Analysis Paper Draft

• Introduction• Why should the average person

care about your topic?

• Description• Explain how this

policy/practice/service works

• Purpose & History• What need does it address?• Describe the evolution of the

policy/practice/service

• Advantages & Disadvantages• What are the positive effects?• What are the negative effects?

• Conclusion

ACADEMIC WRITING

Formal Writing

Audience

Purpose

Organization

Style

Flow

Presentation

Language Focus

1. Eliminating Bureaucratese

2. Vocabulary Shift

3. Formal Grammar Style

1. AVOID BUREAUCRATESE

Bureaucratese• A style of speech or writing characterized by jargon,

euphemisms, and abstractions; held to be typical of bureaucrats.

First Draft > Final Paper

• The conventions of standard regimen fulfilled day-to-day by personas depict their low-income subsistence.

• The characters’ income was not enough to meet their needs.

First Draft > Final Paper

• At a loss in terms of knowledge and literacy, the personalities did not clinch sufficient intuition.

• They could not reason well because they were uneducated.

First Draft > Final Paper

• Having dilemmas at what procedure to do to secure food, all is done to cater to the characters’ gastronomic cravings.

• The starving characters undertook desperate measures in order to eat.

2. PRACTICE BREVITY

Brevity is the key.

• Avoid: This product is the single greatest technological wonder of our time. Nothing that has ever been invented compares to the significance it represents to civilization. Nothing will ever be the same.

• Prefer: This product will change the world.

3. SHIFT VOCABULARY

Avoid Simplistic Terms

SIMPLE

• Cute• Good• Bad

• Adorable• Beneficial• Terrible

SOPHISTICATED

Avoid Compound Verbs

COMPOUND

• Come out• Throw up• Powered through

• Exit• Vomit• Persevere

EFFICIENT

Vocabulary Shift

• According to some biologists, coming up with clear proof of decreasing numbers of frogs has been hard.

• According to some biologists, offering clear proof of decreasing numbers of frogs has been difficult.

1

• The six leading causes of death in the U.S. are mainly brought on by overeating, a lack of exercise, and cigarette smoking.

• Scientists are looking into innovative ways to combat AIDS.

ReviewMaintainDevelopCauseEliminateInvestigateReachDetermineDecreaseConstitute

2

• The purpose of this paper is to try to figure out what is lacking in our current understanding of corrosion.

• Researchers have recently come up with hybrid vehicles that use a fuel-cell engine and a battery-assisted power train.

ReviewMaintainDevelopCauseEliminateInvestigateReachDetermineDecreaseConstitute

3

• Rice and aquatic products make up a major part of the diet of people in the Mekong Delta, Vietnam.

• The use of touch screen voting systems could get rid of many problems associated with paper-based ballots.

ReviewMaintainDevelopCauseEliminateInvestigateReachDetermineDecreaseConstitute

4. FORMAL GRAMMAR STYLE

Formal Grammar Style• Sometimes it’s not just about the vocabulary. It’s also

about the correct use of language – grammar.

A. Avoid Contractions.

• Export figures won’t improve until the economy is stronger.

• Export figures will not improve until the economy is stronger.

Don’t / Shouldn’t / Didn’t Can’t / Ain’t

Haven’tShould’ve / Could’ve

B. Use the more appropriate negative forms.

• Not…any• The analysis didn’t

yield any new results• Not…much• The government didn’t

allocate much funding for the program

• Not…many• The problem doesn’t

have many solutions

• No• The analysis yielded no

new results• Little• The government

allocated little funding for the program.

• Few• This problem has few

solutions

C. Limit the use of “run-on” expressions, such as so on and so forth and etc.

• These semiconductors can be used in robots, CD players, etc.

• These semiconductors can be used in robots, CD players, and other electronic devices.

D. Avoid addressing the reader as you (except for instructions).

• You can see the results in Table 1.

• You can classify individuals as Morning Types (MTs), Evening Types (ETs), or Neither Types (NTs).

• The results can be seen in Table 1.

• Individuals can be classified as Morning Types (MTs), Evening Types (ETs), or Neither Types (NTs).

E. Be careful about using direct questions.

• What can be done to lower costs?

• It is necessary to consider how costs may be lowered.

• OR• We now need to consider how costs may be lowered.

F. Place adverbs within the verb: in midposition rather than initial or final positions.

• Actually, very little is known about the general nature and prevalence of scientific dishonesty.

• Very little is actually known about the general nature and prevalence of scientific dishonesty.

The model was developed by Krugman (1979) originally.

This model was originally developed by Krugman (1979).

Work with your gorgeous & intelligent partners

1. You can use this model to analyze the effects of plastic surgery

2. OK, what are the reasons that coffee prices have fallen? They’re a lot of possibilities.

3. Clearly, you can see the difference between these two subway designs.

4. Recent research has shown that arms are used commonly for protection during a fall to the ground.

5. So far, there hasn’t been any comprehensive study looking into the role of smiling in getting the initial trust of individuals.

6. Worldwide consumption of pesticides has gone up to 2.6 million metric tons.

7. These special tax laws have been enacted in : Switzerland, Norway, Japan, etc.