group 6: wordiness

Group 6: Wordiness

Wordiness

• The use of unnecessary words.Readers want to read technical documents as quickly as possible, so eliminate any words not absolutely necessary to convey your meaning and purpose.

Wordiness• You may not notice the wordy phrases that

appear in your writing because you have used them for a long time or have read them in many documents.

• You may have to make a special effort to spot these phrases and replace them with more concise, effective words.

• You can also eliminate some wordy phrases instead of replacing them in many documents.

Wordiness

Examples:Despite the fact that you have the opportunity to do your homework, it is improbable that you will.

Despite the fact that you have the opportunity to do your homework, it is improbable that you will.

Although you can do your homework, it is not likely that you will.

Wordiness

Examples:As a matter of fact, it is imperative that we pass this class in order to be successful.

As a matter of fact, it is imperative that we pass this class in order to be successful.

We need to pass this class to be successful.

Wordiness

Examples:A limited number of students studied in accordance with the teacher’s request.

A limited number of students studied in accordance with the teacher’s request.

A few students studied as the teacher requested.

IT IS TIME TO PLAY……..

Alternatives to saying…..

“Optimum”

1. Best2. Most

Alternatives to saying…..

“In this day and age”

1. Today 2. Now

Alternatives to saying…..

“Commence”

1. Begin2. Start

Alternatives to saying…..

“At this point in time”

1. Now2. Currently

Alternatives to saying…..

“Ascertain”

1. Learn2. Find out

Alternatives to saying…..

“It is crucial that”

1. Must2. Should

Alternatives to saying…..

“Subsequent to”

1. After2. Next

Alternatives to saying…..

“Indebtedness”

1. Debt

Group 6: Eggs & SalmonellaBefore: Although the average egg looks innocent enough, it can harbor dangerous food borne bacteria. Salmonella enteritidis is the bacteria that can invade eggs in several ways. It is not passed hen to hen but usually from rodent droppings to chickens. Egg shells can be contaminated by fecal matter. It comes from the intestines and feces of infected animals including chickens. It can be passed to the egg shell when the chickens sit on the eggs. Salmonellosis (an infection caused by salmonella bacteria) can also be passed to eggs when the ovaries of chickens silently harbor the salmonella bacteria. Then, the eggs are contaminated while inside the chicken, before the shells are even formed. Because of the recent alarm about egg recalls, the public has learned that USDA inspectors don’t check hen houses or look into farms’ salmonella prevention programs, such as inoculation. Recent inspections of egg farms have brought attention to the numerous rodent holes in the chicken farms. Rodent holes are a sign that mice have entered the buildings and infecting hens with salmonella. Eggs are washed and disinfected to deal with the dirt and germs on the shells. Many farmers inoculate the hens, but salmonella contamination in eggs is not prevented entirely by this method.

After:The average egg can harbor dangerous food borne bacteria like salmonella. The public has learned that USDA inspectors don’t look into farms’ salmonella prevention programs like inoculation. Many farmers inoculate hens, but this method does not prevent salmonella contamination completely. Egg farm inspections have brought attention to rodent holes in the chicken farms. Rodent holes are a sign that hens may be infected with salmonella. The Salmonella enteritidis bacteria can invade eggs in several ways.Methods of Salmonella contamination:• From rodent droppings to chickens. • The egg shells can be contaminated by fecal

matter. • The infected chickens can produce the

bacteria in the intestines and feces. • The bacteria can then be passed to the egg

shell when the chickens sit on the eggs. • The eggs can become contaminated while

inside the chicken before the shells is even formed.