afro/latino issue 171

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FEATURED FEATURED Inside Inside

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Afro/Latino

Parade &

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June 11th

Love Analytix

Shires Carroll

I’ve figured

women out

Soloman

Health News

Living With

AIDS

Afro/Latino 5th

Annual White

Party

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From the Publisher… The Longest Running Minority MagazineFrom the Publisher… The Longest Running Minority Magazine

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Fake ASS Ballers: 13 Ways to Spot 'Em I recently went on a date

with a fellow whom, for two months, had pulled

every trick out of his hat until I finally agreed to

meet him. Plans for a night in NYC filled with

dinner and bowling seemed like a very prom-

ising first date. *Record scratch* However, it

took a terrible turn when the same guy who

picked me up in a 2010 Range Rover wearing

Boss Black and smelling like Gucci asked me to foot the bill at the end of the night.

Whaaat? It wasn't like I didn't have it, but wasn't he was the one who

had requested to take me out, not the other way around? What made matters worse was that the whole night, his braggadocio de-

meanor would have had anyone thinking he had more money than Bill Gates himself. So when I asked him why he felt it was okay for

me to pick up the tab, his response - "I didn't think bowling would be $200" - was priceless.

It was his idea to go to the city, his idea to VIP bowl and his idea to

drink like a fish, so I wasn't at all shocked by the price tag. I was shocked, however, that I had run into one of the most annoying type

of guys - a fake baller.

Real ballers, a term usually reserved for a financially successful man, are known to be confident, swagglicious and, of course, financially

secure. On the other hand, fake ballers are like a great knockoff Louis bag: The differences are subtle, but more times than

not, they only have one, maybe two, of the three "baller" prerequisites and overcompensate for the lack of being fi-

nancially secure with being flashy. The type of guy who always talks about the money he has, looks like a million bucks, but really

doesn't have anything at all.

Fake ballers exist because, whether we like to admit it or not, many women have gold-digger tendencies. Fake ballers be-lieve that being flashy and fly with their rent money in their pockets is the best method to reel a woman in. What's funny is that fake ballers (and, most times, true ballers) can't use money, or even the idea of it, to get a woman. Fake ballers, in particular, prey on women they deem materialistic and those easily impressed by their lame hoodrich stories of wealth.

Real women, on the other hand, aren't impressed by a man that has $10,000 of jewelry on his wrist but rides on the passenger side of his best friend's ride. When a woman has already had eyes open to the many things life has to offer, trying to be a flashy baller will always look cheap. Money, cars and clothes may impress the shallow, but makes a woman of substance bored. Fake ballers disregard women who put in work to do financially well for herself, and only want someone who is able to complement (not create) the lifestyle she has already began to build for herself.

Fake ballers, even more so fake people, in general, must be avoided, and when you run across someone who would rather be someone they really aren't, run the other way. Ladies, in case you haven't mastered being able to spot them, here are 13 signs to help you out:

1. He asks how much something costs before he orders it. If he tells you to get whatever you want - but when you order a simple drink, he asks the bartender how much it is before she pours - pay for your own drink and leave.

2. His excuse for not having something is always because he had it years ago. If you heard him say, "I had the iPhone 4 in its beta stage back in the day, so I'm waiting for something new to come out," to explain why he doesn't have any type of cell phone now, be very suspicious.

3. His only vacation spots have been Miami or Vegas. It's been five months now, and he's still talking about how he "just came back from Vegas for the fight." Chile...

4. He never puts you on to anything new. If he says he has the best Italian resturant in mind and you end up at Olive Garden, or he's always impressed by your date choices, he's not balling.

5. He has a designer wallet with nothing in it. If a driver's license and 40 singles are the only things to make his Gucci wal-let look bulky, suggest he sell the wallet.

6. He only wants to hang out on "house dates." When you said you'll come over to watch a movie, he was all for it, but when you changed your mind and said you would rather make a trip to the theatre to catch a movie, he suddenly had a change of heart.

7. He drives the newest cars, but has no home. He picks you up in a Beamer, Benz or Bentley, but lives in the same room he grew up in - with his mama and 56-inch flat screen.

8. He loves to make jokes about you paying when the bill comes. No matter how much he swears he was joking when the bill came and he asked you, "You got this?" understand he's really hoping you say yes.

9. He wears a ton of jewelry, but doesn't have a 401K. A real baller focuses on the future of their wealth and invests in things that have real returns - not $11,000 chains.

10. He's always concerned about your money. If he's asking you if you get paid weekly or biweekly and "about how much," be concerned.

11.He's asked you to put something on your credit card, with the prom-ise to give you the cash later. Real ballers manage their money well enough to have credit lines and good credit.

12. He never wants to break a large bill. He pulls out the same three $100 dollar bills that have been sitting in his wal-let for a month, and asks you to pay for the movie, because "he doesn't have anything small." Fake.com. 13. He pronounces certain (read: "fancy") words incorrectly. If the dude pronounces Merlot with the "t" (mer-loT) and says he's been to Turks and Cactus (Caicos), he's a fraud.

Ladies: Have you encountered a fake baller?

Shirea L. Carroll is

HEALTH NEWS


Tickets call

484-256-7258


My name is Solmarie Sena, and I am an armature Latina author. I am of

Puerto Rican/Dominican decemt. I was born and raised in Reading,PA.I am

21 years old and I have had a interest in writing since I learned to write in

second grade keeping journals and writing short stories.In my teens I en-

joyed writing poetry and freewriting. I only recently put out my first fiction

novel In Death & Desire available in ebook, which is to be part one of my

GHOSTHOUSE trilogy. This ebook is compatible to most devices including

ereaders(kindle,Kobo, ext.), for your mobile smartphone, or right off your

computer! This book is an erotic tale of a lonely desperate damsel who falls

in love with the sadistic spirit who resides in her home. This story takes

you on a wild ride of both these characters' psychological being. Trust me it

is definitely out there. Its to be read with an open mind. This book will be

available soon in print and I will post it to those who follow my pages as

soon as they do. I am a jobcorps graduate and currently am a student at RACC studying for my

Nursing Degree. I work full time taking care of dementia patients, and last but not

least I am also a mother of two. I am just starting my career and call myself an ar-

mature writer because I have so much more to learn. The world we live in offers

much knowledge and I'm ready to suck it all in!

Solmarie Sena

Afro/Latino

1101 Chestnut St. Reading. Pa, 610-373-7246

Happy Hour

8 -10

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Specials Open on Sundays

My husband has

been having an

18-year-long af-

fair with an older

woman. I am his

second wife and

have only been

married to him

for five years. Af-

ter catching him

red handed through cell phone calls, he had no

choice but to admit his cheating. He has told

me every last terrible detail of the affair and it

is killing me. I don't know if I will ever get over

this or if this marriage will make it. He has

since ended it with her and wants to make it

work between us. I don't know if I can. Help!

-LisaLet me get this straight. He has been cheating

and disrespecting you for your entire relationship and

marriage, and now he wants you to give him the re-

spect he never gave you? He wants you to trust that

he has actually ended it with his lover and now wants

to make it work with you? If he is so committed to

your marriage and wants to make it work, why didn't

he end the affair before he got caught? It's way too

little, way too late. Your husband didn't want to give

up his cheating lifestyle for you and he is only choos-

ing to do it now because of the threat of losing every-thing. What makes him any different from the man

who has been betraying your trust and putting you at

risk for the last five years? Nothing. As for making it

work, do you want to spend the next three years in

marriage counseling rebuilding the trust, love, and in-

timacy that he so easily squandered? An 18-year affair

means he cheated on his first wife, cheated on his

second wife and probably cheated on a handful of

other women. Do you really believe he is ready to

become a faithful husband?

I have been with this man for eight months

and just recently caught him on the phone

with his ex-wife. They were having phone sex.

About four months after we started dating I

confronted him about phone calls he was get-

ting late at night. He told me it was his crazy

ex, but that he ignores her calls and in time

she would go away. I asked him why he didn't

just put his foot down and make it clear to her

that he's moved on and she needs to stop call-

ing. He said he owed her some money from

the divorce, and, just like any bill collector, she

will always find a way to hunt him down until

that money is paid off. I gave him the benefit of

the doubt, since I had no evidence that it could

be anything else. It seems that this has proba-

bly been going on all along. It has devastated

me and I have so many unanswered questions.

Was it bad timing? Was he not ready for a se-

rious relationship like I was?

Why couldn't he be honest from the beginning

if he was not over his ex? I would have gotten

out of the picture from the start. It has only

been a week, but I have yet to get a phone call

apologizing for what has happened. Does this

mean he really is a liar and a cheater and there

just isn't any hope for a relationship?

-Iris

There are no amount of answers that are going to

soothe the wound that this man has inflicted upon

your heart. He is a liar and a cheater, and his un-

apologetic actions are sending you the message that

he doesn't care. This is selfish, hurtful behavior that

was done consciously, which lets you know just how

much he values you. I know you are in a lot of pain,

but you will heal and move past this. Don't waste any

more of your precious energy and love on this man.

End the relationship now and spend the next six

months focused on healing yourself. There are mil-

lions of men in the world that are faithful, trustwor-

thy and ready for a relationship with one woman, so

throw this one back in the sea and keep fishing.

Luv Coach Q&A: Catching Him With His Pants Down

Follow Rebecca Brody on Twitter @LuvCoach

http://www.twitter.com/luvcoach

Afro/Latino Magazine as a part of the community we are obligated to inform, encourage, motivate, Afro/Latino Magazine as a part of the community we are obligated to inform, encourage, motivate, Afro/Latino Magazine as a part of the community we are obligated to inform, encourage, motivate, empower and educate our citizens on the facts and deempower and educate our citizens on the facts and deempower and educate our citizens on the facts and de---myth any and all misleading, negative, untrue myth any and all misleading, negative, untrue myth any and all misleading, negative, untrue

and fraudulent information floating in our neighborhoods that are meant to disenfranchise our and fraudulent information floating in our neighborhoods that are meant to disenfranchise our and fraudulent information floating in our neighborhoods that are meant to disenfranchise our people.. people.. people..

NO PART OF AFRO/LATINO Magazine may be reproduced without the express written permission from

the Publisher. AFRO/LATINO Magazine is a Registered Trade Mark. Thank you. Earl Lucas

afro/latino issue 171

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