out of sight
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“Out of Sight” | Colene Arcaina
“711 it is!” I pressed send and placed my phone on my study table which
was finally free of the usual mountain of required class readings and my
overcharged laptop. It was 7:35pm and a Saturday night in June 2012. Thank
God. It’s a new semester and I would be finally seeing them after the break
of trying to move on and getting over it. I tied my hair, put my earrings on,
and checked my face on the bathroom mirror. Pweds na, I thought. I took my
phone, placed it in my usual small, teal, leather sling bag. Then my keys. Oh
and then my wallet. I slipped on my usual gimmick sandals and headed for
the door, then the elevator. I think I’m ready to see her, I thought. It’s going
to be fine. I’m meeting my friends who I missed and seeing her again isn’t a
big deal. She’s one of them naman, I thought. Friends.
I think I was even excited. 711’s just eight floors away from where I
live and I arrived first. I sat on one of their red, round, and steel-footed chairs
as I waited for the rest. “Just a Feeling” by Maroon 5 suddenly played in 711
and I recalled how I used to wait for these songs inside this convenience
store about a year and a half ago during late-night conversations with her
and we’d even play a game about it.
***
My everyday was with her and that seemed to be everything to me. Among
my small circle of friends, she was my favorite. We got along pretty well.
We’d exchange laughs, talk about life, love, dreams, school, our families,
sometimes crazy and trivial things. We’d spend those nights in 711 and we
didn’t seem to run out of things to talk about.
“Out of Sight” | Colene Arcaina
“Uy, it’s just a feeling daw sabi ng Maroon 5!” George said, “Sige
ganito. Let’s play a game, Liz. Let’s ask a question and the radio will answer
it for us. So whatever song follows your question is the answer to your
question.”
“Pano? Haha!” I said.
“Basta sige, ask a question.”
“Sino ang magiging someone special ko?” I said.
“O sige, let’s wait for the next song.”
Kailan by Smokey Mountain played on the radio. That song as an
answer to my question didn’t seem to make sense, I thought. Then she
looked me in the eye and smiled. My breathing slowed down but my heart
raced. My eyes were fixed on hers and hers on mine. I guessed that there
was one more thing we’d been missing to talk about then it hit me, and it hit
us. We could happen.
***
I snapped back to 2012 and realized I was staring at that rack of Skittles. The
radio was already playing a new song when somebody tapped me on the
shoulder.
“Uy.” I turned and saw George standing and holding a Caramel
Cornetto, with a half-smile on her lips. Somehow her eyes smiled more than
her lips did. Ah that George. I miss that George who smiled for and because
of me. She might be happier now, I thought. Is there someone new? She still
wore that necklace with a cross pendant as well. She’s a devout Catholic and
“Out of Sight” | Colene Arcaina
her mom gave that to her. Most would still regard us as sisters because we
looked alike. She was just an inch taller, had brown and wavy hair and I had
rounder cheeks. She sat next to me and asked,
“Sa’n na ‘yung tatlo? I thought 7:30?”
“Ewan, baka nag-date na sina Ann and Patch. Alam mo naman ‘yun.
Tas third wheel na naman si Tope.” I said.
We laughed. That was casual. See Liz. It’s fine, I thought. The glass
door swung open, making the noises from the passing cars along Katipunan
and the chitchat of some people in front of 711, audible.
“Sorry, late” said Ann. She let out a giggle then embraced me and
George. “I missed you guys! Sorry talaga, si Patch kasi ang tagal.”
“Sorry na” said Patch in his ever-apologetic voice, but then he
childishly pointed at Tope, “’To kasi eh! They walked towards us, laughing.
Patch took Ann’s hand then kissed her on the cheek. She looked him in the
eye, and let out a smile. They’d been together for two years. How I wish I
had one of my own. Well I used to. Bagay na bagay pa sila, I thought. Patch
was the combination of that boy-next-door and the responsible son while Ann
was that bubbly fashionista who always made it to the honors’ list.
“Ako na naman. Haha!” Tope said, “O tara na? ‘Di ba 9:45 yung movie?
Dinner pa tayo! As usual, Tope sounded so ecstatic. The barkada clown
indeed.
We stepped out of 711, walked along Katipunan – Mile Hi, where the
barkada usually drank Saturday nights or after hell weeks, then Sweet
“Out of Sight” | Colene Arcaina
Inspiration, home to my favorite red velvet cake, manholes, uneven
pavements, more uneven pavements, then Serenitea, Yellowcab, BPI,
Chicken Charlie, Dairy Queen, Pizza Hut, Chicken Bacolod, and then finally,
the Old Spaghetti House.
“Group meal na, game?” I said. Everybody nodded in approval.
“Bottomless iced na rin!” Tope added.
“Kuya, pitcher of water please!” said George, who giggled with the rest
like tomorrow’s never going to come. And she never looked my way, but I
smiled at her, hoping she’d see me and smile back like before. Her eyes
were still some maze I’d lose myself in, the way she’d laugh, and that scar
just right above her left eyebrow was still a beauty. Was it this easy for her
to move on, I thought. Maybe I was just being too sensitive? Or maybe she
was being insensitive? I don’t know. I looked down and stared at a very
familiar placemat which had a sketch of a plate full of spaghetti and had
some space for doodling. I recalled one of the most memorable birthdays I
had.
***
I was sitting in that same couch less than a year ago, staring at the
same placemat with spaghetti sketches and Tope sat across me. He
relentlessly talked about his day. I was wondering why he kept on talking
about himself and he hasn’t greeted me a happy birthday. He talked about
not having moved on from his ex-girlfriend, Dana. Then pressure from his
dad. Family business. Graduation next year. Then everything else. He went
“Out of Sight” | Colene Arcaina
on and I was really getting annoyed. The door opened, making a very
familiar voice audible.
“Isn’t she lovely? Isn’t she wonderful?” Patch was singing with his
guitar on. Ann stood beside him and was holding a red velvet cake lit by
nineteen candles. Behind them stood George holding a box wrapped in light
blue Japanese paper with a white ribbon around it.
“Happy birthday, Liz!” They said in chorus after singing along with
Patch, not minding the other customers present. Tope hugged me, wished
me a boyfriend. Then Ann gave me a bracelet she made. Patch said that his
song number was his gift and wished me good grades. George hugged me
the tightest, whispered I love you, handed me a tiny jade green box she got
from her pocket and took my free hand as we sat. We had dinner, shared
wishes, and exchanged laughs. George took me home.
“Hey, thanks love.” I said, “Alam ko ikaw may kagagawan nun. Haha”
We were standing in front of my door.
“Sure. Happy birthday again, and I love you. Please remember” She
said.
“I love you too.” I said. I took both of her hands and kissed her on the
cheek. “How long are we keeping this, George? We’ve been together for
more than six months and si Ann lang nakakaalam. How about Patch and
Tope? The rest of the world? Ang hirap ha.”
“Let’s talk about that some other time, Liz. Aren’t you tired?”
“Why not tonight?”
“Out of Sight” | Colene Arcaina
“Please not tonight. Something’s up at home. I’m sorry.” Her phone
beeped and she took it from her pocket. Unknown number. She quickly puts
it back and told me she had to go.
“Sorry babe. I think it’s mom.” She said.
She gave me a long kiss on the forehead then I embraced her. I closed
my eyes, wishing my last for that day, that I just didn’t want it to end.
***
That memory still seemed so fresh but it slowly faded as I heard Ann. I
thought I’d been staring at that placemat for too long and George was still
talking to the rest.
“Uyyyy wait, instagram tayo guys!” said Ann, who quickly took her
iPhone out of her bag.
“Hahaha, ikaw talaga!” Patch added. “Kuya, pa-picture na rin ha!”
I missed them and it’s been a great night, I thought. It can never be
the same with her though.
***
“Oh kumusta ka na, Liz?” Tope said, “Bakit di kayo nagpapansinan ni
George? Magkagalit ata kayo. Hahaha” I saw Ann slap Tope’s arm and she
looked at me, her face asking me whether I was still okay or not.
“Ah okay lang naman ako. Busy buong summer.” I said as I fiddled with
the San Mig light label on my third bottle that night. Mahaba-haba pa yung
gabi, I thought. “Di kaya kami magkagalit ni George. Haha. Ano ba.”
“Out of Sight” | Colene Arcaina
“Oo naman. We’re good. Diba, Liz?” George said. She even put her arm
around my shoulder for one moment.
“Cheers to the summer that has been!” Ann said.
Cheeeeeers!
“Mabuti pa, let’s play a game na lang.” Ann added. “Spin the bottle!
Truth or dare!”
“Classic, love, ha!” Patch said. He was on his second bottle of Red
Horse.
We were at Mile Hi, our hang-out place on chill (and even on not-so-
chill) nights. It gave out the ambience of an American diner with its hefty
burgers, the bacon and cheese fries (which was our favorite), the spacious
red booths, and a mural of two women in white spaghetti straps and denim
pants, looking straight into each other’s eyes, and chatting in front of a black
1959 Ford Thunderbird which covered the entire wall of the diner from our
view. Ah, it felt like it was the first time all over again.
First time? I thought. George and I laughed at that exactly 7 months
back, when she first took me to Mile Hi so we could try those bacon and
cheese fries.
***
“Di ko alam pero para talaga silang couple eh.” George said. One
actually looks like you, and the other looks like me.” George said.
“Out of Sight” | Colene Arcaina
“Haha! Well, I’d have to agree. This is our mural, George. Somebody
must have known we’d end up together and he knew we’d go here and talk
about this.” I said.
“Oo nga. This really looks like us talking the whole night. Alam mo na,
hanggang mag-umaga. Except that we don’t have a car.”
***
George’s and my voice seemed to diffuse in my head and all I knew
was that I was still staring at that silly old mural. Oo nga pala, I thought. We
were playing spin the bottle.
“Huy, kanina ka pang walang reaction! Ikaw na oh!” George pouted
towards the bottle whose spout was pointing to my free hand resting on the
table.
“O game, I’ll ask! I’ll ask!” Tope said, after ordering another bucket of
beer, “Alam mo, sobrang curious ko pa rin talaga. Naalala mo yung time na
sinabi ko sa’yong nakita kong kasama ni George si David last sem? Mga
bandang February ata?”
“Yep, I remember.” I said. Bakit niya tinanong ‘yun, I thought. Ann was
looking at me, her face still asking me whether I was fine or not. I smiled to
tell her I was fine. George was suddenly silent. Too silent.
“Why did you react that way? You liked David, no?” Tope said.
“Uy Tope. Ano ba ‘yan.” George said.
“Ay nako, Tope. You’re drunk.” I said.
“Out of Sight” | Colene Arcaina
“But you’re not answering the question, Liz!” Patch said in a whim then
he snorted from laughing too hard. May tama na ‘to, I thought.
“I’m not drunk, ano ba. This is just our second bucket, o!”
“Well for the record, I never liked David. Bad day lang ata ‘yun Tope
kaya I reacted that way.” I looked at George who was texting and I was
hoping she’d lift her head to look my way. Reacted that way, I let out a sigh.
That day in February was indeed a bad day. No, it was a tormenting and
frustrating day.
***
I remembered meeting up with Tope that day in Starbucks for a school
project and he blurted out,
“Hoy si George, kasama si David the other night after your birthday!
David from French class?”
“Ah talaga?” I said. Then it all made sense. What a mood turner.
“Oh tapos?”
“Wala, it just looked like they were having fun. Nilapitan ko lang si
George to say hello then I went.”
I didn’t finish my meeting with Tope and told him that I’d been
suffering from a severe headache that day. I didn’t wait for him to say
goodbye and I stormed out of the coffee shop.
***
Spin the bottle’s now the worst game ever. It was George’s turn to
answer and Tope asked again in delight.
“Out of Sight” | Colene Arcaina
“Oh so bakit naman kayo magkasama ni David nun, George?” He said.
“Wala. Tope. Can we stop talking about that moment?” George said.
She looked at me and mouth the word “sorry”. The night couldn’t get worse
and I didn’t see this coming. What happened to it’s going to be fine, I
thought. Well, it isn’t. Nothing’s been fine.
We drank more. Revealed truths. Did dares. Tope’s turn. Then Ann.
Then George. Then Patch. Countless rounds. We called it a day after one shot
of tequila each. My phone said 3:34am.
“Wake up, lovebirds!” I remembered Tope tapping on Patch and Ann’s
shoulders and he said, “Sige George, ako na bahala sa kanila. Trike lang to
Xavierville. I’m still fine. Ikaw na dyan.”
I remember George taking my hand when we stepped out of Mile Hi
that night and pressing “8” on our elevator.
“Liz, keys?”
I let go of her hand and quickly unzipped my usual sling bag. I
carelessly fumbled for anything that sounded and felt like my keys. We went
inside and I kept asking her to stay over for the night. I really wanted her to
stay.
“I can’t, Liz. I have to go home. Patay na naman ako kay mom neto.
Basta don’t drink too much na next time.” George said. She embraced me
lightly. I slightly pressed my cheek on hers and then she pulled away.
“I won’t na. Promise. But can you stay, please?” I said, tugging the
sides of her loose top with one hand and holding her lower back so I can pull
“Out of Sight” | Colene Arcaina
her towards me. I felt her giving in for a moment and thought that maybe I
could still make her stay.
“I really can’t. I have to go. Bye,” she said. She took my hand off her
top and her back, took a step towards the door and she closed it for me. I
opened the door and followed her outside. She was heading towards the
elevator.
“Was he better in loving you?” I said. She stopped walking. “Tell me
now George.” I tried not to cry and she turned to walk towards me.
“You’re so drunk Liz, come on. Balik ka na, please.” She said. “Let’s
just talk some other time, when you’re better.”
“Bakit other time na naman George? Why not now? Why do you always
put me off?”
“Please, don’t do this to yourself, Liz. I care about you and we’re still
friends. Don’t do this to yourself. We just all need time. I took mine. Take
yours.” That was death all over again. “Come on, balik ka na sa loob. I need
to go and I can’t leave you like this.”
“But you already did, George.”
“Magpahinga na tayo, Liz. Please.”
She accompanied me back to my unit and then left. I buried myself in
my sheets and took it all out on sleep.
***
“Mass at Gesu?” I sent Patch, Ann, Tope, and George a message. It was a
Sunday and I missed attending mass at the Gesu inside Ateneo. I miss the
“Out of Sight” | Colene Arcaina
entire place, the vast Bel Field across, outlined by trees from which white
and blue lights charmed their spectators, the stone pavement that
surrounded the majestic church which sat on a “hill”, the highest point in the
entire university, and Jesus’ statue on the front pavement which was very
much best viewed from the stone ledge. I sat there and faced Bel Field. It
was a little after 5 and I’d be waiting for sunset.
***
I was waiting for her so I sat on the middle of that same stone ledge. It was
late February. She promised last time we’d talk about us. Finally. I guess
she’d already told her parents about us by now. Then we can tell the rest of
our barkada. I guess today would be a better day. A new one for us. I hope.
An hour passed and she still didn’t come. She’s late again. All her
messages for the past two months were delayed. Our 711 nights slowly
faded into oblivion. She’d tell me she’s too tired. Too busy. Too many
reasons. We’d still go out, but not as often and it would always be me on the
waiting end. But I’d keep waiting because there was nobody else that I
wanted but her. And there was nobody else I’d still love to say good night to
every single day.
“Sorry Liz, late.” George said, “Something’s still up at home.” She’s
finally here, I thought.
“What’s up?” I said and I took her hand, “I think I’m okay with not
telling Patch and Tope about us yet. No pressure.” I smiled and then put my
arm around her shoulder.
“Out of Sight” | Colene Arcaina
“No, it’s not that.”
“Then what is?” I’d never felt that afraid to ask and hear an answer.
“Liz,” she said in a shaky voice.
“Yes?” I was hoping it wasn’t going to where I’d been feeling it would.
“I’m sorry.”
“Why?”
“Liz, sorry” She said. She let go of my hand. “I can’t do this anymore.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I don’t know how to tell you.” Please just do, I thought. Or not. I didn’t
exactly know what I wanted, or maybe I did. I just didn’t know if I should still
do.
“There’s someone else.” I said, “David, right?”
“I’m sorry, Liz.” She looked at me and it was all too different, “I don’t
know. I guess I just fell. He likes me a lot, he’d tell me,” And I thought
George felt like I was the only one that was keeping her from feeling the
same way for him, or for anyone else. I looked at her and her eyes would tell
me so. It was the first time I felt like I was a hindrance. And she’s asking me
now to let her go. So I did. I had to. I can’t help it, to be the one who always
had to wait for things to come around. And even if they did, I still had to be
the one to let them go when circumstance called for it.
***
It still stung. I’d never really moved on from her. The sun was finally setting
and I looked beyond Bel Field. I tried to clear my eyes from the clouding
“Out of Sight” | Colene Arcaina
tears. A black Fortuner stopped in front of Gesu and I saw George, Ann,
Patch, and Tope.
Gesu’s bell rang and I walked after them. George and Tope turned and
gestured for me to follow them. I froze and felt the evening breeze kiss my
cheeks. I wiped away a few tears and I couldn’t believe how I’ve never
wanted anything this bad before. And I just wanted to figure out how I could
win her back.
***
Two months passed and I met up with Ann to ask her advice. I’d never really
changed my mind and all my conversations with Ann always went back to
that night in Mile Hi because I never really talked about it to anyone, not
even George.
“Girl, so ano ba balak mo?” Ann said.
“I really want her back, Ann.” I said. It was the first time I told Ann that
I wanted George back and I was willing to go all the way.
“Sure ka ba?”
“I’ve always been sure about George, Ann. Ano ba.”
“Balita ko two months na rin silang wala ni David. I can’t say it’s the
“perfect” time, but you know. Mas malaki chance, Liz. Uy, muling ibalik.
Haha.” Ann teased me with what we call her “shipper’s” laugh and I’d never
been so hopeful.
“And should I tell the rest na, Ann?” I said.
“Out of Sight” | Colene Arcaina
“Patch knows, Liz. Sorry I told him.”
“Kainis ka, Ann. Hahaha. Fine. I think I’m fine with it naman. Sige so si
Tope na lang. So what do you think should I do, Ann? I mean, parang
“manliligaw” ata ako?”
“Oh my Liz. Hahaha. I really don’t know. Ask Tope when you tell him!”
I took Ann’s advice. I told Tope. It was quick and Tope laughed, told me
he’s sorry for all the jokes he’d said before, most especially about “that”
night.
“So pano ba to, Tope? Do I send her flowers? Haharanahin ko ba? Hingi
ako tulong kay Patch to play the guitar for me? Aayain ko ba for lunch
everyday? I said.
“No, Liz! Haha! I think you know better. I mean, kilala mo si George.
You should know!” He said.
“Huh? Kaya nga ako lumapit sa’yo eh.”
“Exactly. I’m telling you that gawin mo lang yung mga ginawa mo
before. She fell for that and it’s possible that she can fall for it again. Simple
lang. Swabe! Natural. No fancy stuff.”
Tope just made perfect sense to me and I knew what I had to do and I
wanted to start on it right away.
***
“Out of Sight” | Colene Arcaina
It was a Monday night. I had been keeping myself busy and I couldn’t
remember the last time I sent a text message which was for her alone. It’s
been a while and I thought I should finally make the move.
I typed “Dinner?” on my phone and all it usually took was a millisecond
to hit send. But I thought, do I send it?. No big deal, I should. It’s just dinner.
Or no. Or yes. No big deal. Or no. Never. It took me two minutes before I
finally pressed send. Within a minute, my phone beeped and then she said,
“Sure! Where? :)”
My heart raced and one moment I was so happy. Then nervous. No,
just cautious. Who was I kidding, I was elated! But that would be the first
time talking to her alone again after that night in Mile Hi. I wouldn’t talk to
her anyway whenever we’d meet with the rest. It’s been a while and I was
feeling all the butterflies, more butterflies, even dragons in my stomach. This
is it, I thought.
We had dinner in that ever familiar place. I guess we both missed the
bacon and cheese fries. She was late. No, I was just early. I saw her coming
through my peripheral but I chose to look down then at my phone so it
wouldn’t be too obvious. I noticed that they still hadn’t taken that mural
down.
“Hey, kumusta?” I said.
“I’m fine, Liz. Busy with school. Thesis! How about you?” She said.
“Okay lang din! Same old.”
“Out of Sight” | Colene Arcaina
“How’s life?”
“Getting better.”
“Hey, sorry ah. You know, for that night. I know it’s a bit too late na for
an apology pero sorry.”
“Basta ikaw, okay ka. I’m good na rin. Okay ka ba?”
“Sabi mo nga, getting better. I’m getting better as well.”
It felt wonderful that she still cared, or so I thought. But it just felt fine.
“I told you, Liz. We’re friends no matter what.”
“Thanks. That’s great to know” That’s a good start, I thought. That
night was a good start with her. After dinner, we said goodbye and we
embraced. Again. I felt alive again.
***
Weeks passed and dinners with her became more frequent. 711 nights were
back, well almost back. We’d talk about random things again, talk about the
day. School. Family. Eveything. I’d text her everyday and she’d reply. Small
talks here and there. I’d been trying so hard to keep conversations up.
Difficult times, I thought. But at least, she would respond. Good enough.
There was this time she wanted to have dinner and texted first. I’d be more
than glad. We’d meet up at the same place.
“What’s up, George?”
“Wala naman, Liz. Was hungry so I thought we’d have dinner! Haha!
Bawal ba?”
“Out of Sight” | Colene Arcaina
“Di naman.”
“Aren’t you glad?”
“Of course I am.” I said. I didn’t know where the conversation was
going though. But I was so sure I can’t be there yet, “Ikaw? Masaya ka ba?”
“I am too, Liz.” She smiled. That smile. I was celebrating inside so I
smiled back.
“Pero kumusta ka with David?” I just felt like I already had that right
again to ask her about those things.
“Okay lang naman Liz. Nagpaparamdam siya every now and then. He’d
still send me flowers. Tell me he misses me. I’d reply every now and then
din, but not when he tells me he misses me.” She said.
“Why’d you break up again?” I regretted asking my earlier question. I
felt a pang in my chest.
“I guess I just needed time to figure me out.”
“I see. Still hoping?” Oh why did I ask again.
“Well, I can’t say anything about that right now Liz.”
I guess that was enough for that night. What mattered was that I’d
been with her while she was trying to be better about things. I could make
her feel better. These days had been the best opportunities to make her the
happiest person in the world, I thought. A thousand Davids didn’t matter. I
could make it. This is my second chance.
***
“Out of Sight” | Colene Arcaina
I told Ann, Patch, and Tope about the progress I’d been making with
winning George back. We were, as usual, waiting for George in 711.
“Oh tapos? Nag hug kayo? Di pa ba kayo uli naghohold-hands?” Ann
said.
“There was this time I tried pero nag-brush lang hands namin. Natakot
ako eh baka mabigla siya.” I said.
“Smooth ha. Hahaha!” Patch said.
“Sabi sa’yo mukhang effective yung swabe moves eh!” Tope said.
“Alam mo, I think we should go out of town for George’s birthday!” Ann
said. I was thinking the same thing too since November was almost coming
to an end.
“Oo nga! Let’s plan something!” I said.
“Uy, mukhang may balak!” Tope and Patch said in chorus. George
came holding a carton with both her hands and I stood to help her.
“Ay it’s fine, Liz.” She said. I embraced her lightly. “For you guys! I
baked red velvet cupcakes!”
“Uy your favorite, Liz!” Ann said. Ann looked at me with her “shipper”
stare and I could just imagine her giggling inside from joy. I was too. Oh my,
George still remembered baking those. Of all cupcakes, red velvet pa, I
thought.
“Oo nga no!” George said. “Sorry I was late, someone dropped by the
house kanina and I couldn’t leave. David.” I thought I stopped breathing
“Out of Sight” | Colene Arcaina
when I heard that name. What was he doing in her house? I thought. This
can’t be. Ann bumped my arm and Tope let out an awkward smile, his panic
smile, and Patch was whistling. What obvious friends I have.
“Oh David. Kumusta naman siya?” Ann broke the silence.
“He’s fine! Dropped by to get the other batch of cupcakes! He bought
three boxes. Gift daw.” George said.
“I see! By the way, George! We were thinking of going out of town the
weekend before the 19th!” Ann said.
“December to no? Haha!” George said.
“Yup!” Patch said.
“No plans pa naman for that weekend! Sure! Basta ba sa birthday ko,
we’ll still go out! Haha!” George said. “We can talk about that now!”
“Oo naman!”
***
The weekend before the 19th of December came and I was so excited. I could
finally surprise her for her birthday. Okay na lahat, I thought. All ironed-out.
Good as finished. George and I were, as usual, texting the previous night.
“Good night! So excited for tomorrow!” George said but I read “so
excited to see you tomorrow” so I replied.
“Excited to see you too!” I said. “Good night! Love you!”
“Out of Sight” | Colene Arcaina
“Aww! Love you girl! Sige, tulog na!” She said. It was a little too late
when I realized that she just texted “So excited for tomorrow”. Oh well. I
texted the rest,
“Guys, plans natin ha! So excited! Thank you so much for putting up
with all my kagagahan. But tomorrow night’s the night! Game face on! See
you all. 6am. 711! Love you loads!”
***
I carried my gray gym bag and pressed “G”. I didn’t get enough sleep but it
was fine. I thought I’d just sleep in the car. We were off to Bataan anyway.
Anvaya Cove, according to Ann. Pretty long drive.
Ann brought her black Fortuner. Patch was driving. Tope, George and I
would be at the back. Perfect, I thought. It was almost quarter to seven and
we were only waiting for George. Ang tagal, I thought. A black tinted Lancer
came and it was George who came out of the passenger seat side. I tried to
check who brought her to Katipunan but I failed to see who it was. George’s
family never had a Lancer, I thought. She apologized while loading her bags.
Patch drove. Ann was in the passenger seat. I sat between Tope and George.
Halfway through NLEX, Ann and Tope were snoozing. George was
already sleepy so I offered her my shoulder. She tilted her head so it rested
on my shoulder. She took my right arm so it intertwined with her left. I closed
my eyes.
“Out of Sight” | Colene Arcaina
“Gising na!!!! Dito na tayo!” Patch said. I woke up and we were holding
each other’s hands but I let go.
***
The place is breathtaking. The sky was a harmonious mix of deep purple and
shades of orange and the water was deep blue. Clouds hovered and we wait
for sundown by the seashore. Barefoot. It’s getting cooler. I bury my feet and
the fine sand between my toes feel wonderful and somehow reassuring. It’s
time. I give Patch, Ann, and Tope my signal. Tope stands up first and goes
back to the cottage. He says he’s getting some chips and beer. Patch and
Ann follow leaving George with me. I etch all our names on the sand and put
my name beside George’s.
“So many feelings for sunsets,” I said.
“I know.” George said. “Now I couldn’t wait for the stars! I don’t know
why, but I’m glad sunsets exist because they tell me that my wishing on
those bright stars at night would begin soon. You don’t wish at sunsets,
right?” That’s a weird comment, I think but I look at her and we laugh. Her
hair dances with the breeze but she looks far beyond the horizon. My phone
beeps. It was Ann. Everything’s ready, she says. We walk along the shoreline
for a good five minutes. We catch a glimpse of Ann, Patch, and Tope from
afar and I take her arm. Few stars are out and the only lights we see are the
strands of white Christmas lights my friends hang around the palm trees and
the bonfire they build in front of those trees. We’re getting closer and Patch
“Out of Sight” | Colene Arcaina
starts playing his guitar. Both Patch and Tope are wearing red long sleeves
and Ann’s wearing a white dress.
“Isn’t she lovely? Isn’t she wonderful?” They’re all singing now as they
look our way and I start singing as well while looking at her. From the white
lights around those trees hang a simple white cloth that says “Happy
birthday, George” in dark blue ink, courtesy of Ann’s forever beautiful
handwriting. Tope is holding Red Ribbon’s black forest lit with twenty
candles. Ann is holding a bouquet of roses. The song ends and we sing
happy birthday.
“Thank you so much guys.” George says. “I don’t know what to say!”
She blows her candles and Ann hands me the bouquet. This is it. Patch sings
“Sa Kanya” by MYMP and George looks at me holding the bouquet. She’s
frozen. Her face turns blank. The wind’s getting colder by the second and
clouds hide the stars. I take a step closer to her, holding the bouquet tighter
and offering it to her.
“Still in love, Georgina.” I look deep into her eyes and I’m closer more
than ever. I hold her hand. It starts to drizzle, then rain starts to pour. The
rain puts out the fire. The sea washes away our etched names from the sand.
“Sorry, Lizzie.” She looks down and shakes her head. She tells me in
her coldest voice, “Hindi na talaga. ‘Wag na natin ipilit pa.” My heart stops at
those words. I swallow, hoping I heard it wrong, hoping for something else.
She lets go of my hand. I shut my eyes. I try to wish for hope, for anything,
“Out of Sight” | Colene Arcaina
just anything that I can hold on to or anything that can hold me. But I am
drenched in rain and the stars are already out of sight tonight. There’s
nothing left.
***
Today’s the last day of April and I’m moving out from Katipunan. Four years
is quick, I thought. My mom’s waiting for me, and I grab my last luggage
from unit 8P. I go down and catch one last glimpse of Mile Hi as I walk to our
car.
“O ano na pong mangyayari dito?” I said. It’s a Tuesday and they’re
closed, a portion of the glass window covered with old newspapers. They’ve
taken out the neon-lit jukebox and some of the other displays.
“They’re renovating,” said Kuya Lito, one of the security guards.
I take a peek through the uncovered glass window. A white primer is
now covering that wall where our mural used to be on. I guess they’ll be
painting new ones and I don’t know when I’ll be back to see them.
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