alright? alright! - sveriges utbildningsradio, ur · alright? alright! part 4 ... could you tell me...
TRANSCRIPT
Alright? Alright! Part 4 Programnummer: 41635/tv4 Sändningsdatum: 25 september Producent: Keith Foster BLIND MAN Excuse me. NORMAN Yes? BLIND MAN
Could you tell me the way to the Egganham village hall? For the… the art class?
NORMAN
Egganham art class. No problem. Go along here… straight ahead to the traffic lights, turn left at the Post Office…
NORMAN
Go along here… straight ahead to the traffic lights, turn left at the Post Office, go on for about a hundred yards, take the third left, pass the pub, cross the street…
DOG How does he think I can remember all that? I’m only a dog. Silly bugger. Pardon my French.
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I like it…but… I think the arm should be a little bit shorter. And what about the head. It’s a bit small? Do you think you could make it a bit bigger?
Alright? Alright! Part 4 Programnummer: 41635/tv4 TEACHER
Goodness…! I like it… but… I think it’s a bit too long, don’t you? It looks nearly as long as his arm. And his is not quite so red, is it? Maybe it’s a bit fat. And… and…
PUPIL I’ve never been any good at noses. TEACHER That’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen.
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My name is Caulfield, I called earlier. I represent Mr Salinger. Mr Salinger would like the largest room you have.
JULES
Oh, would he? Well, the Shakespeare Suite is free but I’m afraid it’s very expensive.
Ms CAULFIELD That won’t be a problem. Is it the largest you have? JULES
Oh yes. You won’t find a bigger one in Egganham. And the bed! Wait till you see the bed! It’s the widest, the longest, the softest…
Ms CAULFIELD OK, we get the picture. And we need another one. JULES: But it’s a very wide bed. Falstaff slept in it.
Alright? Alright! Part 4 Programnummer: 41635/tv4 MS C
I don’t care if William Shakespeare himself slept in it. I need another room. A room for myself.
JULES
Oh I see – separate rooms. There’s the Jane Austen room. But it’s rather small, just a single bed and facilities en suite.
Ms CAULFIELD Can you see the sea? JULES I’m afraid not. There’s no sea in Egganham.
Ms CAULFIELD We’ll take them both. JULES Breakfast is served from 7.30 till 10 and check‐out time is at twelve o’clock. How long are you staying? Ms C We’re not quite sure, three or four days. NORMAN Could give them the Agatha Christie room. JULES Don’t listen to him. NORMAN They don’t know where it is. Nobody does. It’s a mystery.
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SALINGER Oh my God. Who are you? FALSTAFF My name is Falstaff. What are you doing in my room?
Alright? Alright! Part 4 Programnummer: 41635/tv4 SALINGER (silent) FALSTAFF Have you been sitting in my chair? SALINGER (silent)
FALSTAFF Have you been sleeping in my bed?
SALINGER (silent)
FALSTAFF
Have you been eating my porridge? SALINGER But…you’re…a.., FASLSTAFF I’m a what? SALINGER A ghost. FALSTAFF A what?
SALINGER You’re dead. FALSTAFF Rubbish. SALINGER You’ve been dead for five hundred years.
FALSTAFF Rubbish.
Alright? Alright! Part 4 Programnummer: 41635/tv4
SALINGER You died five hundred years ago.
FALSTAFF
Rubbish, old Will Shakespeare wrote me! I’ll live for ever! Now, excuse me. I’ve better things to do than stand here talking to you. SALINGER Please don’t go, we’ve only just met. I’ve never met a ghost before. FALSTAFF Oh yes you have. There are lots of us. What? SALINGER I didn’t say anything. FALSTAFF I wasn’t talking to you. I’m just coming, Marilyn. A ghost’s work is never done.
‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐ Ms CAULFIELD Do you mind if I join you? NORMAN Ooharr, ooharr. Ms CAULFIELD Does that mean yes? NORMAN Ooharr, ooharr. Ms CAULFIELD I can join you?
Alright? Alright! Part 4 Programnummer: 41635/tv4 NORMAN
Ooharr, ooharr. Ms CAULFIELD Can I get you a drink? NORMAN Ooharr, ooharr, I’ll have a pint of bitter please. Ms CAULFIELD A pint of bitter for… sorry, I didn’t catch your name. NORMAN I didn’t say it. Bates. But everybody calls me Norman. Ms CAULFIELD Why is that? NORMAN It’s my first name. Ms CAULFIELD
I’m Zoë Caulfield. A pint of bitter for Norman and a Bloody Mary for me. JULES A pint of bitter and a Bloody Mary. NORMAN VIP is he, your Mr Salinger? Ms CAULFIELD You could say that. NORMAN Thank you.
Ms CAULFIELD But you must tell me about Egganham, Norman. You must know everything about this place.
Alright? Alright! Part 4 Programnummer: 41635/tv4
NORMAN What place is that then? Ms CAULFIELD Eggan Ham. NORMAN Egg and ham?
Ms CAULFIELD Egg and ham. This Egg and ham. JULES Oh she means Egganham, Mr B. NORMAN Oh Egganham! Ms CAULFIELD Egganham.
NORMAN Your Mr Salinger up in his room, is he? Ms CAULFIELD Yes. NORMAN
I remember when Marilyn Monroe stayed in the Shakespeare Suite. She was the most beautiful woman…and the sexiest Ms CAULFIELD Mailyn Monroe. JULES Don’t get him started.
Alright? Alright! Part 4 Programnummer: 41635/tv4
NORMAN She was here with that nice young gentleman, Mr Kennedy. Now what did they call him..? Ms CAULFIELD Jack? John? JFK? NORMAN No, no, Mr President, that’s that they used to call him. JULES Bullshit. Pardon my French. NORMAN It isn’t bullshit, pardon his French.
MS CAULFIELD What’s happened, J.D.? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. SALINGER That’s probably because I have. I have seen a ghost. NORMAN Old Falstaff been walking about again, has he? MS CAULFIELD Have you seen him too? NORMAN Oharr, I have. I’ve seen him dozens of times. MS CAULFIELD Has anybody ever taken a photograph of him? NORMAN No. Some have tried, but you can’t see him in photos. Look here. NORMAN You can’t see him in that one, can you?
Alright? Alright! Part 4 Programnummer: 41635/tv4 MS CAULFIELD You mean he was there? NORMAN Yes. He’s holding the camera.. Words Mr Salinger would like the largest room you have.
Herr Salinger skulle vilja ha det största rummet ni har.
You won’t find a bigger one in Egganham.
Det finns inget större i Egganham.
The bed is the widest, the longest, the softest…
Sängen är den bredaste, längsta, mjukaste…
Have you been sleeping in my bed? Har du/ni sovit i min säng? Could you tell me the way to Egganham Village Hall?
Kan du/ni förklara vägen till Egganhams kommunalhus?
You go straight ahead to the traffic lights…
Gå rakt fram till trafikljusen…
…turn left at the post office… …sväng vänster vid postkontoret… …go along about a hundred yards... ….fortsätt ungefär åttio meter… …take the third left… …ta tredje gatan till vänster… ….pass the pub and cross the street… …gå förbi puben och över gatan…