building trusting relationships - etouches · building trusting relationships jennifer bateman, ......

Building Trusting RelationshipsJennifer Bateman, Ph.D.National Vice President, Health, Wellness & Genderjbateman@bgca.org

To learn new strategies and practices that promote the development of healthy relationships across the Center day

Session Objective

Active Introductions

• Pair up with one other person whom you don’t know

• Take 2 minutes to interview that person about Question #1

• Write your partner’s response in the top left quadrant

• Switch roles and repeat

Provide a safe, positive environment

Create fun and a sense of belonging

Build supportive relationships

Set high expectations and provide new

opportunities

Provide formal and informal recognition

How we communicate.

How we connect with each other.

How we relate to each other

How we work with each other.

How we see ourselves.

How we feel.

How we deal with conflict.

How we make decisions.

How we cope.How we adult.

Healthy

Relationship with

Self

Self-Efficacy

Perseverance

Healthy

Relationship with

Others

Adult Connections

Youth Connections

Teamwork

Empathy

You can’t teach the mind until

you reach the heart

• The goal of all behavior is to find belonging and significance.

• Behavior is communication. There are reasons children and youth do what they do. There is a belief or a need behind every behavior. Respond accordingly.

• Youth do better when they feel better, not when they feel worse.

• Children and youth learn and become equipped for life from a system that promotes their responsibility rather than leaving it all to the adult.

• The goal of discipline is to solve problems and teach, not to make children and youth suffer for their misbehavior.

• Speak only in the positive.

• Be demanding but never demeaning.

Relationships & Behavior Basics

Behavior Management Basics

• Teach the behavior you want to see

• Give them your time

• Listen without talking

• Involve youth in planning

• Give them roles / tasks that provide a feeling of belonging & significance

• See challenging behaviors as opportunities for learning

• If you say it, mean it and if you mean it, follow through

Behavior Management Basics

• Ask “what & “how” questions instead of “why”

• Teach strategies -

• Let the youth help design and use their time out or cool off area

• “You can figure it out. Come back with your plan”

• Reflection (of feelings): I feel….Now I will….I learned…..

• Go beyond consequences / brainstorm for solutions

• Small steps. Look for progress not perfection.

• Look for, identify and encourage effort

Relationship

Building

Across the

Center Day

Transitions

Programs

Pick Up

Arrival

Unstructured Time

Practice What You PreachThe 5 Key Elements for Staff or the Optimal Staff Experience

Practice What You Preach

What does it look like for you to feel supported at work? By your

supervisor and by other staff members?

As a staff team, how do you practice relationship building with one

another?

Why is it important for you to also experience supportive and healthy

relationships at work?

Relationship Building Among Staff

Co-create the culture

• Build a collaborative

• Create a culture deck

• Time to connect – stand up meetings (Personal peak and valley, Today I

am focusing on…, I could use your support in doing…)

• Get to Know Your Staff wall

• Share accountability for team building

Relationship Building Among Staff

Learn together

• Idea labs, lunch-and-learns

• Build a culture around staff meetings; share facilitation

• Create a culture of “yes” - set the parameters and allow people to innovative

within them

Create systems for recognition

• At staff meetings – WoWs, You Rock, Pat on the Back, Affirmative Fold-ups

• High five staff recognition wall

Relationship Building Among Staff

With your group, share ideas for building relationships among staff.

What have you tried or experienced that you like?

What new ideas do you have?

Whole Center Strategies

Work as a staff team to identify and implement shared strategies for building

relationships

Build accountability

• Make relationship building with youth and parents part of the job description

• Make relationship building with youth and parents part of staff’s performance

review

Come up with shared strategies

• Staff development meetings (vs staff meetings)

• Identify key practices that all staff will use– the asset jar, staff-youth

relationship mapping exercise

Have you experienced other ways staff have been brought or come together to focus on how to better improve relationship building?

Whole Center Strategies

Arrival & PickupArrival:

Know youth individually

• Names

• Individual handshakes

• Ask an individual open-ended question (Tell me about your visit with

your grandpa)

First moments matter

• Meet & greet the kids outside

• Have a theme of the day/week with a prompt at the entry

• Active entries

• Routine for youth to identify their emotions

• Kindness jar

First visits matter

• Youth led welcome committee

• New member buddy system

Arrival & Pickup

Pickup / Departure:

Closure is key

• Say goodbye to every youth individually

• Share one thing they did well that day

• Identify one thing you are looking forward to doing tomorrow together

Engage every caregiver

• Set, share and enforce parent pickup engagement expectations (e.g., no cell

phones)

• Share one positive thing that their child did or demonstrated that day in front of the

youth

• Make parent/caregiver engagement every staff member’s responsibility

Arrival & Pickup

With your group, share ideas enhancing relationship building during arrival and departure times.

What have you tried or experienced that you like?

What new ideas do you have?

Transitions & Down TimeTransitions

Create a living physical environment

• Meaningful walls

• Graffiti walls

• Hallway prompts

• Floor decals

Engaging transitions

• Active transitions

• Problem-solving transitions (human knot)

• Reflective transitions (One technique I use to calm down…;

One person I can go to for help in my life…; One positive thing

I tell myself when things are hard…)

• Get to know everyone prompts (Where in the world would you

like to visit?)

• Build your own transitions (Harriett Tubman)

• Center theme transitions

Transitions & Down Time

Down time IS relationship building time

• Teambuilding time (playbreaks, energizers, icebreakers, community

builders; YDToolbox)

• Recognition (high-five recognition wall)

• Gratitude (gratitude practices)

• Reflection (reflection jar)

Small group or 1:1 conversations

• Open ended questions

• Ask about feelings (How does that make you feel?)

• 3 circles of communication

• Reflect back what they are saying

(So it sounds like you are…)

Transitions & Downtime

With your group, share ideas enhancing relationship building during transitions and downtimes.

What have you tried or experienced that you like?

What new ideas do you have?

Transitions & Downtime

What is one idea or strategy that you will take away from our time together today?

Using the pipe cleaners provided, create a symbol or sculpture that represents that one takeaway.