dynamics of interpersonal relationships, continued

CHAPTER 9, PART TWODynamics of Interpersonal Relationships, Continued

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Section 2COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS

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Developmental Models of Interpersonal Relationships

Mark Knapp: 10 step model.

Other research: coming together, coming apart, and relational maintenance.

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Knapp’s Model: Initiating Stage

You are interested in making contact.

You demonstrate that you are a person worth talking to.

Superficial stage. Difficult stage for

shy people.

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Knapp’s Model: Experimenting Stage

Search for common ground.

Small talk. Useful way to learn

about shared interests Allows for “auditioning” Safe way to ease into a

relationship Provides a link to others

Information at this stage depends on the nature of relationship we seek.

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Knapp’s Model: Intensifying Stage

Where qualitatively interpersonal relationships develop.

Friendship: Shared activities; romantic relationships: express feelings directly, ask for support, give tokens of affection.

Relational excitement and euphoria!

Stage doesn’t last forever.Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor

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Knapp’s Model: Integrating Stage

Identity as a social unit. Social circles merge. Common property is

designated. Partners develop

routines and rituals. Sense of obligation

grows. Requests are

straightforward; expectations heightened.

Uncertainty decreases, which enhances attraction and closeness.

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Knapp’s Model: Bonding Stage

Symbolic public gestures to show the world that the relationship exists. Engagement Sharing residence Written or verbal pledge.

Relationships don’t have to be romantic to achieve bonding.

Important turning point.

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Knapp’s Model: Differentiating Stage

Re-establishment of individual identities.

First, inevitable feelings of stress.

Normal part of relational maintenance—key is maintaining commitment while creating space for individuality.

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Knapp’s Model: Circumscribing Stage

Communication decreases in quantity and quality.

Subtle hint of dissatisfaction grow more evident.

Suppression of true relationship status.

Restrictions and restraints occur.

Dynamic communication becomes static.

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Knapp’s Model: Stagnating Stage

Relationship: Hollow shell of its former self.

Couples are unenthusiastic, have no sense of joy or novelty.

Stagnation occurs when workers lose job satisfaction, but remain.

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Knapp’s Model: Avoiding Stage

Distance is created, directly or indirectly. Expressing detachment—avoiding the other

person altogether. Avoiding involvement—ignoring, no touching,

superficial politeness. Showing antagonism—behaving in a hostile

way; treating the other person as “lesser.” Mentally dissociate—thinking about the other

person as less capable, unimportant. Vicious cycle develops.

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Knapp’s Model: Terminating Stage

Summary dialogues of where the relationship has gone; desire to dissociate.

Can be short or drawn out.

Research: Friendship before

relationship can be predictor of friendship after relationship.

Termination is a learning experience.

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Section 3LIMITS OF DEVELOPMENTAL MODELS

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Limits of Developmental Models

Communication ebbs and flows in relationships.

Progression does not always flow in a predictable manner.

Knapp’s model: A relationship exhibits only the most dominant traits of just one of the 10 stages at any given time, but elements of other stages are usually present. Relationships can “come together” and “come

apart” at the same time. Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor

Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.

Dialectical Perspectives on Relational Dynamics

Dialectical tensions: Conflicts that arise when two opposing or incompatible forces exist simultaneously.

Dialectical forces that make successful communication challenging: Integration-separation dialect Connection-autonomy dialect

This dialectic is one of the most significant factors affecting a relationship.

Inclusion-seclusion dialect

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Dialectical Perspectives on Relational Dynamics

Stability-change dialect

Predictability-novelty dialect

Conventionality-uniqueness dialect

Expression-privacy dialect

Openness-closeness dialect

Revelation-concealment dialect

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Strategies for Managing Dialectical Tensions

Denial

Disorientation

Alternation

Segmentation

Balance

Integration

Recalibration

Reaffirmation

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END OF SECTIONCHAPTER CONTINUESIN PART THREE

Interplay

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