scientiÞc w riting · why learn scientiÞc writing? n it is a scientist!s duty to write papers and...

Scientific Writing

Galen GislerPhysics of Geological Processes

University of Oslo

Why learn scientific writing?

n It is a scientist’s duty to write papers and share his/her knowledge.You haven’t done the work unless you’ve written it up!

n You will have to write a master thesis.

n You will want to write scientific articles.

You will be judged by what you write and how well you write it.

Writing is learned by writing.

n Practice, practice, practice.

n Choose good role models.

n Study good examples.

n But there are also techniques and rules to learn.

Source:Michael Alley

The Craft of Scientific WritingSpringer 1996, ISBN 0387-94766-3

http://www.writing.eng.vt.edu/

n Introduction to Scientific Writing

n Formatting Scientific Documents

n Structure

n Illustrations

n Word Choices

n Grammar

Scientific Writing:An Introduction

Writing Guidelines for Studentshttp://writing.eng.vt.edu/

The Craft of Scientific Writing3rd edition (Springer-Verlag, 1996)

This presentation discusses the importance of scientific writing and introduces key principles

Importance of Scientific Writing

[Report, 1986]

Importance of Scientific Writing Key Principles

audience

purpose

occasion

[Report, 1986]

How well you communicate affects your career

Survey (Richard M. Davis) Successful engineers spent 25% of work week writing

Survey (Virginia Tech) Recruiters claim that engineers need more work on their writing

Survey (Wisconsin) Professional engineers found writing their most useful subject in college

How well you communicate affects the well-being of others

Space Shuttle Challenger(January 28, 1986)

[Report, 1986]

How well you communicate affects the well-being of others

Space Shuttle Challenger(January 28, 1986)

Explosion was caused by failure of O-rings in the solid rocket boosters

Engineers knew of O-ring problems well before fatal launch

Engineers failed to communicate seriousness of problem

[Report, 1986]

Scientists and engineers are called upon to communicate in many different situations

ReportsArticlesProposalsWeb Pages

ConferencesLecturesMeetingsPosters

Scientists and engineers are called upon to communicate in many different situations

specifictechnical

audiencesnon-technical

audiences

generaltechnical

audiences

ReportsArticlesProposalsWeb Pages

ConferencesLecturesMeetingsPosters

Importance of Scientific Writing Key Principles

audience

purpose

occasion

[Report, 1986]

Scientific writing differs from other kinds of writing

Subject Matter

[Franklin, 1952]

Subject Matter Writing Constraints

audience

purpose

occasion

[Franklin, 1952]

audience

purpose

occasion

Purpose of Writing

To inform

To persuade

[Franklin, 1952]

audience

purpose

occasion

Purpose of Writing

To inform

To persuade

[Franklin, 1952]

Writing Style

[Peterson, 1987]

You should begin the writing process by analyzing your constraints

Purpose

Audience

Occasion

Purpose

Audience

Occasion

Who they areWhat they knowWhy they will readHow they will read

Purpose

Audience

Occasion

Purpose

Audience

Occasion

To informTo persuade

Purpose

Audience

Occasion

Purpose

Audience

Occasion

FormatFormalityPolitics and ethicsProcess and deadline

Three aspects of writing affect the way that readers assess your documents

Content

Style is the way you communicate the content to the audience

Structure

wordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswords

wordswordswords

wordswordswordswordswordswordswords

Languagestyle

Illustration

[Peterson, 1987]

Form embodies the format and mechanics of the writing

format

typography

layout

mechanics

grammar

punctuation

spelling

We can split the writing process into stages

Getting in the Mood

Writing the First DraftGetting in the Mood

Revising, Revising, Revising

Finishing

An excellent way to improve your writing is to choose good models

Maria Goeppert Mayer

Linus Pauling

Cal-Tech

Formatting Scientific Documents

In scientific writing, formats vary considerably to serve different situations

FormalReports

JournalArticles

FormalReports

JournalArticles

PresentationSlides

Not all rules of format are constant

ReportsSandia Laboratories

Figure 1

Table 1

equation 1

Figure 1

Table 1

equation 1

TextbooksPrentice-Hall

Fig. 1

Table 1

equation (1)

Figure 1

Table 1

equation 1

TextbooksPrentice-Hall

Fig. 1

Table 1

equation (1)

JournalsASME

fig. 1

table 1

Format is the arrangement of type on the page

typography

layout

Each typestyle has its own personality and power

Serif Sans Serif

Times New Romanabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz1234567890

Garamondabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz1234567890

Courierabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz1234567890

Serif Sans Serif

Arial BCGRSZabcdefghijklmnopqrstuwxyz1234567890

Helvetica BCGRSZabcdefghijklmnopqrstuwxyz1234567890

Comic Sans BCGRSZabcdefghijklmnopqrstuwxyz1234567890

Times New Romanabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz1234567890

Garamondabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz1234567890

Courierabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz1234567890

Serif Sans Serif

Avoid large blocks of capital letters

TYPE IS TO READ

Type is to read

TYPE IS TO READ

Type is to read

WORDS SET IN ALL CAPS USE MORE SPACE THAN TEXT SET IN LOWERCASE.

Words set in all caps use more space than words set in lowercase.

TYPE IS TO READ

Type is to read

WORDS SET IN ALL CAPS USE MORE SPACE THAN TEXT SET IN LOWERCASE.

Words set in all caps use more space than words set in lowercase.

TYPE IS TO READ

Type is to read

Morton-Thiokol’s presentation to NASA suffered because of all capital letters on the slides

Morton-Thiokol Presentation to NASAJanuary 27, 1986

PRIMARY CONCERNS -

FIELD JOINT - HIGHEST CONCERN

• EROSION PENETRATION OF PRIMARY SEAL REQUIRES RELIABLE SECONDARY SEAL FOR PRESSURE INTEGRITY

• IGNITION TRANSIENT - (0-600 MS) • (0-170 MS) HIGH PROBABILITY OF RELIABLE SECONDARY SEAL • (170-330 MS) REDUCED PROBABILITY OF RELIABLE SECONDARY SEAL • (330-600 MS) HIGH PROBABILITY OF NO SECONDARY SEAL CAPABILITY

• STEADY STATE - (600 MS - 2 MINUTES) • IF EROSION PENETRATES PRIMARY O-RING SEAL - HIGH PROBABILITY OF NO

SECONDARY SEAL CAPABILITY • BENCH TESTING SHOWED O-RING NOT CAPABLE OF MAINTAINING CONTACT WITH METAL PARTS GAP OPERATING TO MEOP • BENCH TESTING SHOWED CAPABILITY TO MAINTAIN O-RING CONTACT DURING INITIAL PHASE (0 - 170 MS) OF TRANSIENT

Morton-Thiokol’s presentation to NASA suffered because of all capital letters on the slides

Morton-Thiokol Presentation to NASAJanuary 27, 1986

PRIMARY CONCERNS -

FIELD JOINT - HIGHEST CONCERN

• EROSION PENETRATION OF PRIMARY SEAL REQUIRES RELIABLE SECONDARY SEAL FOR PRESSURE INTEGRITY

• IGNITION TRANSIENT - (0-600 MS) • (0-170 MS) HIGH PROBABILITY OF RELIABLE SECONDARY SEAL • (170-330 MS) REDUCED PROBABILITY OF RELIABLE SECONDARY SEAL • (330-600 MS) HIGH PROBABILITY OF NO SECONDARY SEAL CAPABILITY

• STEADY STATE - (600 MS - 2 MINUTES) • IF EROSION PENETRATES PRIMARY O-RING SEAL - HIGH PROBABILITY OF NO

SECONDARY SEAL CAPABILITY • BENCH TESTING SHOWED O-RING NOT CAPABLE OF MAINTAINING CONTACT WITH METAL PARTS GAP OPERATING TO MEOP • BENCH TESTING SHOWED CAPABILITY TO MAINTAIN O-RING CONTACT DURING INITIAL PHASE (0 - 170 MS) OF TRANSIENT

Choose a type size that is easy to read

48 point

36 point

24 point

18 point

14 point

12 point

10 point

8 point

posters

presentation slides

titles

footnotes

In your layouts, use white space for association, emphasis, and hierarchy

spaceformargins

space forillustrations

space forheadings

Follow the format that is expected or required for the situation

Structure: the Strategy of Style

Beginning

Ending

Middle

If a man can group his ideas, then he is a writer. Robert Louis Stevenson

Beginning

Ending

Middle

The organization of a scientific document can be viewed as a beginning, middle, and ending

TitleSummaryIntroduction

Beginning

Ending

Middle

Middle Sections

Beginning

Ending

Middle

Middle Sections

ConclusionsBack Matter

Beginnings prepare readers for understanding the work

Summary tells readers whathappens in document

Introduction prepares readersfor the middle

Title orients readers todocument

A strong title orients readers toyour area of work

Effects of Humidityon the Growth of Avalanches

A strong title orients readers toyour area of work

Effects of Humidityon the Growth of Avalanches

Effects of Humidityon the Growth

of Electron Avalanchesin Electrical Gas Discharges

A strong title also separates yourwork from everyone else's work

Studies on the Electrodeposition of Lead on Copper

A strong title also separates yourwork from everyone else's work

Studies on the Electrodeposition of Lead on Copper

Effects of Rhodamine-Bon the Electrodeposition

of Lead on Copper

Several names for summaries exist

Summary

Abstract

TechnicalAbstract

ExecutiveSummary

DescriptiveAbstract

InformativeAbstract

Although several names exist for summaries, there are essentially two approaches

This paper describes a new inertial navigation system for mapping oil and gas wells. In this paper, we will compare the mapping accuracy and speed for this new system against the accuracy and speed for conventional systems.

Descriptive

This paper describes a new inertial navigation system that will increase the mapping accuracy of oil wells by a factor of ten. The new system uses three-axis navigation that protects sensors from high-spin rates. The system also processes its information by Kalman filtering (a statistical sampling technique) in an on-site computer. Test results show the three-dimensional location accuracy is within 0.1 meters for every 100 meters of well depth, an accuracy ten times greater than conventional systems.

Informative

A document's introduction prepares readers for the discussion

Topic?

Introduction

Topic?Importance?

Introduction

Topic?Importance?

Introduction

Background?

Topic?Importance?

Introduction

Arrangement?Background?

The introduction defines the scopeand limitations of the work

Proposed Study on Effects of Alcohol

on Life Expectancy

Three classes of drinkers: non-drinkers moderate drinkers heavy drinkers

Ten-year study

Men surveyed

on Life Expectancy

Ten-year study

Men surveyed

limitations

on Life Expectancy

Ten-year study

Other effects,such as exercise,not considered

Medical historiesnot considered

Women may notexperience thesame effects

Men surveyed

limitations

A strong introduction tells readerswhy the research is important

This paper presents a design for a platinum catalytic igniter in hydrogen-air mixtures. This igniter has application in nuclear reactors. One danger at a nuclear reactor is a loss-of-coolant accident. Such an accident can produce large quantities of hydrogen gas when hot water and steam react with zirconium fuel rods. In a serious accident, the evolution of hydrogen may be so rapid that it produces an explosive hydrogen-air mixture in the reactor containment building. This mixture could breach the containment walls and allow radiation to escape. Our method to eliminate this danger is to intentionally ignite the hydrogen-air mixture at concentrations below those for which any serious damage might result.

importance

In the middle of a report, you present your work

Choose a logicalstrategy

Make sectionsand subsections

Heading Subheading SubheadingHeading Subheading Subheading SubheadingHeading

[Sandia, 1985]

Common strategies exist for the middles of scientific reports

Chronological

[Maizels, 2001]

Spatial

[Pratt & Whitney, 2000]

Common strategies exist for the middles of scientific reports

Parallel Parts

Corel Corporation

[Sandia, 1985]

Section headings should be descriptive and parallel

IntroductionBackgroundMarx GeneratorsLine PulseBeam GenerationTransporting BeamPelletsResultsConclusions

ParallelDescriptive

Introduction

Past Designs for Particle Beam Fusion

New Design for Particle Beam Fusion Charging Marx Generators Forming Line Pulse Generating Particle Beam Transporting Particle Beam Irradiating Deuterium-Tritium Pellets

Results of New Design

Conclusions and Recommendations

Section headings should be descriptive and parallel

Non-ParallelNon-Descriptive

IntroductionBackgroundMarx GeneratorsLine PulseBeam GenerationTransporting BeamPelletsResultsConclusions

ParallelDescriptive

Introduction

Past Designs for Particle Beam Fusion

New Design for Particle Beam Fusion Charging Marx Generators Forming Line Pulse Generating Particle Beam Transporting Particle Beam Irradiating Deuterium-Tritium Pellets

Results of New Design

Conclusions and Recommendations

When you divide a section into subsections, all the pieces should be of the same pie

New Design for Particle Beam Fusion

Charging Marx Generators

Generating Particle Beam

Pellets

Irradiating Deuterium-Tritium Pellets

Organization is hidden when headings occur in a long list without secondary headings

Performance ofthe Solar One Receiver

IntroductionSteady State EfficiencyAverage EfficiencyStart-Up TimeOperation TimeOperation During Cloud TransientsPanel Mechanical SupportsTube LeaksConclusion

Organization is hidden when headings occur in a long list without secondary headings

IntroductionSteady State EfficiencyAverage EfficiencyStart-Up TimeOperation TimeOperation During Cloud TransientsPanel Mechanical SupportsTube LeaksConclusion

IntroductionReceiver’s Efficiency Steady State Efficiency Average EfficiencyReceiver’s Operation Cycle Start-Up Time Operation Time Operation During Cloud TransientsReceiver’s Mechanical Wear Panel Mechanical Supports Tube LeaksConclusion

Many journal articles follow a set organization named IMRaD

Materials and Methods

Results

Discussion

Introduction

In a strong ending, you analyze resultsand give a future perspective

ConclusionsAnalysis of Results

Future Perspective

Analyze results from overall perspective

Future Perspective

Analyze results from overall perspective

Several options:Make recommendationsDiscuss future workRepeat limitations

Future Perspective

Use appendices to supply backgroundfor secondary audiences

Appendix AConcern About the Greenhouse Effect

For almost a hundred years, experts have been concerned with the increasing concentrations of gases such as carbon dioxide, methane, and nitrogen oxides in the earth's lower atmosphere. These gases are natural by-products of combustion. Figure A-1 illustrates the correlation between global temperature and carbon dioxide concentrations...

Use appendices to supply secondary or tangential information to primary readers

Appendix BProject Stormfury

In 1961, the United States Weather Bureau and the Department of Defense (Navy) began a project to reduce the strength of hurricanes. The project, called Project Stormfury, uses cloud seeding, a process used to produce rainfall and reduce hail in thunderstorms. In Project Stormfury, silver iodide crystals, similar in structure to ice, are dispersed by airplanes in the upper reaches of cloud formations just outside the hurricane's eye where the winds are highest. Initial results showed that wind speeds decreased between 15–30% after seedings...

Glossary

burst point: the exact point in space where an atomic bomb is detonated.

clear visibility: a viewing range of twenty miles.

fallout: the descent to the Earth's surface of radioactive particles from a cloud contaminated with the fission products of a nuclear explosion.

hypocenter: the point on the earth's surface directly below the burst point; also called ground zero.

For secondary readers, use a glossaryto define unfamiliar terms

Failing to cite the contribution of others can be a fatal flaw in your career

James Watson surreptitiously looked at Rosalind Franklin’s work

[Franklin, 1952]

Failing to cite the contribution of others can be a fatal flaw in your career

James Watson surreptitiously looked at Rosalind Franklin’s work

[Franklin, 1952]

Watson did not give enough credit to Franklin

[Luzzati, 1950]

Keep it as simple as possible, yet no simpler. Albert Einstein

Illustration:The Meshing of Words With Images

X-ray photograph of DNA [Rosalind Franklin, 1952]

Table 1. Reactor power levels in Chernobyl accident [Wolfson, 1991].

Date Time Power Level

4/25 1:00 am 3200 MW

4/25 2:00 pm 1600 MW

4/25 11:10 pm 1600 MW

4/26 1:00 am 30 MW

4/26 1:19 am 200 MW

4/26 1:23 am 2,000,000 MW

Two types of illustrations exist: tables and figures

Table 1. Reactor power levels in Chernobyl accident [Wolfson, 1991].

Date Time Power Level

4/25 1:00 am 3200 MW

4/25 2:00 pm 1600 MW

4/25 11:10 pm 1600 MW

4/26 1:00 am 30 MW

4/26 1:19 am 200 MW

4/26 1:23 am 2,000,000 MWFigure 1. Simplified diagram of nuclear reactor [Wolfson, 1991].

CoolantLoss Reactor

Vessel

Pressurizer

SteamGenerator

Two types of illustrations exist: tables and figures

Table 2. Sequence of events in the Chernobyl accident [Wolfson, 1991].

April 25

April 26

Date Time Power Level Event

1:00 a.m.

2:00 p.m.

11:10 p.m.

1:00 a.m.

1:19 a.m.

1:23 a.m.

3200 MW

1600 MW

200 MW

2,000,000 MW

Operators begin power descent

Power descent delayed for 9 hoursEmergency core-cooling system disconnected

Operators switch off automatic controlPower descent resumed

Power minimum reached

Operators pull rods beyond allowable limitsOperators start two additional coolant pumpsOperators violate coolant flow limits

Power surges by factor of 10,000 in 5 seconds

Tables can present words as well as numbers

When presenting numerical data, youchoose between tables and graphs

Time(hour)

midnight2:004:006:008:00

10:00noon2:004:006:008:00

Normal(mg/dl*)

100.393.688.2

100.5138.6102.4

93.8132.3103.8

93.6127.8109.2

Diabetic(mg/dl)

175.8165.7159.4

72.1271.0224.6161.8242.7219.4152.6227.1221.3

Table 2. Blood glucose levels [Carlson, 1982].

* decaliters/milligram

When presenting numerical data, youchoose between tables and graphs

Time(hour)

midnight2:004:006:008:00

10:00noon2:004:006:008:00

Normal(mg/dl*)

100.393.688.2

100.5138.6102.4

93.8132.3103.8

93.6127.8109.2

Diabetic(mg/dl)

175.8165.7159.4

72.1271.0224.6161.8242.7219.4152.6227.1221.3

Table 2. Blood glucose levels [Carlson, 1982].

* decaliters/milligram Hour

Figure 11. Blood glucose levels for normal individual and diabetic [Carlson, 1982].

12:00 6:00 am 12:00 6:00 pm 12:00

BloodGlucoseLevel(mg/dl)

BreakfastLunch Dinner

Normal

Diabetic

Temperature(K)

Distance From Burner (mm)

Figure 3. Computational and experimental temperatures for laminar diffusion flames [Sandia, 1987].

ExperimentSimulation

0 2 4 6

Line graphs are common in engineering and science

Figure 4. Response of T-cells in cosmonauts after short-term and long-term flights [Konstantinova, 1991].

Cells%

Flight Duration (Days)

112–175 211–366

Normal range

Bar graphs compare wholes

Figure 5. Schedule for the construction, evaluation, and production phases of the Solar One Power Plant.

Task 1979 1981 1983 1985 1987 1989

Construction

Test and Evaluation

Power Production

Gantt charts are a type of bar charts

Industrial wastes(28%)

Medical and research wastes(16%)

Power reactor wastes(64%)

Power React orI ndustri alMedicalGover nmentGovernment wastes

Figure 5. Volume of low-level nuclear wastes from various sources [League, 1985].

Pie graphs compare parts of a whole

Figure 6. Estimated annual dose of radiation in the United States [GPU Nuclear, 1985].

Average dose: 160 mrem

NaturalSources

MedicalSources

85 mrem

70 mrem

{Fallout: < 3mremOccupational: < 1mremNuclear power: < 1mrem

Graphs come in many forms

When presenting images, you choose between photographs, drawings, and diagrams

Compressor

Combustor1

Turbine

The main advantage of photographs is realism

Figure 2. Space Shuttle Challenger, from about 59 seconds to 60 seconds into launch (January 28, 1986). On the right rocket, flame first becomes visible and then impinges on tank.

59 seconds

59.5 seconds

60 seconds

One advantage of drawings is control of detail

Figure 5. Wind tunnel experiment at Virginia Tech for evaluating film-cooling designs for the blades of gas turbine engines [Thole and others, 2000].

SecondaryFlow

PrimaryFlow

SecondaryFlow

PrimaryFlow

SecondaryFlow

Turbine Vanes

Combustor Simulator

SecondaryFlow

PrimaryFlow

SecondaryFlow

Turbine Vanes

Combustor Simulator

Dilution Jet

Film-Cooling Holes

The main advantage of a diagram is the ability to show flow of a variable through a system

Figure 8. Schematic of test stand for evaluating components of an air conditioner design.

Figure 5. Schematic of thermalstorage system.

The thermal storage system stores heat in a huge, steel-walled tank. Steam from the solar receiver passes through heat exchangersto heat the thermal oil, which is pumped into the tank. The tank then provides energy to run a steam generator to produce electricity. A schematic of this system is shown in Figure 5.

Scientists and engineers often use illustrationsthat are too complex for the text

RECEIVER

FLASHTANK

DEAR-ATOR

HOTWELL

TURBINE

The thermal storage system, shown in Figure 6, stores heat in a huge, steel-walled tank. Steam from the solar receiver heats a thermal oil, which is pumped into the tank. The tank then provides energy to run a steam generator to produce electricity.

Figure 6. Schematic of thermal storage system for the solar power plant.

steamgenerator

650°F 580°F

425°F435°F

solarreceiver

575°F

425°F

530°F

250°F

ThermalTank

HeatExchanger

The precision of the illustrationsshould reflect the precision of the text

Figure 7. Title of figure. Some formats allow you extra sentences to explain unusual details.

..., as shown in Figure 7.

For clarity, you should introduce andexplain illustrations in the text

The testing hardware of the rocket shown in Figure 8 has five main components: camera, digitizer, computer, I/O interface, and mechanical interface. Commands are generated by the computer, then passed through the I/O interface to the mechanized interface where the keyboard of the ICU is operated. The display of the ICU is read with a television camera and then digitized. This information is then manipulated by the computer to direct the next command.

Inconsistencies between text andimages disrupt fluidity

The testing hardware of the rocket shown in Figure 8 has five main components: camera, digitizer, computer, I/O interface, and mechanical interface. Commands are generated by the computer, then passed through the I/O interface to the mechanized interface where the keyboard of the ICU is operated. The display of the ICU is read with a television camera and then digitized. This information is then manipulated by the computer to direct the next command.

PRINTERCONTROLTERMINAL

COMPUTERDIGITIZER

CAMERA

ELECTRO-MECHANICALINTERFACE

ROCKET

Figure 8. Testing hardware.

Inconsistencies between text andimages disrupt fluidity

Our system for testing the launch controls of the rocket consists of four main parts: computer, electro-mechanical interface, camera, and digitizer. In this system (shown in Figure 9), the computer generates test commands to the rocket through the electro-mechanical interface. The test results are read with a television camera, and then digitized. The computer receives the information from the digitizer, and then directs the next test command.

Figure 9. System to test launch controls for rocket.

CameraDigitizer

ComputerElectro-MechanicalInterface

Rocket

Illustration is the meshing of words with images

Language:the Way We Use Words

Short words are the best, and short words when old are best of all. Winston Churchill

Concise

Familiar

Precise

Forthright

wordwordwordwordwordwordwordwordwordwordwordwordwordwordword

wordword

word wordwordwordwordwordwordword

wordword

word word

Generalities that are not anchored with specifics are soon forgotten

After recognizing some problems with the solar mirrors, we took subsequent corrective measures.

After finding that high winds (and not hail) had cracked the ten solar mirrors, we began stowing all mirrors in a horizontal position during thunderstorms.

For precise language, you should avoid over-specifying details

The number of particular hydrocarbon combinations in our study is enormous. For example, the number of possible C20H42 is 366,319 and the number for C40H82 is 62,491,178,805,831.

For precise language, you should avoid over-specifying details

The number of particular hydrocarbon combinations in our study is enormous. For example, the number of possible C20H42 is 366,319 and the number for C40H82 is 62,491,178,805,831.

The number of hydrocarbon combinations in our study is enormous. For example, the number of possible C40H82 is more than 62 trillion.

For precision, you must choose theappropriate level of detail

Operations at the plant stopped momentarilybecause the thermal storage charging systemdesuperheater attemperator valve was replaced.

For precision, you must choose theappropriate level of detail

Operations at the plant stopped momentarilybecause the thermal storage charging systemdesuperheater attemperator valve was replaced.

Operations at the plant stopped for 1.5 hoursso that a valve in the thermal storage systemcould be replaced.

Complex wording buries ideas

The goal of this study is to develop a commerciali-zation strategy for solar energy systems by analyzingfactors impeding early commercial projects (i.e., SOLAR ONE) and by identifying the potential actionsthat can facilitate the viability of the projects.

This study will consider why current solar energysystems, such as Solar One, have not reached thecommercial stage and will find out what steps we can take to make these systems commercial.

Stacking adjectives before nouns swallows the ideas

Solar One is a 10 megawatt solar thermal electric central receiver Barstow power pilot plant.

Solar One is a solar-powered pilot plant located near Barstow, California. Solar One produces 10 megawatts of electricity by capturing solar energy in a central receiver design.

Complex sentences misdirect readers

The goal of the work was to confirm the nature of electrical breakdown of nitrogen in uniform fields at high pressures and electrode gaps which approach those obtained in engineering practice, prior to the deter-mination of the processes which set the criterion for breakdown in the above-mentioned gas in uniform and non-uniform fields of engineering significance.

At high pressures (760 torr) and typical electrode gapdistances (1 mm), the electrical breakdown of nitrogen was studied inuniform fields.

The more muddled the original, the more revisions are needed to streamline it

In our study, we examined the electrical breakdown of nitrogen in uniform fields. For these experiments, the electrode gap distances were typical (1 mm), while the pressures were relatively high (760 torr).

One measure for the complexity of the writing is the Gunning Fog Index

In the index, the complexity of the writing depends on(1) the lengths of sentences(2) the lengths of words

Desired index values forscientific writing are 10-12:New York Times (11)Scientific American (12)

Fi = 0.4 ((Nw / Ns )+ Plw ) Nw = number of words in a typical paragraph Ns = number of sentences in the paragraph Plw = percentage of long words in the paragraph

An ambiguity is a group of words that can have more than one meaning

We examined neat methanol and ethanol and methanol and ethanol with 10% water.

An ambiguity is a group of words that can have more than one meaning

We examined neat methanol and ethanol and methanol and ethanol with 10% water.

We examined four fuels: neat methanol, neat ethanol, methanol with 10% water, and ethanol with 10% water.

Ambiguities occur for many reasons

?????????The proposed schedule is discussed below for the next four years.

?????????

???????As light hydrocarbons evaporate the oil vapor pressure falls.

The proposed schedule is discussed below for the next four years.

?????????

???????As light hydrocarbons evaporate the oil vapor pressure falls.

Although engineers realized the design flaws in the Titanic soon after its sinking in 1912, the reasons for the severe damage inflicted by the iceberg remained a mystery until its discovery in 1985.

The proposed schedule is discussed below for the next four years.

Pretentious diction often causesproblems with tone

approximately

facilitate

implement

individualized

operationability

utilization

approximately

facilitate

implement

individualized

operationability

utilization

cause; bring about

approximately

facilitate

implement

individualized

operationability

utilization

cause; bring about

carry out

approximately

facilitate

implement

individualized

operationability

utilization

cause; bring about

carry out

individual

approximately

facilitate

implement

individualized

operationability

utilization

cause; bring about

carry out

individual

can operate

approximately

facilitate

implement

individualized

operationability

utilization

cause; bring about

carry out

individual

can operate

approximately

facilitate

implement

individualized

operationability

utilization

Weak verbs hide the energy of your work

A new process for eliminating nitrogen oxides from diesel exhaust engines is presented. Flow tube experiments to test this process are discussed. The percentage decrease in nitrogen oxide emissions is revealed.

Weak verbs hide the energy of your work

A new process for eliminating nitrogen oxides from diesel exhaust engines is presented. Flow tube experiments to test this process are discussed. The percentage decrease in nitrogen oxide emissions is revealed.

This paper presents a new process for eliminating nitrogen oxides from the exhaust of diesel engines. To test this process, we performed experiments in flow tubes. These experiments revealed a 99 percent decrease in nitrogen oxide emissions.

A formal definition has a specific form

nounterm +noun naming class

to which noun term belongs

information to separate noun term from other terms in class

noun term noun

termnoun termnoun

noun term

A formal definition has a specific form

Bremsstrahlung: the radiation emitted by a charged particle that is accelerated in the Coulomb force field of a nucleus.

nounterm +noun naming class

to which noun term belongs

information to separate noun term from other terms in class

noun term noun

termnoun termnoun

noun term

To tighten your writing, eliminate redundancies and writing zeroes

Vibration measurements made in the course of the Titan flight test program were complicated by the presence of intense high-frequency excitation of the vehicle shell structure during the re-entry phaseof the flight.

To tighten your writing, eliminate redundancies and writing zeroes

Vibration measurements made in the course of the Titan flight test program were complicated by the presence of intense high-frequency excitation of the vehicle shell structure during the re-entry phaseof the flight.

Vibration measurements made in the Titan flight were complicated by intense high-frequency excitation of the vehicle shell during re-entry.

Examples anchor abstract generalities

By the late Middle Ages, cities throughout Europe were building Gothic cathedrals. The only way, however, that architects could test a new design was to build the cathedral, a process that took more than forty years. Unfortunately, many cathedrals caved in during or after construction. What took forty years to test in the Middle Ages could have been done in minutes on a supercomputer.

William Wilson

Mount St. Helens erupted on May 18, 1980. A cloud of hot rock and gas surged northward from its collapsing slope. The cloud devastated more than 500 square kilometers of forests and lakes. The effects of Mount St. Helens were well documented with geophysical instruments. The origin of the eruption is not well understood. Volcanic explosions are driven by a rapid expansion of steam. Some scientists believe the steam comes from groundwater heated by the magma. Other scientists believe the steam comes from water originally dissolved in the magma. We need to understand the source of steam in volcanic eruptions. We need to determine how much water the magma contains.

When sentence openers do not vary, the sentences do not seem to connect Z

Varying sentence openers allows for more kinds of transitions between sentences

Sentence Sentence Sentence

Varying sentence openers allows for more kinds of transitions between sentences

Sentence Sentence Sentence

Topic of Sentence SubjectTime of action Prepositional PhraseLocation of action Prepositional PhraseManner of action AdverbSubordinate action Dependent ClauseReason for action Infinitive Phrase

Vary sentence openers to vary rhythm

Mount St. Helens erupted on May…

subject-verb

prepositional phrase

adverb

dependent clause

infinitive phrase

subject-verb

In minutes, the mountain emitted…

adverb

dependent clause

infinitive phrase

subject-verb

Recently, debate has arisen... adverb

dependent clause

infinitive phrase

subject-verb

Although the exact time of the eruption surprised scientists, evidence had been collected...

dependent clause

infinitive phrase

subject-verb

Although the exact time of the eruption surprised scientists, evidence had been collected...

dependent clause

To understand the eruption, we have to...

infinitive phrase

Varying sentence openers enlivens the writing and allows connections

Mount St. Helens erupted on May 18, 1980. Its slope collapsing, the mountain emitted a cloud of hot rock and gas. In minutes, the cloud devastated more than 500 square kilometers of forests and lakes. Although the effects of the eruption were well documented, the origin is not well understood. Volcanic explosions are driven by a rapid expansion of steam. Recently, debate has arisen over the source for the steam. Is it groundwater heated by magma or water originally dissolved in the magma itself? To understand the source of steam in volcanic eruptions, we need to determine how much water the magma contains.

Avoiding Common Errors of Grammar

One of the most important skills a writer can have is the ability to compose clear, complete sentences. The sentence is the basic unit of communication in all forms of English.

Funk, McMahan, and Day Elements of Grammar

Not all mechanical errors bother readers in the same way

Errors thatdisturb

run-on sentenceits/it’sspell checker ignored

Errors thatdisturb

Errors thatdistract

missing intro commafaulty parallelismunclear pronoun ref

Errors thatdisturb

Errors thatdistract

missing intro commafaulty parallelismunclear pronoun ref

Errors that few even notice

different from/thancontractionsplit infinitive

The most important aspect of grammaris understanding what a sentence is

Sentence: A sentence is group of words with a subject and a verb that expresses a complete thought.

Fragment: A fragment being a group of words that either is missing a subject or a verb or does not express a complete thought.

Run-on: A run-on is two or more independent clauses that are not joined properly, for instance, a common mistake is to have a comma between the clauses.

Which are sentences (S), fragments (F), or run-ons (RO)?

Rubidium has no major uses, however, it is more common in the earth than zinc, copper, or nickel.

Although carbon dioxide occurs naturally, man has dramatically increased its concentration this past century.

Several systems can detect plastic explosives. For example, thermal neutron activation systems, nitrogen sniffer systems, and enhanced x-ray systems.

Shown in yellow are corrections to the errors from the previous slide

Although rubidium has no major uses, it is more common in the earth than zinc, copper, or nickel.

Several systems can detect plastic explosives. Examples include thermal neutron activation systems, nitrogen sniffer systems, and enhanced x-ray systems.

Note that there are several ways to correct each of these errors

Rubidium has no major uses; however, it is more common in the earth than zinc, copper, or nickel.

Rubidium has no major uses, but it is more common in the earth than zinc, copper, or nickel.

Rubidium has no major uses. This metal, however, is more common in the earth than zinc, copper, or nickel.

Making lists parallel is another important aspect of grammar

Printed circuit board relays are limited to small coil voltages, contact ratings, and lack multi-pole configurations.

Printed circuit board relays are limited to small coil voltages and contact ratings, and lack multi-pole configurations.

Animals that come in contact with oil can develop rashes, sores, and may leave the area.

Animals that come in contact with oil can develop rashes, sores, and wandering tendencies.

Animals that come in contact with oil can develop rashes and sores, and may leave the area.

Animals that come in contact with oil can develop rashes, sores, and wandering tendencies.

Placing a modifier in its appropriate place is also important in grammar

These proteins indicate to the body what hormones should be given off among other things.

These proteins indicate, among other things, to the body what hormones should be given off.

In meeting the staff of the Parks Department, the greatest problem was that of water leakage.

From the staff of the Parks Department, we learned that the greatest problem was that of water leakage.

Unclear pronoun references cause ambiguities

Because the receiver presented the radiometer with a high flux environment, it was mounted in a silver-plated stainless steel container.

If you receive an e-mail titled "Win A Holiday," do not open it. It will erase everything on your hard drive. Forward this e-mail out to as many people as you can. This is a very malicious virus and not many people know about it.

it???Because the receiver presented the radiometer with a high flux environment, it was mounted in a silver-plated stainless steel container.

This???

This???this???

Avoiding Common Errors of Punctuation

Punctuation marks are the traffic signs and signals placed along the reader’s road. They tell him when to slow down and when to stop, and sometimes they warn him of the nature of the road ahead. Traffic engineers do not always agree on what signs should be used and where they should be placed, and neither do writers or editors. Theodore M. Bernstein The Careful Writer

Punctuation rules are designed to have sentences be read one way

Colon: a colon introduces a formal list, long quotation, equation, or definition.

Semi-Colon: a semi-colon either joins two independent clauses (closely linked in thought) or separates complex items in a list.

Dash: a dash acts as a parenthesis to separate items that cannot be separated by commas.

Comma: a comma separates details in a sentence.

A colon introduces a formal list, long quotation, equation, or definition

We studied five types of marsupials: opossums, bandicoots, koalas, wombats, and kangaroos.

The laboratory growth of this crystal made possible a new astronomical tool: a gamma-ray detector with high-energy resolution.

A colon introduces a formal list, long quotation, equation, or definition

We studied five types of marsupials: opossums, bandicoots, koalas, wombats, and kangaroos.

The laboratory growth of this crystal made possible a new astronomical tool: a gamma-ray detector with high-energy resolution.

In formal writing, what is on the left side of the colon should stand alone as a separate sentence.

Once the list ends, the sentence ends.

Although equations are separated by white space, they should be treated as part of the sentence

To calculate the strain, ε, we used equation 1:

where σ is the stress estimated by FEPC and E is the modulus of elasticity of aluminum.

ε =σE

Em-dashes act as parentheses to separate items that commas cannot

Because two isotopes of hydrogen—deuterium and tritium—are lightweight, can be produced easily, and require little energy, they are prime candidates to begin the fusion process.

After one year, we measured mirror reflectivity at 96 percent—a high percentage, but not as high as originally expected.

Em-dashes act as parentheses to separate items that commas cannot

Because two isotopes of hydrogen—deuterium and tritium—are lightweight, can be produced easily, and require little energy, they are prime candidates to begin the fusion process.

After one year, we measured mirror reflectivity at 96 percent—a high percentage, but not as high as originally expected.

Because two isotopes of hydrogen (deuterium and tritium) are lightweight, can be produced easily, and require little energy, they are prime candidates to begin the fusion process.

After one year, we measured mirror reflectivity at 96 percent (a high percentage, but not as high as originally expected).

Commas separate introductory phrases and clauses

After cooling the exhaust gases continue to expand.

Commas separate introductory phrases and clauses

After cooling the exhaust gases continue to expand.

After cooling, the exhaust gases continue to expand.

Commas separate parenthetical details

X-ray backscatter systems, which are relatively inexpensive require the operator’s attention.

Commas separate parenthetical details

X-ray backscatter systems, which are relatively inexpensive require the operator’s attention.

X-ray backscatter systems, which are relatively inexpensive, require the operator’s attention.

Commas separate items in a list

Discharges of these hazardous substances occurred through spills when loading vehicles, spills and over-spills when filling the tanks, leaks from supply pipes and corroded welds, rust holes and cracks in the seams of the tanks themselves.

Commas separate items in a list

Discharges of these hazardous substances occurred through spills when loading vehicles, spills and over-spills when filling the tanks, leaks from supply pipes and corroded welds, rust holes and cracks in the seams of the tanks themselves.

Discharges of these hazardous substances occurred through the following: spills when loading vehicles; spills and over-spills when filling the tanks; leaks from supply pipes; and corroded welds, rust holes, and cracks in the seams of the tanks themselves.

Avoiding Common Errors of Usage

Choose the right word, not its second cousin. The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between “lightning” and “lightning-bug.”

Mark Twain

right word

word word

wordword

Not all usage rules are constant with respect to time

1700s: “an historical...”1900s: “a historical...”

1900: X rays1950: X-rays1995: x-rays

C & E News (1985): the 1980’s (plural)C & E News (1995): the 1980s (plural)

1900: X rays1950: X-rays1995: x-rays

Not all usage rules are constant with respect to position

William Strunk and E. B. White,The Elements of Style: Data: A plural, like phenomena and strata.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary of English Usage: In its current use, data occurs in two constructions:

as a plural noun (like earnings) taking a plural verb…and as an abstract mass noun (like information) taking a singular verb…

Not all usage errors bother readers in the same way

Errors thatdisturb

Errors thatdistract

Errors that few even notice

affect/effectits/it’s

verb disagreementverb tensecomprise/composepossessive

different from/thancompare with/to

The criteria for assessing the environmental effects of acid rain (are / is) given in the next section.

So far, the daily number of engineers applying (has / have) remained constant.

The goggles protect a (persons / person’s) eyes from any damaging effects that a laser could cause.

In accordance with my (boss’ / boss’s) schedule, the first series of computers was replaced.

Two common usage errors are possessives and subject-verb disagreements

person’s

boss’s

To decide upon the verb tense in a document, you first plant a reference flag for t=0

Past Tense:Events that have already occurred

Present Tense:Timeless details or details at time of reading

Future Tense:Events that will occur after project

The pressure was...For the experiment, we

assumed…As was shown back in

Figure 1...

Air is 79 percent nitrogen.Figure 1 shows…The computer code in

Appendix B includes...

Figure 1...

Air is 79 percent nitrogen.Figure 1 shows…The computer code in

Appendix B includes...

Future work will focus on....

The verb tenses of sentences that refer to the document depend upon position

Introduction This report presents a design for connecting light emitting diodes to the HC11 microcontroller.

Results and Discussion...Figure 1 shows the circuit that connects the light emitting diodes to the HC11 microcontroller.

Conclusions This report has presented a design for connecting light emitting diodes to the HC11 microcontroller. As was shown in Figure 1, the circuit...

Use numerals when referring to measurements

When to use numerals

Specific measurements 3 volts, 2 seconds, 1 m/s

Percentages 15 percent

Monetary figures $3000

Large numerals 5 million

Use numerals when referring to measurements

When to write out numbers

Counting (one or two words) twenty-three gages

Informal measurements two hours

First word of sentence Thirty-three...

When to use numerals

Specific measurements 3 volts, 2 seconds, 1 m/s

Percentages 15 percent

Monetary figures $3000

Large numerals 5 million

We produced a small (amount, number) of autos this year, even (fewer, less) than last year.

A company’s success depends on (its / it's) employees.

The new material is (composed / comprised) of plastic and iodine.

It appears (as if, like) the Department of Energy will choose the third option.

Certain words are commonly misused

numberfewer

composed

numberfewer

composed

Reduced weight was the (principal / principle) reason for choosing aluminum.

The talk centered (around / on) the (principal / principle) of virtual work.

(Regrettably / Regretfully), the launch was delayed because of thunderstorms.

You need not proceed any (farther / further) on your test.

The serum had serious side (affects / effects).

principal

onprinciple

principal

onprinciple

Regrettably

principal

onprinciple

Regrettably

further

principal

onprinciple

Regrettably

further

effects

Non-words and nonsensical groupingsof words also cause problems

Whichever design you choose is (alright / all right) with me.

(Irregardless / Regardless) of the shipping delay, the work will stop because of the strike.

Applying that set of constraints is a (most unique / unique / very unique) way to approach the problem.

The serum had (alot / a lot) of side effects.

all right

Regardless

all right

Regardless

unique

all right

Regardless

unique

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