the marmite alphabetacy 17

Wee Dangerous Spike remains Fion’s very best friend. They have a strange friendship because they’re both so fiery. They fight and when they aren’t fighting they’re punching each other but they’re unbelievably close.

Ysabell: Fiyero, why do you think my mother left me with you?Fiyero: Dad says that she didn’t want to risk anything happening to you.Ysabell: like what?Fiyero: Well she’s a powerful witch, we don’t know what she did but she managed to seriously upset the Sisterhood of the Silver Raccoon somehow.

Ysabell: Is she...evil?Fiyero: No! Everyone in our family knows the truth behind the horrible rumours the Sisterhood started. She only ever tried to help people, but it didn’t always work. But Uncle Casper’s only here today because of your Mum!Ysabell: So she’s not so evil that water can melt her?Fiyero: Don’t be silly. Who told you that one?Ysabell: The kids at school. But it’s so hard! Everyone talks about ‘the wicked witch’ and I can’t even defend her in case someone fund out that she’s my...Fiyero: I know. But Elphaba wanted you to be safe and this is how it has to be. But we know the truth and that’s what matters.

The twins are about to say their first words. I wonder if they will reveal anything about their personalities.

Frodo: googoo, gaagoo...ALIENS!

Fion: gaaagoooo...SMELLOSCOPE!

Having already got Billie Joe on board, Fiyero explained his plans for a band to Wee Dangerous Spike and Screaming Lord Thomas.

WDS: Well you can count me in. I do love to hit things, especially my drum kit. Fiyero: Great! How about you Tom?SLT: Sure. I’ve been waiting for something like this to happen for ages. Being the child of a spare is dull. WDS: So what about a band name?Ahem. What about ‘troll in the dungeons’?Fiyero: hmmm, I like it. It seems familiar somehow...

Does it really? *cough *cough* Got to go BYE!

And the band was born. Before long they had regular gigs at the Llama lounge. Billie Joe plays bass, Wee Dangerous Spike’s on the drums, Fiyero plays guitar and naturally...

Screaming Lord Thomas does most of the vocals. He does all the screamy/shouty bits...

And the more melodic parts are sung by Fiyero whilst SCT takes over the guitar.

Ariel is of course always in the crowd supporting her boyfriend’s band.

Although, you get some dodgy folks in the crowd. You’re looking particularly evil today Unsavoury Charlatan. UC: Why thank you. But actually I’m here off the clock. No trickery for me today. I’m just here for the music.Wow, I’m impressed. Do you-UC: *gasp* That woman’s wearing a purse hanging by a mere spaghetti string! Maybe I can mix work and pleasure after all...

Daphne and Elendil were definitely proud of Fiyero. He clearly had real talent, but he hadn’t mentioned anything about University yet and they were concerned that he was making a mistake.

Elendil: I want to show you something Fiyero. I know that you’re really into you band and things seem to be working out well but-Fiyero: I’m not giving up on my band and going to Uni Dad.Elendil: I’m not asking you to.

Elendil: You can study music at Uni you know and the music scene at Shiz U is amazing.

E: I should know. Back when I was at Uni me and your uncle Elijah were in the biggest band on campus. We actually had lots of interest from record labels.F: And you gave that all up?E: Well yes. We both had dreams to follow. I wanted to work in the SCIA and Elijah had wanted a toy shop since he was a teen.

E: What I’m trying to say is that University could actually really help your music career. I’m pretty sure Casper and Eeyore will want Billie Joe to go to Uni, and Elijah & Brooke will want their kids to go too. Ariel will definitely be going. Think about it, all of you together...You’ll have a great time.F: You know, I think you’re right Dad. Thanks.

F: “Well if you wanted honesty that’s all you had to say. I never want to let you down or have you go it’s better off this way, for all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took. Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor. I’m noooot okay. I’m not okaaaaay...”

I’M NOT OK (I PROMISE)- MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

“I’m not okay ay ay. You wear me out.”

“What will it take to show you that it’s not the life it seems? I told you time and time again, you sing the words but don’t know what it means to be a joke and look, another line without a hook. I held you close as we both shook ,for the last time take a good hard look...”

After the show, Fiyero talked to Billie Joe about the future.F: I’m serious Billie Joe, we could be so huge! I mean we really seem to reach people and there’s nothing like the feeling you get when you’re on stage is there? Once we do some serious touring and build up a fan base...

BJ: And then you marry Ariel and we all live happily ever after?

F: Pretty much.BJ: Well hear she is! The future Mrs Fiyero-F: SSSSSSHHHHH!Ariel: Hey guys! Sorry Billie I didn’t catch that.BJ: Oh it’s nothing.

A: you were great today!F: thanks.

BJ: So are you in on Fiyero’s big University plans too?A: Yeah! Aren’t you?BJ: Yeah, it should be fun, plus it keeps my parents happy.

F: It’s you and me to the end right babe?A: Sure is!

BJ: Well this is awkward...

Fion and Frodo grow more irresponsible with each day. Fion: Yeh cannae catch meh yeh ken. Frodo: We’ll see about that... AHA!

Frodo: OW! OW! OW!Fion: Yeh cannae get oot o’thisun. Frodo: Let’s go again. You knw what they say: 23rd time’s the charm.

It’s lucky that Ysabell has grown up so that there’s somehow to keep an eye on them.

She also helps out a lot with Farsnworth and Firenze.

Fion: Hehehe, they dinnae hide this verra well- Frodo: What’s that you’ve go there?

Fion: A wee dram o’whisky.

Frodo: Gimme gimme gimme! *glug glug glug*

Later...Fion: Aww, he cannae handle his liquor.

Frodo: Urgh, how much did I have?Fion: I dunnae ken. Hmm, I swigged doon 2,3,4 bottles ...then the sec’nd case... So yeh mustae had 2 drams.Frodo: Urgh... You can’t be totally sober still.Fiyero: Yeh ken so do yeh?

Fion: Whatduya ken now?Frodo: All I ken is that I’m gonna throw up!

Ysabell: ...so then the llama stops the car and says to Goopy: “That’s not my beachball!”. And then the bird flew away!

This is an example of one of the methods Ysabell uses to distract adults while Fion and Frodo sneak out...

...and back in again. It’s just easier for everyone if they don’t know what they’re up to.She also helps cleans up Frodo’s sick and hides Fion’s empty bottles. It takes serious amounts of alcohol give Fion a hangover. The only person who can rival her ability to drink is Wee Dangerous Spike and they make a fortune in bar bets drinking fully grown men under the table. They also get into a fair amount of fights that way but this makes the evening more lively for them.

Elendil: That story was hilarious! I did not see that bit about the pencil sharpener coming! You know, I’m really glad that your mother trusted us with you.Ysabell: Yeah, about that, she didn’t happen to mention who my Dad is did she?Elendil: Oh, I’m afraid she didn’t. But I bet he’s someone special. I mean Elphaba always had fussy standards.Ysabell: *sigh* Thanks anyway.

Guess who these cuties are. That’s right! Farnsworth and Firenze are children now! I thought it was time to bring out Elendil’s cute nerdy genes.

Farnsworth: Good news everyone! I have almost completed my highly dangerous, superhuman- ARGH!

F: Why does it keep rejecting this code?

F: this wouldn’t happen if I had proper funding. “Too young” they said! *muttermutter* Sweet zombie Jesus! I’m going to have to start all over again!Aww, hard luck Farnsworth.

F: Eh Wha? Who said that?Um, me, y’know, the voice, the creator etcetera.F:Mysterious bodyless voice... How ridiculous! Well, thank you for your sympathy talking ceiling tile.

Y: why aren’t you in bed yet?F: I heard some strange noises from outside! There’s a crumple horned snorkack out there!Y: You’re sure about this?F: Yes!Y: *sigh* Okay then...

Yup, Firenze is a die hard quibbler fan and already King of Conspiracy theories. He loves to use his Dad’s spy equipment to listen for alien transmissions.

Ysabell; Just leave me alone!Joe: Or what freakabell? You’ll zap me?Y; I don’t know what you’re talking about!J: Sure you do.

J: Everyone says strange things happen around you. Like that time Jez and Fred were chasing you and you somehow got onto the school roof. People say you move things with your mind.Come on! Use your ‘powers’.

This is what pretty much every day is like for Ysabell. Even if she didn’t have silver hair and very strange things didn’t happen around her, her intelligence and logical nature would make sure she didn’t fit in with her rowdy, boorish classmates. But this was just too much. The anger was flooding her system. There was too much emotion, Ysabell felt her body begin to tingle...

J: hey! How are you doing that? What the-Ysabell seemed to lose all control over her actions. Her voice changed, deepening into the raw rumble of thunder. Her features rippled, growing thinner and deathly pale. With a further boom, black lines flashed across her right cheek and her eyes darkened. They seemed to draw all light into them and yet not a speck of it could be seen within them. Y: LISTEN TO ME BOY. AVO THANO RÛTH VI GÛR ALFIRIN. LASTO LALAITH NÍN!

J: Ow! My skin, it’s...I fell *collapses*

Ysabell rose into the air as the eerie glow continued. Joe was unable to move.Y: Á RUCË, Á NURTA!

Y: LEAVE NOW AND NEVER TROUBLE ME AGAIN.

As soon as he was able, Joe fled as fast as he could. He certainly would never trouble Ysabell again but unfortunately for her, Elendil had arrived just in time to catch the end of the scene.

Elendil: you understand that this can never happen again? We’re just lucky that he’s too terrified to tell anyone!

Y: I’m sorry. It’s like someone else was acting through me. I couldn’t control...E: I know. It’s not your fault. You’ve clearly inherited some of Elphaba’s power.Y: I just can’t control it. Maybe I should ask a witch-

E: Definitely not! That’s how your mother got into trouble. You’ll have an normal life and you’ll be safe just like I promised her.

Firenze: Still nothing... I’ll try changing the frequency... OH. MY. GOULASH.

Daphne: I know it sounded like an alien transmission honey, but I doubt that you could pick one of those up with that old piece o’ junk. Dobby: Firenze probably just picked up an obscure radio station. Dobby remembers when she used to work at 1045 FM radio cheesecake. Dobby was quite the-

Firenze: I’m telling you, this was the real thing. It was Lur, the ruler of Omicron Persei 8 and he was rowing with his wife Ndnd . They were watching ‘Friends’ and Lur didn’t see why Ross (as the largest male) didn’t just eat they other members of the tribe...

Firenze’s dream is to be abducted by aliens. Spotted anything strange yet Firenze?F: No, just Fion.

Fion: “...And after all, you’re my wonderWAAaaLL!”Sheesh, drunk or not, there’s no excuse for that kind of singing.Fion: Ach, stick it up yer trakkans! If I wernae soo razzled I’d Gie you sich a kickin'! ...

Far away from Fion’s drunken wailing, Ysabell sat deep in thought.

Kennedy: hey kid! You can’t stay out here all night you know. Ysabell: I know, I’m sorry it’s just...

K:*sits down* Come in then. Tell me what happened. You can trust me.Y: Are those fangs? K: Yes, but don’t worry. I just stopped by a college party and... caught a bite to eat with some seriously off their head students so I’m not even peckish. Say, are you Elphaba’s daughter?

Y: Yes! How did you know?K: I knew your Mum and I met you when you were a baby. When you’ve been around as long as I have you never forget a face.Y: Wow. I don’t suppose you can tell me who my Dad is can you?

K:think carefully Kennedy, think... You don’t want to freak her out with the truth!Y: Hello?

K: No. I can’t tell you who he is I’m afraid.Nicely phrased Ken.Y: Oh. K: But I bet I can guess what’s upsetting you. They don’t understand you do they? I bet some weird stuff happens around you and it’s not your fault. Y: well yeah!

K: You aren’t like them Ysabell. The mundanes and the muggles will never really understand or accept you. But if you ever think you might want to find a world that does then give me a call. Y: But I don’t know your number.K: Oh it’s written on the walls of most downtown bathrooms. You’ll find me listed as “Crazyfangs”. Y: Thanks but I think I’ll stay with my family.K: Ok, but we’re your family too. Remember that.

Hoorah! I’m up to date at last! University here we come. I thought I’d end with this picture. Anyone who’s seen LOTR should get a little giggle out of it and if you’re anything like me, you’ll b e rolling around on the floor laughing hysterically.