when dory’s “just keep swimming” isn’t effective... · why is “just keep swimming” not...

WHEN DORY’S“JUST KEEP SWIMMING”

ISN’T EFFECTIVEAKA

STRESS AND ANXIETY

Guidance Officer Beth Mitchell – Varsity College

WHAT IS ANXIETY?

Anxiousness

◦ Normal to experience anxiety and worry.

◦ Helpful versus not helpful behaviours.

- Ongoing worry or fear associated with a situation

- Anxiousness stops your child participating in activities

- Interferes with ability to complete activities in comparison to peers

- Worries are disproportionate to event

Research 2 - 9% of children in Australia experience an anxiety

disorder.

WHAT DOES ANXIETY LOOK LIKE?

GROUP ACTIVITY

What does anxiousness look like?

Physical

- Stomach aches, diarrhoea, headaches, sleepiness, trouble

sleeping alone, nightmares, difficulty joining in to group activities,

Emotional

- Irritability, difficulty concentrating, crying, requires frequent

reassurances

Avoidance of situations.

WHAT IS STRESS?

“With stress, we know what’s worrying us. But with anxiety, you become less

aware of what you’re anxious about [in the moment] and the reaction

becomes the problem.”

- David Spiegal, Assoc Chair of Psychiatry & Behavioural Sciences, Stanford University

SO… WHY IS “JUST KEEP SWIMMING” NOT THE BEST

STRATEGY?

- Learnt skills to identify and manage emotions.

- Children are not born with existing strategies to do this.

- Each child is unique with differing coping skills and sensitivities.

If we ignore or allow the use of ongoing avoidance strategies we are encouraging maladaptive behaviours that will reduce our children’s engagement with their peers, educational achievements and potential long-term mental health concerns.

SO… HOW DO YOU AS A PARENT RESPOND?

HAVE PATIENCE

Identify Verbals and Non-Verbals

◦ I can see that…

◦ You’re scrunching your eyes

◦ You’re breathing heavily

◦ You’re shaking

◦ Your hands are a bit sweaty [etc]

◦ I sometimes feel like that when I worry about something.

Are you feeling a bit worried?

◦ What is worrying you?

Validation and Reflection

◦ It’s okay to feel worried! It’s normal!

◦ It sounds like…

◦ What I’m hearing is…

Consistency and Routine

◦ Create clear and consistent expectations and boundaries

◦ Visual reminders

◦ Simple language and statements “It is a school day”

◦ One step at a time.

◦ Goal setting and Reward

◦ Ride the wave versus rescue

◦ Avoidance = elevation of anxiety next time

Teaching Alternatives

◦ Deep breathing AKA “Balloon Breathing”

◦ Progressive Muscle Relaxation AKA “Muscle Relaxing”

◦ Breaking down activities into smaller parts, identify and reinforcing your child’s attempt and progress. (e.g., I saw that you were worried as you were picking at your nails although you still………. That must have been hard but you were able to do it!!)

◦ Bring up past successes where your child has been able to complete a task and how it felt to them after they were able to do it.

◦ Reminder that you are there to support them

If you are concerned about your children…

◦ Flag it with the Guidance Officer

◦ - what will the Guidance Officer do?◦ Speak with yourselves as the parent/s

◦ Collaborate on a plan of attack

◦ Undertake observations in the classroom/playground

◦ Options◦ Seeing a psychologist

◦ Referral to external psychologist

◦ Talk with your GP/paediatrician/child health centre

Self-care for you!

◦ Super important!

NOTE:

◦ This will take practice!

◦ Can be a shift from what you experienced as a child and usual

parenting style.

Resources

◦ https://childmind.org/topics/concerns/anxiety/

◦ https://brave4you.psy.uq.edu.au/

◦ https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/health-daily-care/mental-health/anxiety-in-

children

◦ https://kidshelpline.com.au/parents/issues/anxiety-kids-and-teens