the gifts of imperfection

The Gifts of Imperfection:Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be

and Embrace Who You Are

2014 JANUARY #BookCLUB Love Learning Empowerment

“I learned about the inextricable connection between joy and gratitude and how things I take for granted, like rest and play,

are vital to our health as nutrition and exercise.”

What’s on Your List?

DO Worthiness Rest Play Trust Faith Intuition Hope Authenticity Love Joy Gratitude Creativity

DON’T Perfection Numbing Certainty Exhaustion Self-sufficiency Being cool Fitting in Judgment Shame Entitlement Scarcity

Healthy Striving:•Self-focused•How can I improve?

Perfectionism:•Other focused•What will they think?

Worthiness

• Worthiness is not entitlement.“I deserve this just because I want it.”

• Worthiness is agency.“I know I’m valuable just because I am.”

“How much we know and understand ourselves is critically important, but there is something that is even more

essential to living a wholehearted life: loving ourselves.”

I AM

Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness.

It is a process.

Brave

Enough

Imperfect

Vulnerable

Sometimes Afraid

To be brave is to sometimes say, “I don’t know.”

Gifts of Imperfection Tools:

• Courage

• Compassion

• Connection

Tools Summary: Courage & Compassion

• “The root of the word ‘courage’ is ‘cor’ – the Latin word for heart.”– Original meaning of courage

“To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.”

• Compassion– Are you kind but firm?– Less angry and more accountable?– Blame less and more respect for boundaries?

Tools Summary: Connection

“Fitting in gets in the way of belonging; belonging doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.”

Thoughts to Ponder

• “We can only love others as much as we love ourselves.”

• “Practicing self-love means learning how to trust ourselves, to treat ourselves with respect and to be kind and affectionate toward ourselves.”

• “True belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”

Authenticity• “Authenticity is not something we have or don’t have. It’s a

practice – a conscious choice of how we want to live daily.”

• “The choice to show up and be real, the choice to be honest, the choice to let our true selves be seen; rather than fitting in and people pleasing.”

• “Choosing authenticity means cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable.”

• “Sometimes being real over being liked is all about playing it unsafe.”

Are You Willing to Fight?

Shame• “Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal and the withholding of

affection damage the roots which love grows.”

• “Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.”

• “When we experience shame, we feel disconnected and desperate for worthiness.”

• Difference between shame and guilt:o Guilt = I did something bad. (behaviors)o Shame = I am bad. (who we are)

Priorities

Set new boundarieso 10 Ways to Build and Preserve Boundaries

Let go of the need to: o Pleaseo Performo Perfect

Exhausted or Overwhelmed?

• Create deliberate thoughts

• Make new and different choices

• Take action

DIG deeper(get deliberate, get inspired, get going)

“An invitation to join a wholehearted revolution.”

“Revolution might sound a little dramatic, but in this world, choosing authenticity and worthiness is an absolute act of resistance.”

“Choosing to live and love with our whole hearts is an act of defiance.”

All are welcome to join!

The Gifts of Imperfection:Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be

and Embrace Who You Are

Embrace yourself today!

Love Learning Empowerment

ENJOY!

Want to join our 2014 #BookCLUB?