2014 bill hewlett an example of therapeutic post separation family mediation

An example of therapeutic post-separation family mediation

Joint PACFA, CAPA (NSW) & AARC Conference 2014

Bill Hewlett Clinical Services Specialist,

Post-Separation Practice

Relationships Australia NSW

www.nsw.relationships.com.au

Clients

•Children and wellbeing

Around 25% of children whose parents separate will experience mental health issues

(compared with 12% from families that never separate)

Sawyer et al, 2000; Kelly & Emery, 2003;

McIntosh, Wells & Long, 2007

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Theoretical Considerations

Attachment Theory

‘What we get exclusively from the family is love, and the capacity to form intimate

attachments...

Emotional security does not lead inexorably to good character or good citizenship,

but insecurity interferes with the formation of every social connection…

It increases the chance that we will react to others with avoidance, fear, anger and

hostility.’ Rosenblum, 1995

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One of the consequences of poor attachment, is that there seems to be less space or spare

mental capacity for accessing emotional and cognitive information about relationships.

Rudi Dallos

www.storyofneo.com.au

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Attachment Theory

A child has a relationship with the parent’s relationship.

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Attachment Theory

Neurobiology

Our focus as children, on our short term survival, has superseded attention

to all long term maintenance. This is akin to burning the furniture to survive

a freezing winter. Louis Cozolino

It is important to understand that the brain altered in destructive ways by

neglect and trauma can also be altered in reparative, healing ways. Bruce

Perry

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Unfortunately evolution has not seen fit to invest much neural circuitry into

self-awareness. Louis Cozolino

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Evolutionary theory

The Social brain, given the opportunity, is always happy to help resolve a

distressing relational situation, willingly providing data for insight and reflection.

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Cortico-Hippocampal help

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Facilitating the creation of neural pathways

Not enough stress Too much stress

Ideal learning

environment

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Key structures of the brain impacted by trauma

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Fast and slow circuits

‘J’ Curve

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The ‘J Curve’ Model

Dumb and curious form of enquiry to elicit information of intent, impact and effect on

others.

A Attunement

E Engagement and Empathy

I Intent and Impact

O What do others see?

U What else could you do?

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Contact us

Relationships Australia NSW

www.nsw.relationships.com.au

Australian Institute of Relationship Studies (AIRS) Training and Research Division

www.airs.edu.au

The Story of Neo

www.storyofneo.com.au

Bill Hewlett

billh@ransw.org.au

www.nsw.relationships.com.au