cortes and moctezuma

PERSPECTIVES IN HISTORY

The Aztecs of Central America and the Spanish Conquistadores

MEET THE AZTECS!

• Say “hi” everyone.

• Rulers of the largest empire in the Americas at the time of first contact. (1420s-1520s CE)

• Population: ~8 million, or the same as New York City• Empire size= 25 million

The Aztecs ruled over the land with bountiful harvests, intelligent warfare with rival clans, massive cities, and human sacrifices to keep the gods happy.

(“A happy god is a pleasant god” –Mr. Terry)

It’s cool, dude, you can have the last slice…

MEET MONTEZUMA Say “hello” (don’t be rude.)

The leader of the Aztec Empire.

Responsibilities include, but are not limited to:

• Establishing justice (laws) for his people

• Keeping the Kool-Aid filled

• Punishing those who break laws

• Keeping the rival tribes in check

• Planning military tactics to win wars.

• Expanding his empire to new and greater heights.

• Eating whole, live chickens.

IN ADDITIONMontezuma is also responsible for keeping the gods happy. He does this by:

• Conducting human sacrifices

• Making fancy speeches

• Making offerings to the gods of gold, food, slaves, clothing, tools.

Whenever anything goes wrong…:

• failed harvest, loss in war, dead babies, too much wind, too little hunting, someone spilled Kool-Aid on their Auntie’s rug, etc.

…It is Montezuma's fault for not keeping the Gods happy.

“A good king needs a good loincloth.” -Montezuma

WHAT A JOB!!!

Natives very spiritual• Gods control everything from

life, death, food supply, animal movements, wind, humans, everything!

• When good or bad things happen, the Gods did it.

• Gods are both good and bad and need to be constantly tricked into helping out humans.

Montezuma's job is to trick the Gods into helping the Aztecs.

WHAT GIVES???

WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT THIS JOB??? EVERYTHING in the

empire is yoursPS4 and Ribs every nightThat includes Beyoncé and Alicia Keyes.

Infinite powerEveryone does what you say because you are like a god.

BUT GUESS WHAT???

Aztec Empire not doing so well lately…

Weak harvests, weak hunting, nearby tribes are fighting back an awful lot.

Sad face

Montezuma tries his best to keep the Gods happy by sacrificing MORE people, dozens at a time, but nothing improves.

“Neeeeuuurrrrghaaaabuuuurg” –man being sacrificed

Reads about Aztec gods

Finds out about Quetzacoatl

• KEHT-suh-quat-uhl• Created the Aztec tribe,

gave them their land, and left.

• Giant bird with big white wings.

• Will return one day and bring about heaven on earth.

MONTEZUMA GOES ON WIKIPEDIA

FAITH = RESTOREDMontezuma gets on Twitter and tells everyone about the return of Quetzacoatl AND!!!! HE THINKS HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHEN THE GOD WILL RETURN!!! ZOMG!!!

People are psyched! Like $5 Footlong psyched!

Since things are so bad, the god must be returning!!!! Good News!!!

The Aztecs march down to the ocean to wait for Quetzacoatl...

“#heavenonearth lololol” -taken from Montezuma's Twitter page

AND

THE GOD

SHOWS

UP

“On giant wings of white”

The god is accompanied by a bunch of slaves clad in shiny metals.

Brought demon-like animals• Ride one giant demon

into battle, 4-legged.• The other lives in groups

and eats men whole!!!

Superpowers!!!• Destroy things from far

away with a puff of smoke

• Explosions, death, destruction.

Montezuma invites Quetzacoatl into the empire and gives him a tour

“Buck-AW” -Quetzacoatl

THE GOLDEN CITY• Quetzacoatl and his men are very

curious about their capital city at Tenochtitlan.• Holy city is an island in the center

of a lake• Bridges extended to allow people

to enter and exit.

• Made of gold• Jewels in the cities, golden

houses, golden objects

• Quetzacoatl and his servants interested in the local women too...• Hmmmm....

• Insists on staying inside the city at night

Quetzacoatl and his servants use their superpowers and demons to slaughter the Aztecs in their sleep.

Collect as much gold and valuables as possible, make a quick escape.

Enslave the Aztec people, Moctezuma kidnapped and murdered.

!!!SURPRISE!!!

“Haduuuuken” –Montezuma's last words

THE NEW RULER

Quetzacoatl and his servants rule the

Americas for years, forcing Aztecs and

other native tribes to mine for gold in gold

mines, work on plantations... But then they almost all die of

disease.

“If you ever felt that YOU were ugly, just take a look at Quetzacoatl here!“ –Mr. Terry while ordering new pants online with no one else in the room.

THE END

And they lived happily ever after

CHECK FOR UNDERSTANDING

①What was America’s largest Native empire?

② Who was the Aztec ruler and what were some of his responsibilities? What kinds of things would he be blamed for?

③ What are the Aztecs waiting for? What’s his name?

④What does Quetzalcoatl bring with him when he lands?

⑤What does Quetzalcoatl end up doing to the Aztec civilization?

MEET HERNAN CORTESSup!

Born in Spain 1485.

Wealthy life as a kid:

• Went to best schools

• Ate the finest foods

• Had servants

• Broke the law and never got in trouble.

• Dated Kim Kardashian (so that’s good)

But haven’t you ever thought to yourself, “Man, harming people is cool and all, but isn’t there a way to harm MILLIONS?”

HERNAN THE GREAT Was a teenager when heard of

Columbus’ voyages to the New World and all the riches, resources, people, and land.

Decided to himself that he would go and see what this New World was all about.

Trained as a soldier for years.

Stole a ton of money from dad.

Jumped on the nearest boat.

Sailed to the Caribbean Islands held by Spain (where Columbus landed, foo!)

“Bring plenty of turtlenecks!” –Cortes to his servants

BRAVE NEW WORLD

Not much happening in the Caribbean (Cuba)

Became treasurer for the voyage through his connections (AKA his Dad)

Worked his way up to “the guy that assigns slave laborers to the mines” (comes with a Bentley)

…but haven’t you ever thought “I just KNOW there are millions of pesos around here”? somewhere!”

“Ouch” – Cortes after stabbing himself in the foot for this picture

Kidnaps some Native boys and girls.

Tortures them.

Teaches them Spanish (his language).

Asks them over and over “where all tha gold’s at”

Rumors of a “golden city” off to the west, just over “that water” (points)

Told “NO” by governor but leads an expedition into the mainland anyway “in the name of Spain and God!”“When your plan sounds like a

Mr. Burns plan, you are going to be successful!” Rule #2 of Life.

MR. TERRY’S 5 RULES OF LIFE

5. Unless you are Jay-Z, women are responsible for your problems.

4. If someone approaches you and says “hey, smell this” the answer is always “no”

3. Being louder than someone means that you are right and they are wrong.

2. When your plan sounds like a Mr. Burns plan, the you are going to be successful.

1. Don’t drink urine(or if you are currently drinking urine, stop)

• 11 ships, 500 men, horses, war dogs

• Men that accompany him are mostly criminals and hardened soldiers looking for riches.

• Crashes into the Mexican coast (full steam ahead)

• Attacked by local natives, fights them off easily with his guns and warhorses

• Lets the dogs eat the surviving natives alive.

• Tears apart his ships to keep his soldiers from fleeing.

• Led his men inland in the direction of “all the gold”

Conquering America

MEET MOCTEZUMA

Encounters a great civilization called the Aztec.

Aztecs observed their landing and treated Cortes and Co. like GODS.

Amazed by their guns, armor, horses, and dogs.

Lead them into their massive empire and show them around.

“Of course I’m God! How else would I follow you on Instagram?”

Escorted right into a city of gold

Tenochtitlan- 8 million people

“Can we crash on your couch tonight INSIDE this place?”

But haven’t you ever thought, “Being a God is great, but can’t I also own everything?”

Cortes entering Tenochtitlan and shaking hands with a broom.

SNEAK ATTACK

Conquistadores sleep in their armor, wake up, murder everyone, kidnap Montezuma

Steal everything that isn’t tied down or made out of poop.

Escape and laugh like crazy.

Aztec Empire crumbles almost overnight before 500 men with armor and guns, natives die of smallpox shortly after.

Never seen a horse before, never seen a dog.

Huge advantages for the Spanish.“Should I kill this cat too?” -a soldier confused about the rules

BUT THE GOOD GUYS ALWAYS WIN, RIGHT?

Cortes and his men declare themselves rulers of the Americas.

Enslave the entire population, send Natives off to dig gold in mines.

Most die horribly.

Diseases from the Spanish kill nearly all the Aztecs and up to 200 million people in the Americas.

Cortes lives happily with more money than anyone could ever count, hundreds of male slaves and female “consorts”, and dies at the ripe old age of 62 (like living to 150 today).

“All the money in the world is great and all… but haven’t you ever wanted MORE?” –Cortes after counting his bajillion gold pieces

“Don’t Drink the Water in Mexico”

The Mexican water is…unclean.

Lots of bacteria

Causes severe diarrhea to people who are not used to it.

All the conquistadores were billionaires, but ended up living with horrible diarrhea the rest of their lives.

Locals call this “Montezuma's Revenge” since the Spanish fooled and murdered him, and thought that he was having his revenge from beyond the grave.

CHECK FOR UNDERSTANDING

1.What was Cortes’ childhood like?

2.Why did he want to go to the New World? What kind of jobs did he have when in Cuba?

3.How does he find out about a golden city? What is his plan?

4.How is Cortes’ arrival different from the Montezuma perspective? In what ways did Cortes seem to have perfect circumstances for invasion?

5.What does Cortes do to the Aztecs? What major advancements do the Spanish have?

6.What happens to the Natives in America? How does this story end?