options confronting Anger Anger

• You can choose to react angrily or You can choose to react angrily or not .not .

• You can become aware of what you You can become aware of what you are feeling.are feeling.

• You can be aware of the intensity of You can be aware of the intensity of your anger, if you are in control of your anger, if you are in control of your anger, it controls you. your anger, it controls you.

Causes Of AngerCauses Of Anger

• Anger is caused by external events Anger is caused by external events called provocations, which create called provocations, which create angry thoughts, angers arousal, and angry thoughts, angers arousal, and angry actions.angry actions.

• 6 Major Causes6 Major Causes• Dependency Dependency

Relationships ,ResentmentRelationships ,Resentment• Grief, Victim MentalityGrief, Victim Mentality• Abusive Relationship, Low Self-Esteem Abusive Relationship, Low Self-Esteem

Ten steps to Control Ten steps to Control AngerAnger

1.Make a list of things that make you mad, and 1.Make a list of things that make you mad, and memorize it.memorize it.

2.Talk about your feelings, let people know 2.Talk about your feelings, let people know when something is bothering you.when something is bothering you.

3.When you feel angry, do something with the 3.When you feel angry, do something with the energy. Slowly breathe in and out ten times. energy. Slowly breathe in and out ten times. On the exhale, spread your fingers.On the exhale, spread your fingers.

4.When you feel the urge to strike out at at 4.When you feel the urge to strike out at at someone, raise your shoulders, as you someone, raise your shoulders, as you breathe in deeply; rapidly lower your breathe in deeply; rapidly lower your shoulders as you exhale. Notice your jaw shoulders as you exhale. Notice your jaw muscles, shoulders, chest, and torso muscles.muscles, shoulders, chest, and torso muscles.

Ten steps to Control Ten steps to Control AngerAnger

5. Make peace with yourself and the person who is the object of your anger. Forgive yourself first. Than apologize to the other person for the lack of control

6. Mentally visualize two paths. Have one of these paths be positive, pleasant, and full of light. Have the other path be dark, gloomy, and depressive. Then send your angry feeling down the dark path and over the cliff

Ten steps to Control Ten steps to Control AngerAnger

7.Notice if you feel like yelling, screaming, or 7.Notice if you feel like yelling, screaming, or hitting. Before you act on your anger, think of hitting. Before you act on your anger, think of why you are angry. Is your angry feelings why you are angry. Is your angry feelings legitimate, or did you create a situation to legitimate, or did you create a situation to justify your need to be angry.justify your need to be angry.

8.Talk your way through your anger. Tell yourself 8.Talk your way through your anger. Tell yourself you can change from being a reactor of your you can change from being a reactor of your emotions to being a processor. Notice your emotions to being a processor. Notice your thoughts, change negative thoughts to positive.thoughts, change negative thoughts to positive.

9.Change the image you have of yourself from 9.Change the image you have of yourself from “blowing your stack; to being a cool headed “blowing your stack; to being a cool headed person”. Whenever you are able to control your person”. Whenever you are able to control your anger, reinforce it by saying something kind to anger, reinforce it by saying something kind to yourself10.Daily seek ways to change your yourself10.Daily seek ways to change your image, inner thoughts, and outer behavior, so image, inner thoughts, and outer behavior, so the two match.the two match.

Myths Myths

• That all anger is unhealthy or That all anger is unhealthy or destructivedestructive

• That anger is an all-or-nothing That anger is an all-or-nothing phenomenonphenomenon

• If you don’t let your anger out, it builds If you don’t let your anger out, it builds and explodes outand explodes out

• That angry people yell and scream a lotThat angry people yell and scream a lot• That anger management means keeping That anger management means keeping

your mouth shut.your mouth shut.

Facts Facts

• Not all anger is unhealthy or Destructive .Not all anger is unhealthy or Destructive .• Sometimes Anger is Justified . Sometimes Anger is Justified . • Anger is not an All-or-Nothing Phenomenon . Anger is not an All-or-Nothing Phenomenon . • Anger typically occurs in degrees, ranging Anger typically occurs in degrees, ranging

from mild annoyance to rage . from mild annoyance to rage . • It is not always necessary to let your anger It is not always necessary to let your anger

out .out .• Anger does not work like steam in a kettle. It Anger does not work like steam in a kettle. It

is not necessary to release it in order to is not necessary to release it in order to avoid explosionavoid explosion

Facts Facts

• Not all angry people yell or scream.Not all angry people yell or scream.• Many people keep their anger to Many people keep their anger to

themselves or show in their themselves or show in their behaviour.behaviour.

Anger and its effects on Anger and its effects on the body the body

• It can speed up the heart rate It can speed up the heart rate • Blood pressure rises as blood vessels Blood pressure rises as blood vessels

constrictconstrict• Frequent anger may speed up the Frequent anger may speed up the

process of atherosclerosisprocess of atherosclerosis• Doctors now consider a hear disease Doctors now consider a hear disease

risk risk

Definition of AngerDefinition of Anger

• Anger – Noun A strong feeling of Anger – Noun A strong feeling of

displeasure and belligerence displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath; ire.aroused by a wrong; wrath; ire.

Verb- To arouse anger or wrath in Verb- To arouse anger or wrath in

Personal Relations Personal Relations

• I think Anger Management has helped I think Anger Management has helped me since 6th grade where I was mostly me since 6th grade where I was mostly angry and a lot of people perceived as an angry and a lot of people perceived as an angry kidangry kid

• I think the main reason I was angry I think the main reason I was angry because I felt lonely and even though I I because I felt lonely and even though I I had a lot of friends I was still lonely so had a lot of friends I was still lonely so that brought my anger and sometimes I that brought my anger and sometimes I would do something that would damage would do something that would damage me me

5 - Good Ways of Anger 5 - Good Ways of Anger

• Anger ProtectsAnger Protects• Anger Signals-Anger Signals-• Anger rulesAnger rules• Anger TalksAnger Talks• Anger TeachesAnger Teaches

Brain and Anger Brain and Anger

• A group of brain structure controls A group of brain structure controls and our anger such as the limbic and our anger such as the limbic system.system.

• The frontal lobe of the brain are The frontal lobe of the brain are what people use to control heir what people use to control heir angeranger

How Anger Shows up in How Anger Shows up in Families Families

• Criticize you about your grades.Criticize you about your grades.• Hound you about getting work or chores Hound you about getting work or chores

done.done.• Question you about things in your life Question you about things in your life

you prefer to keep private.you prefer to keep private.• Refuse to allow you to go places or see Refuse to allow you to go places or see

friends.friends.• Limit your use of computers, video Limit your use of computers, video

games, cell phones, TV, or other things .games, cell phones, TV, or other things .

Passive Aggressive AngerPassive Aggressive Anger

Meaning : Meaning :

People showing their anger People showing their anger indirectly so they don’t have to indirectly so they don’t have to admit their mad. admit their mad.

Displaced AngerDisplaced Anger

• Meanings :Meanings :• People often doing things People often doing things

unconsciously unconsciously

Anger in relationships/ Anger in relationships/ Triggers Triggers

• Your partner doesn’t call when he Your partner doesn’t call when he says he will.says he will.

• Your partner ignore your phone calls Your partner ignore your phone calls or text messages.or text messages.

• You see your partner talking to You see your partner talking to another girl or boy.another girl or boy.

• You catch your partner in about You catch your partner in about where they have been .where they have been .

Anger in relationships/ Anger in relationships/ TriggersTriggers

• Your partner dumps you and doesn’t Your partner dumps you and doesn’t have the guts to tell you face to face, have the guts to tell you face to face, but breaks up with you by email or but breaks up with you by email or through someone else .through someone else .

• You feel you partner is spending too You feel you partner is spending too much time with he friends .much time with he friends .

Jealousy Jealousy

• The biggest source of anger in The biggest source of anger in relationships .relationships .

• It’s a mixture of insecurity, fear, and It’s a mixture of insecurity, fear, and anger.anger.

HATE HATE

• Is the feeling of extreme dislike and Is the feeling of extreme dislike and anger toward someone.anger toward someone.

• Hate is the angriest thing you can say Hate is the angriest thing you can say to someone .to someone .

• HATE is when you are unwilling to let HATE is when you are unwilling to let go of that anger.go of that anger.

• That built up hate and anger can That built up hate and anger can cause you to stress and and physically cause you to stress and and physically harm yourself .harm yourself .

Signs of anger turning Signs of anger turning into Hate into Hate

• You often think about the person you’re You often think about the person you’re angry at.angry at.

• You burn inside when someone even You burn inside when someone even mentions the persons name .mentions the persons name .

• You feel a need to tell other how you You feel a need to tell other how you were hiurt, wanting them to feel your were hiurt, wanting them to feel your anger too.anger too.

• You start seeing yourself as completely You start seeing yourself as completely innocent and the other person as totally innocent and the other person as totally at fault, instead of admitting your role in at fault, instead of admitting your role in the problem .the problem .

Signs of anger turning Signs of anger turning into Hateinto Hate

o You often think of ways to get You often think of ways to get revenge .revenge .

o You feel intense anger weeks and You feel intense anger weeks and even months later.even months later.

What leads to anger in What leads to anger in friendships friendships

• Gossip.Gossip.• Keeping secrets .Keeping secrets .• Competitiveness .Competitiveness .• Teasing and name calling .Teasing and name calling .• Balancing Time between Friends .Balancing Time between Friends .

Being Able to handle anger Being Able to handle anger in friendsin friends

• Be clear on what you expect from Be clear on what you expect from friends .friends .

• Don’t let your anger build up.Don’t let your anger build up.

Disorders and Anger Disorders and Anger

ADHD - you get angry quickly without ADHD - you get angry quickly without thinking about how you express :-thinking about how you express :-

• Your anger doesn’t last very long, and Your anger doesn’t last very long, and you may regret your action later .you may regret your action later .

• School is likely frustrating for you and School is likely frustrating for you and contribute stress and anger poblems.contribute stress and anger poblems.

Disorders and AngerDisorders and Anger

• Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)• Responding “no” whenever parents or others Responding “no” whenever parents or others

in authority ask them to do something.in authority ask them to do something.• Losing their temper easilyLosing their temper easily• Being easily annoyed .Being easily annoyed .• Annoying others on purpose .Annoying others on purpose .• Blaming other people for their own mistakes.Blaming other people for their own mistakes.• Wanting to get revenge on people who they Wanting to get revenge on people who they

think have done them wrong think have done them wrong

Disorders and AngerDisorders and Anger

• Conduct Disorder- Usually violate the Conduct Disorder- Usually violate the rights of the others , over and over again.rights of the others , over and over again.

• Bullying others.Bullying others.• Starting fights.Starting fights.• Using a weapon to threaten or hurt Using a weapon to threaten or hurt

others.others.• Being physically cruel to others or Being physically cruel to others or

creature.creature.• Destroying property Destroying property