shallow spaces

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Shallow Spaces is the final project of my journey here in Holland. It was a challenge to tell the story of a one year exchange in a few pages. More than autobiographical, I consider Shallow Spaces a graphic novel about an individual perception of reality once I felt living inside a comic narrative. A classic narrative, with a beginning, middle and end, where I met new characters that presented me new questions that induced me to change as the main character. Missing almost two months to go back to Brazil, I feel that I completed my story here. I hope that, somehow, it also completes the reader.

TRANSCRIPT

Excuse me, sir.

Would you like some tea

or coffee?

Sorry. What?

Would you like some tea

or coffee, sir?

Hm... Yes?

Tea or coffee?

chapter one

Once you step on it,

you realize...

The far away is also touchable.

It would be like walking into an image. But besides the visual,

the mind also creates the sound...

Even so, somehow you know...

that it’s all your imagination.

Molenstraat 36

the cold...

Excuse me, how can

I get to Molenstraat?

the smell...

As soon as I got in house, I already felt some kind of nostalgia.

ready to be filled up with memories,

waiting for a happy end and sad goodbyes.

Some charming

empty spaces,

I have always lov

ed

these lights.

The table was

cleaner than ever.

There is somethingabout this moose...

But who are you?

I am the spirit of your house.

I am Mr. Molenstraat.

Did you hear it? Your new housemates

are coming.

Yo! Nice to meet you!

I’m Chris.

Try to hold it like this, you see?

Dope! I knew she would say yes!NOT IN MY HOUSE!

NOT IN MY HOUSE!Pedro, need to talk to you. I always like

your advices.

You’re like the guru of the house.

Do you smoke weed?

We’re family, bro.

Pedrooo, you’re the boss! Look at your jacket!

KNOCK KNOCK

Hello!

I’m Tom.

That is me? That’s great, Pedro!

“You’re only allowed to read it

after I leave.”

Nice to meet you, dude!

Don’t you ever push

people to use drugs on

my room! Hear me?!

The way you treat people, you’re so democratic!

There’s no way,

dude. I’m leaving on

February.

You know... I think Silva asked me out on a date.

Pedro, you’re from Brazil, right?

How it works there?

Pedro, we have no sugar, ok?

Yes. My tea, I like

with sugar. Please.

No man, the sugar

is over! No sugar!

What’s your favorite kind

of music?

First time

in Europe?

How come you got to Den Haag?

What kind of art do you do?

When they ask too many questions...

And you don’t even know the right answers...

It is like starting out of nothing.

Nobody knows

me here.

Maybe let the beard grow.

I can be whoever

I want to be.

No fear of changes.

My head looks different I hope it is not

only appearance.

This is the

fundamental concept of the sign. The sign for Peirce is anything that is another thing

to another something or someone.

So the reality is what would be the final

representation of the object set of all representations of those

who share the meaning.

The reality is a social

construction.

The reality is

necessarily a process of abstraction. It can only be

described after compliance with the logical process of abstraction through mainly

the sharing of meaning.

Individually we do not have the ability

to produce abstract knowledge sufficient to ensure a representation

of reality. We need a set of united interpretants in the same experience based on aesthetics, emerging from a

common sense of convergence.

And so from this common phenomenology of the world we share and communicate our findings and building a

knowledge that will gradually approach of what we expect, one

day, to be the reality.

“It’s only a hope.”

WTF?!

How did I get home?

Where is the party?

You see?? You got the Zeus sign!

Are you ok Pedro?

Fuck! Am I

still high?

What have

I done?

Fuck! Am I thinking in English or in Portuguese?

Fuck!

What’s

happen

ing?

I can’t

]

think!

“Peirce says that there is no single truth. The truth only has real value if it is a collective

construction.”

“Individually none of us can be sure if we are

dreaming or living reality.”

“If we are hallucinating or awake.”

Am I still here?

chapter two

In the same way I was free to be whoever I wanted to be, I was free to do whatever I wanted to do.

So Pedro, what're your working on?

Well, I'm really interested in comics and graphic novels.

Since I got here, I've started this project

called Sketch Diary, where I tell my exchange

experiences.

It's like everyday I try to draw what

happened in the present day.

Then every two months I have a short comic book that I publish

online.

You should bring this into your work here in the studio.

Yeah, I was thinking about that. But I'm

not sure.

I think it would be

too much...

Narcissist, you know?

Welcome everyone. My work is kinda of single

pages comics stories.

They are mostly about short

moments, about people, about storytelling...

I also have my Sketch Diaries, they are drawings of my everyday life. It’s a way for me to enjoy my time here

as an exchange student as much as I can, because I can only make interesting drawings if I live interesting stuff first.

Well, I think that's all.

Hope you enjoy

it.

Well...

Every artist is a storyteller. When

you say that's about storytelling, it means

nothing! It also sounds a little bit commercial,

too obvious. The viewer wants

to be amazed!

Here in the Academy we have a Fine Arts department, not an Illustration department.

No, wait! I do have a point! I swear!

It's better for you to start making a better profit

from Fine Arts.

I'm no artist.

What am I doing here?

I'm a fraud.

HELLO THERE!

WTF? Who are

you? I am the spirit of failure!

You can't hide from me! I'm everywhere, even in your own house!

There's a lot of me, but you...

you're all by yourself now!

C'mon! Tell me.

Are you an artist or a

mouse?

HA!HA!

HA!HA!

HA!

Of course Pollock is boring.

After they discovered that 2 plus 2 is 4

it became boring too.

“I want to merge my life and my art in order to give my life meaning.”

My parents watched a video in my portfolio, it was like... Ok, I know... you don't actually get it, right?

Well, actually... I also don't make this separation.

An art work speaks for itself, asks questions. An illustration

just gives you all the answers.

You see?

I dunno... For me it

means nothing.

They keep talking,

but it is just a

painting, y'know? Oh sorry. “Shallow” is kinda of a philosophical word for “empty”. Got it now?

When I think about Plato, the World of

Ideas...Sometimes I

can't get them into the real

concrete world.

It pisses me off.

Sometimes I think they

don't want “the beauty for

the beauty” so they make

“the ugly for the ugly”.

I was presenting my sculptures when

they looked at a trash pile behind me and

were like:

“Wow that's your work too? You should make more like

this!”. I mean... Am I stupid or what?

Pedro...

Monroe.

Your family is coming next week, right? Yes.

And how are you feeling?

Michele is not the story that I'm here

to tell.

But if this book was a fairy tale...

She would be the fairy.

And Jonas is my brother.

That's all I need to say about him.

And I think there's nothing he would say too.

Jonas, it's weird to see

you here.

Y' know? In my own house... Eating my food,

talking to Tom and Chris. Once you and

Michele saw all this, things seem different now.

Now I know I am not

esquizofrenic or something.

This world here became more

real in a way.

And sometimes, this feeling, it's

not so cool.

Let's go?

In the end, one month

passes as fast as four

pages.

And two chapters were not enough to live with someone

like Tom.

TOM fucking AUSTIN ladies and gentlemen! Can you believe it?

Goodbye mate.

I'll miss you dude.

Thank you!

Thank you.

I never wanted to go back in time. But if I

could at least...

make it pass more slowly...

Enjoy this one year in my own time...

Giving life a slower and more

careful look...

I always loved these lights.

Critical to the success of a visual narrative is the ability to convey time.

But the one thing that you have that nobody has is you. Your mind, your voice, your

story, your vision.

So write and draw and build and play and live as only you can. The moment that you feel that just possibly you're

walking on the street naked...

...exposing too much of your heart and your mind, what

exists on the inside showing too much of yourself...

That's the moment you may be starting to get it right.

It took some time for me to understand...

that making art...

is a sort of narcissism.

I am my own God.

RISE!

HAHA HA!

chapter three

After my last presentation, I've changed

my direction a little bit. Now I brought the

autobiographical issues from my Sketch Diaries

into my work in the studio. Then I started to make these big drawings.

The idea was to draw random

impressions from my routine.

I have realized the language of comics has the

power to transform time into space. Different from cinema, here the viewer is able to read

the sequences of images on his own time.

This way, by using myself as a subject,

I hope it's possible to make a visual knowledge

out of my life here.

This table also represents the enclosure of time, when you take

an object from daily life and put a frame

around it.

“I found it really clever. When you have different

frames together you create different layers

of meaning.”

“I like when sometimes

you lose the frame.

They are like vanishin

g

memories.”

“It was really

good for you to

draw bigger. Your

drawings expose

more of yourself.

Bravo!”

“You know exactly what

you're doing. It's very cl

ear

that you will become a

comic artist. But sometimes

we like you to make things

that you can't do.”

Yeah yeah

I know...

Fair enough.

Yeah but for

me this is not so

clear. So I have

to keep doing it,

y'know?

“Also I like the table, it was a good way to bring the enclosure of time into a 3D work.”

How much is it?

2,50 please.

Yo Mark!

Yo Pedro! How was your assessment?

It was pretty good actually. I think this

time I got it.

Now my next and final project will be a graphic novel. It seems like the next

step for me.

Dope! About what?

Like your Sketch

Diaries?

Kind of. But this time in colors and with more pages. I intend to be

more psychological too.Sick! Can't wait!

By the way, I bought

the chicken soup you asked me

for.

Chicken soup? Wtf?

Pedro, I had texted you for some

kitchen soap, man!

Hi Rachel.

What'up Pedro?

I thought you

had get back to

Brasil.

I think I've never totally come back.

My life here was so different. That release from our real life that

we feel in our life here.

You try and enjoy these last months. For me

they were gone so fast.Yeah... I'm

already missing this place.

I don't exactly miss it here. 'Cause everything

looks like a dream that I just woke up from.

And now...

I don't know exactly where to

put these memories in my mind.

And how is your graphic novel doing? I'm almost

finishing it. By the way, do you mind if I draw this

conversation?

I fucking love these lights.

Why? That is a good question. Why?

I don’t know. It's... It's the core of doing something like this.

It's an...

I'm a writer.

And I want to do it as good as I can,

almost at every cost. I mean...

If I could cut my left arm off to do a good novel, I would

do it.

Welcome everyone to my final

presentation. This second semester

I've done an autobiographical graphic novel, about my one year living

here.

Comics language has always been my main

interest while talking about time.

Since my exchange period is coming to an end, seeing myself as a character in a

comic book is a good way to deal with my twelve

months here.

Also I made a digital

version...

Then we can read it bigger, at the same time. I'm not sure if we have

enough time, but at least the first chapter.

Also some of the originals are on the wall, to show the process evolving.

Finally! Hello, Pedro! Sit here, we need

to talk. I'm worried about you, my dear.

These times I'm feeling a little bit

disconnected from you.

Yeah...I know. I haven't drawn you

in a long time.

But it's all good. I'm trying to be more autobiographical now.

A long time you haven't drawn me? What do you mean?

Yeah, y'know... One of my old

comics characters.

Oh my god... I knew you were going mad. All that messed

up thing about merging life

and art.

Wake up, Pedro! I've never been a

character of yours. It's YOU that are one of my characters.

What?

Yes, my dear. You're sort of my alter ego.

C'mon y'know...

I am an old lady, with some regrets. I've created you to live things that I've

never had time to do.

Am I not real? Are you kidding me? What about my family, my friends,

my graphic novel...

Fuck! Did you also create my graphic novel?

Graphic novel? No! I'm not a visual artist. I'm a writer. And this conversation is the end of my last book.

You're a writer...

Wait!

So, you're a

writer. You wrote

all of this.

Everything here is only words,

right?

Yep.

Even this floating

light over here? Did you also

write it?

No no...I don't know about it. I just described “a big dark room full of piles of books”.

No details.

Exactly!

We can only see the light because I drew it. I am the

one who fills the empty spaces in your mind.

Without me, your imagination is completely dark. If I don't

draw, you become as

unreal as me.

I see...

Okay, my dear. Perhaps I'm one of your

characters too...

Or I'm having a really weird existential crisis here.

Actually, I don't care that much.

You know that phrase?

It's like “If someone wrote it, it's real.”

So in the end... what's the difference?

Well... Okay.

Then... I'm real too.

I'm still here... right?

Yes, I'm still here.

Of every reality I could tell, I've chosen this one. And if you are reading it, I can feel a little

bit more life inside...

myself.

To my family and friends

Many thanks to Jonas, Paula and Ciências sem Fronteiras

PedroVó PedroVoh

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