A Tribute to Michael DavisJuly, 2015

"You can choose between love or fear. Love is joining and fear is separating." ~Michael Davis

Living in the NowLessons from Michael Davis

by Linda Kreger Silverman

Michael Davis left us May 6th, 2015. A few days later, I opened the May issue of , and was greetedThe Sunwith excerpts from Eckhart Tolle’s book, Not a coincidence. Years ago, Michael Davis giftedStillness Speaks. me with Tolle’s . Looking back, I realize that he was saying, “Linda, this is who I am. ReadThe Power of Nowthis and see me.”

Michael lived in the . He visited as briefly as possible the land of organization, the sea of accountability. ItNowwas Michael’s intense presentness—his ability to set aside his own agenda and with people—which madebehim an excellent therapist, a wonderful friend and a superb father.

Teri Lutz, who was in a supervision group with him 35 years ago, wrote, “I will pass along a lovely memory Ihave. I remember him saying once that he used to calm his children by holding them and breathing in rhythmwith them. That was before we had kids and I always loved that.” In Upside-Down Brilliance: The

, I captured Michael’s method of responding to his children’s conflicts:Visual-Spatial Learner

"Michael Davis, our Staff Counselor, used a nonverbal technique with his four sons. When one of themwould come to him crying, he would hold the boy and imitate his erratic breathing. Then, gradually, hewould calm his own breathing pattern, and his son would follow suit. No words were exchanged, noexplanation of what happened was given. When the boy felt calmer, he returned to his brothers." (p.254)

Our minds want to interrogate to determine the perpetrator of the wrong doing and make the childaccountable. But Eckhart Tolle maintains that we are not our minds. Michael agreed: he always led with hisheart. He was gentle and loving, with an immense capacity for fun.

Michael’s child-centered approach enabled him to enter children’s inner worlds, see the world through theireyes, and help them to act with intention instead of reacting. He held certifications in conflict negotiation,Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), The (MBTI) and Imago Couples Therapy. HeMyers-Briggs Type Indicatorfounded The Center for Proactive Relationships with his wife, Susan McCallum, who will continue the Center.Together, they mentored couples in creating peaceful minds and harmonious relationships.

Michael’s clients were astounded at the insights he derived about their family dynamics from interpreting theirMBTI scores. Michael discovered that most of his gifted clients were Introverts (I); he found that mostunderachievers were strong Perceivers (P) and that tension often ensued when one of their parents was astrong Judger (J). His feedback sessions helped family members better understand themselves and eachother; by not taking personality differences personally, they were able to construct creative solutions. We willcontinue to offer the MBTI, and hope to publish Michael’s findings on MBTI patterns in gifted families.

We miss you, Michael. Irrepressible, irreplaceable, you softened the pain, transcended the confusion andtransformed so many lives. You lived a good life on your own terms. And you left feeling complete. Youembodied “The Power of Now.”

A Tribute to Michael Davis Something You Can Do…

As a friend,When you think of Michael,

Remember the times he has touched you.Hold him in your heart.

Pass on his goodness, kindness and brilliancethrough you to others.

Look into his eyesHold his hand.

Breathe with him.Sit, talk, walk with him.

Dance with him.Laugh with him.

Take him on the river of life with you,He loves that!

Share him with others.

Feel his gifts to you.Know he is touched by you, too.

That’s what you can do...

by Susan McCallum