effective communication skills for the family resource centers · 2019-11-21 · mhpe volunteer...
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MHPE Volunteer Resource – Tab 7
Skills training: Communication skills
Effective
Communication Skills
for the
Family Resource CentersKaren Varano
Brenda Smith
Jessica Feldman
MHPE Volunteer Resource – Tab 7
Skills training: Communication skills
MHPE Volunteer Resource – Tab 7
Skills training: Communication skills
ObjectivesTo consider verbal and non-verbal communication
methods
To understand and practise effective listening skills
To communicate in clear, respectful and non-
judgemental ways
To know when to seek advice
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Skills training: Communication skills
What is “Communication”?
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Skills training: Communication skills
Why is communication important?
• Important for expressing information, behaviour
and our feelings and thoughts.
• Helps to understand and respond to other’s
feelings, thoughts, knowledge and behaviour.
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Skills training: Communication skills
Messag
e
Blah, Blah,
Blah, Blah…
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Skills training: Communication skills
It’s a lot of work to
send a clear
message!
Encoding
the
Message
words, facial
expressions,
gestures, tone of
voice, body language,
etc…
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Skills training: Communication skills
Perceptual
Screens
Messag
eMessag
e
Experience
Values
Beliefs
Needs
Experience
Values
Beliefs
Needs
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Skills training: Communication skills
Interference
or Noise
Messag
e
Mess
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Skills training: Communication skills
Blah, Blah,
Blah, Blah…
So you
sound like
you’re feeling
pretty blah…
Feedback Loop
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Skills training: Communication skills
Verbal communication
• Use of words, numbers and symbols.
• Tone, pitch, quality and rate of speech carries
more weight than the words
• The latter convey the emotions and meaning,
regardless of the content of the message.
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Skills training: Communication skills
Non-verbal communication
• Facial expressions
• Eye contact, pupil dilation
• Gestures
• Body language and posture
• Proximity and touch
Most of our communication is non-verbal
(which is missing in emails and tweets)
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Skills training: Communication skills
Facial expressions
Your face can show many feelings
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Skills training: Communication skills
Eye contact
• Maintaining appropriate eye contact when
speaking with others helps communication
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Skills training: Communication skills
Gestures
• Also convey meanings
• Be mindful of cultural
differences
Waving Making a fist Thumbs up
Pointing Nodding Yawning
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Skills training: Communication skills
Body language (kinesics)
• A great deal of your (true) message can be
communicated by your body use and posture
• To work effectively with others
you need to read body
language and ensure you
are not conveying the
wrong signals
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Skills training: Communication skillsBarriers to Effective Communication
Barriers to
effective
communication
Language
NoiseTime
DistractionsOther people
Put downsToo many questions
Distance
Discomfort
with the topic
Disability
Lack of interest
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Skills training: Communication skills
Communication barriers
• Inattention
• Poor expression
• Premature evaluation
• Emotions
• Inconsistency
• Physical barriers
• Insufficient warning
• Individual differences
• Lack of feedback
• Inference
• Insecurity
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Skills training: Communication skills
People change
What we know of other people is only our memory
of the moments during which we knew them. And
they have changed since then… at every meeting
we are meeting a stranger.
T.S. Eliot, The Cocktail Party
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Skills training: Communication skills
Active listening
• Letting a person know you have heard them,
both literally and emotionally
• Encourages further discussion and checks
accuracy of message
• Active listening expresses empathy
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Skills training: Communication skills
Optimal listening
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Skills training: Communication skills
S.O.L.E.R.
• Sit/Stand Squarely in relation to the person
• Open position
• Lean slightly towards the person
• Eye contact
• Relax
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Skills training: Communication skills
Effective MHPE communication
• Prepare: Review topic and previous contact
• Inquire: Ask questions, stay alert, check
• Listen actively: Paraphrase, feed back, listen
‘between the lines’
• Evaluate: Draw conclusions, what can you do
better, plan for next time
© Commonwealth of Australia 2015
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Skills training: Communication skills
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Skills training: Communication skills
Bad listening• Makes little eye contact
• Makes distracting movements
• Faces away from speaker
• Has a closed posture (ex.: arms crossed)
• Interrupts speaker
• Does too many other things while listening
• Has a flat affect, speaks in a monotone, gives
few signals of interest
• What are other examples of a bad listener?
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Skills training: Communication skills
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Skills training: Communication skills
Listening vs. Hearing
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Listening Facts
• We think 7 times faster than we speak.– So..when we are listening, there is plenty of time for our
minds to wander.
• Hearing is not the same as listening. What’s the difference?– Hearing is merely using your ears to acknowledge
sounds.
– Listening means understanding the other person’s point of view.
– You’re processing information based on your own experiences, while listening to someone who is talking based on their experiences.
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Skills training: Communication skillsTYPES OF LISTENERS:
The Sleeper:
• has no intention of listening
• Is irritated if there are disturbances
• Eyes are closed as he sits, or
reclines in his seat.
• Seems bored, annoyed….
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Skills training: Communication skills
The Tiger:
• Is ready to pounce on everything what speaker says
• Is occupied with looking for trouble or inconsistencies in the person’s message
• Waiting to catch the person in a lie
• Has a crouching position, leaning forward and eyes flashing
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Skills training: Communication skills
Eager Beaver:
• keeps smiling and nodding
• Eyes have a strange, out of focus appearance
• Energies are directed to impress the speaker with what a good listener he or she is.
• Wants to get the meeting over with
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Skills training: Communication skills
The Shy, Bewildered:
• Has never quite found out what the person is all about
• Pained, quizzical glances from him are a constant reminder to the speaker that he has to go slowly, repeating and reinforcing information.
• Generally confused
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Skills training: Communication skills
The Frowner:
• His forehead has a perpetual furrow
• He seems to be always on the verge of a question
• His expression is an accurate reflection of His/her state of mind, not the speakers state of mind
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Skills training: Communication skills
The Relaxed:
• Stares fixedly at some object or
person
• There is little tension in them
• There are no visible means of
reading them
• Never seems to react to anything
• Is slouching in his/her seat
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Skills training: Communication skills
The Busy Bee:
• Listens while writing notes, talking
to neighbors, combing hair, etc.
• Trying to multitask like answer
emails or talking to two people at
the same time
• Will force the speaker to try various
devices to capture their attention
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Two eared listener:
• Listens with ears and mind
• Actively participates
• Reacts objectively
• Decodes and evaluates carefully
• Eagerness is reflected in body posture
• Face reflects agreement, disagreement, interest, question, approval resulting from thoughtful, objective consideration of messages.
• Always appears glad to see and to talk to the person
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Skills training: Communication skillsListening Requires
Attention
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Skills training: Communication skills
Attending Skills
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Active Listening and Effective Speaking
Elements are the Same
• Words
• Tone of Voice
• Pitch
• Pace
• Eye Contact
• Body Position
• Gestures
• Facial Expression
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Skills training: Communication skills
Words
• Is the message clear and concise?
• What are the words alone trying to say?
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Skills training: Communication skills
• The tone of voice reflects the person’s emotional state.
• Does it sound hostile or nervous, or does it sound friendly, relaxed and sincere?
• Does it match the meaning of the words?
– When there are mixed messages, the tone of voice reflects the true meaning.
Tone of Voice
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Pitch
• A lower pitch voice signifies
confidence.
• A high pitched voice can be a
sign of:
–Nervousness
–Fear
–Anxiety
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Skills training: Communication skills
Eye Contact • Good eye contact:
– Signifies honesty and
confidence
– Shows respect
– Makes others feel
important
– Creates positive
relationship
• Avoiding eye contact can
make you seem:
– Sneaky
– Guilty
– Bashful
– Frightened
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Pace
• People vary in the speed of their
speech.
• Try to match the other person’s pace.
– The other person will feel more
comfortable and connected.
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Body Language
• Body language amounts to a 55% impact on the message you are trying to communicate.
• Without body language, conversations would be boring and less effective.
• If a person’s body language and words don’t match, you may be getting mixed messages.
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How You Can Have Good Body Position
• Stand or sit at an angle toward the other person.– Standing side by side may
disconnect you from your partner.
– Standing directly face to face may seem confrontational.
• Stand or sit at the same eye level.
• Use good posture, as it reflects your confidence.
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Skills training: Communication skills
Build your “techtiquette”
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Gestures• Pay attention to the gestures of the speaker.
• Gesturing with your hands adds life and meaning to your message.
• When not gesturing:– Don’t cross your arms.
– Don’t play with your clothing, jewelry or pencils.
– Simply let your arms be relaxed at your sides.
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Facial Expression• You can learn a lot
by observing a
person’s facial
expression.
– Tension can be
seen through a
tight lipped mouth.
– Rolling eyes and disapproving
looks reflect negative thoughts.
– When a face lights up, it
creates positive energy.
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Squarely Face the Person
Open Body Position
Lean Forward Slightly
Eye Contact
Relax
S
O
L
E
R
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Skills training: Communication skills
A way of listening and
responding to another person
that improves mutual
understanding
Active
Listening
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Skills training: Communication skills
Active
ListeningStarts with
a Particular
Attitude…
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Skills training: Communication skills
Empathetic Listening
Sincere attempt to understand to other person
Pays attention to body language, tone of voice, emotional sense
Imagines things from the speaker’s point of view
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It is easy to know when you are
being empathic because:
• Your body language and tone match
• Your tone and your feelings match
• You are focused on what your partner is saying and meaning.
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Skills training: Communication skills
We listen for two
specific things
Active
Listening
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Skills training: Communication skills
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Skills training: Communication skills
Information
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Skills training: Communication skills
Styles of Responding to Others
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Encouraging
• Purpose– To convey interest.
– To encourage the other person to keep talking.
• Action– Don’t agree or disagree.
– Use neutral words.
– Use varying voice intonations.
• Example – “That’s really interesting. Can you tell me more…?”
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Summarizing
• Purpose
– To review progress.
– To pull together important ideas and facts.
– To establish a basis for further discussion.
• Action
– Restate major ideas expressed, including feelings.
• Example
– “These seem to be the main ideas you’ve expressed that are important to you…”
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Clarifying
• Purpose – To help you clarify what is said.– To get more information.– To help the speaker see other points of view.
• Action– Ask questions.– Restate wrong interpretation to force the speaker to
explain further.
• Example– “When did this happen?”– “Do I have this right? You believe your son is unhappy
because he wishes he had more friends?”
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Restating
• Purpose – To show you are listening and understanding what is
being said.
– To help the speaker see other points of view.
• Action– Restate basic ideas and facts.
• Example– “So you would like your friends to include you at
recess, is that right?”
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Validating
• Purpose
– To acknowledge the worthiness of the other
person.
• Action
– Acknowledge the value of their issues and
feelings.
– Show appreciation for their efforts and
actions.
• Example
– “I truly appreciate your willingness to come in
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Why Not “Why”?
• What does it feel like when someone asks you
why you did something?
• The word “Why” can feel accusatory to the
client.
• It unintentionally communicates disapproval buy
the staff person.
• What are other ways to elicit the information
without using the word “Why”?
– “Why didn’t you complete the required housing
documentation?
– “What do you think is getting in the way of completing
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Open Ended Questions
• How
• Tell Me About
• Describe
• What
Closed Ended Questions
• Will/Would/Why
• Are/Do
• When
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What Did You Do Well?
What Was Challenging?
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Monitoring
Our
Listening
Level
11
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What is Communication?
• What does it mean to you?
• The process of communication is what allows
us to interact with other people; without it, we
would be unable to share knowledge or
experiences with anything outside of ourselves.
Common forms of communication include
speaking, writing, gestures, touch and
broadcasting.• Wikipedia definition
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Personal Presentation
• Does personal presentation make a difference to
the way we are perceived?
• Does it matter?
• What can we do about it - do we have to look
bland and boring?
• What if our organisation has a dress code?
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The Communication Equation
• What you hear• Tone of voice
• Vocal clarity
• Verbal expressiveness 40% of the message
• What you see or feel• Facial expression
• Dress and grooming
• Posture
• Eye contact
• Touch
• Gesture 50% of the message
• WORDS … 10% of the message!
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Understanding Communication
• We are going to consider:
• The 2-Way communication process
• Effective communication skills
• Barriers to effective communication
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Effective Communication Skills
Effective
Communication skills
Eye contact & visible mouth
Body language
Silence
Checking
for understanding
Smiling face
Summarising
what has been said
Encouragement
to continue
Some questions
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The Art of Listening
• “If we were supposed to talk more than
listen, we would have been given two
mouths and one ear.”• Mark Twain
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Listening Skills
• Active Listening
• Responding
• Paraphrasing
• Asking questions for clarification
• Mirroring the other person’s language
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Responding
• Responses to check that your perceptions are
correct
• Responses to encourage further communication
• See handout for further ideas
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Individual Differences
• What individual factors could affect the way a person “sends” or “receives” a message?
• Is gender/ age a factor?
• How can we adapt if :-
• we have a problem ourselves or
• the other person seems to have a problem?
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Cultural Diversity
• What do we know about the communication
styles of different cultures?
• Consider verbal and non verbal, including dress
constraints, language difficulties, taboos.
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Constraints on Communication
• Legal Obligations
• Anti Discrimination
• Privacy Laws
• Code of Conduct of Organisation
• Confidentiality and Gossip
• Seeking Advice
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Objectives
To consider verbal and non-verbal communication
methods
To understand and practise effective listening skills
To communicate in clear, respectful and non-
judgemental ways
To know when to seek advice
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Skills training: Communication skills
Techniques
Learning the Micro-skills of
Motivational Interviewing
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OARS
The OARS are skills that can be used by interviewers to help move clients through the process of change.
Open-ended questions
Affirmation
Reflective listening
Summarising
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OARS: Open-ended questions
• “What are the good things about your substance use?” vs.
“Are there good things about using?”
• “Tell me about the not-so-good things about using” vs. “Are
there bad things about using?”
• “You seem to have some concerns about your substance
use. Tell me more about them.” vs. “Do you have concerns
about your substance use?”
• “What most concerns you about that?” vs. “Do you worry a
lot about using substances?”
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Skills training: Communication skillsClosed Ended Questions…
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Examples of Closed
Ended Questions
• Do you want to rent the apartment
you saw yesterday?
• Do you like your job?
• How can we restate these to be
ope-ended questions?
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Tips for Asking Open Questions?
►How do you …..?
►What has been your experience with……?
►What is your opinion about …….?
►How do you feel about …….?
►When do you ………?
►Describe …..
►Tell me about …….
►What would happen if ……?
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Open or Closed?
How can we make this questions more open?
►Do you need housing help?
►How many times have you been late with your rent?
►Are you satisfied with with your counseling?
►Do your kids do well in school?
►Do you need job readiness skills?
►Have you heard of our immigration services?
►Do you use medication?
►Do you have a sponsor?
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Exercise
In groups of 3:
Client Worker
Observer
Speak for 4-5 minutes on a topic of
importance to you, for example:
something you are worried about,
something that is frustrating you, or
a difficult or scary experience you
had.
Practice your active listening
skills. Pay attention to your
attending skills. Use
paraphrasing, and clarifying
questions when necessary.
Pay careful attention to the
interaction, and be
prepared to give honest,
caring, and constructive
feedback to the Listener.
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Skills training: Communication skillsMini Practice
Speaker
Speak for 1 minute on a
topic of importance to you,
for example: something
you are worried about or
something that is
frustrating you.
Listener
Paraphrase the
speaker making sure
to include both
content and feelings.
• Walk around the room, find a partner, decide who
is who, do the exercise
• Briefly discuss how well the listener paraphrased
the speaker
• Find a new partner
• Make sure you get a chance to play both roles
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OARS: Affirmation
• “Thanks for coming today.”
• “I appreciate that you are willing to talk to me about
your issues.”
• “You are obviously a resourceful person to have
coped with those difficulties.”
• “That’s a good idea.”
• “It’s hard to talk about....I really appreciate your
keeping on with this.”
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The Difference between affirmation and praise
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OARS: Reflective listeningReflective listening is used to:
• Check out whether you really understood the client
• Highlight the client’s own motivation for change
• Steer the client towards a greater recognition of her or his
problems and concerns, and
• Reinforce statements indicating that the client is thinking
about change.
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Practising forming reflections
Complete the sentence, “One thing about myself I’d like to change is ________.”
• Divide into groups of three (one speaker, one listener, and one observer).
• Speaker talks for 5 minutes or so about the issue.
• Listener can only reflect.
• Observer checks to make sure no questions are asked – only reflections are made, which are statements.
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OARS: Summarise
Summarising is an important way of gathering
together what has already been said, making sure
you understood correctly, and preparing the client
to move on. Summarising is putting together a
group of reflections.
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Skills training: Communication skillsBuild your “techtiquette”
• Emails• Use greetings, names,
salutations and signatures
• Omg – don’t eml like ur
15yo… lol :p
•Don’t use email for
emotionally laden topics
• Don’t reply all!
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Skills training: Communication skills
Personal phone etiquette Keep personal
calls private
Silence phone while in meetings
Stay off phones in meetings
Build your “techtiquette”
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Build your “techtiquette”
• Professional phone etiquette
• Answering your phone
• Agency and Department
•Your name
• Leaving messages
• Your name, agency, number (2x),
why you’re calling
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