simon pellew time for families strengthening relationships 1

Simon PellewTime for Families

Strengthening Relationships

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Young People’s relationshipsRelationships matter because:It affects mental healthIt affects where they liveIt affects re-offending (perhaps)

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Mental HealthExamined 276 boys in prison in South CaliforniaFound they adjusted to prison life, and depression

went down.Adjustment much faster if they had visits (and the

more the better)Adjustment much faster if their relationship with

their parents was goodOther relationships not much impact

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Relationships key to desistanceIn UK, 411 men tracked since 1961. Marriage reduces offending and marriage

breakdown increases risk of offending (by 44%)

In USA a study of 500 delinquent boys, from mid-1940s until they were 70.

Marriage reduces risk of crime by 35% (this may apply to stable cohabitation as well)

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Why do relationships have an impact?

Men need to be committedWomen control time and friendshipsMen have less timeChange in male self-image – changing from a “lad” to a “family man” New social networks

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It is not how many beers you have, it’s who you drink with that matters.

Wife of a man who desisted from crime after she insisted he switch drinking venues

Impact of Building Stronger Families

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Key MessagesStable relationships – avoid negatives (STOP signs)Happy relationships – promote positives (Love

Languages)ForgivenessHow to have a row

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Stop doing STOPScoring pointsThinking the worstOpting outPutting down

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Love LanguagesQuality TimeGiftsThoughtful ActsWordsPhysical Touch

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CommitmentSlide or DecideCognitive or Emotional commitment

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ForgivenessBig issue – few (or reality) of affairsIt hurtsRed – Amber – Green for the relationship

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ImplicationsRelationships are important Can be strengthenedMay cut re-offending ratesMay help with Restorative Justice

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