how to play a winning hand - even when you don’t have the best cards by irene e. taylor, praxis...

How To Play A Winning HandHow To Play A Winning Hand - -

Even When You DonEven When You Don’’t Have The Best Cardst Have The Best CardsBy Irene E. TaylorBy Irene E. Taylor, , PraxisPraxis

ietaylor@praxispartners.caietaylor@praxispartners.ca

A Philosophical QuestionA Philosophical Question

Is This as Good as It Gets?Is This as Good as It Gets?

OROR

Is There Much More You Can Is There Much More You Can Get Out of Life?Get Out of Life?

AnswerAnswer

Some people get more out of Some people get more out of life than others because they life than others because they

make better choices.make better choices.

If You Are To Remember If You Are To Remember Only One Thing From Only One Thing From

Tonight…Tonight…

Let It Be ThisLet It Be This

How To Replicate How To Replicate YourYour ““MomentsMoments”” Of Perfection Of Perfection

TonightTonight

Lessons from those who do it best Lessons from those who do it best summarized by Kenny Rogers in summarized by Kenny Rogers in The GamblerThe Gambler: : ““You got to know You got to know when to hold when to hold ‘‘em. Know when to em. Know when to

fold fold ‘‘em. Know when to walk em. Know when to walk away and know when to run…away and know when to run…””

Our TopicOur Topic

Career-Life Panning:Career-Life Panning:

How to Find and How to Find and Replicate Your Perfect Replicate Your Perfect

Moments Moments

Our GoalOur GoalTo leave you with one or To leave you with one or two ideas that you are two ideas that you are

motivated to take action on. motivated to take action on.

Our Measure Of Our Measure Of SuccessSuccess

Your e-mails to Your e-mails to

Praxis Partners with your Praxis Partners with your progress, results, etc.progress, results, etc.

Praxis ResearchPraxis Research

Hundreds of high achievers in banking, Hundreds of high achievers in banking, finance, law, engineering and technology.finance, law, engineering and technology.

Thousands of hours of in-depth interviews.Thousands of hours of in-depth interviews. Thousands of psychological tests.Thousands of psychological tests. Hundreds of noteworthy achievements Hundreds of noteworthy achievements

including: academic, philanthropic, including: academic, philanthropic, athletic, innovative product/solution athletic, innovative product/solution breakthroughs, and so forth.breakthroughs, and so forth.

One LearningOne LearningSuccess and achievement result Success and achievement result

from the Ricochet Effect – from the Ricochet Effect – stimulating achievement in one stimulating achievement in one

area of onearea of one’’s life drives s life drives achievement in other areas too.achievement in other areas too.

ExampleExample

Don Jack Don Jack

Senior Partner, Senior Partner,

Lerners LLPLerners LLP

Spinning/PilatesSpinning/Pilates

Instructor and…Instructor and…

Avid outdoorsmanAvid outdoorsman

ExampleExample Lori KirwanLori Kirwan

CanadaCanada’’s leading s leading personal trainer, personal trainer, Fitness Coach, PHD Fitness Coach, PHD Researcher and Researcher and Spokesperson for Spokesperson for

The Heart and The Heart and Stroke FoundationStroke Foundation

Other Significant Insights Other Significant Insights About High Achievers…About High Achievers…

1. They are definitely 1. They are definitely NOTNOT perfect – perfect – essentially we are all dysfunctional essentially we are all dysfunctional

in one way or another.in one way or another.

2. Not born with silver spoon – 2. Not born with silver spoon – most come from working/middle most come from working/middle

class.class.

3. Adversity and struggle 3. Adversity and struggle characterize about one third of characterize about one third of

our total research pool.our total research pool.

ExampleExample

John BrussaJohn Brussa

Senior PartnerSenior Partner

Burnet, Duckworth & Burnet, Duckworth &

Palmer LLP in Palmer LLP in CalgaryCalgary

4. Unconditional support from a 4. Unconditional support from a parent or someone close to them parent or someone close to them in early years is a major success in early years is a major success

factorfactor..

5. All show multiple and repeated 5. All show multiple and repeated incidents of achievement – have incidents of achievement – have

developed a need for it in their developed a need for it in their life.life.

ExampleExampleAva Yaskiel, PartnerAva Yaskiel, PartnerOgilvy Renault LLPOgilvy Renault LLP

Exotic Adventurer/PhilanthropistExotic Adventurer/Philanthropist

Ten Most Defining QualitiesTen Most Defining Qualities& Conditions& Conditions

Assess yourselfAssess yourself: : 1 non-existent, 3 low, 5 average1 non-existent, 3 low, 5 average7 pretty good, 10 as good as it 7 pretty good, 10 as good as it

gets gets

1.1. Razor Sharp Self-Awareness Razor Sharp Self-Awareness (an EQ gateway skill)(an EQ gateway skill)

Strengths/talentsStrengths/talents

What they arenWhat they aren’’t good att good at

Their nature/personalityTheir nature/personality

What makes them tickWhat makes them tick

2. 2. ““Fire in the BellyFire in the Belly”” – Intrinsically – Intrinsically Versus Extrinsically MotivatedVersus Extrinsically Motivated

Intellectual engagementIntellectual engagement

Challenges, struggleChallenges, struggle

AchievementAchievement

Making a meaningful differenceMaking a meaningful difference

Example Example Dr. Jordan PetersonDr. Jordan Peterson

3. Above Average IQ3. Above Average IQ(raw intelligence)(raw intelligence)

Problem solvingProblem solving

Verbal skills/comprehensionVerbal skills/comprehension

Rapid learnerRapid learner

Superior judgmentSuperior judgment

4. Adaptability/Flexibility – 4. Adaptability/Flexibility – Openness (EQ)Openness (EQ)

Intellectual curiosity – e.g., reads, travels Intellectual curiosity – e.g., reads, travels

widelywidely

IntuitiveIntuitive

Future orientedFuture oriented

““Out of the boxOut of the box”” thinker thinker

Eclectic, sometimes eccentricEclectic, sometimes eccentric

ExampleExample

Robert Armstrong,Robert Armstrong,

Senior Litigator,Senior Litigator,

Ogilvy RenaultOgilvy Renault

Serious PhotographerSerious Photographer

5. Resilience to Adversity5. Resilience to Adversityand Stress (EQ)and Stress (EQ)

Views problems as opportunitiesViews problems as opportunities

Motivated by challengeMotivated by challenge

High levels of perseveranceHigh levels of perseverance

6.Interpersonal Skills, Including the 6.Interpersonal Skills, Including the Ability to Ability to ““ReadRead’’ Others (EQ) Others (EQ)

Are liked and trusted by othersAre liked and trusted by others

Gets more from others because of thisGets more from others because of this

Have great Have great ““gutgut”” instincts about others instincts about others

ExampleExampleDale Lastman, Co-Managing PartnerDale Lastman, Co-Managing Partner

of Goodmans LLP,of Goodmans LLP,

Camp Counselor/Law School ProfessorCamp Counselor/Law School Professor

7. Attractive Packaging7. Attractive Packaging

EnergyEnergy

Sense of humourSense of humour

Physical appearancePhysical appearance

8. Disciplined 8. Disciplined

Strong work ethicStrong work ethic

Gets emotionally vestedGets emotionally vested

Willing to delay need for immediate Willing to delay need for immediate

gratification (high impulse control) (EQ)gratification (high impulse control) (EQ)

ExampleExample

Jean Guy CoulombeJean Guy Coulombe

PresidentPresident

Metso Minerals CanadaMetso Minerals Canada

Example Example Jack OsborneJack Osborne

before afterbefore after

9. Strong Ego9. Strong Ego

Self-starters who take initiativeSelf-starters who take initiative

Often measure self-worth through their Often measure self-worth through their

accomplishmentsaccomplishments

High need for controlHigh need for control

10. Optimistic (EQ)10. Optimistic (EQ)

Expect the bestExpect the best

Have Have ““glass half fullglass half full”” mindset mindset

Recover quickly from setbacks and Recover quickly from setbacks and

failuresfailures

Different Profiles of Success -Different Profiles of Success -e.g., Entrepreneurse.g., Entrepreneurs

Strengths:Strengths:

• AdaptabilityAdaptability

• Stress ToleranceStress Tolerance

• OptimismOptimism

• Risk-takersRisk-takers

• IndependenceIndependence

WeaknessesWeaknesses::

• Not always best team Not always best team

playerplayer

• Impulse ControlImpulse Control

• Interpersonal Skills – Interpersonal Skills –

(for some)(for some)

The Sixty-Five Thousand The Sixty-Five Thousand Dollar Question…Dollar Question…

How to How to maximizemaximize these these qualities and conditionsqualities and conditions

in yourself?in yourself?

AnswerAnswer

It all begins with getting a It all begins with getting a better understanding of the better understanding of the

hand you have dealt.hand you have dealt.

Career Life Planning – Career Life Planning – A Five Step ProcessA Five Step Process

1. Taking Stock – Self-Assessment1. Taking Stock – Self-Assessment

2. Reality Check – e.g., 360 Feedback2. Reality Check – e.g., 360 Feedback

3. Goal Setting and Action Planning3. Goal Setting and Action Planning

4. Execution and Early Wins4. Execution and Early Wins

5. Evaluation and Recalibration5. Evaluation and Recalibration

The 80/20 RuleThe 80/20 Rule

80% of the effort and success 80% of the effort and success comes from 20% of the process – comes from 20% of the process –

Taking Stock.Taking Stock.

Ten Practical To DoTen Practical To Do’’s…s…

1. Develop Mastery1. Develop Mastery

Creativity Creativity ISIS 98% perspiration 98% perspiration

To think To think ““outside the boxoutside the box”” you need to you need to

know what is inside the box (completely)know what is inside the box (completely)

Mastery enables you to find your Mastery enables you to find your ““edgeedge””

2. Re-Awaken Your Intellectual 2. Re-Awaken Your Intellectual CuriosityCuriosity

Start a reading program that will stretch your Start a reading program that will stretch your

mindmind

Get involved in learning a new sport, hobby or Get involved in learning a new sport, hobby or

volunteer pursuit that will bring fresh learning volunteer pursuit that will bring fresh learning

and alter your view of life and your worldand alter your view of life and your world

Become an adventurer/explorer – seek out new Become an adventurer/explorer – seek out new

places and facesplaces and faces

3. Set two to three meaningful 3. Set two to three meaningful goals (e.g., one professional goals (e.g., one professional

growth, one family, one growth, one family, one personal). Attach an action plan personal). Attach an action plan

with a timetable and specific with a timetable and specific deliverables for eachdeliverables for each

E-mail E-mail ietaylor@praxispartners.ca for for follow up and reward.follow up and reward.

4. Develop Your Appetite for 4. Develop Your Appetite for Achievement - Making a Positive Achievement - Making a Positive

DifferenceDifference Take Take ““self challengeself challenge”” or Body For Life or Body For Life Sign up for a language, cooking or home Sign up for a language, cooking or home

improvement courseimprovement course Start doing random acts of kindness – set Start doing random acts of kindness – set

a goal for one a weeka goal for one a week Spend 15 minutes once a week setting Spend 15 minutes once a week setting

weekly weekly ““to doto do”” goals and review what you goals and review what you achieved the previous weekachieved the previous week

5. Breathe life and energy into your 5. Breathe life and energy into your key relationshipskey relationships

Begin to Begin to ““attendattend”” to those you care about to those you care about

““ReadRead”” them, become intuitive about how them, become intuitive about how

to make them feel cared for and importantto make them feel cared for and important

Give random acts of kindness right in your Give random acts of kindness right in your

own home and officeown home and office

Give the gift of listening and empathyGive the gift of listening and empathy

6. Become More Disciplined6. Become More Disciplined

Sign up for courses/programs that will Sign up for courses/programs that will increase discipline and focusincrease discipline and focus

Get to work a half-hour early and plan a Get to work a half-hour early and plan a meaningful, challenging daymeaningful, challenging day

Decrease passive time (e.g., TV) and Decrease passive time (e.g., TV) and replace it with reading, walks, talks, etc.replace it with reading, walks, talks, etc.

Assess and strengthen your impulse Assess and strengthen your impulse control (EQ assessment)control (EQ assessment)

7. Become A Master of Time 7. Become A Master of Time ManagementManagement

See See ““Getting More TimeGetting More Time””

Caution! Give yourself more reflection and Caution! Give yourself more reflection and

personal planning timepersonal planning time

8. Sharpen Your Self-Awareness8. Sharpen Your Self-Awareness

Complete self-assessments (even those Complete self-assessments (even those

on-line or in magazines). Remember that on-line or in magazines). Remember that

80% of the value is in the reflection and 80% of the value is in the reflection and

discussion (including with others)discussion (including with others)

Develop the habit and skill of asking for Develop the habit and skill of asking for

feedback (e.g., what should I do next?)feedback (e.g., what should I do next?)

9. Love What You Do9. Love What You Do

Develop an emotional commitment with what Develop an emotional commitment with what you do for a livingyou do for a living

Learn everything you can about the Learn everything you can about the ““starsstars”” in in your profession and all the things they do to set your profession and all the things they do to set themselves apartthemselves apart

DonDon’’t copy but learn and integrate things that t copy but learn and integrate things that play to your strengthsplay to your strengths

Get to know and understand your clients Get to know and understand your clients (internal and external) on a deeper level. Find (internal and external) on a deeper level. Find out what they value mostout what they value most

Set Set ““personal bestpersonal best”” goals for yourself goals for yourself

10. Show Others that you are 10. Show Others that you are Authentic – The Real DealAuthentic – The Real Deal

Stop engaging in any negative office Stop engaging in any negative office gossipgossip

Share your views descriptively and Share your views descriptively and candidly even when not popular, with no candidly even when not popular, with no hidden agendashidden agendas

Under promise and over deliverUnder promise and over deliver

What WeWhat We’’ve Learned…ve Learned…

1.1. ““Fire in the bellyFire in the belly”” and and self-awareness may self-awareness may

be the most be the most significant significant

pre-requisite.pre-requisite.

2. Strategies for success 2. Strategies for success (and satisfaction) are (and satisfaction) are

different under age 40 and different under age 40 and over age 50. Doing what over age 50. Doing what youyou’’ve always done likely ve always done likely wonwon’’t get you to a different t get you to a different

end.end.

3. Almost everything 3. Almost everything gets tougher as you get gets tougher as you get

older, so you need to older, so you need to work harder and be work harder and be

more creative.more creative.

4. Success and 4. Success and happiness are 99% happiness are 99%

perspiration (1% perspiration (1% inspiration). It only inspiration). It only lookslooks

easy from the outside.easy from the outside.

5. Most of our high 5. Most of our high achievers have not achievers have not

sacrificed family and sacrificed family and friends as the price of friends as the price of

success.success.

6. They have learned to 6. They have learned to value and use family and value and use family and friends as their support friends as their support

system and to keep system and to keep them grounded.them grounded.

7. High achievers are often 7. High achievers are often high maintenance, who high maintenance, who

sometimes have sometimes have unrealistically high unrealistically high

expectations for themselves expectations for themselves and others. They need and others. They need

gentle reminders and reality gentle reminders and reality checks.checks.

8. Almost invariably their 8. Almost invariably their ““starting pointstarting point”” is is

human/relationship human/relationship focused. They are focused. They are

interested in helping interested in helping someone do something.someone do something.

In ClosingIn Closing

There Are Four Kinds of There Are Four Kinds of

People Today…People Today…

1. Those Who Watch 1. Those Who Watch Things HappenThings Happen

2. Those To Whom 2. Those To Whom Things HappenThings Happen

3. Those Who Don3. Those Who Don’’t t Know WhatKnow What’’s Happenings Happening

4. Those Who Make 4. Those Who Make Things HappenThings Happen

The The ChoiceChoice Is All Yours Is All Yours