communicating in a changing world! understanding yourself and employees who are constantly...

Communicating In A Changing World!

Understanding yourself and employees who are constantly influenced by variables

such as gender, time, and culture.

C.J.Pulvino, Ph.D. @ 2007

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Hemispheric SpecializationRight hemisphere Left hemisphere

Right side Left side

Corpuscallosum

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Hemispheric Specialization

• Verbal• Analytical• Rational• Logical• Sequential• Temporal• Causal• Linear

• Visual• Intuitive• Experiential• Holistic• Receptive• Non-temporal• Synthesizing• Spatial

LEFT RIGHT

COMMUNICATION: Hard & Soft

• Hard Side (Left) Logic

• Reason• Exactness• Focused• Factual• Forceful• Specific• Direct• Certain

• Soft Side (Right)• Humor• Metaphors• Quotes• Ambiguity• Fantasy• Hedges• Paradox• Qualifiers• Imagery

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Conscious-Subconscious Processing…Mario Conforti

• Sensing processes• Interpretative aspects• Evaluation

components• Decision-making

skills• Focused processing

• Data storage• Autonomic processing• Scanner• Buffer• Continuous processing

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Computer Model of the Mind

Sense Interpret

EvaluateDecide

Data Autonomic

processing

Scanner

storage

Buffer

Conscious Processing Sub-conscious Processing

* Focused activity * Continuous activity

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Needs…A.Maslow (1969)

• Basic physiological• Security• Social contact• Self-esteem• Self-actualization• Knowledge• Truth, Beauty

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ValuesSystematic development

0-5 years old…basic6- 16 years old…peer influence17-22 years old…break from family22 and beyond…return to basics

Family…My mother myself by Nancy Friday, Parental influence

Cultural influence…Chris, American Indians

Interaction influences…Carol, Wins & Losses

Cultural Considerations Beyond Culture, E. T. Hall

• Low-Context • High-Context

American, GermanicFuture OrientedIndependentEmerging ValuesPass on blameStoicEmphasis on verbal communicationMessage in the words

Southern European, OrientalPast OrientedDependentPass on ValuesAccept responsibilityHighly interactiveEmphasis on non-verbal communicationsMessage in the medium

Generational CommunicationsThe Fourth Turning, Strauss and Howe

• G.I. Generation, 1901-1924

• Silent, 1925- 1942• Baby Boomers, 1943-

1960• 13th Generation, 1961-

1981• Millennial, 1982 to

present

Generations: Attributes

G I : Can do generation, team work, WW veterans,retired, Grey PanthersSilent: Mentors, professionals, paucity of outstanding leadersBaby Boomers: Idealist, morally certain, political correctness, reformers, group orientedGeneration X: Latch-key heritage, children of divorce,street wise, like the basics, concrete learnersMillennial: One parent families, computer literate, multicultural, value women

TechnologyIncreased efficiency, but, at a cost!

• Cell Phones

• Computers

• Emails

• Conference Calls

• Faxed Messages

• Cell Phones

• Navigation Systems

• Instant Messaging

• Call Waiting

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Channels of Communication

GENDERGESTURESWORDS

Content… What is saidParalanguage.. How it is said

SPACE

The Silent Language by Edward Hall

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Gender Differences

Females have a tendency to ...

• be more discriminating

• use greater specificity

• be more likely to use hypercorrection

• use greater variety

• use intensifiers (very, quite or awfully)• use hedges and qualifiers (maybe, perhaps,)• use disclaimers (“I know this sounds odd, but”• use verbal fillers (hmmm, ahh, ehh)

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Communication Principles

MALESValue independence

Emphasize report talk

Talk more than women

Talk for information

Overestimate word power

Argue categorically

Argue from external data

Focus on external events

FEMALESValue relationships

Emphasize rapport talk

Talk less than men

Talk for interaction

Underestimate word power

Argue personally

Argue from internal data

Focus on personal data

Males and females develop different styles.

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Communication Principles

Males• Lecture• Seek respect• Offer information• Focus on content• Listen silently

Females• Listen• Seek to be liked• Seek understanding• Focus on emotions• Give feedback as they

listen

Males and females develop different communicative styles.

What could he be thinking?...Michael Gorian

• Women’s corpus collosum is 25% larger than men’s…more neuron connections

• Women have more serotonin and oxytocin…slows one down, tend/befriend

• Men have more testosterone…action vs. words• Men’s language in the left hemisphere…Women’s

in seven different areas

What could he be thinking?...Michael Gorian

• Men use approximately one-half the number of words that women do

• Women’s brains don’t rest whereas men’s periodically “zone out”

• At any one time, there is 15% more activity in a women’s brain than in a man’s

• The cortical area of men’s brains is larger and more developed than women’s. This enhances spatial thinking and abstract reasoning. Men typically focus on the big picture before the details.

Gestures

• Non-verbal gestures can reinforce verbal messages, negate the verbal message, or not add to what is said.

• The professional should use gestures that are consistent with the intended message. For example, when stating, “I’m glad to see you,” demonstrate that you are glad by smiling and offering a hand in greeting.

Words

Words have inherent meaning. Yet, how they are used impacts what is conveyed. For example, read the following sentences by emphasizing the italicized

word:“I didn’t say she stole the money.”“I didn’t say she stole the money.” “I didn’t say she stole the money.”“I didn’t say she stole the money.”“I didn’t say she stole the money.”“I didn’t say she stole the money.”

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Space ConsiderationsRelative distances:

Intimate 18-30 inchesPersonal 30-48 inchesSocial 48-72 inchesPublic 72 + inches

Concerns:Confidentiality, Power, Control, Emotional Security

The Office:Desk, chair arrangement, Windows, Furniture

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Interviewing Model

• Build a relationship

• Diagnose needs and set goals

• Generate alternatives

• Choose a plan of action

• Implement the chosen plan

• Evaluate the outcome

• Return to the appropriate step as needed

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Skill Areas

• Observation Skills• Pacing/Blending• Listening Skills• Exploring Skills• Focusing Skills• Indirect Suggestion Skills• Challenging /Confronting Skills

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Communication Skills From Solution Oriented Counseling

1. Scaling

2. Reframing

3. Soliciting Exceptions

4. Future Pacing

5. Quotes

6. Metaphors

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PersuasionFoundations: A. Maslow, A. Toffler, R. Cialdini

Considerations:• Attractiveness• Authority• Consistency• Distraction• Timing• Positioning, i.e..

primacy/ recency

• Reciprocation• Reciprocal

concessions• Scarcity• Self-Deprecation• Social Proof • Contrast

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References• Bennett, M.J. (1998). Basic concepts of intercultural communication.• Cialdini, R..B. (1988). Influence: Science and practice (2nd ed.)• Gladwell, M. (2005). Blink• Gladwell, M. (2002) The Tipping Point.• Gurian, M. (2003). What could he be thinking?• Hall, E. ( 1982). Beyond culture.• Hall, E. (1981). The silent language.• Hall, E.T. & Hall, M.R.(1987). Understanding cultural differences.• Lambert, T. (1996). The power of influence.• Maslow, A.H. (1954). Toward a psychology of being.• Pulvino, C.J., Pulvino, C.A. & Lee, J. (2002). Financial counseling: A

strategic approach.• Strauss, B. & Howe, N. (1997). The fourth turning.• Tannen, D. (1990). You just don’t understand.