adding value in your marriage

ADDING VALUE IN YOUR MARRIAGE Many times the success of a marriage is dependent upon whether or not each spouse chooses to value the other highly.

Tuesday, April 11, 2023

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God desires us to have fulfilling marriages.

Everything begins in the home, in the family. Remember this truth: The things we treasure have value to us, and the things that have value, we treat with respect.


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The real secret to improving our marriages is learning to value our mates. How do you value your mate? You value your mate in the way you treat him or her in the small things.


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In I Peter 3:7, the Bible tells us that a woman needs to be highly valued to operate properly. It says, “Husband, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.” She will never meet your needs or expectations unless she is highly valued.Tuesday, April 11, 2023

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In Ephesians 5:25-28; This scripture says, “25. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26. that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27. that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.”


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In Ephesians 5:22-24; It says, “22. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”


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These commands to both husbands and wives in Ephesians 5:22-33 do not come with conditions or exceptions.


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A real life of faith is a life in which we can treat others with respect, honor, decency, love, kindness, and tenderness, even when we do not see it. You see, we build and increase value. We do not increase value by trying to decrease others, by putting them down, or by being angry with them.


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The key to is to learn how to increase the value of our mates. As we learn how to increase the value of our mates, we increase our ability to deal with anger. One problem is that when people do not see enough value, they attempt to straighten that person out by using anger.


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What do you do when you see no value in your mate? You must create value. Where you see no value or little value, you must create it. In creating value in your mate, you must speak those things as though they are, even when they are not. Instead, most people just give up. They criticize what they do not like and end up devaluing their mates instead of creating value. Tuesday, April 11, 2023

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Let us look at three ways we can increase the value of our mates. We create value in the following ways: 1. We speak value; 2. We treat others with value; 3. We acknowledge God’s value. If the church, if husbands and wives, would do this and live it, we would have some powerful homes and families.


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1. First, in order to increase value, we speak value.

The most powerful way we can create value is to speak value. It is so important that we learn to speak the right thing. It is important in the home and family that we speak things that are beneficial, not harmful. We should speak things that build up family members, not tear them down.


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Prov. 14:1 says, “A wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.” This says that a wise woman does everything she can to encourage and build up her family by what she says with her mouth. She is increasing their value. But a foolish woman, with the words of her own mouth, will tear her husband down and, in the process, tear her children down.


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Husbands and wives should never speak evil of one another. Even if they disagree, husbands and wives should still back each other up in front of the children. We should always speak words of encouragement, building up and increasing the value of the other person at all times and in all situations.


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How many of you have spoken value, increased the value, of other people? Speaking value to other people makes them want to be a better person. Some people think they can criticize and condemn their mates into being who they want them to be. It is guaranteed that it will not work. All it will do is to drive them farther away.


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How do we speak value to someone? Husbands and wives can speak value to their mates in front of their children and also when they are not around. Notice that this encourages our children that the marriage is secure.


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2. The second way to increase value is to treat others with value. Husbands and wives can give

their spouses flowers, take them out to eat, just do little things that can show that person their appreciation. When you give value, or increase value, in the other person, then that person wants to be a better person.


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Philippians 2:2-3 says, “2. Fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. 3. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.”


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We create value in our mates by treating them with value. God’s way is to treat them as if they had more value than they actually do. This is acting in faith. Acting in faith is creative because it activates the supernatural power of God to motivate your mate to be better than he or she has been up to that point.


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The real danger in a relationship is to reach a “dead zone.” This happens after repeated unresolved conflicts, repeated disappointments, neglected communications, and giving up by one or both of the marriage partners.


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In Ephesians 4:26b we are told not to “. . . let the sun go down on your wrath.” When we do not do this, we simply stop trying to do the things necessary to make a successful marriage.


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Proverbs 24:10 warn us, “If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small.” We need more tenacious Christians who can endure. We can expect the world to give up easily, but God’s people have abilities in the Holy Spirit that the world does not have.

We can also treat our mates with value by reassuring them that we are totally committed to them. We can do this by our actions towards the opposite sex.


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We can increase the value of our relationships by building common interests and common ministries that we can both be involved in. Both people in a marriage must work at this. When both parties in a marriage have things that they love doing together, then the marriage relationship increases in value.Tuesday, April 11, 2023

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3. Third, we create greater value when we acknowledge the value that God has given to us.

Every person should treat others with value because we are all created in God’s own image. God has placed great value on each of us, demonstrated by His willingness to sacrifice His life for us.


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Unfortunately, our society today lacks a respect for life. However, the word of God says that our origin is that we are created in God’s own image. That is our origin. We are precious and valued.


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We can also acknowledge our value by acknowledging the price that Jesus paid for our salvation. What kind of price was paid? It was the highest price possible. God loves you and cares for you and esteems you highly.


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You are fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s own image. In your mother’s womb, you had value. You have value today. People sometimes have no hope and want to give up, but the word of God says that you are valuable. Every human being is valuable, has worth. That teaches me that I should treat everyone with value and decency and respect.


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The principle of the Kingdom has always been to give with no thought of getting anything back in return. When we do this, we are blessed as we act in faith. That is because we actually create value when we do it, and the more we do it, the more value we create for the other person. Tuesday, April 11, 2023

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We grow in love with our mate more and more as the years go by because we have invested so much value into the other person, and they, in turn, have invested so much value in us.


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Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.”

Philippians 2:3 says, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.” Tuesday, April 11, 2023

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God is telling us to value others highly. This can easily be applied in the marriage. Many times the success of a marriage is dependent upon whether or not each spouse chooses to value the other highly.


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God’s plan is so simple. God’s plan is for us to live a life of increasing the value of other people, our mate, our loved one, our friends.


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We can change. God can change hearts. We serve a God of miracles. God can restore relationships. Where you cannot, God can. God can and will do awesome and mighty things in our lives if we will just say, “God, I want to make a change in my life. I am tired of feeling this way.


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I am tired of being this way. I am tired of acting this way.” Some of you are so tired of being angry that you are angry at yourself. Some people are mean to others just because they are angry at themselves. It is time that you acknowledge that you have great value. God loves you and cares for you.Tuesday, April 11, 2023

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Remember that learning to deal with the problem of anger begins with learning to increase the value of your mate and the people around you. You will never treat people with respect until you learn to live a life in which you are continuously increasing the value of other people.


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Finally

The success of a marriage is dependent upon whether or not each spouse chooses to value the other highly.


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adding value in your marriage

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