academic english iii november 5, 2014 using tables/figures in apa style

ACADEMIC ENGLISH III

November 5, 2014

Using tables/figures in APA style

Rainfall in South Africa

Today

- Quotations & Paraphrasing (pt. 2)

- Another look at academic style

Paraphrasing

Putting a passage into your own words without altering the meaning.

Used to:

- (slightly) shorten a longer statement, maintaining the main ideas

- implement information/ideas from others’ work

Paraphrasing techniques - PracticeToday, people are worried about internet security. Internet security is a common concern these days.

Advocates of internet tracking believe that it helps marketers to understand what people want. According to supporters of internet tracking, marketers can gain better understanding of consumers through internet tracking.

People who oppose internet tracking believe that it is an invasion of privacy.

Violation of privacy is an often-cited criticism of internet tracking.

This information age will cause more and more people to become concerned with the level of personal detail that can be found from the internet.

As the information age progresses, the increasing amount of personal information readily available online will create further distress.

How to paraphrase

- Read the original passage carefully, several times.

- Decide the main ideas of the passage.

- Highlight important words or phrases.

- Put the main points in your own words.

- Check your version with the original to make sure:

1. the original’s meaning is preserved.2. your version is sufficiently different from the original

(Oshima & Hogue, 2006)

Compare the original and paraphrase1. How many sentences are in the original. How many in the paraphrase?

2. Analyze the differences in sentence structure and words between the original and paraphrase.

a. What is the first word of the first sentence in the original? Where does this word appear in the first sentence of the paraphrase?

b. What is the first word in the second sentence in the original? What word replaces it in the second sentence of the paraphrase?

c. What words replace “have dreamed of” in the third sentence? What word replaces “arguments in favor of” in the fourth sentence?

d. Which sentence in the original becomes two sentences in the paraphrase?

Compare the original and paraphrase1. How many sentences are in the original. How many in the paraphrase?

2. Analyze the differences in sentence structure and words between the original and paraphrase.

a. What is the first word of the first sentence in the original? Where does this word appear in the first sentence of the paraphrase?

b. What is the first word in the second sentence in the original? What word replaces it in the second sentence of the paraphrase?

c. What words replace “have dreamed of” in the third sentence? What word replaces “arguments in favor of” in the fourth sentence?

d. Which sentence in the original becomes two sentences in the paraphrase?

56

Language

at the endBut

however

have wished for

reasons

the last sentence

Paraphrase Example

Original:

Differentiation as an instructional approach promotes a balance between a student's style and a student's ability. Differentiated instruction provides the student with options for processing and internalizing the content, and for constructing new learning in order to progress academically (Thompson, 2009).

Paraphrase Example - PoorOriginal:


Paraphrase:

Differentiation is a way to encourage equality between the approach and talent of the student (Thompson, 2009). This type of instruction gives students different ways to deal with and grasp information, and for establishing new learning to move on in education (Thompson, 2009).

Paraphrase Example - Improved

Original:


ParaphraseTeachers use differentiated instruction to help students learn, allowing the teacher to cater lessons to the way each student learns and each student's skill (Thompson, 2009).

Paraphrase: Important note

ALWAYS include a citation when you paraphrase.

- Just because you have changed the delivery of the idea does not mean it is yours.

- Einstein’s Theory of Relativity

If I call it “Relativity Theory”, that doesn’t make it mine.

Einstein’s Theory of Relativity

Prof. Merritt’s Relativity Theory. Hmm…

Paraphrase: Important note

APA style does not require you to include page numbers for summaries and paraphrasing, but it is a useful courtesy for your reader.

Paraphrase

- “The purpose of paraphrasing is to be able to use it as supporting material in your writing,” (Oshima & Hogue, 2006, p. 245).

- Obviously, the same goes for quotations and summaries.

Paraphrase Example 1

Passage from a Book:

Ancient Egyptians believed that Osiris, a good and wise king, was the first pharaoh. He spread knowledge to other parts of the world, while his wife, Isis, ruled Egypt in his place.

Good Paraphrase Example

HIGHLIGHTED PASSAGE

Ancient Egyptians believed that Osiris, a good and wise king, was the first pharaoh. He spread knowledge to other parts of the world, while his wife, Isis, ruled Egypt in his place

ORIGINAL PASSAGE• Ancient Egyptians

believed that Osiris, a good and wise king, was the first pharaoh. He spread knowledge to other parts of the world, while his wife, Isis, ruled Egypt in his place.

PARAPHRASED

PASSAGE• King Osiris was the first

pharaoh and spread knowledge. Queen Isis ruled Egypt when he was gone.

Bad Paraphrase Example

Original Passage• Ancient Egyptians

believed that Osiris, a good and wise king, was the first pharaoh. He spread knowledge to other parts of the world, while his wife, Isis, ruled Egypt in his place.

Highlighted Passage

Ancient Egyptians believed that Osiris, a good and wise king, was the first pharaoh. He spread knowledge to other parts of the world, while his wife, Isis, ruled Egypt in his place.

Poor Paraphrasing• King Osiris was an

ancient Egyptian King and the first pharaoh. He was good and wise because he spread knowledge to other parts of the world. His wife Isis ruled Egypt in his place.

Paraphrase Example 2

Passage from a Book:

Upon returning home, Osiris was murdered by his evil brother Set, who cut Osiris’s body into pieces and dumped it in the Nile River. Isis found the body and put it back together by winding linen bandages around it.

Good Example

Original Passage• Upon returning home,

Osiris was murdered by his evil brother, Set who cut his body into pieces and dumped it in the Nile River. Isis found the body and put it back together by winding linen bandages around it.

Highlighted Passage

Upon returning home, Osiris was murdered by his evil brother, Set who cut his body into pieces and dumped it in the Nile River. Isis found the body and put it back together by winding linen bandages around it.

Paraphrased Passage

Osiris’s brother Set killed Osiris by cutting his body into pieces, and Isis put the body back together.

Bad Example

Original Passage• Upon returning home,

Osiris was murdered by his evil brother, Set who cut his body into pieces and dumped it in the Nile River. Isis found the body and put it back together by winding linen bandages around it.

Highlighted Passage

Upon returning home, Osiris was murdered by his evil brother, Set who cut his body into pieces and dumped it in the Nile River. Isis found the body and put it back together by winding linen bandages around it.

Poor Paraphrasing• Osiris was murdered

and Isis found the body

Academic WritingAcademic writing:

- Aim is to present information as clearlyand accurately as possible.

Example:

A lot of people think that the weather is getting worse.

They say that this has been going on for quite a long time.

I think that they are quite right. Research has shown that we now get storms etc all the time.

Academic Writing Passage Problem

A lot of people think… Imprecise – how many is ‘a lot’?

…the weather… Imprecise – ‘weather’ is a short term concept

…getting worse… Informal

They say… Imprecise pronoun

…going on… Informal phrasal verb

…quite a long time. Imprecise – how long is this?

I think… Informal - personal pronoun

Research… Vague – whose research?

…we now get… Informal

…storms, etc… vague

…all the time. Overgeneralized

Academic Writing

A lot of people think that the weather is getting worse.

They say that this has been going on for quite a long time.

I think that they are quite right. Research has shown that we now get storms etc all the time.

Re-written:

Experts widely believe that the climate is deteriorating. Climatologists claim that this process has been continuing for nearly 100 years. McKinley (1997) appears to support this belief, demonstrating a 55% increase in the frequency of severe winter gales since 1905.

Tips for Academic Style

1. Avoid idioms or colloquial vocabulary.

i.e., “dad”, “guy”.

Instead, use standard English

“father”, “man”


2. Be as precise as possible when discussing facts or figures.

Avoid phrases such as “about a hundred years ago”or “thousands of years ago”

If you must estimate numbers, use “approximately” not “about”

“approximately one hundred years ago…”


3. Avoid adverbs that show your personal attitude/opinion.

i.e., “luckily”, “thankfully”, “happily”, “regrettably”


4. Do not use contractions.

Don’t do not

Can’t cannot

Note: Possessives are not contractions.

i.e., The school’s projector.


5. Avoid these words:

“like” for introducing examples.

Alternative: “such as, …” “for instance, …”

“thing” and its combinations (i.e., “something” “nothing”)

Alternative: “factor” “issue” “aspect”



“lots of”

Alternative: “a significant number” “a considerable number”“a considerable amount”

“little/big”

Alternative: “small” “large”



“get” phrases, such as “get better” “get worse”.

Alternative: “improve” “deteriorate”

“good/bad” these are too simplistic

Alternative: “positive/negative”

i.e., The changes had several positive aspects.


6. When writing lists, avoid “etc.” “and so on”.

Instead, insert “and” before the final item in the list.

i.e, Finding employment requires motivation, strong work ethic, and so on.

Finding employment requires motivation, strong work ethic, and a positive attitude.


7. Avoid two-word verbs (phrasal verbs) IF there is a suitable synonym.

i.e., “go on”, “bring up”.

“continue”, “raise”

Tips for Academic Style - ExamplesSadly, serious crime like murder is going up.

Serious crime, such as murder, is increasing.

You can’t always trust the numbers in that report.

The figures in that report are not reliable.

The second thing is that most kids in that district will become criminals.

The second factor is that the majority of children in that district may become criminals.

Academic Writing Style – further examples

These examples are taken from: Uni Learning

- http://unilearning.uow.edu.au

Specific Words

http://unilearning.uow.edu.au/

http://unilearning.uow.edu.au/


Phrasal verbs


Specific vocabulary in descriptions

Avoiding “really”, “very”

Academic style worksheet

1. I think that there’s a big risk of more strikes, disorder, etc.

2. Regrettably, the inflation in Russia led to things like a lot of increased poverty, illness and so on.

3. Some time soon they will find a vaccine for malaria.


4. It was reported on the news site that a pretty big guy beat up the two foreign kids.

5. The distance from downtown to the crime scene is more or less around 3 km, and I would say that the distance makes the suspect's participation in the crime kind of not likely.


6. But, the new employee hiring rules are good for the company.

7. The very horrible movie was created by a group of bad producers which did not make much money at the box office.

8. A lot of problems came out because the police made a discovery of criminal activity in city hall.

Reminders

1. Paper 1 first draft: Bring to class on Monday for peer editing.

2. Journals: You can pick up your journal outside my office on Friday.

academic english iii november 5, 2014 using tables/figures in apa style

Documents

original passage

sentence structure

original oshima hogue

internet security

advocates of internet

important words

personal information

main ideas