chap clark fuller seminary youthworkers guide to family ministry

Chap ClarkFuller Seminary

Youthworkers Guide to Family Ministry

Many claim it’s getting tougher to work with, much less parent, a kid today…

Cultural and Developmental Context

A.History of youth ministry

Even in the CHURCH

C. The structure of the church

B. Philosophy of Discipleship

THE State of the CONTEMPORARY CHURCH LIFE

THE Church’s ministry to families today…Where are we now and why

does it matter to “Family Ministry”?

The State of Contemporary The State of Contemporary Church LifeChurch Life

A.A. Change in child and adolescent Change in child and adolescent developmentdevelopment

The State of Postmodern kids:

• skills needed for successful adulthood

• ongoing adult support and

guidance offered

The State of Postmodern

kids:

• skills needed

• adult support

The State of Postmodern

kids:

“…These two trends have created a serious problem in our country, indeed a crisis.”Dr. James Comer, Yale UniversityCarnegie Corporation’s Commission on Youth Development and Community Programs, 1989

The State of Postmodern kids:

• skills needed

• adult support

The State of Postmodern

kids:

The State of Contemporary The State of Contemporary Church LifeChurch Life

A.A. Change in child and adolescent Change in child and adolescent developmentdevelopment

Yet one thing is certain…it’s hard to be a kid today

Our preparation starts young…

Part 1:The

BACKGROUND

Sticky Faith:

The overall process

Understanding growing up…

Understanding growing up…

A Brief History of

Childhood and Adolescence

Spiritual development

cannot be separated

from human

development

When it comes to STICKY FAITH…

The overall processTiming and duration

Understanding growing up…

Why this matters…

When is someone an “adult”?

Understanding growing up…

Timing and Duration

Puberty Culture

14.5 16Pre-1900

1970-1980s

Today

13 18/20

11/12 mid-20s

Teenage brain

“If you think of the teenage brain as a car, today's adolescents acquire an accelerator a long time before they can steer and brake.” - WSJ, What’s wrong with the teenage mind?“ Alison Gopnik, January 28, 2012

The overall processTiming and durationChanging Stages

Understanding growing up…

Changing Stages14-15

Dependent Interdependent

1318-20

1930s-1990sIndependent

Changing Stages14-15

Dependent Interdependent

12

19-21

1990s-2000sIndependentmid-20s

Changing Stages14-15

Dependent Interdependent

12

19-21

mid2000-TodayIndependentmid-20s

early-30s?

Emerging Adulthood

J. J. ArnettJ. J. Arnett

The overall processTiming and durationChanging StagesSociety’s response to kids

Understanding growing up…

ParenTeen:An exponential loss of Social Capital from those who are necessary in the lives of our kids

Social Capital:Robert Putnam (Harvard):

Social capital refers to the “connections among individuals, [including the] social networks and the norms of reciprocity and trustworthiness…it is the idea that social networks matter.”

The loss of Social Capital…• Adults used to believe that all

kids were their kids• Adults used to see their primary

role as facilitating children becoming adults

• Adults once saw kids as assets, not liabilities (they were worth the effort)

• Adults used to “be there” for kids

How kids have been treated by adults…

The loss of Social Capital…The rapidly

increasing reality of

“systemic abandonment”

Even in the church…

The State of Contemporary The State of Contemporary Church LifeChurch Life

A.A. Change in child and adolescent Change in child and adolescent developmentdevelopment

B. The fragmentation of the churchB. The fragmentation of the church

The Fragmentation of the Church

Church

Y.M.

Cultural and Developmental Context

Church

Y.M.

The Fragmentation of the Church

Cultural and Developmental Context

Church

Y.M.

C.M.

M.M.W.M.

W.M.

C.M.F.M.

“Church”

Cultural and Developmental ContextThe Fragmentation of the Church

The State of Contemporary The State of Contemporary Church LifeChurch Life

A.A. Change in child and adolescent Change in child and adolescent developmentdevelopment

B. The fragmentation of the churchB. The fragmentation of the church

C. Contemporary approach to C. Contemporary approach to people in the church…people in the church…Individual Individual

discipleship…discipleship…

Cultural and Developmental ContextSTRUCTURE of the CHURCH

4th grader

7th grader

10th grader

Mom Stepdad

"If we preach a gospel that "If we preach a gospel that neglects the welfare of the whole neglects the welfare of the whole in exchange for the happiness of in exchange for the happiness of the individual, then the Church the individual, then the Church as a living, pulsing body is as a living, pulsing body is weakened as is the welfare of weakened as is the welfare of the family. We must recover the the family. We must recover the priority of interrelationships.” priority of interrelationships.” - Dennis Guernsey, A New Design for Family Ministry (99)

Church as FAMILY:

DEFINITION:

“Christ and kids…that’s youth ministry, Jesus and kids”

- Mike Yaconelli, Address at NYWC, 2003

The “Youth Ministry Movement” has a history

GOOD: Focused, compelling, prophetic

PROBLEM: What does it MEAN?

Safety and Gentleness(1 Th 2:7-(1 Th 2:7-8)8)

“Love one another”(John 15)(John 15)

Family Support and Stability

““Do not embitter” (Col Do not embitter” (Col 3:21) 3:21)

Social Capital

What we’re learning about lifelong faith

Comfort, encourage, and urging as a fan(1 Th 2:11-12)(1 Th 2:11-12)

WHERE FROM HERE?WHERE FROM HERE?We need a We need a ROBUSTROBUST

THEOLOGICALTHEOLOGICAL

CHURCH-BASEDCHURCH-BASED

Commitment to ADOPT kids INTO the Body of ChristCommitment to ADOPT kids INTO the Body of Christ

1. Model authentic faith

Developing Adolescent Faith

2. Encourage provocative conversation3. Lead with understand & compassion4. Comfort, encourage and “be a fan”5. Introduce them to Jesus (the real Jesus)

6. Talk about, wrestle with justice

“Sticky Faith” Response to HURTing Kids Connecting “self” to “Justice”

Kids are taught to recognize……that they have gifts/talents to make a difference

…that they have much to learn from others…that they are a lot like othersIN SHORT…grow up believing they have a place in the world

Where from here?Where from here?

1. Allow kids to be kids

3-stage adolescents desperate to know:

– Who they are (Identity)– What gifts they have (autonomy)– They are cherished (belonging)

The life-giving need for “Social Capital”

The need for developing power and voice

Where from here?Where from here?

2. Encourage all adults to “own” every kid

As pastors and leaders, it is our job to:– Equip other adults to “proactively care” for kids– Ensure that every kid is valued and respected– Help the kid know that they are capable and

powerful, and to FLEX their “gifts and callings”

Programmatically remind staff that every kid needs to be seen as a viable, valuable member of the body

Where from here?Where from here?3. Partnering adults helping kids move toward the kingdom

As pastors and leaders, it is our job to:

– Make sure adults are taught how to love a student– HOLD adults responsible for encouraging adolescents– ALL PROGRAMS MUST see adoption as the goal

Where from here?Where from here?

Implications for the church…

(Or, “Hey, Chap, what does this LOOK LIKE?)”

– Share vulnerably, but do not make kids “save” you

– Regularly, intentionally expose kids social justice

– Start slowly, take “Baby Steps,” BUT DO SOMETHING!

Model a Model a Kingdom Kingdom

TrajectoryTrajectory

What we can do…What we can do…