basic bipp facilitation part one texas council on family violence 10 th annual bipp conference...

BASIC BIPP FACILITATION

Part one

Texas Council on Family Violence

10th Annual BIPP Conference4-27-13

JOHN M. BEAMS

CENTER FOR NONVIOLENCEFORT WAYNE, INDIANA

jbeams@centerfornv.org

260-456-4112

(10:15)

SURVEY OF AUDIENCE

•WHAT FIELDS ARE REPRESENTED?•HOW MANY HAVE SOME YEARS OF

BIPP FACILITATION EXERIENCE?

(10:20-10:25)

OVERVIEW OF TWO SESSIONS

SESSION ONE:RITUALS FOR ACCOUNTABILITYWORKING WITH RESISTANCE

SESSION TWO:Q & A, DISCUSSION FROM MORNINGFUNDAMENTALS OF DIALOGUEPRACTICING DIALOGUE

(10:25-10:26)

But First, BEFORE WE BEGIN…

…it is important that the basic infrastructure be solid:• CCR. Participation in a Coordinated Community • Monitoring. Making safety/empowerment of battered women

foremost: groups ,BIPP design, forms, protocols and principles• Partner contact. Confidential advocate-conducted partner

contacts that including systematic, responsive and crisis: never encourage joint partner counseling; never pressure waivers.

• Staff Development/accountability system. • Written curriculum complying with accreditation• Written rules/policies on program requirements, expulsions

and completions

(10:26-10:28)

But First, WHAT IT IS NOT…• It is not therapy or anger management• It is not co-educational work• It is not addictions counseling• It is not marriage or couple’s counseling• It is not counseling or education about poor impulse control or

psychopathology on the part of either party.

(10:28-10:29)

SOCIETY EXPECTS…

THAT MEN WILL BE COERCED INTO BIPPS,MOVE PAST THEIR RESISTANCE, CHANGE PERSONAL BELIEFS ANDMASTER NEW BHAVIORS ALL IN ABOUTTHIRTY-SIX HOURS OF WEEKLY INTERVENTION.

How do we even begin??? (10:29-10:31)

SESSION ONE:

• RITUALS FOR ACCOUNTABILITY• WORKING WITH RESISTANCE• FUNDAMENTALS OF DIALOGUE

(10:31-10:32)

RITUALS FOR ACCOUNTABILITY1. Have a physical and cultural environment that

Reflects the vision of the program

• What images hang on the walls?• Do people feel like they are entering an institution or a comfortable,

beautiful environment?• Do all staff members treat everyone with care and sympathy?• Are the co-facilitators good partners?• Are male staff members sharing power and honoring the leadership

and power of women on staff?• Does the organization itself manifest hierarchy, exploitation, and

preoccupation with rules, or do we operate with compassion, democratic effort, partnership?

• Is the staff diverse and cognizant of diversity?ALL THESE THINGS WILL BE FELT BEFORE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH

(10:32-10:37)

Have weekly rituals that Reinforce foundational

accountabilityDRIP, DRIP, DRIP I liken the presence of these constant messages to the steady movement of water in nature. Water will find a way through crevices, often in the form of a steady drip-drip-drip. Much that happens in intervention groups is unplanned. But everything that is planned in every group, and every program requirement, should be like the steady drip-drip-drip of water in nature...

Weekly rituals…

…One drop of water does nothing. But, over time, the dripping can fill a puddle, a basin, a river. Over eons, dripping water can change rocks. I think that much of the change we inspire is not done through genius or innovation, or through cleverness or risky confrontation. It is done through beautiful environments and rituals that support our vision.

(10:37-10:40)

RITUALS FOR ACCOUNTABILITY2. Have weekly rituals that reinforce

foundational accountability

DRIP, DRIP, DRIP• Set chairs in a circle• Begin with a weekly centering ritual• Design a weekly “check-in” “My name is Demetrius. I’m here for grabbing,

hitting, strangling Amesha, causing her to be afraid of me, to have pain and bruises, and to avoid any contact with me, making it hard for me to have a relationship with our son. No violence this past week. No drugs or alcohol.”

• Every man performs a personal role play• Intake/exit questionnaires• Closure letters• Redirection of language, “my wife,” “girls,” “females”

(10:40-10:47)

A physical/cultural environment that serves to

Reflect the vision of the program

What changes can you make in environment and group rituals

to create a space for men that manifests a physical sensation of peace, affirmation, love, inquiry,

liberation and equality? (10:47-11:00)

WORKING WITH RESISTANCE

• Isaac: “I don’t hit no ladies,” he said. “If she’d been a guy, I would’ve clocked her. I hope my manhood hasn’t slipped away here.”

• Espoused beliefs:• Manhood means hitting people who disrespect me• A man who lets fear of jail stop him is a sissy• Don’t hit women

• Operational beliefs• I’m on probation. If I hit her, I’ll go to jail again• Maybe I’m a sissy

(11:00-11:05)

WORKING WITH RESISTANCE

• “Resistant”--a participant who consciously clings to violent or controlling beliefs, and argues for them in the group. (Rare participant)• “Fake-compliant”--where a group member is

conscious of his operational belief, but won’t claim it as his belief in group. • “Uncurious Denier”--a participant who just

doesn’t think his reaction was driven by a belief at all, since it is inconsistent with his conscious beliefs. (Most participants)

(11:05-11:08)

WORKING WITH RESISTANCE

• It is not “resistant” to state honestly what I believe. But “honesty” and “truth” are only cousins.• It is “resistant” to impose my view on

others through intimidation, sarcasm, interruption, disruption, and passive-aggression• It is “resistant” to refuse to consider new

ideas(11:08-11:10)

WORKING WITH RESISTANCE• The true resistant participant is rare, but we

are tempted to give him too much group time, when the vast majority—uncurious deniers—desperately need time to dialogue.• Have clear rules, uniformly enforced• Always instruct clearly on process• Coach resistant men off stage• Never get into public power struggles

•What else can we do???(11:10-11:20)

WORKING WITH RESISTANCECynicism and idealism are both enemies of pragmatic change.

The facilitator should• Anticipate “the rebellion of realism.” (Pose the

“real world” question before they do)• Lovingly, but consistently challenge “church mind.”• Break up “self-congratulatory” groups with good-

natured ribbing.• Not let the “elder statesman” wax poetic, but give

him enough work to keep him humble.

(11:20-11:25)

Things to remember about our participants…When they come to us, there seem to be seven qualities that keep re-appearing:1. Seeing themselves as victim2. Troubled relationship to Authority3. Stereotyped view of women and women’s role4. Rigid thinking5. Lack of functional empathy6. Normalization of violence and abuse7. Seeing nonviolence as weak, feminine and ineffectiveHOW CAN WE RUN A GROUP OF MANDATED MEN WITHOUT REINFORCING THESE SEVEN QUALITIES?

(11:25-11:30)

SESSION TWO:

• Q & A FROM MORNING • FUNDAMENTALS OF DIALOGUE• PRACTICING DIALOGUE

(1:00-1:10)

Paulo Freire“Education is Never Neutral”

FUNDAMENTALS OF DIALOGUE

EXTERNALIZING THRU CODES

ILLITERATE BRAZIALIAN LABORERS KNEW FROM EXPERIENCE WHAT A BRICK WAS…

WHAT DID THEY REALLY KNOW ABOUT BRICKS?

• Bricks are made, for profit , by someone else• Bricks are used to make buildings for someone else• People with great wealth can keep peasants laying bricks for

someone else• Bricks only become valuable when mortared in place• Peasants who question the flow of bricks can change the

world• Peasants who organize their voice can gain more power and

wealth, more justice

BRICK

BRICK

BRICK:Power, Wealth, Justice

DIALOGUE INVOLVES…

•Personally working with Love, Hope, Faith and Curiosity• Externalizing through use of codes• Student/teacher inquire together—no

piggy banks•Praxis—reflection/action/reflection

(1:20-1:125)

Paulo Freire

Conscientization (consciousness + conscience)

The process by which we bring persons to:

Reading the world as well as the word

Recognition of and liberation from a mythical world view that traps us (ex. women are objects and men are innately superior)

The Ethical Moment is when we recognize the injustice in our thoughts and actions – when we read our lives

(1:25- 1:30)

Paulo Freire’s Four Stages of Consciousness

Submerged – rooted in fatalism

Emerging – rooted in fear

Split – rooted in anger

Liberated – rooted in love

(1:25-1:30)

Paulo Freire

Praxis

Reflection with action – acting on the basis of reflection

• Reflection without action is idle talk

• Action without reflection is busy-ness

Paulo Freire

Dialogue is central –we try to

understand contradictions, seek truth instill doubt: the beginning of change.

“The end is the means in process.”

Work with Humility, Curiosity, Love and Faith

DIALOGUE:

HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT

WOMEN’S REALITY?

(1:30-1:45)

PRACTICING DIALOGUE

In triads, with one observer, practice dialogue on the question,

“How do you know about women’s reality?”

THANK YOU!!!JOHN BEAMS

Center for Nonviolencejbeams@centerfornv.org

260-456-4112