the perfect gentleman - issue 1
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PERFECT GENTLEMAN
ISSUE NO. 1
T H E M A G A Z I N E F O R A L L G E N T L E M E N
PHOTO BY IAIN GOMES
We debate the age old dilemma
We interview Jane Malyon of theEnglish Cream Tea Company
A guide to that most essential ofetiquette elements - we all should
practice more.
FASHION VS STYLE
THE CHIEFSCONE GNOME
THE ART OFTHE THANK YOU NOTE
THE
AND MUCH MORE BESIDES
WWW.THEPERFECTGENTLEMAN.TV
CONTENTS
Page
3
4-5
6-12
13
14-16
18 - 20
22-24
Page
25-27
28-31
32-33
35-37
38-41
42
From the Desk of #1PG
Gentleman's News
Stylish Gentleman -Fashion vs Style - Cravats
Groomed Gentleman - March Hare (Hair)
Our Man in...Switzerland
Romantic Gentleman -Long Weekends Away
Mannered Gentleman -Thank You Note
Business Gentleman -Five 1st Day Tips
Gourmet Gentleman -An Introduction to Tea
Sporting Gentleman -The Keys to Defence
A Gentleman Talks -Jane Malyon
Cultural Gentleman
The Perfect Lady
From the Desk of #1PG
3
Dear Ladies & Gentlemen,
Welcome to the first issue of ‘The Perfect Gentleman’ magazine. We are are delighted you have joinedus as we re-start our journey in bold new ways. It was just over 3 years ago, when we started ourjourney into making the world a more respectful, stylish & gentlemanly place. In that time we havehad our fair share of ups & downs, challenges & successes. We have had team members & friendscome & go and we have continually learnt along the way.
So here we stand on a steps of a sweeping change to what we do & how we do it. We are going back tofirst principles. We are here to educate & entertain, we ran a quite successful blog for most of theprevious years but now we think it needs a little bit more and here we are.
Let’s start with this Magazine you are reading, we thought that it was better than re-starting the blogwe would up the ante and make a monthly magazine. As we grow, the magazine will grow and we willadd new contributors, more reviews, different items and hopefully more. Please do forgive ourteething issues this month, as we get settled in, but we would rather have something we can work with.
In this first Issue, we tackle Hair, Fashion vs Style, the Art of the Thank You note and more we are alsoincluding our interview with Jane Malyon from the English Cream Tea company, her tale about hergift is hilarious. We do hope you enjoy all our articles.
But we aren’t stopping with the Magazine. No, we launch our weekly podcast series with my delightfulco-host, James Marwood. ‘The Perfect Gentleman’ podcast will cover some of the content from themagazine but with a different perspective. If, that wasn’t enough we are launching an almost dailyvideo series both through our YouTube channel & via Periscope. If you want to know our contentSchedule, we have a page in magazine to guide you through the month of content.
We hope there is something for everyone across all our media platforms and we want to hear fromyou our friends & supporters - do drop us an email (enquires@theperfectgentleman.tv) or contactthrough our social media channels.
Once again thank you for joining us on this journey, we hope you will be informed, educated andmost certainly entertained.
Most Gentlemanly Yours,
Zach Falconer-Barfield#1PG
GENTLEMAN NEWS
4
The SundayTaste
The Sunday Taste Series StartsAgain
We ran a successful series ofevents, pairing Cigars withunusual non-alcohol items
throughout last year. These werein association with Emanuel
Brefin & Mike Choi of the EdwardSahakian Cigar Lounge in
London. We had the world’s mostexpensive coffee, fabulous tea, top
cheese and fabulous fragrance.
We are restarting these fantasticevents in London starting in Aprilon Sunday 10th April. We will also
be starting also these events inBasel in Switzerland soon.
Please head to the main websitefor more details.
Actor Christoph Waltz bemoans the rise of the ‘Dude’
The fantastic German actor, in an interview forwww.dmarge.com talked about Chivalry & his view that he
does not consider ‘dude’ a compliment. The interview isexcellent and well worth the read but one of our favouritelines from the interview is “My approach to style is that it
wouldn’t be style if I talked about it”. Though wefrequently talk about it, but hopefully from a position of
advice.
Biscuit Shortage in the UK
Oh the horrors, England is experiencing a Biscuit(Cookies for our American readers) shortage! Due toflooding in the north of England, McVitie’s FactoryOvens were under water, which meant that Ginger
Nuts, Bourbons & Custard Creams are in shortsupply. We will have to resort to cake with our 4pm
tea for the time being!
GENTLEMAN NEWS
5
Men’s Fashion Weeks Expand
Men’s Fashion is exploding and along with that the rise ofMen’s Fashion Weeks from the core ones of London, Milan& Paris, there are now Mens Fashion Weeks in Vancouver,Toronto, Singapore to start and now the latest one is NewYork, which happened in February. We will be looking at
the next ones in June & July.
New Contributors
We are really excited in bringing new people into the PerfectGentleman fold. The first new partner in The Perfect Gentleman isour dear friend James Marwood. He will be contributing articles but
also partnering up on the Podcasts and doing some videos.Our Second new Contributor is our man in Switzerland Paul Ernst,
who will be delivering some news from Switzerland but alsodropping in articles on travel & gourmet items.
We have new contributors joining us from next month, so staytuned.
STYLISH GENTLEMAN
6
Coco Chanel once said that while “Fashionfades, only style remains the same”. This is true.Whilst fast fashion brands like Zara change theirstocks fortnightly, the basic principles of men'sstyle remain unchanged from their birth in the18th and 19th centuries.
By contrast, fashion is based on novelty anddriving sales. Fashion salespeople do not care if*you* look good in something, or if it is inproportion to your body. Nor do ‘This season’scolours’ take account of your own tones. Ratherthey have a product to sell, and they’ll ram itdown your throat whether you want it or not.
Part of this is the difficulty of protectingclothing designs from copying. Unlike otherproducts, clothing designs cannot becopyrighted. This makes it difficult for brands tobuild a unique and recognisable product. Logos,however can be. This is why we see simplet-shirts being sold for high prices, on the basis ofa logo. To quote Macklemore this is “Beingswindled by a business”.
FASHIONVS
STYLE
To support this fast rotation of clothes, somemajor retailers have worked hard to lower theprice of items. At the opposite end of the fashionmarket to the £90 t-shirts we find clothes socheap as to be disposable. It seems easy to wearthem a couple of times, and then donate them toa charity shop or goodwill. All very good.
Perhaps not, according to Andrew Brooks, alecturer in Development Geography at London’sKings College. In his book Clothing Poverty heshows that only 30% of the clothing donated tosuch shops ends up on display. The poorerquality, fast fashion items are instead sold on totextile agents and sold for low prices indeveloping countries. For these countries,primarily in sub-saharan Africa, this hasdecimated local clothing industries. Nigeria,Ghana and Zambia are among those hedescribes as particularly affected.
Perhaps not, according to Andrew Brooks, alecturer in Development Geography at London’sKings College. In his book Clothing Poverty,
by James Marwood
STYLISH GENTLEMAN
7
he shows that only 30% of the clothing donatedto such shops ends up on display. The poorerquality, fast fashion items are instead sold on totextile agents and sold for low prices indeveloping countries. For these countries,primarily in sub-saharan Africa, this hasdecimated local clothing industries. Nigeria,Ghana and Zambia are among those hedescribes as particularly affected.
This may make it seem hard to pick clothes thatare not over-priced, damaging to others andbadly suited. This is not the case however. Byfollowing some simple principles it is possible todress well, avoid being ripped-off and supportgood businesses. This is where style comes in.
Style is based on five main principles: Fit,Proportion, Colour, Pattern and Texture. Whilethese are not hard to learn, they do take time tounderstand. Over the next few months we’llbreak these down and explain how and whythey’re important. This will allow you to dresswell easily, and to understand the clothes thatwork well for you. It also allows you to build agood wardrobe over time, buying quality clothesthat will last you many years and cost you muchless money in the long-run.
Fit can be surprisingly hard to get right. Whenfaced with images of models and movie starswearing over-tight and too short suits, or singersin bizarrely proportioned sportswear it can behard to find good examples. In general, clothingshould follow the lines of your body. It shouldnot be tight and clingy, nor should it be baggy. Itshould gently help suggest an idealised physiqueor broad shoulders and narrow hips but itshould also be comfortable and able to be wornfor long stretches without being tiring.
For those of you. like me, who care carrying afew extra pounds the point about avoidingbagginess is especially important.
It can be tempting to go for clothes a few sizeslarger in the hope it will disguise some of thatextra weight. It will not. Whilst there aretechniques that can help with this which we willcover in later issues, in general we want to drawas little attention to our large tummies and bumsas possible. This means not baggy, not tight andwith few extra details, like pockets or designs.
Proportion is important in making the most ofour natural physique. Style legend Alan Flussercalls this the “The Foundation of Style”. Hisadvice is equally priceless. Clothes should be inproportion to your body. When dressingformally the lapels of your jacket, tie and shirtcollar should all be in harmony with each otherand yourself. This means long and thin for tall,slim men and broader for stouter chaps.
Jackets and coats should be long enough tocover the curve of the buttocks whilst allowingfor as long a leg line as possible. The short suitjacket cursed as a “Bumfreezer” by tailors shouldbe avoided. Trousers should be comfortable, butnot snug, and the rise (The height betweencrotch and waistband) should be enough to becomfortable, whilst not giving you a patch ofshirt visible under your buttoned jacket.
STYLISH GENTLEMAN
8
Colour can be one of the hardest elements to getright, and yet even simple changes can havedramatic improvments. Most traditionalmenswear uses two main colour palettes. Bluesand greys, or browns and tans. These can bemixed and brighter colours added in, but theseform the basis. Putting them together is an artbut simple principles can help. To understandthese we need first to understand our owncolouring - that of our skin and hair.
The amount of contrast between these is whatguides the contrast in the colours we wear. Thussomeone with dark skin and dark hair shouldwear colours of similar shade, whilst light skinand dark hair allows for greater variation.Adhering to this principle will allow our naturalcolouring to be highlighted and prevent us fromlooking washed out or muted.
The second principle is to wear similar coloursto your own natural colouring. This meanssandy tones for men with fair hair and darkcolours for men with dark complexions.Combined with our first principle this carriesover to colour tone as well, with brighter shadesworking best for men with more dramaticcolouring and more muted shades for those withlower contrast. For men with very dark skin, thisalso allows for great contrast and dramaticcolour choices.
Pattern and Texture can be consideredtogether, since they work in very similar ways.For more formal clothing, both should bedown-played, which is why formal dinner wearis smooth and plain. However for business orcasual wear we can be a little more playful.
Generally we should avoid having too great avariation between textures within an outfit.Rough denim jeans look great with tweed orflannel jackets but not with the smooth worstedused for most suits.
Likewise chunky knits go well with robustbrogues and cords, but not with smooth cottontrousers or shirts.
Mixing patterns can also be difficult. We will gointo this in more detail later, but generally wewant to avoid putting too similar patternstogether. Mixing checks together, or wearing afinely striped shirt with a pinstripe suit. We wantto help the eye of the observer towards our face,and not cause them to get trapped in the clashbetween a paisley tie and flowery shirt.
Simple principles, but allowing for a lot ofvariation. We’ll explain these in more detail inlater issues, but moving away from fashion andtowards style will help you choose clothes thatbest suit you, that you enjoy and that help youachieve your goals. Much better than wearingsomething just because a salesman wants toreach his monthly target.
9
STYLISH GENTLEMAN
10
Here at PGHQ we love a Cravat, or, as ourAmerican friends say, a ‘Day Ascot’. They have acertain charm, indeed a flair of style that hasalmost been forgotten by the current stylishgent about town. This is probably due to theheinous fashion faux pas that was part of the1970s for men. The cravat became seen as eithera thing for old men or 70s throwbacks and fellaway from men’s wardrobes for more than 20years, but they are now making a comeback anddeservedly so!
On the 18th of October every year there isWorld Cravat Day, which was started in Croatiain 2003. The Cravat originated, like a great dealof men’s fashion, from the Military, in this casefrom 17th century Croatian Mercenaries. Thesemercenaries favoured a red piece of cloth tiedaround their necks, indeed they were sowell-known for this piece of fashion that thesefeared men were called ‘The Cravates”.
In Croatia, the home of the Cravat, they have anorganisation for the preservation andpromotion of Cravats, Academia Cravatica,which launched in 1997 to promote both theCravat and it’s history with Croatia.
The Cravat is the precursor of the modern tieand developed over time through variousincarnations. During the 17th and 18th centuriesit was the height of fashion, as Sir PercivalBlakeney so eloquently states in ‘The ScarletPimpernel’ -
“Only a cravat? Oh, my dear sir. A cravat is the
apotheosis of all neckwear. A cravat desigeshes a man
of refinement from the merely ordinary it sneers at the
severity of the stock. It is the only item of dress the
expresses true individuality. And whether is be made
of lace or silk or the finest loom it thrives on
ingenuity, on originality, and above all on personality
down to the last skilled of twist of bow or knot”
In Praise ofCRAVATS
“A well-knotted cravat is the first serious step in a man’s life.”Oscar Wilde
by Zach Falconer-Barfield
STYLISH GENTLEMAN
12
Beau Brummel, the sartorial legend, was famousfor wasting hundreds of cravats by discardingones that did not tie perfectly. Then the cravatstarted to change and the tie as we know it nowdeveloped in the Victorian period and took afashionable hold over the stylish men of theworld.
The cravat floundered and morphed into thestyle we know today, the Day Cravat or Ascot,which bears a striking similarity to the Cravat’sworn by those Croats in the 1600s. It wasbrought back to the height of fashion in the1920s & 30s by the Duke of Windsor and acohort of film stars such as Cary Grant, DavidNiven and the like, and stayed in fashion untilthe 1970s.
That brings us to today. I so enjoyed seeing myGrandfather wear his cravat and watching thestylish men of Hollywood past that I wanted tomake the cravat an item the world would wearagain.
Therefore, we, along with some lovely friendssuch as Cravat Club, started #CravatFridayabout 3 years ago in an effort to bring the cravatback into style and onto the racks of men’swardrobes. Every friday we wear a cravat toshow that it is a practical choice for men’s necks.In 2014, the cause was taken up by NicholasParsons, the 90 year old British Entertainer andthe media finally heard the call, with articles inthe Telegraph and on the BBC.
Nicholas Parsons said “I think the open-neckedshirt is really rather ugly. It's not the mostattractive part of a man's anatomy.” So, why notwear a Cravat.
Since then we have seen a steady rise of theCravat as a piece of neckwear, it is coming awayfrom the dandy & the hipster and movingslowly into mainstream. We will keepchampioning the Cravat and keep wearing themevery friday. Why not join us?
Our Man in...
13
Dear Gentleman,
I am over excited to write this letter to you from Basel, Switzerland. The Perfect
Gentleman has landed on Swiss boarders and is excited to turn this land known for its
cheese into a more gentlemanly one.
Some of you may ask, “Why start a gentlemanly business in Basel?” My answer is simple-
although we may be small and more known for our pharmaceutical and chemical
companies, we are also home to two of the largest Swiss cigar importers, Intertabak and
Davidoff. You will be surprised with the many hidden gems tucked away in this culture
rich city – be it cigar lounges, award winning whisky bars, master tailors, the list goes on.
Even tough Basel offers many similar gentlemanly services to London, New York or Hong
Kong; it is still difficult to find a truly Swiss gentleman. We feel the Swiss man is one who
prefers to stay in his comfort zone, follows his routines and enjoys a more casual lifestyle.
But there is also a movement of change in the younger generation. This generation wants
to learn how to groom themselves, how to choose the right suite and how to enjoy the
finer things in life but lacks the knowledge.
The Perfect Gentleman is now here to show the Swiss men that the modern gentleman is
made, not born. We have put things in motion, we have begun to seek for potential
partners and have quite a few lined up. A series of training events and experiences are on
our list – ‘The Sunday Taste’, ‘Shake It Up Cocktail Workshop’, ‘The Finer Things’, to
name a few.
Here at the PG office we are all real excited and looking forward to hosting our first
experience soon. We also hope that you will join us on our journey in making Switzerland
into a more gentlemanly, respectful and stylish place.
Your sincerely,
Paul1st Swiss Gentleman
Groomed Gentleman
14
or Hair
March Hareby the Groomed Gentleman
Top Tips to put the Spring back in your Hair (or Hare)
In our first Groomed Gentlemen section, wetackle the thing at the top of your head, yourhair, for some it is an obsession of style forothers it is something that is nothing morethan keeping the top of your head warm. Asevery Gentleman knows it’s the details thatmatter, so hopefully we can give you some toptips to make your hair hop to perfection thisMarch and put a spring in your step.
Start with the Scalp
We tend to forget that beneath our head of hairis a patch of skin, that needs on it’s own duecare and attention. We tend to throw chemicalson it, scrape it with plastic & metal and scald itwith hot air, without so much of a care. Let uspause and take a little care of our scalp, it is thebedrock of a perfectly good head of hair.
Once or twice a week one should Exfoliateyour scalp. Yes, you did not read wrong. Wehave got better as men at taking care of ourfacial skin and most of us use some kind of facewash and/or exfoliation for our face. Why notour scalp, now you can use ones that arespecifically designed for the scalp or you canjust use one that you would normally use onyour face, as it’s still skin under the hair afterall.Do exfoliate before you shampoo.
We don’t know about you but having someonemassage our head is a foot in the door ofparadise. A good head massage not only is ablissful experience, it does your scalp no end ofgood. It works in exactly the same way as anyother massage, stimulating blood vessels & helping the muscles relax. Indeed, do it foryourself but even better try & find someoneelse to treat you.
Groomed Gentleman
15
Shampoo & Conditioner
Before we get onto washing the hair itself, aquick word about the products you are going touse.
You need to experiment, everyone’s skin & hairare different and some will work better thanothers, it might be a cheaper product than aridiculously priced one. You have to find theones that work for you. That means a littleexperimentation. Get samples, borrow yourpartner's and see what works.
The key thing is to use products that areformulated for your general hair type, such asdry, oily and the like. It is best to use separateShampoo & Conditioner, the combinationsaren’t generally as good. Yes, you should use aConditioner after a shampoo to look after yourhair.
We will go into depth & start testing differentproducts in later issues.
Washing
Washing your hair everyday with shampoo, isnot actually good for your hair. Shocking, isn’tit.
In fact you should only wash your hair about 3times a week, in between times you should justrinse your hair whilst in the bath or shower.Now for the first week or so, of not washing iteveryday your hair will rebalance itself.Therefore it might get a little greasier as it triesto get used to the natural levels, but it will evenout.
There are other products such as dry shampoo& sprays that will keep your hair looking &feeling wonderful during those in betweendays.
There are, naturally, exceptions to the notwashing your hair everyday guidelines, such asif you have particularly oily hair or you use alot of product everyday.
Drying
Now this may surprise you even more butrubbing your hair dry with a towel is actuallyquite bad for your hair. It pulls at the folliclesand stretches & breaks the hair, which is not sogood.
When you come out of the shower, you shouldpat your hair dry with your towel. After thatand you still need to dry it, a blast with a hairdryer should do the trick. Though it should beset on the lowest heat setting as you don’t wantto damage your hair after you have taken suchgood care of it thus far!
Groomed Gentleman
16
Product
Some might go au natural, but so manyGentlemen these days use some form ofproduct in their hair, to keep that style in place.Nowadays there is a huge range of productsand looks to suit every style. Paste, Fibre, Wax,clay, Putty, Cream, Gel, Pomade, Mousse,Hairspray and you can see the confusion.
This is where your individual style comes intoplay and some good advice from your Barber.Once again, take time to find which productsuits you, your budget & your style.
We will be going deeper into the differencebetween products and reviewing some infuture articles and through the video series.
The Barber & The Haircut
Choosing a Barber, is almost as important aschoosing a tailor, it is all about individualchoice and revolves around personality, budgetand style. Unless it’s an emergency, you reallyshouldn’t just pop into the nearest barber.
Finding that person that you like; sees whatlook you are trying to aim for; fits your budgetand even challenges you every now and then.Oh, yes, and also provides a damn fine haircut.It’s about a relationship and your hair does saya great deal about you.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions of the barber,find out about their experience what kind ofthings they like to do (to hair) and watch howthey work & treat customers. You can tell agreat deal about people in how they engagewith the customers and vice versa.
Finally, if you are looking in the mirrorthinking to yourself, ‘you need a haircut’ then itis generally too late. It should be a regularexperience that is almost fixed in your diaryand if you enjoy going to your barber it won’tbe a chore.
We suggest that you should go every 4-6 weeksdepending on how quickly your hair grows, but6 weeks should be the maximum. You willknow and then fix it in the diary.
We hope we have given you some things toponder but hopefully you will be ready to stepout in Spring with confidence with your headheld high!
PUT A GENTLEMANON YOUR SHELF
Romantic Gentleman
18
WEEKENDS AWAY
L
O
N
G
Whether you have successfully navigated the
dating waters for a little while with your new
found love or you have been romancing the love
of your life for awhile and now it’s time for, the
Long Weekend away. We are the Perfect
Gentleman, therefore we are not implying seedy
and as we always stop at the bedroom door, with
all our advice this is about the date itself. We
assume you can take care of the rest.
The weekend away, is a perfect opportunity to
spend time with your partner, not just an
evening or indeed a night but a getaway from it
all. The weekend away was very popular date
when people lived at home for longer and then
during the later half of the 20th Century that
changed somewhat but now we are back in the
place when more people share houses and
people live with their families longer once again.
The long weekend away is a great way to learn
more and/or spend quality time in each others
company without interruptions..
Approaching the Idea
If you are just starting out in the dating world, it
may seem old fashioned of us to put this section
in but you never know and we would always err
on the side of caution.
If you have been dating for a little while and you
may even have gone ‘beyond the bedroom door’
as we like to say, but for some people the idea of
spending more than a short period of time
together can be daunting.
Suggest the idea as an abstract to start with, such
as mentioning a place and saying that would be
nice to visit together. If the reaction is positive
then not only do you know you are on the right
track but you have an idea of a place to visit.
When are ready to ask, it is always good to have
a suggestion in mind of the place to go and make
sure your partner knows that you want to spend
quality time with them.
photo by Tim Swaan
by The Romantic Gentleman
Romantic Gentleman
19
Guess what...Time to Plan
You might have heard us say this before but
please do take the time to do a little planning
and some listening. Last minute can be fun and
can lead to some great adventures, hopping in
the car and letting you nose guide your way. I
would highly recommend it, but even then you
need to know that your partner likes those sorts
of trips that you want to embark on.
Finding out what kind of hotel, or locations they
like during the course of previous conversations
will give you plenty of ammunition for the
weekend away. It always good to have an idea
about what might work or what takes their
fancy.Also if you are doing a little planning, it
can help with costs as we all know the earlier you
book can be the cheapest option, if budgets are a
concern.
Town, Country or further afield?
The question of where is somewhat a matter of
personal taste, so we are just making a few
suggestions to ease you along the path.
A trip to a major city in your country, if you are
not from there, can be an exciting adventure. It
can combine shopping, a show and indeed a
walk around the back streets to find a little cafe.
Even if you live in a Big City sometimes
spending a weekend in an area you don’t know
can lead to all sorts of discoveries.If you want to
take it further afield, then a weekend in the
country can be a beautiful distraction. A quaint
Bed and Breakfast or a old Inn with a roaring log
fire or a country manor with a spa retreat can
cater for all different ideals. You can combine it
with a historic landmark or just a walk in the
woods.
Romantic Gentleman
20
If you have the time, budget and inspiration to
travel then a weekend in a new city can be
thrilling and inspiring. We highly recommend
Taschen’s & New York Times 36 Hours series.
Adding a lock to the Pont de l'Archevêché in
Paris or taking a Hot Chocolate in Vienna or
indeed staring out over New York from the top
of 30 Rockefeller Plaza, they all have their
charms.
Do though remember travel times and distances
when planning these.If you want something
special then the great website Mr & Mrs Smith
has some fantastic hotels around the world.
Packing
You are going away so you will need to pack (for
actual packing tips and strategies we shall be
doing those in our Travelling Gentleman
columns). We suggest that you pack appropriate
clothing for your activities, walking, sightseeing
and the like. We suggest that you also pack
something smart as you will be having dinner
with your partner and it will be romantic.
As for your partner, unless it is a surprise, do
give her a good idea about what you are doing
or planning to do. So she may dress and pack
appropriately. If it is a surprise, give your loved
one a good idea about the type of weather she
will encounter and the type of activities you
might do, you don’t want a panicked lady nor
three suitcases for a weekend away as they pack
for every eventuality!
In Event of Emergency
Things can go wrong, both with the trip and the
relationship. Thought we are loathe to put a
negative in anything we do here at the Perfect
Gentleman, we must prepare occasionally for a
little rain to fall.
If the weekend doesn’t go to plan as far as events
go, the best way to deal with it is to laugh it off
and treat it as a great adventure. Life will always
throw you obstacles and how you as a
Gentleman and you as a new team deal with
them will show a great deal about your character
and the strength of your relationship.
If on the other hand, the weekend does not work
on a personal level then, always be prepared to
change your plans.
HAVE FUN
The most important factor in this date is to have
fun! Enjoy the time together. Put the phones
away. The distractions and worries should be left
behind. This is about the two of you actually
‘being together’ so spend the time and do it!
Feel free to take these suggestions and tips on
board and use them all the way through
life….We at the Perfect Gentleman do!
Mannered Gentleman
22
The Thank You note is an important arrow in
the quiver of any Gentleman. It used to be
traditional that any time someone was given a
present, invited to an event, or was a guest at
another person's house, they would express
their thanks with a well written note, or letter.
While the practice seems to have slipped
somewhat in its overall usage, the increasing
novelty makes it stand out even more.
There are three elements to the Thank You
note that make it stand out in today's
increasingly technology dominated world.
Firstly, receiving a letter through the post that
is not a bill or bank statement is still a lovely
experience: having something to physically
hold in your hand; looking at the post mark to
try to work out where it was sent from, and
from there deduce who might have sent it;
trying in vain to recognise the handwriting;
ripping open the envelope, sliding out the
letter, and unfolding it to reveal the note
inside. The whole process is charming.
Opening up the letter, you find that (whether
their penmanship is particularly good or not)
the sender has made the effort to hand write
the note to you. This is also special for its rarity
value. Almost all of the communications that
we receive today are typed, either on a
computer or on a phone, so having a hand
written message adds to the feeling of
importance of the message contained, and
makes it feel much more personal as a result.
Even without these first two elements, the
thought that someone has made the effort to
thank you with a letter, instead of a quick
email, call or text, means that they are truly
appreciative, and want to express it in a more
permanent, meaningful way.
The Art of the Thank You Note
by Ruairidh Bulger
Mannered Gentleman
23
When do you send a Thank You note?
Every time that you receive a present, attend a
special event you were invited to (birthday,
wedding, anniversary etc.), stay at someone's
house, or have received special help with a
project, or planning an event or party, or at a
time of bereavement. As a parent, it is also
your responsibility to write any such notes on
behalf of your children whilst they are still
unable to do so for themselves, and to
encourage and assist them to write the notes
themselves as soon as they are able to write
their own.
The Thank You note should be sent out as
soon as possible in most circumstances (i.e.
within the same week) although for weddings,
it is acceptable to allow some extra time (no
more than three months) as this is generally a
time where there are a number of other things
going on, like that long awaited honeymoon.
What should be said in a note?
At the most fundamental level, a Thank You
note is for saying thank you. If you have
received a present that you are not very happy
with, or you think is not appropriate, then any
snide or passive aggressive comments or
sentiments should be kept to yourself, and not
expressed in any way in the Thank You note.
A traditional Thank You note has a standard
format. It opens and closes with expressions of
gratitude. Make sure that you are not overly
flowery with your wording here, as a genuine
heartfelt thank you is always more authentic,
and expresses your thanks more sincerely. In
between these opening and closing thanks, you
should mention the present that you have
received, and make some comment about how
well it has been received. You should also add a
nod towards the future before your final
expression of thanks.
Dear Juliette,Thank you so much for your present. The cake tin was exactly what was missing from our kitchen,and we have already made a delicious sponge. We can't wait to make something for you the nexttime you come round. Once again, many thanks.Love,Sophie
There is an example of a traditional thank you note
for receiving a present below:
For someone's help over a special period, an example
might be:
Dear Tom,Thank you for all the help that you gave me in organising Dad's birthday. He really enjoyedhimself, and was completely surprised. I truly valued the advice that you gave me, and couldn'thave done it without your calm reassurance. I really can't thank you enough.Lots of love,Georgia
Mannered Gentleman
24
Dealing with the technology-age speed ofcommunications.
In the modern age, those people from whom
you receive gifts, or the kind of help that
would warrant a Thank You note, are the
people that you are in constant contact with,
either by text, or email, Facebook, Twitter,
Instagram. An almost constant stream of
instant communication. You have decided that
you want to write a Thank You note to this
person, and you want to make sure that you
keep your best lines for the note, but it would
seem rude and weird if you did not talk to that
person in the time between receiving the gift,
and their receipt of the note. It would seem
equally odd if you did speak to them, but did
not in any way acknowledge the gift or help
that they gave you.
The best thing to do, would be to offer an
quick text, which acknowledges that you have
received the gift, to put the person's mind at
ease that it has not been lost in the post.
Something along the lines of 'I have just
received your present, and am so excited about
opening it.' Whilst not actually thanking the
sender, it does give a nod in that direction, and
yet allows you keep your full thanks for the
note. Just make sure that you don't leave it too
long to send the letter, otherwise the person
might wonder if you liked it or not.
photo by Aaron Burden
Business Gentleman
25
We have all had first day experiences, from School to University and into the work world. With
today's working world, people move more frequently and indeed a great many people are
consultants so they have to start in new places more & more frequently. So, we thought as it’s our
first issue and our first Business Gentleman section we will give you our 5 top 1st day tips.
1 - Be on Time
It maybe a simple thing to say, but you
never know what might happen, so as
every good gentlemen knows a little
preparation goes a long way. It is best to
anticipate problems;
so remember the following:
+ Make sure you have the correct address
+ Check the travel times, if it is relatively
nearby, it might be wise to do a test run.
+ Plan to arrive early, you can always find
somewhere for a coffee, this it’s better
than rushing to make it.
+ Set more than one alarm on the day!
2 - Dress Appropriately & to Impress
It is an often touted saying that you never
get a second chance to make a first
impression. It is one of those truisms,
indeed there is psychological evidence to
back this up. Remember these key things:
+ Dress to fit into the surroundings, but
err on the more formal.
+ If wearing a suit, wear a tie. You can
always take it off, but it looks silly to put
one on.
+ Dress well, it will make you feel more
confident as well as you are likely to be
noticed.
Five
First
Day
Top Tips
By James Marwood
& Zach Falconer-Barfield
Business Gentleman
26
3 - Bring Some Cash
I know that in this digital card based
world, you would think this silly advice,
but not everywhere you will go will take
cards.
The canteen or coffee shop might be a
cash only affair and you don’t want to
hold up the queue discovering this too
late.
5 - Take Notes
You will forget things, it will be a busy
day of names, information and tasks,
therefore it pays to make notes.
We suggest to keep a little notebook with
you all day, so you can jot down the
name of the boss’s personal assistant,
extension numbers and all those little
things that will slip your mind otherwise.
4 - Be Nice
This also might seem trite, but people
forget on their first day as they are all full
of their own nerves and get tunnel vision.
Being genuinely nice, makes things
happen; it opens doors, eases projects and
can prove immensely helpful.
It should go without saying that you
should be nice to everyone you meet from
the receptionist to the janitor not only on
day one but it’s a good place to start.
If you are having a First day - Good Luck!
Business Gentleman
27
Here is a little cautionary tale about how things
can go exceptionally wrong.
This is the tale of the 7 minute meeting, that was
the time from me entering the building to me
being back out on the street again. It was one of
the strangest meetings of my business life and I
have had some weird ones.
After much of a ‘to do’, with many email
exchanges, multiple meeting cancellations on
both sides but mostly from my opposite number
and months passing, I finally got scheduled a
meeting with this person.
Now, it had been put in my diary by my PA, at
the time, and I had double checked with her.
Unfortunately, I had to squeeze in an urgent
meeting just before it, where I received some
shocking news. Therefore, I was running late, I
was flustered and to top it all off it was raining,
everything was conspiring against me. I ran to
get there, and ended up being ten minutes late.I
waited outside, and then was rushed in to see
this person, being told by the assistant that I had
ten minutes. Now I had not expected that as we
had been scheduled for about an hour, but tried
to compose myself.
I entered the room, immediately getting the
feeling that I was certainly not welcome. I was
told, by the person once again that I had just ten
minutes. I apologized to them as I had done all
the way, from the receptionist, to the PA, to the
person in question as soon as I entered, for
being late.
Being a little flustered both in my tardiness
from the news, I rushed through all my stuff
and I was a little disjointed. The person was
openly hostile, demanding that they wanted to
know specifically what I wanted. Then without
drawing breath they went onto say various
things, including that they never wanted the
meeting and that the meeting was scheduled for
a half hour earlier, which according to me it was
not. Concluding with the statement that ‘I had
an attitude problem’. The person then
terminated the meeting by getting up and
walking out.
Well on that note, I rose and as I left, sadly I
lowered myself to their standards and said that
they had a bad attitude, as well. Which, in
hindsight, was petty but I was now shocked.
From me entering reception and the PA
collecting me, to being kicked out, the entire
encounter lasted less than 7 minutes. I walked
out and left the building.
Later, this person emailed me, telling me they
never had a meeting like it and taking great joy
in pointing out that the meeting was scheduled
for the time that they had stated (copying in the
PA to PA communication) and that I had
requested the meeting and stating once again he
had not wanted it. I replied saying that I had not
meant to cause offense and that it was the
weirdest meeting of my career to date too.
There are many lessons to be learned from this
encounter and I hope I have learnt most of
them. Suffice to say I have not had a meeting
like it since.
The 7 Minute Meetingby Zach Falconer-Barfield
Gourmet Gentleman
28
Second only to water, tea is the mostcommonly drunk beverage across theworld. Indeed, it was one of the factorsthat helped to build the British Empire inthe 16th and 17th centuries. Flavours ofteas can be a subtle and as varied as wines,and the more a person looks into tea andits culture, the more there is to learn andunderstand about it.
What is tea (and what isn't)?
Tea is an infusion, but not all infusionsare tea. An infusion of fresh mint is not atea, and neither is an infusion ofcamomile, but both are often mislabelledas tea. Tea itself is an infusion made usingthe leaves of the tea plant (camelliasinensis), which is an evergreen shrubnative to Asia. If the drink that you areenjoying does not include leaves of thetea plant, it is not tea and just an infusion.
A Brief History of Tea
Tea originated in China as a medicinal drink.Containers for tea have been found in tombs,dating from the Han dynasty (206 B.C.E. to220 C.E.), but it was under the Tang dynasty(618 to 906 C.E.) that tea became trulyestablished as the national drink of the land.During this period, Tea and tea drinking wasspread to Korea, Japan, and Vietnam. InIndia, it has been drunk for a long (albeituncertain) period, but this seems to havebeen concentrated to the Himalayan region,until the British imported it much later.In the 16th Century, tea was brought back tothe west by the Portuguese traders andmissionaries who had grown to like thebeverage while they were out in the East. However it was first imported as acommercial enterprise by the Dutch at thevery start if the 17th Century, from where itsoon gained international favour amongstthe wealthy elite.
AnIntroduction
toTea
by Ruairidh Bulger
Gourmet Gentleman
29
They were the only ones who couldafford such a luxury product.Favour for the drink in the UK reallyblossomed with the marriage ofCatherine of Braganza, a PortuguesePrincess and tea fanatic, to King Charles IIin May 1662. The sharp rise in popularityin the drink instigated the trading of teaby the hugely powerful East IndiaCompany, which placed its first order in1664.Heavy taxation of tea lead to a smugglingtrade that grew to outstrip the official teatrade at 7 million lbs as opposed to 5million lbs in legal trade. In addition, teawas being adulterated by the leaves ofother plants, and also by tea leaves thathad been previously used and thenre-dried, resulting in a poor qualityproduct. By 1784, the governmentrealised that the tax was having adisastrous effect, and the tax rate wasslashed from 119% to 12.5%. The tax on teawas only finally abolished in 1964.
Tea was originally mass produced in Indiaby Robert Fortune. Fortune was sent by theEast India Company to China in 1848(between the first and second opium wars) tobring the tea plant back to Great Britain.When the British brought the tea plant toIndia, it failed to take, but they laterdiscovered that there was a local varietynative to the Assam region. Using Chinesecultivation and planting techniques, theBritish managed to establish a tea industry inIndia incentivised by offering land to anyEuropean who would cultivate it for export.
Tea Classifications
Tea is traditionally classified based on thedegree or the period of 'fermentation' theleaves have undergone. There is adisagreement between China and the othercountries that produce teas as to how eachtype of tea is described.
White Tea
White tea is wilted and unoxidised, it is verymellow, gentle and floral in flavour. Thesoftest of flavours come from the youngestmost delicate leaves. Leaves used for whitetea can barely even be described as leaves atall. The are leaf buds and flower petals.The buds of the tea can have a silveryappearance, and therefore are sometimesreferred to as Silver Tip. The whiteness ofthis tea refers to the absence of man-madeprocessing.
Green Tea
Green tea is unwilted, and unoxidised, it ismade with the very first, youngest openleaves on each shoot of the tea bush.
Gourmet Gentleman
30
Yellow Tea
Yellow tea is unwilted and unoxidised, buthas been allowed to yellow.This process leaves the leaves with agreen-yellow or yellow colour, whichlends itself to a tea that is itself a morelight and yellow in colour.
Oolong (blue) Tea
Oolong tea is wilted, bruised, and partiallyoxidised.Semi-oxidised teas are collectively knownas 'blue' teas in China, while the term'Oolong' is used as a name for certainspecific teas.
Black Tea
Black tea is wilted, sometimes crushed,and fully oxidised.Leaves for the black tea are a little olderthan the ones used for green or whiteteas. In Chinese tea descriptions, theseteas are called ‘red’ teas.
Post-fermented (matured) Tea
Post-fermented teas are green teas thathave been allowed to ferment/compost.These include Pu-ehr, Liu'an and Liuboteas. In Chinese tea descriptions, these arereferred to as black teas.
Tisanes
Tisanes (or herbal infusions) are not teasat all, as they are not made with tea, butare infused with hot water in the sameway. They are often made with herbs,spices, or other plant material
Countries of Production
China
Although tea originated in China, it is was fora long time only the second largest teaproducer in the world, losing out to India. Recently, it has regained the top spot, asIndia has run out of space in which to opennew plantations.
India
India is currently the second largest teaproducing country in the world, havingrecently lost the top stop to China. Indiaproduces many different types of tea, asthere are a number of growing areas withinthe last country, that have very differentclimates, and therefore very differentgrowing conditions.
Darjeeling: Located in the foothills of theHimalayas, the Darjeeling plantations are athigh altitudes (from 400 to 2,500m abovesea level) around the town of Darjeeling. This is in a small part of India sandwichedbetween Bhutan, Bangladesh, Nepal andChina. The first plantation was started bythe British in 1856. There are now over 90plantations in Darjeeling, and quality is nowmore due to the skill of the planter than thealtitude.
Assam: The province of Assam is to the Eastof Darjeeling, sandwiched between China,Bangladesh, Bhutan and Myanmar (Burma).It is a low lying region of India, that isintersected by the Brahmaputra River, andits tributaries, and at the start of the 20thcentury it was covered in tropical rainforest.
Gourmet Gentleman
31
Nilgiri, Dooars, Kangra and Terai are theother major tea producing regions withinIndia, and each of them produces teas ofdifferent characteristics depending on theclimate and terrain of the region.
Sri Lanka: Tea was first introduced to SriLanka by the British in 1857. At the time,the island was totally covered in coffeeplantations, and the tea plant did not takecommercially. In 1869, a parasitecompletely destroyed the coffeeplantations allowing the island to becovered with tea.At that time, the island was called Ceylon,it’s name was changed in 1972. The use ofthe name Ceylon has stuck with teaproduced in Sri Lanka, which is now theworld's third largest producer.
Kenya: Tea was first introduced to Kenyaby the Caine brothers, with commercialproduction starting in 1924.Tea produced in Kenya is generally soldas part of blended teas, especially used tomake tea bags.
Taiwan: Like Sri Lanka and Ceylon,Taiwan retains its old name of Formosawhen it comes to tea production. Teaproduction was minimal in Taiwan untilthe rise of the Communist party in 1949,when production exploded.
Tea Preparation
Simply, Tea is made by steeping leaves inhot water. This is traditionally madeeither by placing loose leaves directly intoa tea cup or pot or by using a Tea Infuseror modernly by using Tea Bags. Freshlyboiled water is then poured over the tealeaves, and the tea is allowed to steep (or'brew').
After a few minutes, the leaves are separatedfrom the liquid either by removing the teabag / tea infuser, or by straining the tea as itis poured. Increasing the strength of the teashould be done by increasing the amount oftea that is used, rather than increasing thetime that the tea is allowed to brew for.For best results, do ensure that the tea cup orpot have been warmed using hot waterbefore adding the tea and water, in order toensure that the water is not too quicklycooled by the cup or pot before brewing thetea.Water should always be boiled, as the boilingprocess reduces the amount of dissolvedoxygen in the water. The optimum brewing time andtemperature depend on the type of tea.Teas that are higher in tannins are normallyserved stronger with milk such as Oolong,black and post-fermented teas, which softensthe flavours of the tannins. Teas withflavours that are more delicate, such as whiteand green teas, are brewed at lowertemperatures for shorter periods of time, inorder to ensure that the delicate flavours arenot overpowered by the tannins. These arenot served with milk.
It is difficult to overestimate the spread oftea across the world, or to overstate theimportance of this infusion and itssignificance to the world's population. Forthe Perfect Gentleman, it is surely ascomplex a topic as wine, and knowledge ofsome of the peculiarities of tea, its origins,and its surrounding cultures are a sure signof a cultured individual.
Remember #EverythingStopsforTea
Sporting Gentleman
32
The ability to defend yourself and your loved
ones is important. It’s a vital facet of being a
gentleman. Skill in managing confrontations
and the risk of violence is, to my mind at
least, essential.
Violence and crime are not, however the most
common risks we face. As civilised men in
most of the world we are far more at risk of
ill-health and a lack of fitness. This is why the
first of these articles on defence for the
modern gentleman starts here.
In most industrialised countries men most
commonly die of heart disease, cancer, stroke,
diabetes and liver disease. For young men the
most common are car accidents, suicide and
accidental poisoning. In other words we tend
to die of unhealthy lifestyles and mental
illness. This means we need to look at
combating these issues before we worry about
learning to fight.
Luckily, the solution is straightforward and
requires only minor lifestyle changes. To
reduce the risk of these illnesses we need to
make a few healthier choices - exercise a little
more, eat a little better and drink a little less.
All of us have heard these messages before,
but it’s perhaps surprising how little effort
they take. It can start as simply as parking a
little further from the office, or getting off the
bus a stop earlier. Taking the stairs once a day
or going for a walk at lunch time. Playing
sport is a great way to exercise, especially if,
like me, you loathe the gym. Team games can
make getting a workout fun, and if you have
the opportunity dancing is great exercise.
Eating more healthily is similarly easy. Whilst
it is easy to get caught up in fad diets and
conflicting advice, the simplest to follow is
Michael Pollen’s: “Eat food. Not too much.
Mostly plants”. By all means eat pizza and
chocolate, but try and cut down a little. Have
more vegetables and a little less fast food.
Think about if you’re actually hungry or
eating because you’re bored, upset or tired.
It’s also surprising how much exercise and
diet can help your mental health. It’s
important to take care of this, just as much as
it is your physical, and helping one with help
the other. Sports and dancing give physical
and social contact, both of which are great for
improving mental health.
THE KEYSTO DEFENCE
by James Marwood
Sporting Gentleman
33
Taking a class at the gym or a dojo can
likewise lead to great friendships. Even
something as simple as taking a walk for
30-40 minutes will reduce cortisol levels in
the body, aiding sleep and reducing the
negative effects of stress. It is also one of the
best non-drug treatments for mild to
moderate depression.
Future articles will talk more about self
defence, martial arts and being safer, but ill
health is much more likely to cause you
problems than violence or crime. Tackling
these issues first will have a bigger impact,
and will make the later look at martial arts
and self defence easier.
A Gentleman Talks with
35
A Gentleman Talks is our series of one to one interviews with Ladies and Gentleman about their
life, work and influences, all within the framework of our mission to make the world a more
respectful stylish and gentlemanly place.
Our first guest, is a true Lady and is a fabulous one at that, the fun, indomitable and truly
infectious Jane Malyon. She is the founder and Chief Scone Gnome and the delightful English
Cream Tea Company.
Zach had the most wonderful time interviewing Jane, we covered topics as diverse as Pet
Lobsters, Canada, Full Contact Karate, Unruly Children, Walnut Whip and the proper way to
say Scone. Sometimes an hour is just too short, and that was especially true with Jane, though
we managed to pack a whole heap in our conversation.
JANE MALYON
A Gentleman Talks with
36
We end each interview with 10 questions, which we ask every guest. These are graciously
modeled on James Lipton’s questions from Inside the Actors Studio.
Click on the Below for the Full Interview
Cultural Gentleman
38
As much as we love cities, they can be noisy,distracting places. It is good to find little oasesof quiet and calm. Places where you can findspend time relaxing and reinvigorating. This iswhere one of London’s hidden gems shines.
The Wallace Collection is a private museum,located in a grand square just behind OxfordStreet. By contrast to that busiest of shoppingcentres it is calm, elegant and welcoming.
The Collection is famous for it’s art, potteryand furniture. Perhaps most recognisable areHals’ 1624 masterpiece The Laughing Cavalierand Fragonard’s sensual rococo masterpieceThe Swing. You should make a point of seeingthese when you visit. It also has a largecollection of ceramics and one of the world’sten most important collections of 18th and19th century French furniture. This latter hasseveral items by André-Charles Boulle. He wasthe greatest of the French cabinet makers, andthe artistry and craftsmanship on displayshows why.
These take up the top floor of HertfordHouse, the grand house where the collectionis displayed, and the gloriously large roomsshow these to great effect. However it is theground floor that has the most of interest.This being the home of one of the largestcollections of Arms and Armour on displayin Europe.
The Collection contains a variety of unusualitems from India and Persia. Cases full ofexotic swords and knives alongsidefantastically intricate and seemingly delicatearmour. Each of these is catalogued inleather bound books dotted around thecollection and it is worth looking up items ofinterest.
As well as these exotic items there are a largecollection of Italian renaissance arms, such asbroad cinqueda daggers and long rapiersjostling with a variety of northern Europeanswords and poll-arms. For those with aninterest in history and martial arts this allowsfor fascinating comparisons.
by James Marwood
Cultural Gentleman
39
Each of the several rooms in the arms andarmour collection showcases several sets ofharness, the full armour one associated withEuropean knights and men-at-arms. Moststrikingly a mounted figurine dominates oneroom, with both rider and horse sportingbeautiful 15th century German armour.
The Wallace Collection frequently puts hostsevents and the Arms and Armour curator,Tobias Capwell often collaborates with expertsand martial artists to show the collection innew and unusual ways. There are alsofrequent lectures and demonstrations whichallow for more than just browsing.
The Collection is also home to a verypleasant restaurant, although it can getrather busy. Those with limited time orwanting something less formal wouldprobably do better to visit one of the smallercafes nearby.
The Wallace Collection is in ManchesterSquare, just behind the Selfridgesdepartment store. It is a short walk fromBond Street underground station on theCentral and Jubilee lines. It can also bereached by the number 13 and 139 busroutes, via the Wigmore Street/OrchardStreet stop. Entry is free, although donationsare requested.
Cultural Gentleman
40
I first encountered this movie one afternoon,from my sick bed as a child and it justcaptured me. This is a 1934 film starringWilliam Powell & Myrna Loy, they were boththe huge stars of the period. The film is basedon the Dashiell Hammett novel of the samename.
The Plot is very simple, Nick Charles is aretired detective who has married Nora, awealthy socialite. They come to New Yorkfrom their home in San Francisco for theholidays, where Nick gets asked to solve thecase of a missing ‘Thin Man’ by his daughter.Along with murders & clues and the finalreveal at a dinner party, the movie is full ofwitty one liners, a plethora of Martinis and anamazing charm between the two leads.
It was one of the most popular movies of itstime, nominated for 4 oscars and yet it wasmade as inexpensive ‘B-Picture’ shot in lessthan two weeks, with the director shootingscenes without letting the actors know that thecameras were rolling!
The thing that shone like a diamond, was theappeal of the two stars. This chemistrybetween the pair was so strong that it spawned5 further sequels over the next decade or so.Indeed, William Powell said of Myrna Loy -“When we did a scene together, we forgotabout technique, camera angles, andmicrophones. We weren't acting. We were justtwo people in perfect harmony.”
by Zach Falconer-Barfield
Cultural Gentleman
41
Indeed one show was explicitly based on themovie and that was the 70s show ‘Hart toHart’. The handsome & wealthy couple getinvolved as amateur sleuths but what alwaysmakes the show is its witty banter and thestrength of their relationship.
But it can be seen in modern format in the TVshow ‘Castle’, the roles have been reversed,she is the detective and he is the wealthyflippant novelist. But the banter & therelationship remain.
These are just two highlights of therelationship that spawned a thousandimitators but you should try and watch theoriginal. Indeed, the movie itself is a classic ofit’s period and still holds up today we highlyrecommend a viewing.
Available through Amazon, other onlineStores & digitally.
The Perfect Lady
42
Do you know the difference between wooing
and seduction?
You may argue that they are one and the same
but they most certainly are not. While both are
concerned with attracting, the key difference lies
in the results you achieve. Namely, getting the
girl or indeed girls. Like any great craft, the art
of Wooing needs to be learnt and nurtured so
that you will eventually be the master.
So what is the difference between Wooing and
Seduction?
According to an on-line dictionary, Seduction
seems to be an act which just has one thing in
mind, sex. The one night stand which will
achieve a quick erotic high and then… what?
Dissatisfaction and frustration at not having the
‘toy’ available to play with anymore.
So you go in search of another lady, you seduce
her and the whole frustrating and dissatisfying
cycle starts again. Moreover, the lady or ladies
you have seduced will probably be hurt or even
worse for you, she will look back and think ‘who
was that chap? I can’t even remember him!’
Now tell me gentlemen, do you want to be
remembered by a lady or do you want to be
forgotten? I have no doubt that you want to be
remembered. But remembered in a way which
will make her feel good and, furthermore, that
will improve your reputation as she tells her
friends about you.
You will soon be known as the Perfect
Gentleman and not just be surrounded by all the
ladies but adored by them.
This is where wooing enters the scene. As the
dictionary says; wooing is more about affection
and the thrill of the chase and about you
yourself feeling good about it.
It is about that ancient and yet very modern art,
the art of courtly love.
The art studied and practiced by the
troubadours, knights and warriors of the past
where they would sally forth to fight an enemy
in order to win a maiden’s hand.
These men were gentle and men; gentlemen,
who were artists but also warriors. They were
specialists in their craft – wooing and
enchanting ladies. Making them feel good whilst
feeling very good about themselves. They were
Perfect Gentlemen.
So why does a woman like to be wooed?
Here, I draw on my own ideas about why I think
a woman likes to be wooed, I believe that it is
more masculine and civilized when a man woos
a lady. The idea of the warrior battling obstacles
to get to paradise (the lady) springs to mind. I
also believe that wooing makes a lady feel
appreciated because of all the effort and care
that has been put into the act by the gentleman.
It indicates that an attentive and loving man is
interested in me, as the lady, and who is looking
forward to my company rather than just my
body. Through this effort of caring and
attentive acts, I, as the lady feel pampered and
loved. And let’s face it ladies – we love to be
pampered in every respect.
So, is wooing a skill or an art a Gentleman
should learn? Absolutely! It is both a skill and an
art because any art starts off as a skill which can
be taught by a teacher. The art emerges when
the pupil becomes the master and adds his own
style and personality to the skill.
So Gentlemen, if you are a master of the art of
wooing, then you really are a ‘Perfect
Gentleman’.
Why the Art of Wooing is Important
by Lorella McDonald
Credits
Editor: Zach Falconer-Barfield
Contributors: James Marwood; Ruairidh Bulger; Lorella McDonald; Zach Falconer-
Barfield
Images & Pictures: Wallace Collection, MGM, Carolee-Falconer-Barfield or as noted
A Gentleman Talks Video Production: Peter Ferris Entertainment
Music: Andy Nichol
Layout & Design: The Perfect Gentleman Group Limited
Advertising & Sales: enquiries@theperfectgentleman.tv
Published by The Perfect Gentleman Group Limited - All Rights Reserved
www.theperfectgentleman.tv
our next issue isout
5th April
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