AlienationAlienation

PAS, Parental Alienation, PAS, Parental Alienation, Alienated ChildAlienated Child

Parent Alienation SyndromeParent Alienation Syndrome

Pathological Alignment (Wallerstein and Kelly, Pathological Alignment (Wallerstein and Kelly, 1980)1980)

Parent Alienation Syndrome (PAS), Richard Parent Alienation Syndrome (PAS), Richard GardnerGardner– Reaction on child’s part to one parentReaction on child’s part to one parent– Preoccupation with depreciation and criticism of target Preoccupation with depreciation and criticism of target

parentparent– Denigration is not supported by history of the Denigration is not supported by history of the

relationship, or is highly exaggerated response to minor relationship, or is highly exaggerated response to minor weaknessesweaknesses

PAS (cont.)PAS (cont.)– Created in part by systematic, conscious Created in part by systematic, conscious

programmingprogramming– Created in part by subconcious factors of the Created in part by subconcious factors of the

alienating parentalienating parent– Contributions from the child’s personality, Contributions from the child’s personality,

temperament, maturitytemperament, maturity– Situational factors contributeSituational factors contribute

Manifestations of PASManifestations of PAS– Campaign of denigrationCampaign of denigration– Weak, frivolous rationalizationsWeak, frivolous rationalizations– Lack of AmbivalenceLack of Ambivalence– Independent thinking (child generated)Independent thinking (child generated)– Reflective support of aligned parentReflective support of aligned parent– Absence of guiltAbsence of guilt– Borrowed scenariosBorrowed scenarios– Generalization beyond the parentGeneralization beyond the parent– Re-writing of historyRe-writing of history

Alienated ChildAlienated Child

Johnston and Kelly ReformulationJohnston and Kelly Reformulation– Parental preferences of the child exist on a continuumParental preferences of the child exist on a continuum

1. No preference- equal, full attachment to each parent, with 1. No preference- equal, full attachment to each parent, with concurrent expressions of love. Preference may shift concurrent expressions of love. Preference may shift temporarily secondary to situational factorstemporarily secondary to situational factors

2. Affinity- no difference in preference, but better “fit” to one 2. Affinity- no difference in preference, but better “fit” to one parent due to a variety of factors, including age, gender, parent due to a variety of factors, including age, gender, personality, interests. personality, interests.

3. Alignment- definitely expressed preference, but lacks rigidity 3. Alignment- definitely expressed preference, but lacks rigidity of alienation. Generally form secondary to separation. Causes of alienation. Generally form secondary to separation. Causes different reactions in each parent, either pleasure or anger and different reactions in each parent, either pleasure or anger and confusion. Alignments subside in absence of alienationconfusion. Alignments subside in absence of alienation

4. Estrangement- The rejection of a parent based on 4. Estrangement- The rejection of a parent based on credible, rational reasons, i.e. abuse towards child, credible, rational reasons, i.e. abuse towards child, domestic violence in the home, insensitive parenting domestic violence in the home, insensitive parenting (poor parenting), neglect, drug and/or alcohol abuse, (poor parenting), neglect, drug and/or alcohol abuse, anger management issues, personality disorders, anger management issues, personality disorders, etc.etc.

5. Alienation- basically the same behaviors as 5. Alienation- basically the same behaviors as observed by Gardner. Always a pathological observed by Gardner. Always a pathological response and always caused, in part, by one parent. response and always caused, in part, by one parent. Pre-separation relationship not predictive of post-Pre-separation relationship not predictive of post-separation alienation. separation alienation.

Children’s Relationships with Parents After Children’s Relationships with Parents After Separation and DivorceSeparation and DivorceChild’s Relationship

Child prefers contact with both

parents

Child prefers contact with One

Parent(ambivalence evident)

Child rejects one parent

(No Ambivalence)

Positive relationship

with both

Affinity With one

parent

Alliance with one parent

Estrangement from one parent

Estrangement from one

parent

Alienated from one parent

Realistic estrangement Pathological alienationRealistic estrangement

Techniques of alienating parentsTechniques of alienating parents– Deny existence of other parentDeny existence of other parent– Passive-aggressive, indirect attacks on other Passive-aggressive, indirect attacks on other

parentparent– Use the child as middle man by talking Use the child as middle man by talking

negatively about other parent when an incident negatively about other parent when an incident occursoccurs

– Blame other parent with little evidenceBlame other parent with little evidence– Ask the child “moral questions” that negatively Ask the child “moral questions” that negatively

reflect on parentreflect on parent

Child VulnerabilitiesChild Vulnerabilities– Child in black/white stage of moral developmentChild in black/white stage of moral development– Dependent childDependent child– Low self-esteemLow self-esteem– Age relatedAge related– Prior psychological problemsPrior psychological problems– Insecure attachmentsInsecure attachments– EnmeshedEnmeshed

Normal reactions to divorce that include temporary Normal reactions to divorce that include temporary alienation or preferences (Warshak, 2002)alienation or preferences (Warshak, 2002)– Temporary adjustment reactionsTemporary adjustment reactions– Separation AnxietySeparation Anxiety– Temperamental issues related to the child, i.e. shyness, Temperamental issues related to the child, i.e. shyness,

anxious, oppositionalanxious, oppositional– Conflict avoidanceConflict avoidance– Role reversal and emotional supportRole reversal and emotional support– Situation-specific reactions, i.e. new paramour, affinitiesSituation-specific reactions, i.e. new paramour, affinities– Parent-child partnerships, i.e. alignmentsParent-child partnerships, i.e. alignments

Parent Alienation and Attachment Parent Alienation and Attachment TheoryTheory

Benjamin Garber, 2004, Journal of Child CustodyBenjamin Garber, 2004, Journal of Child Custody– Alienation presupposes a bond between parent and Alienation presupposes a bond between parent and

childchild– Attachment is dynamic and adaptive relationship Attachment is dynamic and adaptive relationship

specific to each care-giver and childspecific to each care-giver and child– Child uses relationship to establish securityChild uses relationship to establish security– Attachments are not same, and offer different levels of Attachments are not same, and offer different levels of

securitysecurity– The quality of attachment security is flexible, adaptive The quality of attachment security is flexible, adaptive

and caregiver specificand caregiver specific

– Early attachment does not predict later behavior Early attachment does not predict later behavior when there have been intervening changes in when there have been intervening changes in parenting qualityparenting quality

– Changes in parenting quality causes less Changes in parenting quality causes less adaptive behavior, changes to more sensitive adaptive behavior, changes to more sensitive parenting may increase infant attachment parenting may increase infant attachment securitysecurity

– Internal Working Models accommodate new Internal Working Models accommodate new information from more varied sources as a child information from more varied sources as a child maturesmatures

– New information about an individual is either consistent New information about an individual is either consistent or inconsistent with the IWM of the childor inconsistent with the IWM of the child

– If information is inconsistent it is either assimilated If information is inconsistent it is either assimilated (disregarded, does not change the IWM) or (disregarded, does not change the IWM) or accommodated (reshapes the IMW)accommodated (reshapes the IMW)

– If accommodated information makes the child feel more If accommodated information makes the child feel more secure, it is “Aligning”secure, it is “Aligning”

– If accommodated information makes the child feel less If accommodated information makes the child feel less secure, it is “Alienating.” secure, it is “Alienating.”

– In normal, healthy family, such information and In normal, healthy family, such information and accommodation help with safety and identificationaccommodation help with safety and identification

– New Information coming from the caregiver is New Information coming from the caregiver is accommodated by the child through self-reflection and accommodated by the child through self-reflection and may be aligning or alienating. Thus a given caregiver may be aligning or alienating. Thus a given caregiver can affect the attachment relationship with their child by can affect the attachment relationship with their child by actions and words.actions and words.

– Information from outside parties can affect the IWM of Information from outside parties can affect the IWM of the child, either to create greater security (alignment) or the child, either to create greater security (alignment) or lesser security (alienation)lesser security (alienation)

– Coparent alignment is the healthy, mutually supportive Coparent alignment is the healthy, mutually supportive dynamic of parents reinforcing the security of the dynamic of parents reinforcing the security of the attachments of their child with each parentattachments of their child with each parent

– Coparent alienation occurs when a parent’s words or Coparent alienation occurs when a parent’s words or actions decrease the security of attachment of a child actions decrease the security of attachment of a child and the other parent.and the other parent.

– Impact of accuracy of the messageImpact of accuracy of the message If the message is accurate, the change in the IWM and If the message is accurate, the change in the IWM and

subsequent relationship is appropriate, i.e. if a parent reassures subsequent relationship is appropriate, i.e. if a parent reassures a child about a sensitive parent, their security (and alignment) is a child about a sensitive parent, their security (and alignment) is enhanced. Similarly, if a parent discusses safety issues about enhanced. Similarly, if a parent discusses safety issues about an abusive parent, the child’s “estrangement” (decreased an abusive parent, the child’s “estrangement” (decreased security) is accurate. security) is accurate.

Inaccurate messages create multiple problems. An inaccurate Inaccurate messages create multiple problems. An inaccurate endorsement of an insensitive, abusive parent creates a endorsement of an insensitive, abusive parent creates a misalignment. Inaccurate denigration of a sensitive, misalignment. Inaccurate denigration of a sensitive, appropriate parent causes “alienation.”appropriate parent causes “alienation.”

Alienation: Related IssuesAlienation: Related Issues

Impact on ChildrenImpact on Children– Feelings of loss; of targeted parent, possibility Feelings of loss; of targeted parent, possibility

of both parents, extended family, communityof both parents, extended family, community– Shame as adults at their behavior and rejectionShame as adults at their behavior and rejection– Guilt over behavior, and over consequences of Guilt over behavior, and over consequences of

courtroom testimonycourtroom testimony– Omnipotence and Empowering because of Omnipotence and Empowering because of

recognition of power and manipulationrecognition of power and manipulation– Lowered self-esteem secondary to internal Lowered self-esteem secondary to internal

conflict and awarenessconflict and awareness

Protective Factors for Children (Warshak, Protective Factors for Children (Warshak, 2002)2002)– On-going physical and psychological contact On-going physical and psychological contact

between the child and Target parentbetween the child and Target parent– A positive, prior relationship between Target A positive, prior relationship between Target

parent and childparent and child– An independent, assertive, resilient, non-An independent, assertive, resilient, non-

anxious childanxious child– A target parent who is sensitive, non-defensive A target parent who is sensitive, non-defensive

and supportiveand supportive

Treatment of resistant childrenTreatment of resistant children– ControversialControversial– Depends on attitude about the dynamicDepends on attitude about the dynamic– Use of coercive court orders for treatmentUse of coercive court orders for treatment– Ordering contact between children and Ordering contact between children and

estranged parentsestranged parents– Reversing custody of alienated childrenReversing custody of alienated children– ““Deprogramming”Deprogramming”– Letting nature take its courseLetting nature take its course

Option 1, Reunification/ReintegrationOption 1, Reunification/Reintegration– Allow custody to remain with the favored parent, Allow custody to remain with the favored parent,

but Court ordered parent-child therapy with the but Court ordered parent-child therapy with the target parent. target parent. Overt resistance to treatment from childOvert resistance to treatment from child Lack of motivation to support from favored parentLack of motivation to support from favored parent Financially expensiveFinancially expensive Therapy makes matters worseTherapy makes matters worse

Option 1.Option 1.– Better for less severe casesBetter for less severe cases– Less acutely stressful for the children than Less acutely stressful for the children than

options 2 and 3options 2 and 3– Implies favored parent is better suited to meets Implies favored parent is better suited to meets

needs of the childneeds of the child

Option 2, Environmental ModificationOption 2, Environmental Modification– Custody is given to the target parent and Custody is given to the target parent and

therapy is ordered for the child-parent, but therapy is ordered for the child-parent, but contact is allowed with the favored parentcontact is allowed with the favored parent Child needs protectionChild needs protection Alienation is clearly secondary to favored parentAlienation is clearly secondary to favored parent Favored parent would sabotage Option 1Favored parent would sabotage Option 1 Child needs concentrated time with target parent to Child needs concentrated time with target parent to

insure relationshipinsure relationship

Option 2.Option 2.– Use takes the responsibility of the custody Use takes the responsibility of the custody

decision off the childdecision off the child– May create greater motivation to get over May create greater motivation to get over

negative attitudes and beliefsnegative attitudes and beliefs– Direct contact confronts irrational, unrealistic Direct contact confronts irrational, unrealistic

beliefsbeliefs– Creates a foundation of positive, shared Creates a foundation of positive, shared

experiences to build upon experiences to build upon

Option 2.Option 2.– Removed child may be vulnerable to, and suffer Removed child may be vulnerable to, and suffer

significant emotional trauma secondary to significant emotional trauma secondary to changechange

– Child may act-out and attempt to defy OrderChild may act-out and attempt to defy Order– If quickly reversed, child may learn to disrespect If quickly reversed, child may learn to disrespect

the law and be empoweredthe law and be empowered– Rather than overcome alienation, child may Rather than overcome alienation, child may

simply feel helpless and acquiescesimply feel helpless and acquiesce– Long-term adjustment must be consideredLong-term adjustment must be considered

Option 3, Outside PlacementOption 3, Outside Placement– Child is placed away from both parents at a Child is placed away from both parents at a

boarding school, distant relative, foster facilityboarding school, distant relative, foster facility Child not caught between two negative forcesChild not caught between two negative forces Issues of Option 2 exist, but either target parent not Issues of Option 2 exist, but either target parent not

ready for custody, or neither parent offers a safe ready for custody, or neither parent offers a safe optionoption

Good option for adolescentsGood option for adolescents May create financial burdens that cannot be May create financial burdens that cannot be

overcomeovercome

Option 4, ParentectomyOption 4, Parentectomy– The child is allowed to terminate their The child is allowed to terminate their

relationship with the target parentrelationship with the target parent Reduces long-standing stress on childReduces long-standing stress on child Follows multiple failures by other optionsFollows multiple failures by other options Parent can no longer “afford” the fight, emotionally, Parent can no longer “afford” the fight, emotionally,

financially, socially, familyfinancially, socially, family

Option 4Option 4– May lead to feelings for child of parental May lead to feelings for child of parental

abandonmentabandonment– Child may learn to avoid conflict rather than find Child may learn to avoid conflict rather than find

solutionssolutions– Child’s irrational beliefs are reinforcedChild’s irrational beliefs are reinforced– Child given inappropriate sense of entitlement Child given inappropriate sense of entitlement

Questions:Questions:– Should parents and children be coerced into Should parents and children be coerced into

treatment, processes or schedules which they treatment, processes or schedules which they oppose?oppose?

– Should rights and responsibilities of parents be Should rights and responsibilities of parents be challenged?challenged?

– Should children have a right to self-Should children have a right to self-determination?determination?

– How do we define emotional abuseHow do we define emotional abuse– At what level is alienation equal to “abuse?”At what level is alienation equal to “abuse?”